Episode 3-Finding Joy Amidst Challenges with Saralynn Downing

Linda: [00:00:00] You're listening to Pure Mending, exploring the triad of happiness, health, wealth, and relationship transformation, body, mind, voice, rise. Your host here, Linda Tham. This show will serve individuals navigating personal growth, healing, and breaking the silence, especially single parents, providing inspiration, guidance, and a supportive community for resilient and fulfilling journey. Linda: As we embark on this journey, let's remember our guiding mantra. Do something new, something different. It's not just a motto. It's a call to adventure and the invitation to step into the unknown and discover the power within ourselves. In a society that sometimes stifles personal expressions, especially for older generations, taught to endure silently. Linda: This podcast breaks the chains of emotional suppressions. It's a space to voice the unspoken, to give emotion the recognition it deserves, and to empower others to do the same. Here we acknowledge the necessity of doing what had to be done in survival, but we also shed light on the importance of reclaiming one's narrative. Linda: Together we explore the transformative power of breaking personal silences. [00:01:00] Finding strength in vulnerability and building a supportive community that understands the profound impact of untold story. In the episodes to come, we'll dive deep into the various themes from breaking the silence and understanding childhood trauma to empowering through entrepreneurship and celebrating personal growth. Linda: Navigating through the shadows of personal pain and societal expectations. This podcast becomes a sanctuary for those who have walked the challenging path of trauma and silence. Sharing my journey as a survivor, I have a special guest today. Meet Saralynn. She is beyond the doubt one of the most wonderful ladies that I've met who loves and cares for people. Linda: She has a big heart and since I've met her, we've had this beautiful relationship. So it's been three years now. She is a dedicated mom and a passionate advocate for spreading joy and positivity. Having faced her share of life's challenges, she knows what it's like to battle anxiety and overcome adversity. Linda: Through her own journey, she has discovered the transformative power of finding the joy in everyday moments. As a wife and mom, she understands the importance of creating a happy and harmonious environment for her family. This experience has fueled her desire to bring joy [00:02:00] into the lives of others, especially those who may be struggling with anxiety or difficult times. Linda: Saralynn is not only a believer in the magic of everyday joy, but a creator of it as well. She designs delightful and fun products that people can enjoy and share with their loved ones. Her products are not just material possessions, but gateway to happiness and cherished memory. Excitingly, she is on the verge of launching a new program designed to nurture more joy in people's everyday life. Linda: Through her guidance and expertise, she's aimed to help others discover the beauty in simple moments and cultivate happiness from within. She believes that with the right mindset and tools, everyone can find joy in their daily routines. You'll find a dedicated and compassionate individual on a mission to make the world a brighter place. Linda: Her life's work is a testament to her firm belief that joy is all around us, waiting to be discovered by those who choose to see it. Hi, Saralynnnnnn! Saralynn: That was so, so special. It's, I'm just so, so happy to be here. Linda: Awesome. You are my first guest, so I'm excited to have you. And it's an honor [00:03:00] to get today, to take this time to get to know more of you and what you are cooking up. Saralynn: Thank you, my friend. It is, the honor is all mine, truly. Linda: All right. I remember me taking back to where I met you in the Mastermind program when we first met. Can you share a little bit about how we met? Because I just want to hear it again. Saralynn: So it's, it's funny because I remember the first time I ever saw you, you were doing a live video within the program. Saralynn: And I just instantly felt like, Oh my gosh, who is this person? I love her. I love, I could just see who you were. Just, you went through that video and you just have such a tenacity to just overcome and continue, you know, powering through just whatever is facing you. And I was like, who is this? I love her. Saralynn: And I want you to know her more. So then I kind of just feel like we just kind of kept talking and then it just kind of developed from there. Linda: Thank you. I remember we would make a post and you'd comment and I'm like, Saralynn Downing. I know I met her somewhere before this. So, you know, it's, it's one of those things that we met [00:04:00] and We met and there's, there's a reason for, from 2021, I would say, till now. Linda: Mm hmm. Saralynn: Yeah, it Saralynn: was, it was 2021, which is crazy to me, because honestly, it feels like it's not that long ago, but yeah, it was. Linda: All right, so I just have a few questions that we wanted to be able to share with our community, and it's something that you've been going through, I, I heard your, most of your life, so, my first question is, is as, as a mom how do you stay emotionally and mentally strong while managing the challenges of being a mom, dealing with anxiety, and navigating this autoimmune disease? Saralynn: So, it's kind of, here's the thing. I don't consistently stay emotionally and mentally strong. I consistently manage the emotional and mentality of the situation. Because, listen, everyone has off days, right? I'm not, I'm not immune to off days. I'm not immune to Feeling a little gloomy because that's just human nature. Saralynn: But what I've really discovered [00:05:00] is reframing the way that I think in the words that I choose to use, not only for myself, but for my children and for my spouse, it has helped impact all of us so much because instead of saying like, Oh, this is happening to me. I can look at it in a way of saying like, okay, what can I learn from what is happening right now in my life? Saralynn: And how can I build upon that to. Not only get stronger, but maybe create something different. And so, you know, anxiety is super, it's super hard. And it's kind of an An invisible part of life that unless someone really knows that you have it, a lot of people