20260314_Juana

Thank you. Hello Sandra, good morning. Good morning Juana, hello. You have a German punctuality. Yes, but not identical punctuality. I don't know, I am very punctual. Very good. I want to say that you are surely 5 minutes. Yes, I see you very beautiful, very different. Because I cut my hair. Because when I went to the Metaphysics Congress, nobody liked my hair. Well, nothing. Wow, no, the candles. The candles. Yes, very beautiful. Well, tell me, how do you feel? Very good, now very good, much better than two days ago. Yes, yes, a process. Yes. Tell me, I know, come on, I know everything, because all this, even I think I have talked to you, right? That it is good, that for a while. You take the reins of your life. That's what the doctors say, the missionaries also agree in Germany. I think it's good. Changes are sometimes good, Sandra. Yes, I understand. Look. How do you see it? I have meditated, I understand, and we will look at it a little more concretely if possible. I understand that a change would be good. And the question is how to do it. Without the image of Maria. I have sent you a map, right? You can look at it, you don't need to look at it, but I thought if there are decisions afterwards, and maybe providence decides, you have to know what you are talking about. But what I also understand is that maybe it is more difficult to take it and decide with you, but I don't know if now I have thought about some questions or something, maybe we can see it. If you have also heard it from me, I can express it. The place of my father means Niffenheim. It is a small town. To begin with, it would be good because it is easy. You go there, you have everything you need, and that's it. But at the same time, I have spoken with them for a few weeks, months, and they said, my sister, to live there for a long time is not the solution either. They don't see me there for different reasons. Good, generous, intelligent, and for different reasons. And then, for me, a real question would be, you have said now for a while, but this for a while, I didn't understand it like that, because if I follow the comments of, for example, my sister Cornelia, that we only see each other in the external, we don't talk about things, maybe with the superior, but I notice very clearly that this word external always appears. Well, but that neither you nor I know. We are all in the hands of God. I believe that wanting to control everything is one of our vices. Of any person, I don't mean you or me, everyone. So, right now, we have talked about it for a year, I have spoken with you a long time ago. It is good that you take the reins of your life, that is, that you are, let's say, as external, that you learn many things, that life in common welcomes you. I don't know, the other day Don Susani told me, that you take things from the bank, well, of course, it is normal. It is what all missionaries should do, right? I give you my money, but I know where my account is, I take the money, it doesn't have to be the intervener who does everything, well. In Germany, I understood that, I see myself very easy, very good, but normally in Germany you can't, because there we could lose, I understand a little, also in my place of family, the other order has asked a lot, a lot, a lot of money for these little things, you know? It is very dangerous in Germany, but it is a retention now. Well, I say it because what is going to happen in the future, neither you nor I know. Yes, exactly. Let God be the one who directs our lives, that is the only important thing. If in a year or two you feel well and you are still well as an external, nothing happens, nothing happens. We are not going to enter the externals, those of life in common, what matters is our lives. If you, I don't know, you can be in life in common, no problems or conflicts are created, neither on one side nor on the other, nor Cornelia, nor you, and I don't know what, well, we will do what God dictates to us all. In that sense I say, let's do this, because it is what we see today, better. And that's it. We are only going to be happy, Sandra, as long as we leave our lives in the hands of God. That does not mean that we do not think, that we do not reason, no. Yes, yes. But, now, that, what is the name of the site? Niebenheim. Well, maybe it's a site. I don't know if you have to be close to your father, it's good, right? Your father likes that. But maybe you don't have to be in the same house. And so your sister and your father stay calm. And you also learn, let's go, it's not that you don't know how to do it, but you learn to cook, to iron, to make your life. That I do, I can do it. You know, the only thing they tell me is, ah, you have to learn to cook. Look, it's not from you, but I like it today. But you have cooked, right? I have seen you cook in Germany. Everyone tells me, my father, what he likes the most is if I cook for him. And look, the thing is, in Frankfurt, or it happens to me a lot, is that things are, They freeze, right? Yes, it freezes, it freezes in the cold. In the cold, and then it warms up. No, no, no, when the fire is too high, you go outside, and then everything in the kitchen is bad. That's in Frankfurt every three weeks. With my father it never happens. Why? Because I'm not free anymore. Enter and leave, or take something to work with. If a cooking takes an hour, I'm not going to put an hour aside, you know? So I go outside, and that's not solved by my speed and all that. But at home, it doesn't happen to me. In these circumstances of