podcast john v

Jon Vance shares his personal story of struggling with addiction, hitting rock bottom, and finding redemption through a year-long treatment program. He talks about his journey from being an English professor to becoming a substance abuse counselor in a detention center. Jon emphasizes the importance of repetitive action and accountability in recovery. He also discusses the fulfillment he finds in helping others and the rawness and urgency he sees in the inmates he works with. The conversation touches on the doubts and questions one may have about their current life and the significance of seeking different perspectives and guidance from sponsors and fellowships in the recovery process. It's been five minutes, and... Hey, if you want to... Let's record longer than five minutes. I think I'm going to record until you get started. Really? You want to call Johnson? Yeah. I don't mind if you call me afterwards. Why can't I hear myself? I don't want anybody to start recording even though you haven't started. I try to keep my mouth in the same general location for the most part. Just so you don't want too much variation. Yeah. I'm going to turn this down because this toy is jumping. Jumping. There we go. Clap. You ready? Yeah, I'm ready. Hey, what's up, y'all? Welcome to Rusted Up. With us, B. Frank Whitney. Podcast Towards Progress. We got Russ here with us. Come on. And we got Mr. Jon Vance. Pleasure to be here, y'all. Look at him smiling. We're just here Sunday, man. We just want to hear Jon Vance's story. See what led him to this journey. We really just want to see his journey here in How You Stay Sober on a day-to-day basis. Jon, tell us a little bit about yourself. All right, man. Let's give it a little mini-league, really. The easiest, pithiest, sharp, concise way to sum my story up in a nutshell. I would say, man, I grew up feeling different than everybody else. And kind of used that to my advantage for a long time. Turned my weirdness into an asset. Went to grad school, became an English professor. But the whole time, I was drinking heavily, using drugs. I got progressively harder and harder drugs. Derailed my English professor career, crashed and burned. Very fortunate that I didn't do any long prison time, given some of the things that were happening on the property that I owned. Ended up completely hopeless, full of despair, misery, suffering. Just completely flamed out, as we all do, at some point or another. And I went into treatment. Shepherd's House is where I went, year-long treatment program. I had to rebuild my life from scratch. I was working at a restaurant, which was a humbling experience, having been an English professor. And then all of a sudden, I'm like, I'm running food back and forth. I'm being attacked here. I was like, oh, my gosh. What has happened to my life? You know, it was funny. And I got all these rules and regulations, like all these petty things that I thought were meaningless. You know, clean the baseboards. You know, make your bed. I'm like, what the hell, man? I'm a big picture guy. Like, I don't do these petty things. I have big, important, lofty, philosophical thoughts. Man, this is not my thing. And I was like, working at a restaurant, like the owner getting on me. Like, you know, you got to pick up the little paper things in this way and throw them away in this way. You got to be here. I was like, oh, my God. The whole thing seemed petty and inconsequential and unhelpful and beneath me. And so I realized over time, well, it's not a thing I realized by thinking. It's a thing I realized by repetitive action. A realization, you understand, came later. I was like, wow, this is the whole reason I could never do life correctly. And actually, after I graduated the treatment program, they had an opening as a counselor at their substance abuse program at Grant County Detention Center. And they're like, hey, do you want this job? You qualify. I was like, OK. I didn't know what I was walking into. I had no idea if I'd like it. But first thing I'll say about that is I've been doing that since 2021. I'm the program director. Now we have three different programs. We have a male SAP, female SAP, and a SOAR program for SAP graduates, kind of like a hybrid work treatment program within the jail. Now, tell you what, man, I feel like I've finally come home. Like I did the English professor thing. I was teaching classes at University of Louisville and also Virginia State University. And look, I didn't see it then. But looking back, there was always a hollowness there. I think my heart wasn't all the way in it. And I think it's because it wasn't my place. I tell the guys in the jail, because I teach classes there, too. I tell them. I don't know if they believe me or not. And I don't care because I know if they hang around, we'll see that it is true. Man, they are more interesting than any English class I've ever taught. Like these kids in the English 101 class, like they come for the A. They come with their, they just want to play on their phones and space out. They don't care about anything. They just want their grade. It was actually, it was one reason I felt a little tension when I was at Virginia State. One of the ways I tried to bribe myself and to keep, one of the ways I tried to keep my job, even though I didn't deserve it because I wasn't even a professor and I was just using the whole time. It's like, well, I'd show up to class and I'd be like, hey, I didn't have anything planned. I wouldn't bother to give them anything to read. I was too strung out. So I'd just walk into class, have no plan, have no idea if I even sent them a thing to read or to sign. I'd kind of walk in and be like, hey, what's up, kids? See anything cool in the news over the weekend? We kind of just talked for 10 minutes and be like, okay, you guys are good. But at the end of the semester, I'd give them all A's. Cool. So that's, well, yeah. As long as you showed up in class most of the time for the whole semester, you got an A on that. That's all you need to do, man. That was it. Anyways, trying to segue back to what I was saying is, again, there was something I couldn't connect there. When