are kind of good at hiding it. I know, at least I try to hide it so I don't bother others. Saralynn: That's what I used to do all the time. And it's similar to an autoimmune disease. You know, at times people might not realize that you have an autoimmune disease. In fact, I often have a lot of people tell me, Oh my gosh, I never knew that you had this [00:06:00] disease. And so that in itself. Anxiety and autoimmune disease can be super hard because it's not like you have a broken arm where you have a cast and people can physically see that. Saralynn: And a lot of times it's hard because someone might not understand why you are acting a certain way or maybe you can't eat a certain food, but unless they are communicating with you and asking the questions or unless you are just divulging this information to them about why you're choosing to act this way, no one really knows. Saralynn: Communication has been huge for my family. And, you know, it's, I try to be an open book with my family, with my children, especially, and my husband, of course, because if they don't know what I'm going through at the time, they won't be able to learn from that as well, because my children may one day maybe end up marrying someone that has a chronic illness or anxiety, and this will help them understand. Saralynn: You know, how to better [00:07:00] be a better caretaker, or if, you know, they end up with similar situations themselves, they will have more tools in their toolbox to be able to, you know, kind of progress and move forward. Linda: I love that. I love how you share that, you know, what can I learn, what is happening in my life and to create something different. Linda: And then, and with an anxiety and autoimmune disease, you know, it's, I understand how hard it can be physically to see this because I see that in some of my friends around me. I know too, and it really affects them, and that thing where, you know, some people do say, why can't you eat a certain thing? Why do you feel a certain way? Saralynn: Yeah, and you know, it can be hard too, because you don't want to be this, for lack of better words, this sword thumb sticking up, right? So you, we try our best to kind of blend in, and for instance, myself, I cannot eat eggs and rice. Those are two very not very kind food items for my particular body. But when we go out to a restaurant, I don't just say, well, I can't have this, and I can't have that, because I don't want to draw it into myself, so I [00:08:00] specifically order things that I know I can. Saralynn: So like, if I go out to breakfast with a friend, it's a little hard, because most breakfast foods are based around egg contents, like, most of it is egg. Or it has a, you know, French toast that's coated in egg or something like that. So I always just order a side dish and then maybe another side dish. So I'll have like some fruits and some sausage or I'll have, you know, it's just certain things like that. Saralynn: So it's another reason why, you know, not everyone does see that as well because we don't necessarily want to have it visible all the time because we are just working through it every day. And so this is just our normal. Linda: I had two eggs this morning. I know. So if I were to have breakfast with you, my friend, I would not eat eggs just because you couldn't. Linda: That's, that's how I would be. I'd be like, you know, I I'll, I'll, I'll be the same today. Saralynn: No, Saralynn: that's totally okay. Because you know, the thing is, I haven't had eggs in eight years. So [00:09:00] I'm just used to it now. Right? Like I used to eat, I used to eat eggs every morning. I mean, my goodness, I would eat a whole pot of rice pilaf if I could, you know, but I didn't know at the time that's what was actually kind of destroying my body. Linda: And that's hard. I mean, for our culture, rice is one of the the foods that we cannot live and eat without. Like some people do eat like bowls of rice because that's how they feel full and fulfilled. Yeah. Saralynn: Well, and it's hard to you because rice is, it's an economical choice for, right? diet, right? So you can, you can cook some chicken and then fill the bottom of a bowl with rice and have, you know, a chicken rice bowl. Saralynn: And that's not going to cost you a ton of money. So that's also kind of, you know, it's a downside. Linda: Yeah. For the people who are listening, what, no rice? All right. Well, I think that, you know, most importantly, like communicating this to your children and educating them as well on what autoimmune disease is. Linda: And [00:10:00] if you could share with us and the people who are listening, what is autoimmune disease? Saralynn: In general, an autoimmune disease is a result of when your immune system is overactive and it attacks and damages your body's own tissues. My particular autoimmune disease. I'm super lucky. I got a rare one. Saralynn: Insert sarcasm there. Mine is called dermatomyositis, and it attacks my skin and muscles. It's inflammation of skin and muscles. It actually started out with my skin. I would find that I would have rashes on my hands. My nail beds were always really inflamed. And then it spread to kind of my collarbone area, the upper back, and then my eyelid, and then my elbows. Saralynn: And it was very itchy, painful, I couldn't put my hands in my pocket, I couldn't play cars with my, at the time, one year old, almost one year old, because anything that would hit my [00:11:00] hands, it would be really painful. Those little things that I would take for granted before, like putting my hand in my purse to get my money out, and it's the Zipper touched my hand. Saralynn: It was like I touched it to lava. Then the muscles started acting up. I wasn't able to really lift my hands up and keep my arms up to wash my hair for very long. I got really good at washing my hair super, super fast. I wouldn't, I would just curl my hair up as fast as I could because standing there to blow dry it just, there's no way, there's no way. Saralynn: Eventually, you know, being able to drive and hold my arms up on the steering wheel was, It was just such the weirdest thing and at first we were thinking well, I just need to work out You know, it was like why am I so weak? I need to work out more then it just kind of got to be obvious like okay What there's something else at play here and I've gone to the doctor before and she told me to take a claritin For the rashes because she said well [00:12:00] We