Episode 19 Body & Outro

Feeling stuck and unfulfilled is common, but there are ways to break free. Embracing failure is important, as it can be a stepping stone to success. Don't be afraid to fail and learn from your mistakes. Seek support, like hiring a life coach, to help you make progress. Feeling stuck and unfulfilled is something many of us experience at some point in our lives. It's that nagging sense that there's more to life, that we have untapped potential waiting to be unleashed. So Sean, how do we break free from that feeling and start living a life filled with purpose and meaning every single day? Well, that's a great question. A couple weeks ago, my co-host and best friend, we shared four tips. I would highly encourage you to make sure you go back and listen to part one of this part two season. So diving into it, tip five is going to be embrace failure. Well, Sean, what do you mean by embrace failure? What I mean by this is don't be afraid to fail. Well, Sean, that's easier said than done. I would agree with you. Failure is often a stepping stone to success. That's the way I look at it. It's just a stepping stone. Failure, the word itself, is sometimes frowned upon and sometimes it's a scary word, right? Failure, I don't wanna fail. I don't wanna fail in front of my friends, my family, my parents, my community. I don't wanna look like a failure. But the way I look at it, and I would encourage you to look at it, is put a different meaning to it. Look at it as a stepping stone to success and where you want to go. You're just learning from your mistakes because you're an imperfect action taker. You're not perfect. Adjust your course and keep moving forward. Put one foot in front of the other. And remember that every successful person that you look up to, that you want to model their behavior, aspire to be more like, has faced dozens, hundreds, thousands of setbacks along the way. So to give you an example and share a story with you, if you've listened to my prior episodes, you know that I have been on this running journey here in the last seven or eight months. When I first started in January of 2023, I told myself prior to lacing up my shoes that I wasn't a runner. I told all my friends, my family, I just simply was not a runner. I was over 200 pounds at the time and I was always more interested in the HIIT workouts, which is a high intensity interval workout, which is you're basically done in 10 to 15, 20 minutes, high heart rate and then you're done. You've had a fantastic workout. Whereas running, I always looked at it like, oh man, these guys are running and girls are running dozens of miles, hundreds of miles. I could never do that or I'd never want to do that. But I never really dissected it and looked at it from a standpoint of I can do this. So when I started in my running journey, one of the failure and stepping stones to my journey to success in being a runner was when I originally started out, I had what's called a runner's knee. If you look it up on Google, it's basically just this annoying pain in your knee when you start running. Basically, for me personally, my form was all off. I didn't have the right shoes. I had an overstride. I didn't have the right pace, the right effort. So I ended up having what's called a runner's knee and what this was is it just, all the pain would go to my knee. And so I couldn't run more than a mile or two miles. And so I had to embrace that failure of a running knee and simply look at it as a stepping stone. Like I could have said, hey, I've got a runner's knee. My knee hurts, I'm done running. It's not for me. Or I could look at it as a stepping stone to where I wanted to go with running. I could learn from my mistake what I was doing and adjust the course to becoming a runner and keep moving forward. So that's exactly what I did. So one of the things that I learned was, after researching runner's knee, was I came out of the gates way too hot. I tried to run several miles. My stride was over. My pace was way too fast. I was lifting too much weight. I tried to squat too much weight. I ran, like I said, too many miles when I first started running. I basically did more harm than good. I set myself back. But I embraced the failure. I couldn't put one foot in front of the other, went down the rabbit hole and learned on what I needed to do moving forward. And what that looked like was I needed to do, I needed to focus on my form, focus on my breathing, do less mileage, do more zone one, zone two, and scrape the surface of zone three cardio, focus on my form, my breathing, where my shoulders were, where my face was. Also, another thing that I learned as well is don't do squats the same day as you run because all this was putting pressure on my knee and it just wasn't ready for everything that I was doing to it. So embracing that failure, understanding that, hey, I'm not gonna throw in the towel because my knee hurts and I'm done, I'm not becoming a runner, it's not meant for me, I embraced the failure, I embraced the suck. And this can apply in your life. Think about it, how it could apply in your life in any area of life. This could be anything from health and fitness, money and wealth, growing that business, relationship, your marriage, your kids. You're not gonna be perfect, right? It's trial and error, you're a human, you're imperfect. And so give yourself grace, give yourself compassion, and don't be afraid to fail. Just looking at it as a stepping stone. Learn from the mistake and adjust your course and keep moving forward, being 1% better than you were yesterday. Another example is embracing failure was, for me personally, when I first started building my first business in 2015, I had a high employee turnover. If you've listened to my prior episodes and listened to my story, I was a bulldozer. I did everything in my power to show up and get things done. And I got things done, but they were on my terms. And you know what it did for everybody around me? It made it miserable for