I walk into a jail, a bunch of dudes who often, although not always, very different upbringings than me, different life stories. They've done crazier stuff than me in a lot of cases, although not always. Sometimes they just end up there for other reasons. I walk in that room and I feel at home, man. There is an urgency. They write little papers. Maybe you can't, the spelling is maybe not on point, but man, there is a rawness and a realness and an urgency. It's life or death for them, man. And I've always gravitated toward the edge on some level or another. I'm fascinated by that. It's interesting, and again, I see themselves in me. And I hope over time they see me in themselves. That's sort of the idea. Yeah, that's pretty much my story, man. Yeah, that's awesome. Yeah, that's awesome. And it's funny because I've always thought about being able to do something like that, such a free position, right? But I mean, that's just all the time. You know what I mean? And it's funny that we came into this because I've been struggling the last week where it's like I question myself of what do I really want to do? Like is my life what it is today because that's what I want it to be? Or is it like am I just kind of like settling with what I got, right? And it's funny that you said it because, so my sponsor came over last night and we had like a good conversation, right? And he was like, you know, he's like that's what it says in the book, the irritable restless discontent, right? And that's what I answered. Right, so it's like he said, he said, so what is the reason, right? Like what is the reason why? And this is such a key thing, right? And it really, I'm so grateful the program had been able to have the people in the fellowship sponsorship, right? Just people to be able to like really sit you down and kind of like see what you're going through in a different perspective, right? And he said, so what's the reason why you want to leave the company? And I said, well, you know, I just really feel like it's pulling on me to be able to like, you know, give back 100% of my time, right? And he's like, okay. He said, so many people that you got, how many people do you have a job? Do you know, did you get a job where you're at? I said, there was about 11, right? He said, that's 11. He said, okay. He said, how many meetings do you go to? So you go to two meetings a week. How many times do you speak? I said, I know you speak. So there's, you know, 20 to 30 people at a meeting. Let's just say, so there's 20 more and there's another 20, right? He's like, you know, your wife's got her program, right? He started a meeting on Wednesday, right? How many people's there? So on and so forth. So, so you're still helping about a hundred, a hundred plus people a week, right? Like, he's like, how much more do you need to do? Yeah. He said, plus you got this podcast, right? Right. And it's, and it's like, so it really made me think about it. And I value the fact that like the position you're in is you was able to get in there. Right. Yeah. Yeah. You know, it takes that sponsoring. These people from the outside world to get their perspective on what we're doing, because when I'm living my day to day life, I don't see that. Yeah. Sometimes I get like narrow minded. Oh yeah. And I feel like, I feel like these programs, you know, I did a program a long time ago. It was tough back in 2013 and it was, it was tough. There wasn't a lot of passion. There was, there was, there was a lot, it's a lot different, right? They did like the shaming LEs where suspenders and, you know, write a rap song. And belittling that kind of stuff. Yeah. The Department of Corrections doesn't even allow that stuff anymore. Right. But there also wasn't somebody like yourself, you know, that's, that's like able to be, that's been there at one time, right? And fully dedicated their life. Right. And, and can see, you know, empathy and compassion. Like just to be able to be on both sides of it, like. Right. You know, hold accountability, right? Because accountability is so important. Yeah. Regardless, it really is. Nobody wants to write a ticket, right? There's a distinction between snitching and accountability. But it also makes it hard in jail, right? So it's like you're in jail. Jail, man. It's jail code, man. You know what I mean? Like, but at the same time, you know, like the fact is, if I didn't go through what I went through and put a hundred percent through my journey, like I wouldn't be there today. Right. I wouldn't be exactly where I'm at today. Yeah. And it's not about snitching or telling. Even when I was at the shepherd's house, I barely wrote tickets unless they said, well, she needs a ticket. I didn't write many either. Yeah. I don't know if I need your time writing them myself. Yeah. But I'll tell you what, man. Like, that accountability thing, you know, on the one hand, like the idea behind it, I think, is to, you know, identify an unhealthy, errant, sort of undisciplined behavior. Yeah. Because, you know, when we do get away with one little thing, we tend to try to get away with the next big thing. Yeah. Yeah. So it's just nip it in the bud, stop it where it's at. Yeah. And that can lead to, you know, if you don't nip it in the bud, it gets worse and worse. And we do what we do. It can just be like practice, you know. Oh, yeah. It's all about the rep. I tell them all the time, it's all about the rep. Yeah. Yeah. When I get that, then when something big comes up, bro, that's when I cross that. There's that line, bro. When I start holding other people accountable for something, you know, meaningful. Right. Then what that does is that puts me into a position to where I got to hold myself to I. Look at our life today, though, right? So our life is full of alcoholics that are somewhat early, a few years here and there up, you know what I'm saying? But like, we hold each other accountable. Yeah. What question for you, Russ? Let's say the question for both of y'all. We'll say, Russ. We'll say, Russ, like you called and didn't answer. You text me, didn't answer. And like, maybe, you know, like, where's Russ? 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