all get rashes, just take a Claritin. Saralynn: And that was my first initial, first initial, I guess, reaction to, okay, I need to be an advocate for myself. Because I know that this is not something that Claritin is going to help me with. And so, I really fought, and I really pushed for more referrals to see, at that time, a dermatologist. I love that dermatologist to this day, because when I finally got to see him, it took about two months for them to send over the referral. Saralynn: When I finally got to see him, he, it was a gift because he knew exactly what I had, which was quite fascinating because it is a rare disease, but he had never seen it before. And he called in a colleague to come and kind of verify it as well. Immediately, they started me on a high dosage of medication. It was so nice because even though I didn't want to have an autoimmune disease, right? Saralynn: Like no one wishes for that. At least I had an answer [00:13:00] to all of these things that were happening. And then our insurance switched over. And there was a lull. And I did not have the care or the medications. My throat muscles started to shut down. While it was hard enough to lift the fork to my mouth in order to eat because my arm muscles were shutting down, my throat muscles started shutting down. Saralynn: I would choke often on my food. So then at that point, we're like, this is getting ridiculous. Like we get this figured out. I had a few different biopsies. I had a surgery on my leg, then we kind of got a game plan. Then from there I found functional medicine as well. I am now in remission. Linda: Awesome. Thank you for sharing that. Linda: When you explain all that, that reminds me of every single thing that my friend is going through. And I think she's been going through this for almost 10 years. Didn't get diagnosed until about five years ago. Linda: And she'd be like, I don't, I cannot get up or my muscles hurt. And you know, of course, me being a [00:14:00] friend, like what's going on? Linda: Are you okay? You should go see a doctor or. Maybe you drank too much today. Yeah. You know, like, anything can affect your body. Saralynn: Autoimmune diseases are really hard to diagnose, because there are, there are so many different intervening factors to so many different diseases. And that's why I will forever be grateful to the dermatologist that, I don't know how or why he knew that day, but it was actually Valentine's Day that year that he diagnosed me. Saralynn: And I will never have that day again. More love for a doctor than I do that doctor. So the first one was the one that told me, you know, to take a Claritin and that was not working for me. And so then I went to the dermatologist and then I went to a rheumatologist. My rheumatologist is who I saw the majority of the time. Saralynn: At one point I was on nine different prescriptions. One of them is, I don't like saying the word because of the way it made me feel, but it's methotrexate. It's an early form of chemo. It was daily, or not daily, I'm sorry, [00:15:00] weekly self injections. That was really hard because it made me feel terrible as well. Saralynn: And so I ended up getting this mind block after, I'd say about, I think it was about a year. I couldn't do it anymore, so my husband had to inject me, which was also hard for him, just because he felt, you know, that he was hurting me. He wasn't. It was just, you know, there was a lot and, but that's when I was like, okay, I have a choice. Saralynn: I have a choice here. I can continue on doing this or while I am still doing this, I can look for alternative possibilities. And that's when I found functional medicine and I found two doctors online, took their advice and I followed their protocols within three months. I started seeing a huge change. Saralynn: And then it was about 9 months after I started the functional medicine protocol that I was officially no longer on any of the medications and [00:16:00] I was in remission. Yay! Linda: That's awesome. Yeah, I think you just answered my question. If it's not treated or you don't know what it is, I mean, how can that affect other people in their daily lives? Linda: I can only imagine because I see it. I've seen it. Saralynn: Yeah, yeah. So, in fact, my rheumatologist said that it's not a problem. He told me that I was very fortunate and I know that I'm very fortunate, but that I was diagnosed so early because he said by the time patients with my disease get sick, they're in a wheelchair. Linda: Oh, wow. I'll definitely share this podcast with her and along, I think with my other friends who are going through this and I've, you know, like lately I've felt like I'm not able to swallow and I'm just thinking, do I have that? I mean, I don't want to think that. When someone's sharing something that I may have it, but it's good because you know, it gives us more knowledge and education around what autoimmune disease is and because it's not, it's rare. Linda: And I've only heard it recently because I, you know, my friend got diagnosed and with you [00:17:00] personally. So that's why I wanted to bring you on and share with us like, you know, how it's like living with this and with your family and how you were able to how this impacted you and your family in everyday life and know the strategies that you use and how to strengthen your bond. Linda: You know, thank you for sharing that today. Saralynn: Yeah, well, and you know, had I not gone through what I've gone through, I wouldn't know what I know now. I wouldn't have been able to help the people that I have been able to help. At the time, I could have sat there in pity, you know, wallowing in that. However, I did have, you know, I did have the moments of like, why is this happening to me? Saralynn: This isn't fair, that sort of thing, because I think that's just human nature. I also knew that I couldn't just sit in that moment and stay there. I knew that I needed to be More proactive of what can I do to help this and also possibly improve it Then I started vlogging because I needed that outlet. I didn't know, you know, if anyone would read it I needed the outlet for [00:18:00] me in order to just talk about it. Saralynn: Tell my story Pretty soon, it was so amazing that I started getting messages from, you know, I'm in the United States and I would get messages from people in London or, you know, just all over the world, which was really, really cool because, you know, I was able to