Magical or Miserable? Why Do People Want to Marry? (ft. Kyra Stevens)

Keira Stephens discusses her reasons for wanting to get married, including having a future with children and taking care of her family. She believes that focusing on a romantic relationship and building a family is better for her than solely focusing on a career. However, she acknowledges that this may not be the case for everyone and that some people may have regrets about prioritizing their career over settling down. Keira's fears about not getting married stem from not wanting to face the world alone without support. She believes that romantic relationships provide a level of companionship that friendships cannot always fulfill. Keira thinks that people should marry out of love rather than just companionship, as love creates a stronger bond. She also believes that friendships can provide intimacy and companionship if the individuals continue to live together and maintain a close relationship. Keira thinks that constantly searching for a romantic partner can lead to more loneliness, Hi, I'm Samantha Barr, and I'm here with Keira Stephens, and we're going to be talking about marriage and societal reasons that people want to get married. So why do you want to get married? So I can have a future and a life after college and high school. So what do you mean by having a future with children? What are you looking forward to after you settle down and have kids? I am looking forward to having a home, taking care of it, taking care of my family, and just preparing them for their lives. And what do you plan on doing after they're grown? That would be like an early retirement, and I could maybe take up some odd jobs like cleaning or like helping other people, maybe some non-profit organizations, and just trying to make the world a better place instead of going to work every day just to go to work and make money. Okay. Do you think marriage is required for one's happiness? No. Do you think people would be happier focusing on career-based goals instead of like romantic-based times, like instead of looking for like a partner and instead trying to become more successful in their career? Do you think people would be more successful in that aspect, or what are your thoughts on that? I feel like for some, focusing on their careers would be better for themselves, but for me, I don't really know what I want to do for a career after school, so focusing on my romantic relationship and building a family and building for the future would be better for me. Okay. But it's not for everyone. Right. So say that you did have a career that you were really focused on. If you were in a situation in which like you would have to drop your career to settle down, like say like you got pregnant and your partner was only wanting to like settle down, would you, like do you think there'd be regrets behind that also? There could be, but me personally, I could see myself dropping my career to settle down and have a family. But if you are one that loves your career and that's what you want to do for your whole life, there could be a regret behind that. Yeah. Do you have any fears about maybe potentially like not getting married? Yes, I do actually. Why? What are your fears? I don't want to have to go out into the world by myself with no one behind me supporting me. So you're saying that like, I guess like loneliness, like no support. What about like platonic like relationships, like friendships? Like you don't think that people, you can use those kinds of people the same way that you would use like a romantic partner? Yeah. Friends are also good to have, but you don't always have them because they have lives outside of you and they have careers and have different homes. But when in a romantic relationship, when you live together, you're always together, that is the person you go to for everything. Okay. Studies have shown that people marry for companionship instead of love. What are your thoughts on that? Do you think that based on what you just said that people would need to marry in order for companionship or do you think that people should start marrying out of love more? I feel like people should start marrying out of love more because when you love that person, you aren't going to want to leave them and there's never going to be a situation where you're like, oh, I can leave them now. So, yeah, I think they should marry out of love over companionship because if you marry out of companionship, really you just could have stayed friends instead of ruining or potentially ruining something. Yeah. Going off of that, do you think again that like relationships do have to be romantic in order to fulfill the feeling of intimacy with another person? Like do you think friendships can fill that really personal, like intimate, like always being around, like say you share an apartment with like friends, you live together, like do you think that that could instead be the source of companionship that is thought out throughout like your lifetime? Yes, if you continue to live with them and you aren't that close with them, I do feel that way. Okay. Do you think that people who search out for a romantic-based kind of relationship end up more lonely? Like people who focus like all day and all night to try and find that like special someone? Yes, because when you are constantly searching, you can never or you do never settle down to let the love come to you and you're always just thinking about, oh, I'm so lonely, like how can I not be lonely anymore instead of focusing on who is around you? Okay. What are your financial like thoughts about like marriage? Like do you think that like you need like a big wedding in order to get married or would you like prefer like other people like do more of like a low-key like go get a like certificate? Like which method seems like more like effective to you? Like do you think you need a big whole like wedding or do you think that like that's just for show and that you should just go like and just get like a certificate and just like be married? So really I, that whole thing is for show. Personally, I want like a smaller wedding, but I don't want to like go privately to the courthouse and get the paper signed and have that be that. Yeah. But you don't need a big extravagant wedding. Like just like family, like close friends? Yeah. Yeah, okay. Like you don't need that big extravagant show to prove that you married someone. Perfect. Okay. Thank you so much for joining me. You are welcome. Thank you for having me. Of course. Soundstripe.