Episode 1 Imposter Syndrome

The podcast, "Just Laurie, I Can Only Be Me," is about embracing authenticity and overcoming imposter syndrome. The host, Valora, shares her experiences and provides advice to help listeners navigate their journey with confidence. Imposter syndrome is the persistent feeling of self-doubt and fear of being exposed as a fraud, despite evidence of success. It can manifest in different ways, such as perfectionism, overworking, attributing success to luck, and avoiding asking for help. Valora encourages listeners to recognize these patterns and change the narrative by reframing asking for help as a strength. Collaboration and setting clear goals can help overcome imposter syndrome. Hey everyone, welcome to Just Laurie, I Can Only Be Me, the podcast that empowers authenticity one story at a time. I'm your host Valora, aka Laurie, and I am beyond excited to have you join me on this incredible journey. As a creative coach, graphic designer, illustrator, and master brave and leave artist, I've dedicated my life to the world of art, design, and personal growth. This podcast is a culmination of my experiences, passion, and a deep desire to uplift and inspire each of you. Now, I named this podcast, Just Laurie, I Can Only Be Me, because it truly reflects what I believe in. In a world that often pushes us to fit in, I'm all about the power of embracing who we really are. This space is here to celebrate individuality, explore self-worth, and tackle that sneaky imposter syndrome so many of us face. I started this podcast because I know everyone has a unique story and a valuable insights to share. Throughout my career, I've met so many people who battle feelings of not being good enough. I've seen how life-changing self-acceptance and personal growth can be. My goal here is to create a space for honest conversations, inspiring stories, and practical advice to help you navigate your journey with confidence and authenticity. So what exactly is imposter syndrome? It's that nagging feeling of self-doubt, the persistent belief that you're not as capable as others think you are, and that it's only a matter of time before you're found out as a fraud. Despite your achievements, you feel like you don't deserve them and you attribute your success to luck or external factors rather than your own abilities. Now, imposter syndrome can show up in many ways. Maybe you're constantly overworking to prove yourself, or perhaps you avoid new challenges out of fear of failure. You might even find yourself downplaying your accomplishments, thinking they're no big deal. Now, in today's episode, it's just going to be me and you. We're diving deep into the imposter syndrome. I'll break down what it is, explore the different types, and share strategies to help you overcome it. So grab your favorite drink, get comfortable, and let's embark on this journey together. All right, let's get into it. So what exactly is imposter syndrome? If you've ever felt like you're not good enough, despite clear evidence to the contrary, you're not alone. Imposter syndrome is a psychological pattern where you doubt your skills, talents, or accomplishments and have a persistent fear of being exposed as a fraud. Even though you've got the skills and the success to back you up, you still feel like you're just faking it and it's only a matter of time before anyone finds out. Imposter syndrome can hit anybody, but it often shows up in high achievers. You might think, you know, once I reach a certain level of success, these feelings will go away, but no, imposter syndrome doesn't work like that. It doesn't matter how much you've achieved, it's that nagging voice that keeps telling you you're not good enough. Now let's break it down a bit. Imposter syndrome has some key characteristics. You have self-doubt, you're constantly questioning your abilities and fearing that others will discover your perceived inadequacies, overworking, you might overwork yourself to compensate for what you think are your shortcomings, trying to prove yourself, attributing success to external factors. Instead of recognizing your hard work and talent, you might believe your success is due to luck, timing, or other external factors. Fear of failure, this can lead you to avoid new challenges altogether. Okay, so there are some different types of imposter syndrome. So imposter syndrome doesn't look the same for everyone. It can manifest in different ways, and understanding these types can help us recognize and address them. So let's break down some of the common types of imposter syndrome, okay? You have the perfectionist, setting excessively high goals, feeling like a failure if those goals are not met perfectly. Now imagine somebody who spends hours perfecting every detail of a project. When any small mistake is made, they feel like they failed completely. For example, you might be that person who tweaks a presentation over and over and over again, feeling it's never good enough, and if there's one minor error, it ruins the entire thing for you. Now this constant need for perfection can lead to burnout. It can also result in procrastination because you fear starting a task unless you're sure you can do it perfectly. Then you have the superwoman or the superman, feeling the need to work harder and longer than others to prove your worth, overcommitting and taking on extra tasks. Like think