them. Made it miserable for my employees. Made it miserable for my family, my friends, my community. Made it miserable for everybody around me. So I embraced that failure because it was a failure when I had awesome and fantastic employees leave the business because of my attitude as a leader, my behavior as a leader, and not being a great leader, being even a good leader. I was a horrible leader. So I had to embrace that failure. It was a huge failure because I had lost several fantastic employees that might still be with me today if I was a good leader or a great leader and not just concerned about myself. So I had to look at that as a stepping stone. I could have been, as a business owner, been like, you know what? All these employees are leaving me. I'm done. I'm throwing in the towel. I'm out. Right? I'm exhausted. I'm tired. I have nobody that wants to work here at the business. I have nobody that wants to work with me. I have nobody that wants to work alongside of me. But I looked at it as a stepping stone. I learned this was the key ingredient. I had to learn from my mistakes. I had to learn about being a bad leader. I had to learn the difference between a bad leader and a good leader. A good leader is going to be flexible, be compassionate, be empathetic, be understanding, be supportive, give recognition, give words of affirmation, give pay raises, be flexible with their schedule, knowing that they're not gonna run at 110% like Sean Myers is, connecting with them, relating to them. So I had to learn these things in a just course as a business owner and leader and keep moving forward. The last example I'll give you in story is back in 2012, out of college I was, for three years I worked for Enterprise Rent-A-Car and I got fired from Enterprise Rent-A-Car and then I also started working, that's when I got off in the insurance industry in 2012 and was fired from State Farm. So I know a thing or two about failure. I thought it was the end of the world, I thought I was terminated, I thought I was gonna be judged, I thought what are my friends and family gonna think about me? This was all a setback for me, this was all a failure. All the sweat, equity, the time, energy and effort that I had put into these businesses to help them grow, the plug was pulled within a matter of minutes. And of course at that time, I was in my 20s, I didn't understand at that point what embracing failure looked like, what stepping stones to success looked like, what learning from mistakes looked like in adjusting course. Because I know people in my life that they don't learn from their mistakes. And this can apply in any area of life, right? You can learn from your mistakes, adjust your course and keep moving forward in about every other area of your life, business, health and wellness and fitness, but what about neglecting your spouse or neglecting your kids? Or the flip side of that, what about neglecting your finances? Not looking at it, not staring it down, not addressing the issue instead of putting a Band-Aid over it. So this is what embracing, what failure looks like. And I had to do that and unfortunately when I was fired from State Farm and Enterprise Rent-A-Car, I just slapped a Band-Aid on it and then picked my head up several years later, five, six, seven years later, almost a decade later, where I finally got the wake-up call and realized and looked myself in the mirror after hiring a life coach, for things to change, I have to change. And that's when the aha moment went. So I would encourage you to do the same thing, embrace the failure, don't frown upon it, but embrace it. It's just a stepping stone. Tip number six is gonna be seek support. So this was a beautiful transition going from embracing failure to seeking support because once you embrace failure, once you understand that it's just stepping stones, just mistakes, just correcting course, when you seek support, and the reason this is tip number six is because when I had hired my first life coach and my first coach, the rest was history. Because once I saw the progress and once I saw that start working in my life, because of the questions that he was asking me, because of the different perspectives that he was asking me, because of the worksheets and the tools and the books that he was sharing with me, I was able to shed light on what we call the blind spot. Because there's things going on in your life right now in one area of life that you are struggling in, that you are feeling stuck or unfulfilled, is because you're just existing like I was. I was just existing in this crazy world that we're living in, and we call it the rat race. You're just existing. And to me, that was, I was not living the life that I wanted to live. I knew there was untapped potential there. So when I transitioned to seeking support, I saw the progress within a matter of weeks of going from this life coach, embracing the failure, learning that I need to draw the circle around me, understand it's all me, it's not, I need to accept full responsibility for my actions and what's going on in my life. It's nobody else's fault but mine. So that's when I started seeking support from friends and family. And I would encourage you to do the same, and one of the things that I did that really helped me out was I started with my inner circle. And so for me, I had my head down. I was a bulldozer. I didn't really have a close relationship at the time a couple years ago with a lot of my friends. I had, you know, they were building their lives and their kids and their businesses, and so we never really kept in touch. And one of the things that I've always, that I've always learned along the road was is if you want more friends, if you want a bigger network, well then you go be a friend to somebody. And that's how you grow your network, that's how you grow your friends. So that's when I started reaching out. I intentionally reached out to my, what I call inner circle, which is, you know, my best friend and some guys that I had