Sorority Member

The transcription is about an interview with a member of a sorority at Franklin and Marshall College discussing gender roles and power dynamics in the party culture. The interviewee is a senior who is involved in the sorority, club teams, and studying public health and sociology. A typical weekend for her includes catching up on work, doing chores, going out on Friday and Saturday nights (except before a game), and dedicating Sundays to homework and sorority activities. The sorority organizes parties or mixers on weekends, usually with another group, starting at 10 pm and opening up to the wider community at 11 pm. The interviewee feels safe when alcohol is in cans, is with people she knows, and has eaten before. There are no specific reasons that hold her back from attending parties, except if she doesn't know anyone or if not many people are going. She shares a negative experience where a girl was made uncomfortable at a mixer, highlighting the importance of being cautious Hello, my name is Rachel Rubins, and I'm here interviewing a member of a sorority at Franklin and Marshall College. It is November 8, 2023, and we are recording in the narrator's home. We will be discussing gender roles and the hierarchies of power in Franklin and Marshall party culture. First, introduce yourself and your involvements on campus. I'm a senior at Franklin and Marshall, and on campus I am involved in the sorority as well as the FNM club teams, and then in terms of academics, I'm a public health and sociology major. And if you feel comfortable, could you talk about your gender identity? Yes, I identify as a woman. I am a cis woman. And walk me through a typical weekend at FNM for you. For me, I don't have any classes on Fridays, so I kind of have a three-day weekend, which is really nice. So Fridays usually can be catching up on work. I have some classes that have a lot of community involvement, so sometimes I'll do that on Fridays. Usually I'll do chores on Fridays, and then I usually go out on Friday nights and Saturday nights. But because I am on a team, I won't go out 24 hours before I have a game, so that kind of also changes that. And then Sundays are usually for homework and resting and sorority stuff like chapter and other workshops we have and stuff like that. Could you walk me through some of the types of social events that sorority puts on? Do you mean like on the weekend? On the weekend. On the weekend. Yes. Okay. Usually we have one or two what we call parties or mixers a weekend. And usually we don't host them. We're invited by another group, and it's I guess pretty exclusive. It's between two groups or more, and usually they start at 10, and then at 11, they open up to the rest of the up-and-up community. But yeah, so usually we'll go. It's usually between like a frat or a sports team, and then our sorority, they try to balance gender pretty well, I think. Yeah. So could you walk me through your experience at a typical mixer when you walk in, kind of what's going on? It depends on when I get there. I have learned over the course of my almost four years here that you should never get to a mixer on time, because you will be the only, at least for me, like if it's with a guy's organization, you will be the only girl there. So usually I try to arrive at least 15 minutes after it starts, so usually that's 10, 15. And I'll kind of text or walk over with people to figure out who's already there, and then I'll usually walk over with someone or walk alone, which I know I'm not supposed to do. So I walk in, and yeah, it's usually in the beginning, sometimes there's like games being played, like cup pong or beer pong or whatever you want to call it, or stat cup, usually to kind of get the two groups or however many groups kind of intermingled. Because at the very beginning, like when you first walk in, it's very separated. It's like little groups, but very, very divided by gender. And I think to kind of get people a little bit more comfortable, they do games like that. And when you're at one of these parties, what makes you feel safe when you're there? I feel the most safe when the alcohol is in cans. Because sometimes there's like a big, what do they call it, jungle juice in a big tub. I don't love that as much because I obviously don't know how much alcohol is in it, and I also worry about other people putting things in it. I feel comfortable when I'm with people I know. I do think I kind of have a unique perspective in the sense that I am on like a predominantly male team, and usually I can text them if I have any issues, and half the time they're at these parties, so I always feel pretty comfortable around them, and I think that's an experience that I'm really lucky to have. And I know not, like most people in sororities don't feel like that. So I feel the most safe when I have like those friends around, or even just like my close friends, I feel probably the most safe. I mean also for my own personal safety, I feel the most safe when I know I've eaten before, so I try really hard to make sure that I eat before. Yeah. So is there something that holds you back from going to some parties and not others? Not really. I don't think so. I mean, historically we've had, our sorority had a problem with one specific group that we mixed with, and we didn't, like us as a sorority didn't mix with them for years after that because there was somebody that made one of our girls feel really uncomfortable, so like that was kind of a group decision. But knock on wood, I haven't had any bad experiences at mixers personally, so there's not really any reason I wouldn't go, except for if I don't know anyone going. Like if I don't have my group of girls to go with me, I probably wouldn't go alone. Or if like I know not a lot of people are going, because sometimes we'll have mixers on Thursday nights, which I can't go to anymore anyway because I practice, but like if I did and I knew not a lot of people were going, I probably wouldn't go. And do you have any notable party experiences that were either overwhelmingly negative or positive that made you notice your gender, I guess you could say? Yeah, I mean I'll talk about the one that I was just referring to, but basically we were mixing with a male organization, and there was a girl that was kind of, you know, hanging out with one of the guys, and they started kissing, and then one of the other guys started taking a video of it, and I immediately like let, I was a sophomore at this point, so I let the older girls know, because I like looked up to them a lot, and they dealt with it, but at that point, we were all a little bit shook at that point, because it was just, it was a lot, and the guy like totally denied it. He was like, I didn't do it, I didn't do it, and then they kind of started calling us some really like not so nice things, so that kind of really made me realize that like I have to, like people are always watching, and because I, because of who I identify as, like I identify as a woman, like I will always have, like people will always look at me a certain way, so I have to be really careful