of a colleague who stays late every night and takes on extra tasks, believing they have to work harder than everyone else to be seen as competent. Now they might be juggling multiple projects and responsibilities, feeling that any sign of relaxation or taking a break is a sign of weakness. Now this can lead to severe work-life imbalance. You know, over time, it can cause a lot of stress and fatigue, affecting both mental and physical health. You have the natural genius, you know, believing you must be a natural talent and struggle when things don't come easily, feeling ashamed when you have to work hard to understand or master something. You know, like consider someone who was always the top student in school, right? When they struggle with a challenging new skill at work, they feel like an imposter because they're not picking it up as fast as they think they should. Now this can lead to avoiding new challenges altogether. It can cause feelings of inadequacy and frustration when faced with learning curves. Then you have the soloist. The soloist prefers to work by themselves. They feel more comfortable handling tasks independently. They believe working alone proves their competence. They don't want to ask for help. They avoid it. They avoid asking for help because they see it as a sign of weakness. They feel that seeking assistance undermines their abilities. You know, the soloist believes they should be able to accomplish everything on their own. They equate self-reliance with success and see collaboration as unnecessary. How crazy is that? They just don't want any help. They feel like, you know, I should have this all together. I should know this. I'm just going to do it by myself. I don't understand what's really going on, but I'm not going to ask for help because I feel like I'm being weak if I do that. Now the soloist may struggle with teamwork and collaboration. Their reluctance to seek help can lead to insufficiencies and missed opportunities for synergy. You know, they might miss out on valuable input and diverse perspectives. The soloist need to do, they need to do everything by themselves on their own, you know, and that can lead to burnout. They may sacrifice personal time, self-care, and relationships to prove their worth. By not, now by not seeking help or mentoring, the soloist may miss opportunities for learning and growth. They might struggle to advance in their careers as leadership roles often require strong collaboration and delegation skills. Now, you know, you want to acknowledge this issue. The first step is recognizing the tendency to avoid asking for help and understanding that it's rooted in a fear of being seen as inadequate. Now change the narrative. Reframe asking for help as a strength rather than weakness. Understand that seeking assistance shows self-awareness and a willingness to grow. Start by asking for help with small tasks. Gradually build up to larger requests as you become more comfortable. Develop trust, you know, in your colleagues and team members. Recognize that collaboration can lead to better results and that others are willing to support you. You know, they're like, yeah, I got your back, I can help. You know, keep track of instances where asking for help led to positive outcomes. Reflecting on these experiences can help shift our mindset and make it easier to seek support in the future. You know, you want to set clear goals. Identify specific areas where you need assistance. This can make it easier to approach others with clear and actionable requests. You know, foster open and honest communication with your team. Let them know that you value their input and you're willing to collaborate. Build a network of trust, you know, of trusted colleagues, mentors, and friends who you can turn to for advice and support. Acknowledge and collaborate, you know, the successes that come from teamwork. Recognize that shared achievements are just as valuable as individual ones. Now let's say you're at a family gathering, right, and you decide to cook the whole meal by yourself. You spend hours in the kitchen missing out on all the fun, all the laughter and the conversations happening in the living room. When dinner is finally ready, you are so tired, you can't even enjoy the meal, you know, or your company. Now imagine if you had asked a few family members to help. Not only would the meal prep have been quicker and more enjoyable, but you'd also have shared the joy of creating something together. That's the power of collaboration. It brings people together and it makes the process more fulfilling. Now by understanding these different types of imposter syndrome, we can better recognize the patterns in our own lives and start to address them head on. Now whether you see yourself in one of these categories or a mix of them, remember you're not alone in feeling this way. We're all in this together and recognizing these feelings is the first step towards overcoming them. Now let's, I'm going to tell you about my girl Jessica. Jess is a marketing manager and she's at this big-time firm and she's killing it, right? She's always getting praises from her bosses and delivering top-notch work. But every time she steps into those high-level meetings, she feels like she doesn't belong. Despite her success, she's convinced that it's all luck. Jessica overprepares for every presentation, staying late to get