confinement, it doesn't happen to me. I don't have problems with cooking, not with other things, with exercises. All right. To make it more concrete, I have reflected that I have spoken, well, at first I was very afraid that it was thrown away. No, no, no, no. I know it's not there, but I admit that it happened to me. And I also admit that the issue of money and security was also very strong in the last few days in the office with Susana. I admit it, really. But I'm running away from looking at it as, well, you see it, or my sisters see it, and it helps to reflect on it. Because, yes, you have to go through these situations. Well, after all this. If now I go there, or I stay in the place here, look, I really like to go there because it's very close to the family. I think it's the right time, because everyone is there. And I'm already grateful for the providence. At the same time, I would like, look, if I'm there, I'm external, and there's a contact, and I have to do the apostolate. Of course. I've already put what apostolate I'm going to do. I've already put it in doubt too. In parentheses. At the same time, I wonder if I'm here, external, very close, I could do better with an apostolate. But let's leave this topic. These are the two sides I wanted to express. If I go there with the idea of truth, these are the little questions I have. If I go there, everyone sees me in the family as I have expressed it before, not as a missionary, because they don't understand the external. If I go there to say, look, I'm preparing something for a year, and then someone comes, this would be open for everything, tranquility, no explanations, very good, very easy. There I find myself. If I don't do this actively, the other comes, and here I lose everything. Because I have to learn to be silent, not to explain everything, of course. I'm thinking about all these things to develop it. Well, you said, next aspect, you've been doing it for a year now. Maybe you've been doing it for a year. I've noticed for a year that they give me information little by little, and then Zabatikow had to have Amarius free in the vision of the family. I don't understand all this. I understand it more and more looking back, but I didn't know it so well, or I didn't understand it. What was the way. So, I ask myself in front of the family and also in front of the members of the church, I have a lot of contact with this community of the Indians, I have contact here, I was in the Superior General of the Indians, here in the residence, there is a lot, the world is small. So, if I go there and I go to the mass, which is very good, but it can be very bad too, I'm not sure when I go there and I do what I want and I make mistakes. I don't want that. It would be to make mistakes. Ok, if that's with the director, I've already said too much. But this won't come out as a problem. I want clarity. So, here in Fürstenwalde, there are two possibilities. Now we have two possibilities. One is that you want me, that you explain to me, that you help me a little in this question that I have mentioned. Or, you are going to be surprised, or not. Or I stay until May or until June next year and I tell you how. Well, there are two ways. The first way is that there is really a change and I trust that everything that we have set up in our residence, in our house, can really be revolutionized. We just say that I don't do many things there, I just clean up. Because the idea is to go to Nifflheim and prepare it. Why do I say this? I'll explain it to you quickly. Because I see a possibility of that. Or we say, no, no, it's enough. I stay in Fürstenwalde, a little closer to the school, and the end is the same. Friday, after half a year or a year. Why? And how? He spoke directly with the director, who was my student, very loving, in a good relationship and very intelligent. I don't understand how he has done it, to develop such a good life in such a short time. You can go to a school for a short time, but it has many qualities. Although I had the school at a low level, tremendous, and now I have a Ph.D. and I go to that school. With a lot of love and dignity. And he told me, and I spoke directly to him, he told me, not talking about his needs, but about the situation he was facing. I don't think he should live here in a parish house. The parents won't find out that something has changed. They won't find out. And then he said, I said, well, the parishes are going to decide this, because on the other side it looks different. I know it too, I know it too. And he said, look, how old is your father? And my father, he said, 89. And he said, if you want, we can set the 8 or 9 or 10, 10 hours, but on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday. And on Thursday, because he thinks that I have a need to go to my father, he thinks that too. And on Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, you can go from time to time, freely, from the community to your father. Well, with this idea, I said, well, this is a solution that I can propose, but I don't know if it would be a solution, or what the community offers us. But it is very much in favor of your father to offer this. He said the following, he said, I have a, I do math with, at the moment with difficult classes, the school is a bit asking for everything, the work, for the customs of the students, and they don't have a concept like in Cologne, Münchenheim, all that, there they have been working on this for a long time, how to guide the children who are lost. And second, I am with the pastoral, which is