reach out and help other people with finding alternative methods as well. Saralynn: I'm absolutely not saying that conventional medicine is unnecessary, because it absolutely is it helped save my life. There is room for both, I think, conventional and functional, because they both serve a very strong purpose. I think a lot of people maybe don't know that, or they don't look into it until you're faced with that position, and sometimes, you know, maybe not even then, you just, you don't, the unknown is scary, so you just kind of sit where you are. Saralynn: very much. But if we are able to look past the fear, there's beautiful things in, in the future and in the destination that we're heading if we [00:19:00] can just push past the fear, really find the joy, like, you know, we were talking about, find those, those silver linings even in the darkness. Linda: I love that, especially the founder of Joy Mentors. Linda: Yeah, I love how you said, you know, until you're faced with something, the unknown is scary. And I feel that too. So that's, you know, for myself, telling our story and getting it out there into the world is big, right? It's happening and I still, you know, I myself wanted to share a lot, but I still get, I still stop myself. Linda: Like what is a lot. And, but now sometimes I feel, okay, today's the day. So I just pick the day that I'm ready to share a story. And that way, you know, we don't know who we're reaching out to and who's out there listening and how we can help others. I need to do the blogging thing. I actually, I actually asked you about that, but I, I blogged through, I guess a different, a different way. Linda: Do you still have that blog up for others to [00:20:00] access actually? Saralynn: Yeah, it's actually, it's mylifewithdm. wordpress. com. I can give you the link for that too. Linda: Well, love it. Yeah, we'll put that in, in the notes so that people can be able to access it too and be able to follow you and your journey and Saralynn: Yeah, truth be told, I haven't done anything with the blog in so long because I did go into remission and then I felt guilt because I went into remission while others have not. Saralynn: So there's So many web that this whole journey we've Linda: yeah, I can I can see that you connecting that to where you're going now So it's that you're in remission what happens after Saralynn: so after after remission Linda: Yes, Saralynn: so it's honestly So this is partly of where my anxiety stemmed from I was officially diagnosed with Illness Anxiety Disorder. Saralynn: This is partly why. Just because I'm in remission, it does not mean it won't ever come back. Because it lives dormantly within me. Any little twinge of [00:21:00] my muscles, or any itch I get on my hands, I am anxious that it is my autoimmune disease kind of rearing its ugly head again. That is, that has been the biggest part of my remission story, is Much better now. Saralynn: I still deal with my anxiety every day. I will say that it is a fear of mine. That is the biggest part of my remission story is the anxiety of when is it coming back. Linda: Hmm. Kind of like PTSD. Yeah. I'm sorry. I hope you will never ever have to. I do too, my friend. With all that, so I guess what my next question would be, you know, how do you maintain that positive mindset? Linda: And what advice would you give to others going through the similar experiences? I know you shared some. I think one of them was, you know, training your brain to rephrase. Saralynn: Yes. Yeah, that's, it's, that is really big. That is really big. And it's something that [00:22:00] I teach my children because I would have loved to have learned that, a child as well, because if we can, you know, train our brains to not go in the negative direction, but put a more positive spin on it. Saralynn: And I'm not, I'm not talking about toxic positivity, right? I'm not walking around with You know, a bunch of balloons strung to my back with a big smile on my face and handing out balloons all day, you know, like, it's more of being able to find the, the ray of light, like, if you picture, if you're in a dark room and everything looks really, really dark, and then someone says, well, this is just so dark. Saralynn: There's no way we can see. And then you grab a flashlight, and you turn on the flashlight, that light will pierce the darkness every single time that that flashlight turns on. The light is stronger than the darkness in that dark room. And so if you can find your light, you can navigate yourself through the darkness. Saralynn: This is what I want my children [00:23:00] growing up knowing, because, you know, I feel that it's not even just in our own country here, but I think it's worldwide that we have. This mentality of, well, this is just dark and bleak. This is where we're at. There's nowhere we can go. How can we move forward? But no one's turning on the flashlight. Saralynn: You got to turn on the flashlight to navigate through the dark. And so this is just something, you know, I want really, honestly, like our youth to know there is ways to navigate. And it's just something that's just one of the biggest things that we do here in our family. It's not, you know, life is not perfect and it never will be. Saralynn: It doesn't have to be dark and gloomy all the time either. You know, there's many techniques that I use. Well, deep breathing techniques are probably my number one favorite techniques that I use because breathing is also something we take for granted. Because if you think about it, we don't actually [00:24:00] think about it. Saralynn: We just breathe. Linda: Breathe, yeah. Saralynn: And, but a lot of times, if you, if you feel yourself in a moment of, a moment of panic or just some, a stressful moment. If you kind of remove yourself from that moment exactly, and you look at how you're breathing, you'll notice that your breathing is most likely very short, and, and so if you can stop, just even give yourself two minutes, and if you stop, and you breathe in, and you hold that, you do a deep breath, Hold it then breathe out a long breath out and you hold it and you do a cycle of that It's like a whole body reset Surviving a panic attack it has helped me. Saralynn: It's actually I've had a friend call me She was having a panic attack getting onto an airplane and she was like, I don't know what to do And so I just [00:25:00] talked her through her breathing exercises And guess what? She was able to get on the plane because we talked about the reality of the situation and what was she really scared about. Saralynn: It wasn't going to happen. So, it's just one of those things where deep breathing is just so important. It would do us all a lot of good to just really breathe. Because if we can breathe, Then we feed our body oxygen and what feeds our brain? I Linda: love that deep breathing technique. I was doing the breathing exercise and then stopped to, I actually stopped breathing for a second just to listen. Linda: But anybody, if you have a panic attack, call Saralynn Dowling. She'll help you through that. Message her, email her. Saralynn: Yeah, it was, I would say that. And then also being mindful of the present moment. Because even if you're going through something really yucky in that present moment, it's not going to last.