everything perfect. Her colleagues see her dedication and think she's got it all together. But deep down inside, Jessica is fighting the battle every day. Then there's Marcus, the tech whiz, who launched a killer startup. His apps are blowing up. Investors are knocking down his door on the regular. But he can't shake the feeling that he doesn't deserve any of it. He looks at other tech leaders and thinks, man, they've really got it going on, not me. He keeps second-guessing his decisions and he looks for validation from everybody around him, which messes with his confidence and leadership. And then we can't forget Emily, the straight-A student at her university. She's the top of her class, right? But she feels like she's got to work twice as hard just to keep up. Every high grade feels like she's tricking her professor somehow. Emily's always up late, redoing assignments, afraid to speak up in class because she thinks she'll mess up. Her friends see her as a role model, but she's carrying this heavy load of self-doubt. Now, imposter syndrome isn't just a mental game. It affects our lives in big ways. We have, like, stalled career growth. You avoid new challenges or leadership roles because you're scared you'll be exposed. Underperformance, self-doubt makes you underperform, missing out on opportunities. Poor job satisfaction, even if the job's perfect for you, feeling inadequate makes it hard to enjoy it. Interpersonal strain, always needing validation and fearing failure, strange relationships with colleagues and mentors. Personal growth inhibition, you hold back from pursuing hobbies or goals, thinking you're not good enough. And here's some real-life examples and stats. Now, imposter syndrome hits more people than you think. Studies show that around 70% of folks feel like imposters at one time or another. Even big names like Michelle Obama have opened up about their struggles with self-doubt. And it's not just adults either. It's a huge issue for students, too, leading to stress and burnout. Now, let's talk about how we can tackle this beast, okay? Acknowledge your feelings. Okay, so first things first, let's keep it real. It's super important to recognize and accept your feelings without beating yourself up. Trust me, we all go through it. Understanding that feeling like this, feeling like an imposter is totally normal and it can take a lot of pressure off you. Now, you know what helps? Talking it out. Seriously, open up to your friends, mentors, or co-workers about what's going on in your head. You'll be amazed at how many folks feel the same way. It's like a weight lifted off your shoulders when you realize you're not alone. Keep track of your wins, big or small. Jot down your accomplishments and the good stuff people say about you. Keep a journal. When you're feeling down, read through them and remember it's not just, good luck, baby girl, or dude, it's you being awesome. Okay, now listen, social media is just a highlight reel, okay? Everyone's got their own stuff going on behind the scenes. Focus on your journey and how far you've come. Comparing yourself to others is just a fast track to feeling bad for no reason, so stop comparing, stop playing that comparison game. Now, failure, that's just a step towards success. Every time you mess up, you're learning and getting better, so don't sweat it. Embrace those stumbles, they're making you stronger. And hey, if it gets too heavy, don't hesitate to reach out for professional help. You have coaches, mentors, therapists, they're all there to give you strategies and support, it's a sign of strength to ask for help when you need it. And here's the deal, we're all a work in progress, okay? Believing in yourself doesn't mean you think you're perfect. It means you trust that you can learn, grow, and handle whatever comes your way. Remember, success and growth take time. It's a journey full of ups and downs. Every step forward, no matter how small, is a win. Trust yourself to grow from every experience. Let's build a supportive space where we can share our fears and encourage each other. Talk about our stories, struggles, and victories. We're in this together, and together we can overcome anything. You are capable, you are deserving, you belong. Okay, we covered a lot today from what imposter syndrome looks like to how it messes with our heads and our lives, but remember, it's okay to feel this way. The important thing is to recognize these feelings and tackle them head on. Here's a little quote to keep you going. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. And an affirmation for you, I am worthy of all my achievements and successes. In our next episode, we will be talking about embracing authenticity, the power of being yourself. We'll discuss why it's important to stay true to yourself and share practical tips for embracing your unique identity. I can't wait to share it with you. Thanks for hanging out with me on this episode of Just Laurie, I Can Only Be Me. I hope our talk on imposter syndrome gave you some insights and strategies to handle those feelings. Remember, you're not alone, and being your authentic self is a journey worth taking. And if you enjoyed the show, my very first episode, which I hope you did, feel free to subscribe and leave a review. Your feedback helps us grow and reach more awesome people like you. God bless. Much love from me, I'm Just Laurie.