wanted to model their behaviors the last decade and what they have done in their careers and in their lives. And I had to intentionally do this. So surround yourself with people who believe in your potential and can provide that guidance and encouragement when times get tough. It's not if, but it's when times get tough. Have that one or two, guy or girl, that you can call on when times get tough. And so for me, if I'm having business issues, leadership issues, financial issues, relationship issues, if something is not going the way, if I'm feeling stuck or unfulfilled or lost or there's something, there's a light that needs to be shed upon what I'm not seeing, this is where I seek support. Whereas before, the last two decades, I thought I could figure it out on my own. And I would just YouTube it, podcast it. But what happens, there's a difference between doing your own research and due diligence and talking to somebody over coffee or on the phone or surrounding yourself with that one person, one guy, one girl where there's a confirmation. That's the biggest thing is the confirmation. When you have somebody else that's been through the same thing that you've been, that you're going through, let me repeat that. When you are talking to somebody over coffee or on the phone that has been where you are currently, right now, in your area of life, maybe you're struggling in your finances because of a tough economy. Maybe your business is struggling. Maybe your employees are leaving you. Maybe you're just existing in your marriage. And it's not prospering, it's not blissful. Well, guess what? There is somebody that has already been where you are. So seeking support, and you have to be intentional about this, it will speed up the process in getting to where you wanna go in that area of life. Like I've shared with you when I hired my first coach, almost two years ago. If not, what happens is we're just existing. You're just existing right now. So that seeking support, and to give you an example, some of the clubs that I've created and groups are the Alpha Run Club, which is a run club on Saturday that's open to the public. If people are interested in leveling up and living their life, a beautiful, blissful, peaceful, happy, leveling up life, we've created this run club and aligned with fitness. We've also created a mastermind group. Therapists, counseling, all these are mentors and coaches that I would encourage you to seek and support and get support to level up. Tip number seven, practice patience. So you know the old saying, Rome wasn't built in a day and neither is a purpose-driven life. I'm 36, and I didn't understand what a purpose-driven life was up until about 24 months ago. Up until I was 34 years of age, I was just driven by whatever it may be, right? Six pack of abs, money, wealth, happy marriage, whatever it was, there was no purpose behind it. When you practice patience, and when you find what it is that you can understand the journey behind what you're doing and becoming the best version of yourself, it may take time to fully realize your actual purpose and potential like it did me. And the key is to celebrate the wins, the progress along the way. And that was one of the things I didn't really do in 2012 coming out of college is celebrate the wins, getting fired from State Farm and Enterprise Rent-A-Car, but all those accomplishments that I had done, everything from a company car and making the most money that I've ever made and having employees and managing multiple dozens of rental cars, helping customers, so there are all these accomplishments but I didn't enjoy the wins. There was no patience, I wanted it now, I wanted the snap of the finger. I wanted the success now, I wanted the money now, I wanted the car now, I wanted the house now, I wanted it now. So tip number seven is practice patience. Understand that you are enduring every single day, every single minute, this very minute right now, the decisions you're making, the actions that you're taking is either building you up and becoming the best version of yourself or it's tearing you down and you're just existing and you're dying. So patience is something that I have to intentionally look at every single day because if I'm being transparent with you, patience is not my strong suit. I'm a taffy personality, I'm an eight on the Enneagram, I'm a driver, so I have to be aware of patience when I'm in traffic, when I'm with friends or family or around the kids, I have to practice patience. It's a double-edged sword, sometimes it's good to create urgency but it can also hurt you. So knowing that patience is key and understanding that it's a journey. Shawn, it's not gonna happen overnight, it's gonna take some time, it may take several months, years, decades, but you know what? If I can enjoy the here and the now and be present and still take action, then I'll get to where I wanna go. Tip number eight, continuous learning. This is another huge one and you already know this. Let's be honest, you listening to this, if you're listening to this Level Up podcast, more than likely you're doing other things in your life where you're continuously learning. There's so much noise and distraction out there. There's so much podcast, there's so many books, there's so many workshops, classes. The key is to keep learning and growing and what I have found is not only is personal development like an ongoing process, right? But also too is what is it that you want to get good at? What is it that you want to master? What is it that you want to dive deep on, go down the rabbit hole on? Is it marketing? Is it being a better husband? Being a better wife? Being a better mother, father? Being better with your finances? Being more spiritual? So when I say keep learning and growing, one of the things that I do is, so I can intentionally look at it and review it, is I have a document that's literally like a journal that's in front of me and all my friends and family used to make fun of me, but it's in front of