[00:26:00] Saralynn: It never lasts. Right? So say you have a case of the Mondays, right? Oh yeah. Well, tomorrow's Tuesday. You know, it, the next day we'll be there. There's a quote that I found, I don't know, a while ago. And it says, if you're going to spend time. Worrying about the worst case scenario, it's only fair to spend time considering the best case scenario and also the most likely scenario. Saralynn: Because when we worry and we're anxious, our mind automatically goes to the worrying about the worst case scenario. And I don't care what it is that you're worrying about, it's always going to be the worst case scenario. If we can Train our brain to think, well, actually, instead of it being this doom and gloom, worst case scenario, what is the best case scenario? Saralynn: What can you picture happening in this moment that is actually the most beautiful? I read a statistic recently, and it was like 98 percent of the [00:27:00] time, It doesn't happen. Linda: Ah. Saralynn: And so, the rest of, we're, we're worrying about like a 2%. And don't quote me exactly on that, but you know what I'm saying? Yeah. Like, we're, we're focused on this small percentage of a possibility, an iota of a possibility that is not a good scenario. Linda: Not going to happen. Saralynn: Right. But what about the 98 percent that it usually ends up to be? That's a huge percentage, but we're focused on such a small part of it. We're cheating ourselves out of joy. Linda: We're cheating ourselves out of joy. We don't, I mean, I felt like, when you share that, I've been thinking about those things every single day, like, that's part of my life, like, what if this, what if that, and this happens, what if that doesn't happen? Linda: But focusing on when it will happen. Love it. So I know a few things that we've talked before and I've always, you know, admire how you're able to continue to educate and teach your homeschooling. So what led you to the decision to homeschool your children? And how [00:28:00] does that align with your family's values and goals? Saralynn: It's actually because my oldest son, he went to kindergarten and public school, and we loved it. We loved the teacher, you know, there was, we, of course, ran into the bullying. There's always some of that. But for the most part, we really loved it. There was a little boy in his class at the time that went into homeschooling and I was walking my son home and he said, mom, I don't think I ever want to be homeschooled and I said, baby, I don't ever picture homeschooling you. Saralynn: Now look at us about a year later. We ended up homeschooling because, and I'll be completely honest, the pandemic. Is what led us to homeschool because it was such an unstable Part of our life right during those times no one knew which way was up and so we felt that we had to take this situation into our own hands because We knew that I had the ability and the time to put forth into homeschooling. Saralynn: We needed the [00:29:00] consistency. And at the time, the public school that we were, that he would have been going to, they were going two days a week for like three hours each day. So we were just like, it just wasn't what he needed. So then we looked into the homeschooling. And the thing about homeschooling is it's different. Saralynn: Everyone has a different story. Everyone has a different homeschooling journey. Our journey looks different than my friend who homeschools, you know, in the, another part of town, because they homeschool differently. We homeschool through, it's a, it's a homeschooling charter, and we have such an amazing community that oftentimes I think of it, maybe not so much as we're a homeschooling family, we're more of a community schooling family. Saralynn: My children are not even home for three days out of the week, because we're with other community members that are doing the same sort of thing. And so they're all learning together. My 10 year old, he's learning American Sign Language right now. They have [00:30:00] amazing, I have a 10 year old and a 6 year old, they have amazing knife skills because of all of the cooking classes. Saralynn: You know, they do their own laundry. They know how to do all of these things that, unfortunately, have been taken out of the public schooling for so long. Just the normal life skills. So we do that, but they also learn, of course, the core basics of what everyone needs to know to be properly educated. If there was anyone looking into homeschooling, it does take dedication and time. Saralynn: I do know, there's a lot of families that I know that parents work full time, and it is a lot for them, I'm not gonna lie. It, you know, you, you have to find your groove, but a lot of the ones that do work full time, they, their children also go to these community learning centers that we go to, and that does help alleviate some of that. Saralynn: While they, they are not there for, you know, a typical school day, they're there, my kids are there from 10 to 3, [00:31:00] one day a week, and to one on another, and then 9. 30 to noon on another. The difference is, is that they get so much more one on one education versus, you know, one teacher to 30 students. 