something very beautiful, but there it is taking away the strength, there are few things that I do well, and there are many things that I can't, everything is too much, and it doesn't come out, and I can't organize the big, big, yes. And he says that we take this away. I believe, Sandra, that the best, I mean, going back to Francuro is probably, I say it again, I don't know the future, nor do you, but the most normal thing is that you come back, but now the good thing is that you go out, and when you come back, we'll see if you come back, as you say, there is no problem, people don't have to be scandalized that we live in the parish house or not, people are only scandalized for our bad deeds. Nothing more. And that's what we have to do, good people inside the house, in school, outside the house, and everywhere. We can't be aware of what others think, it's really absurd. The freedom of the children of God consists, first of all, in that. But I think, I'm sure you're going to go back to Francuro, I think, but you're going to go back to Reno, after a time where you've seen everything from a distance, and you've placed the pieces as in a puzzle. You will value life in common much more, you will value each of your sisters and brothers much more. I think I've understood it, but very well. And then, as you say, I'm sorry to tell you this, but this is life, your father will last a while. Well, as you have said very well, this is the time when you can be closer. You can be at home, or if your sister doesn't see it well, or whatever, in a room, nothing happens. Well, I liked a small room. Well, that's it. Children in Germany, before in Spain, become independent from their parents' house due to many needs, and sometimes due to age, because I'm old enough for us. But that doesn't mean you're going to be close to your father, and that will also be good for him. And for the rest, I understand, don't be afraid. You are our sister, and not only our sister, which is the first thing, but we love you, and I think we've shown that all the years we've lived with you, and that we live with you. And you always have the doors open, but let your superiors think, and help you, and put yourself in their hands, and above all, put yourself in the hands of God. I have a general school, again, at 10.30, but if you want, we can talk at another time. But has Sandra clarified something for you? Yes, a lot. Can I say a phrase? Yes, yes, yes. When I love you a lot, of course, I understand. And I know that you know that I convince myself more in the charla with the superiors, and in general, you have a cause in you, with you too, the tranquility. I have problems with conscience, but you also know charlas, they help me in the general conscience. Look, the phrase I wanted to say was, that you are kind. Maybe, I don't know if with you, or with Susana, with you things are good, but with you I would also like, for some reason. If we talk about colonies with no houses, there are advantages and disadvantages. I think about the future of the institution there, but I don't know, I only think about doing an experience and we come back there, here, because there is no one around here, and there, and we think. I dream of achieving common life, I'm sorry, because I think that… It all depends on what you can do, because we are now in the General College, we come from the chapter in Rome, and what we all agree on is that we can't be scattered, right? We can be in Cologne, Neuss, or Bonn, or whatever, if there are missionaries. Look at how few there are in Germany. Of course, Rebecca is out, Pilar Martín died, new vocations have not arisen for a long time. To understand it well, it is not very likely that we can found there, it is more likely that I come back, right? Of course, to have you far away, for what? To scatter you? I don't know. If in this time that you are in Nibiru, two young missionaries arise, well, that's it, there is no problem. But if there are no vocations, why? Because we are locked up in ourselves. So it is more likely, I don't have to think… I don't know, what you see with Providencia, but… Which is the last missionary who entered? I know Finn, but he is not there. Rebecca, who has been a lot of years. Since then, no one arises. Well, we have the externals, unfortunately, who are helping us, right? I don't know, I don't know if they arise, people? Yes, there are people, young people. It is not the place where we can start something. We are not closed to anything, we are open to Providencia. I am thinking, I would like to look a little… We can do… you are busy, right? We should talk… Yes. I don't know, you are in something like the big chapter, right? I don't understand this word. Do you have time for half an hour at another time, or not? Yes, of course. Yes, yes, yes, yes. At another time, we will continue talking. Besides, I would like to go to Berlin soon. I don't know when, but I would like to go soon. Yes, very well. I would like to understand what would be better. Also with the money, I have some questions, how do we do it? For this, one or two years, how do we do it, you know? Because I have to decide if it is better in this Catholic or better in this. I could not say directly, but I understand that you are busy with this. Yes, we have a meeting of the General Headquarters, right? Yes. Just as the Provincias hold provincial conferences, we have the… Yes. Well, we will continue. A big hug, Sandra. Yes. Thank you very much. See you soon. See you soon. Yes. Bye, bye. Bye, bye. Bye, bye. Bye, bye. Bye, bye.