me every single day on my task and responsibilities on what I need to get done. And so I make sure that I carve out what area of life that I need to level up in. And so for me right now, it's really working on being a better husband for my wife. I've been in business, I've built for the last eight, nine, 10 years, and I'll continue. It's like a muscle memory, right? So I've learned from that. So it's like what other areas of life can I dive deep on? Can I continuously learn on? And for me, it's how do I become a better husband? How do I become a better communicator with my wife? How do I fight fair? How do I become a better conflict resolution when we have two type A personalities in the household, which is one is my wife and I'm the other one? This all takes personal development and is an ongoing process. And you have to look at every single day, week, and improve upon, work on it. And this all is aligned together. I'm not gonna be the perfect husband for my wife within a matter of months, years. It takes decades to to come to a common ground where you understand from my experience, me and my wife have been together, been married for a little over six years, together over 11. And so we're now getting to a point where like we are understanding a lot about each other and what makes each other tick and understanding our emotional states and what our fears are, what our beliefs are, values. And these are things that we never talked about in our early marriage, pre-marriage. And now we talk to kids and our friends and family that are in our teens and 20s. And every single chance I get is continuously dive deep on the development of that area of life that you're wanting to level up. Read books, take courses, attend workshops, and never stop expanding your knowledge on that skill set. And it'll be a continuous, I'll be doing this to the day I die. It never stops. Where I think a lot of people go wrong, and this was me speaking from experience, is you think you do one thing, and I've struggled with this for the longest time, you can get your wife flowers and then, okay, boom, check that off the box, I'm good for a couple weeks. Well, that was wrong, right? You may have got, I may have got my wife flowers that day, but guess what, tomorrow's a new day. What's next, right? And it's a continuous journey, so that's, I've shifted my mindset, I've put a different meaning to it of continually learning and being intentional about these different areas of life on where I need to be more intentional and where there may be some neglect and where I need to level up that area of life. And to me, it's a journey. To me, that's what I call a journey, that's what I call enduring. Applied suffering, all these different things of what it is that I don't wanna do, but I do it anyways because I know it's gonna get me to where I wanna go, right? Meaning, better finances, better marriage, better friends, better leader, you see? Continuously learning and growing that skill set and mastering your craft. What course do you need to take? What book do you need to read? What coach do you need to reach out to? The more you learn, the more you can contribute to your overall purpose, is what I have found. And the reason I'm able to share this with on the Level Up podcast. Tip number nine, last but not least. Here's my favorite one. This is where I'm at in my life, giving back. Remember, that life of purpose often involves giving back to others or your community. Tony Robbins says this, the key to happiness is serving and impacting. Think about that for a second. When is the last time that you served at your church or volunteered or helped a little old lady out with something heavy in her garage? Or you gave a dollar to somebody that was requesting a dollar. Or you gave your time, energy, and effort to a teen and you paid it forward on giving some advice. You gave your time. That's giving back, that's the key to happiness. That's the key to serving. What am I doing on this podcast? I'm designating 15, 20, 30, 45 minutes per week and my goal is to do more in the near future to give back to my community on what I've learned. So find ways to use your talents and passions to make a positive impact on the world around you. You are the hero in your own story. I'm just trying to be a guide for you so you can be the own hero in your own story. Right, think about Spider-Man, think about Peter Pan, think about, I was a super, super, was it Clark Kent, Superman. So be the hero in your own story around your friends and family, around your community and positively impact them around them. There is a minute's fulfillment in knowing that your actions benefit others. Some of the things that I've done over the last few months that's really helped me do this in giving back is I've created a mastermind group. I've started a run club, social media content, started a business page, started a business, coaching business, podcast. I want to give back, I want to serve, impact and contribute. I would encourage you to do the same thing. And there you have it, our tips and strategies to go from feeling stuck and unfulfilled to taking action with purpose. Remember, you have the power to transform your life and live with intention. It's never too late to start the journey. Start today. That's all for today's episode of Unstuck and Unleashed. Thank you so much for joining on this adventure of self-discovery and personal growth. If you have found today's episode helpful or of value, please share it with somebody, a friend, a family, you think might benefit from it. We don't do paid advertising, we don't do marketing. Our advertising ads, as of today, October 10th, 2023, of this recording. So you sharing, you sending the link, you leaving a review is what helps this podcast reach more people. That is your giving back today. So if you could do that, I would greatly appreciate it. It would mean the world to me. And as always, keep moving forward with purpose and passion. Until next time, level up and live.