20, 30, yeah. Saralynn: And so my kids are just able to, we're really able to work with them more individually and play on their strengths. I know a lot of times, like for myself, when I was in elementary school, but your girl could not figure out the multiplication memorization. I could not do it. It was like my brain would shut off, did not. Saralynn: I did not love it, but it was embarrassing for me. I did not like doing those time tests. And, you know, I I was super strong in other areas. This is something that we definitely are building on the skill sets that they're not strong in. But we're also focusing on their strength to give them that encouragement and that, that feeling of, I can do this and I can do this really well. Saralynn: And [00:32:00] these other things that I don't know so well, I can still do them and I'm working at getting better. Instead of just being like, Nope, you got an F, do better. And so I think that it's helping them become stronger in their character as well. Then the other two days, we, we do homeschool just here at home. Saralynn: And then we do field trips. And honestly, I will say the biggest reward of homeschooling these last Three or four years has been the time, the time that we have together has been irreplaceable. And while there has been a lot of tears, the first year, there was a lot of tears from all of us. Change is a change. Saralynn: But once we got in our groove and realized like we don't have to look like everyone else, we don't have to do things a certain way we can do what works best for us. Then it was like the light bulb turned on and we're like, Oh my gosh, this is incredible. And we can make learning lessons out of anything that we do. Saralynn: Very long story short, [00:33:00] sorry about that. We Linda: I can listen to you all day, Zelle. Just your, your voice and how you share things. I can just listen to you all day. Saralynn: Thank you. My husband says the same thing, but then he says I just put him to sleep. So I hope you're not sleeping. Linda: No, I'm not yet. Saralynn: It's just been our personal choice to really kind of take control of the situation that was ahead of us back then. During the, you know, heightened peak of the pandemic, and then we did give our kids the option of okay, what, how do you feel now that, you know, it was two years later, I think, from when we started, they both just want to keep going the way we're going because they love it so much because they're, they have such amazing friends, the sports that they play but I think with homeschooling, the biggest myth is that There's such a lack of socialization, and I guess in a way, that myth used to be a fact because, you know, [00:34:00] 30, maybe even 20 years ago plus, was more like that, because homeschooling now, in 2024, looks different than it did even in the year 2000, because there is so many resources. Saralynn: And there's so many what we call enrichment classes there is just so much out there that I think, you know, unless you really are in that moment, like I was talking about with the autoimmunity and the anxiety, unless you're in it, you don't actually understand it. So, and that's what, that's why I originally told my son years ago that, baby, I don't think I'll ever homeschool you. Saralynn: Well, that was because I wasn't in it and I didn't understand it. And, you know, I had this really amazing moment to where there was a, a mom of one of the other boys, my son plays sports with, and she just didn't get it. She's just, she thought we were weird because we're homeschoolers and, [00:35:00] you know, we might be weird, maybe, maybe we are, that's okay. Saralynn: This is, if this is what weird is, then I'm all for weird. And I Saralynn: just really explained it to her. And she just, again, it was like that light bulb of like, Oh my gosh, I had no idea. I had no idea that that's what you guys did. She's like, that is really incredible. And you know, not every homeschooling family has. Saralynn: I've known some that the parents don't put in enough effort and their Children do suffer from that. So it really is a family adventure, you could say. And also, if you are homeschooling or looking into it, I would highly suggest looking into the community aspect, because that is where you will find such a strong socialization, educational, life skill building, well rounded, plus childhood experience, that it's just been really rewarding for all of us. Linda: I love that. Thank you. Finding your light, like you [00:36:00] said. Moving forward, navigating through the dark, especially through the pandemic, when we all were And, you know, this is something new, something different and, you know, how to navigate that. If I were to do things differently, and if it was a pandemic and my kids were young, I would love to do the homeschooling. Linda: It may take a lot of patience and like how you mentioned, it was scary, a lot of crying. I'm sure I would have done a lot of crying. I was that kid who, when growing up, you know, in a that culture where we learned math. And if we didn't get it right, we'd get smacked with a ruler. So, and that hurt. And that's probably more painful physically than it is knowing that you just can't do it. Linda: You know, I didn't have, I couldn't think that. I couldn't think, oh, I, I don't like this. I can't do this. I was taught that I need to do it or else I guess, you know, my hand moved. Right. Saralynn: Yeah, and it still remains with you because you're still talking about it. Linda: Yeah, because the image was there, you know, yeah, it still resides somewhere where I can share it now. Linda: And that's one of the things like is the disadvantages of a single [00:37:00] parent is, you know, being or having to go to work and to be able to provide for your family and your children and finding a sitter. If it was during the pandemic, remote job, homeschooling, and things will maybe have been different from my way my kids grow up because it's, you know the difference of going into school, which could be a plus also and being taught at home that time is the only thing that we didn't have together, together being, you know with mom and kids and watching them grow and not having to going through their own things in life and struggles and just challenges because, you know, even if you go to school. Linda: Like, when I went to school, there was a culture shock, like, oh, you know, this is how it's like at school. And then, feeling, you know, what is my identity? Like, I go to school, I have to do this or that. And then, being accepted, you know, society accepts you or not. And then, those are the things that we grow up and learn in that society. Linda: Whereas, if you're, if they're staying home, you know, weird or not, I'm weird. And I, I, I went to school. So, being, being able [00:38:00] to be at home and have my mom talk, teaching me then, even math, I look at it now