about how I act at parties, and that was like as awful as it was, it was a learning experience, I think, and that people are always watching, and because we are such a small school, in general, if you're with someone, even aside from like bad things happening, like if you're with someone, everybody's going to know, and it will spread across the school so quickly, especially if you're a girl, because it's people really more focused on like, oh, if there's a girl and a guy, or a girl and a girl, or whatever, a guy and a guy, usually people focus on girls more than they focus on guys, so that's another thing I feel like I've just kind of gathered through my experiences, is if you, what you do at a party, everybody will be watching. So if there was one thing you would change about the party scene at FNM, or just the social scene in general, what would it be? I mean, there's a lot of things I really like about it, I like how the school is really involved, and they know who's at every party, and like it's registered through the school, I really do like that, I have a lot of friends at other schools who are like, that's so cool, sort of like, that's so weird, but there's like a, we establish trust with the school itself, so that definitely makes me feel better, it's not like we're keeping secrets, but in terms of things I don't like, there definitely are, I mean this is kind of specific, but there are people on campus who FNM has let slip through the cracks, because in terms of sexual assault and stuff like that, so I wish that the school were a little bit, took more initiative to make sure that people like that aren't able to go to events like this, especially when there's alcohol involved, that would be something that I would change, but in terms of other things, I do think it's really annoying how a lot of male organizations, specifically sports teams, only let girls in, because they want to keep the male to female ratio the way they want it, so it's pretty disgusting when I'll be with my teammates, and my sorority sisters will be there with me, and they're like, oh, we're not taking anyone else, the door's closed, no one else can go in, and then all my sorority sisters and I are let in, and whatever guys I'm with are not, and I've seen some pretty sleazy looks from guys at the door before, because they just want to get the guys on their team some action or whatever, so that feels a little icky, so I'd change that I think, because then I feel very, I don't know, it just feels icky. I guess one, a few final questions, you have friends at different schools, what else do you think is unique about Franklin and Marshall's party culture in specific? Yeah, I accidentally said this a little early, but the fact that the school knows about all of the parties, and we register them, and you have people sign up on papers, and you make sure, there's like, we have social chairs, excuse me, that make sure that everything's all squared away, and that the school knows, and stuff like that, that's definitely a big thing, I've never had any friends who are like, oh yeah, my school does that too, I'm usually, they're usually pretty perplexed as to why we do that. I also think that the parties being exclusive until 11 and then opening up can be, that's a little bit different, and I think, I mean, I have friends at bigger schools, the parties can be pretty small, and I feel like the frats here don't have as much of a reputation, just because so many of the frats have been kicked off campus, that's like, fraternity life, it is a thing here, but it's definitely not as big as sorority life, I think other schools tend to have a little bit more parties during the daytime, like Darties, we don't really have as many of those, yeah, like bigger schools, I know, I'll see my friends are out like in the mornings, like we don't really do that here, it's more of a night thing, and usually they're Thursday, Friday, Saturday, I have friends at other schools that go all night through the week, and I just don't know how they do that, but yeah, I think that's pretty much it, and I do know that we can't, like as a sorority, we cannot throw our own parties, I don't know if other schools are like that, but I feel like they're not, I think it depends on the state, because I've been told that we, apparently, the rumor is we can't host parties, or else we're considered a brothel, but I don't actually know if that's true, that's what we're all told, but yeah, I think that's pretty much it, in terms of differences. And then I guess, just based on what you said earlier, about kind of being on a mostly male sports team, and then also being in an all-female sorority, are there any differences that really stand out to you when it comes to the social scene, and that type of thing? Like differences between the two? Yeah, like having, kind of being in both worlds. In terms of my gender? Yes, and how that kind of, how those groups interact with the social scene, I guess. I tend to, that's a really complicated question, because I feel like when I'm with the girls in my sorority, it's, they're never hosting, they're always the guest, and I think also as women, we're kind of conditioned to be a little bit more nervous, or like a little bit more polite, and things like that, and it's like we don't really, there's definitely a lot of like, oh my god, who's going to be the first one to go over and talk to the guys, like how are we going to get this game started, like whatever. I feel like there's a lot more apprehension, partially because it's nerve-wracking, but also because I feel like we're conditioned to do that as females in the sorority. I think with the guys, I tend to be able to let loose and have a lot more fun, because as I said, I feel a lot safer, but I feel like the guys are never as nervous to go talk to the girls. They're just doing their own thing, like they're just, they're like hanging out with each other, like whatever, whereas the girls are thinking a lot more about the guys, if that makes any sense. Because before I started going out with my team, because that's kind of a relatively new thing, I just remember the girls spending a lot of time thinking about, okay, we're in another environment, it's not ours, we don't feel as comfortable or safe here. Not even just because of the guys, like yeah, that's part of it, but it's also just a completely new environment. And that I don't feel at all when I'm with the guys hosting a party, because it's like, oh, this is our space, we're happy, all of our teammates are here, and yeah, like we'll play a game with the girls. Like, yeah, it's just there's a very different focus. The girls are a lot more worried about their surroundings, and the guys are just kind of like, whatever. But yeah, overall, I think there definitely are differences, for sure. In that way, I think it's the most, just like the attitude and what they're focusing on, like surroundings or let's just hang out with each other. Awesome. Well, thank you so much. Yeah, absolutely. For taking the time today. I really appreciate it. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.