like, okay, she's not teaching me and she that time that she spent with me is only because she wanted me to be strong in math, but I took it as you know, my mom is, you know, why is she hurting me, you know, that can say, you know, I, I thank her for being able to push me and making me better. Linda: And that's what I see with you and your kids is being able to do all these activities and, you know, lunchtime. Learning how to do laundry, like those things, the kids nowadays, they don't know how to, or they go to school, they come home, what do they want to do? Play, go to the computer, you know, games. I just want to acknowledge you and that you're a wonderful mom. Linda: You're doing soccer with your kids and find that time that, you know, that cannot be taken away and your kids are going to always remember those moments. Saralynn: Well, thank you so much. Yeah, I, I also want to say to you, you know, I. I understand how fortunate I am that I am able to work from home and homeschool my kids. Saralynn: And I do know that that's not a reality for everyone. [00:39:00] That they, maybe, obviously can't do exactly what I'm doing. You know, my husband does have the, he is the breadwinner, if you will. Like, he is the one that goes, leaves the house every day, and he works hard for us. And we do our best to just kind of live. Saralynn: Modestly, and because this is what we want. This is, we want this path for our family. It's not easy, right? Because we don't have big, wonderful things materialistically. What we do have is so much love and warmth in our little home. You know, we being a stay at home entrepreneur also has taught my children a whole nother option of growing up and you don't have to just get a nine to five job. Saralynn: They can. Already look at like, oh, how could I make money while working online or you know? There's there's so many just different possibilities. That's what we really [00:40:00] want for them We don't want them to feel stuck because I remember when I was graduating high school it's like well, what are you gonna do? Saralynn: What are you gonna do with your life? Well, how how am I supposed to know that? you know, I went to all my english classes and Algebra and geometry and all that kind of stuff But I don't know what I want to do with my life, because nothing was ever really presented to me. Sure, we had like a career stay, where we'd go to a college and look at different careers, but how am I supposed to know that? Saralynn: And my kids now, they're faced with the opportunity to, you know, do welding. They're learning ASL, and they're learning cooking classes. They just did a paleontology learning, can't even think of the word right now unit study. You know, we didn't do that sort of stuff. We just kind of did the, well, this is what you do at this hour. Saralynn: You do math, you do reading, you do, you know, all those sorts of things, which obviously we need that, but we need more diversity in what interests them. What can they do? Do they want to be a carpenter? Do they want to be a [00:41:00] salesman? Do they want to be an electrician? Do they want to dive into the world of AI? Saralynn: I don't know. And I would be happy with whatever they decide to do, but I want them to be able to have the ability. To actually have an idea, they don't have to know when they graduate, but they need to have an idea of what they actually like and what interests them, and that's what we're working towards right now. Linda: That's awesome. I like that they're able to find what interests them. I did have the same thing where my mom asked me, what do you want to do with your life? And I, and she wanted me to go straight to college. I'm like, why? Nothing was really presented in front of me other than I wanted to help people. And how and who and it was that's when I decided to do chiropractic But then I started a family and being a mom for my daughter was the number one thing. Linda: She would not let me work. She would, she had her separation anxiety. You know, things that we don't think about that exist is why are they crying? Right. What do they need? So [00:42:00] it's, that's what I decided that to continue my career later when things are not so chaotic. And even now I'm still thinking, you know, what is it that I want to be when I grow up? Linda: But that is coming along and you know, I'm doing podcasts now and I get to speak with, you know, my friend Saralynn here today. So it's just awesome how things change from when I was growing up to now and how things has changed with, with homeschooling. Like I did not know that homeschooling existed. Linda: Until more so when I moved to Oregon, but you are a great teacher and I can see you're doing so much and being able to share with the community in all areas of health, relationship, and also, you know, turning your freedom into strengths. Tell us a little bit about what you're doing now. Saralynn: Yes, so I am super excited. Saralynn: I have an Instagram account. It's at this mom's view. The reason why I changed. To at this mom's view from the joy mentor is because I do want to be [00:43:00] able to Essentially mentor or just help guide other other parents with my viewpoint, right? Not everyone's view is going to be the same and that's okay That's what makes the world go around is our differences But with this mom's view i'm able to focus on the things that really matter the most to me, which is homeschooling the autoimmunity and really honestly finding You The joy this is something that i'm just super passionate about because of what i have gone through in my life I see How much of a difference it has made in my own children in order to again rephrase? Saralynn: Terminology, you know, just kind of shift our mindsets, focus on different techniques. At This Mom's View, I'm really focusing on just kind of being able to uplift, encourage, because that's just something that I, I just want to be for people. To just be that person if, if you need someone who understands or someone to listen, I just want to be that person. Saralynn: [00:44:00] Because even, even if you feel like you're in a room, a dark room all by yourself, you don't have to be. Because someone could be with you and they could be sitting right next to you, but you don't know it until you turn that light on. You have to be willing to, to flip the switch in order to find those people that are willing to go and walk alongside you. Saralynn: And so this is just something that I'm just super excited about. I'm gonna be launching pretty soon. It's a 30 days to uncovering joy. I'm really, really excited about it. Is going to take us on just a 30 day adventure of just Really simple exercises just different things that we can do to find joy every day You know, I I have many Unfortunately, I have many people that I know and love right now who are going through difficult times. Saralynn: I have cancer diagnosis Diagnoses I have you know autoimmune friends. I have friends that have lost loved one. In [00:45:00] fact, I have a friend He's the most, he's the most incredible human I think I've ever met. Because he lost his son the way that he has been able to, you know, travel through the muddy waters of his grief. Saralynn: And turn it into something so beautiful is just, it's just awe inspiring. I see these things, like my uncle, he broke his neck when I was two. I'm 42 now. So he's been a quadriplegic for 40 years. The things that he has done. are incredible. He, he chose to not sit in that darkness and he is now, I mean, it's just incredible what he's done. Saralynn: And so if he can do the things that he's been able to do in his life with being a quadriplegic, then I absolutely can do what I want with all four of my limbs being in control. Yes. Linda: Wow. Saralynn: So yeah, I'm just really excited and I'm really excited to bring 30 days of uncovering joy to the world. [00:46:00] I just want to help people. Linda: Love it. So how can people sign up for this 30 days to uncovering joy adventure with mom's view, Saralynn Downey. Saralynn: Yeah. So you can go to, at this. Momsview, it's actually at this underscore moms underscore view underscore because this momsview was taken. Thanks Instagram So you can go there and you'll be able to it's not launched quite yet But it will be soon and then I also will give you my website. Saralynn: You'll be able to find all of that there Linda: I'm so excited for you Can you tell when I want you to share? I was like, I don't have words. I just want you to say it and share with us. I know you're just as eager to and this underscore moms underscore view underscore and you'll be sharing your website. I'll put that all also in the bottom of the notes section of this podcast so you can follow Saralynn Downing and when she's ready to launch. Linda: And so I'm excited. Yeah, me too. Thank you. The world needs a lot more joy and I find joy talking to you all the time. You always make [00:47:00] me feel better when I'm down and when we're, we're doing well, you make me feel better. We always have something to laugh and talk about and share. Saralynn: The feeling is mutual, my friend. Linda: Well, this is great. So this will be going into my next podcast of sharing experiences from mom's view and when you can't be at home and working all hours sacrificing that emotional balance. I just have one last question for you, Saralynn My signature question for all my guests is and thank you so much for being my first guest on our show up here mending podcast. Linda: What empowering message or piece of advice would you like to leave with our listeners as they navigate their own journey, facing challenges and rising above them? Saralynn: I would say self care is not selfish. And when I say self care, that means taking care of you in the moments. Thank you for joining us. And I will say it again and again, self care is not selfish because you can't pour into others if your cup is empty, right? Saralynn: So I would [00:48:00] say, listen to your body, be an advocate for yourself. If at first you don't get the answers you need, just continue moving forward. In fact, just never stop moving forward because even after you have answers, there's always learning to be done. It truly never stops. One of the biggest, like, techniques that I would say is the breathing technique and communication. Saralynn: I don't know, you know, I say communication as a technique because I don't think we use communication enough. And communication is key to not only marriage, but parenting and really life itself. People are not mind readers. So, no one can help you if you don't speak up and speak your truth, you know, just navigate your own way. Saralynn: That is just, you have, you, it is you, it is your life, it is your purpose. As long as you are being true to yourself, then you will find your way. And one of my favorite sayings, the struggle is real, but so is the solution. Even if the solution isn't what you maybe think it should look like. It exists. This is just something that I just [00:49:00] want you to remember is that the struggle is real, but so is the solution. Linda: I will definitely remember that. Thank you, Saralynn. Self care is not selfish. Well, thank you, Saralynn, a dedicated and compassionate individual on a mission to make the world a brighter place. Thank you for being on this show today. Thank you Saralynn: so much for having me. It was truly a joy. Linda: Having walked through challenges, you may feel a strong empathy for others facing similar struggles. Linda: Your passion comes from wanting to be a source of understanding and support. A passion for making a positive impact on your community and beyond. Creating that space where individuals feel seen, heard, and supported in their journey. The desire to break the generational cycles and contribute to positive change for future generations may drive your passion to address family struggles. Linda: What can I help people with? How can I impact people today? What can I teach to others? Stay tuned for episode four. Let's talk about struggles faced by generation Americans. By sharing your personal experiences, you provide a platform for others to relate, help break the silence surrounding fostering an open conversation. Linda: In my current business, I've merged Pure [00:50:00] Mending with L& B outdoor nature, offering holistic healing through outdoor adventures and journaling. Growing up with a single mother taught me about challenges like financial struggles and emotional tolls. Yet, it also showed me resilience and strength. Now I'm passionate about empowering others facing similar journey through journaling and outdoor adventures. Linda: We aim to provide a space for individuals to connect with nature and themselves. So join us as we pack our hope and our dreams in a bag to carry into the future. Gathering locally and hoping to grow a community worldwide. Let's transform our lives and create a brighter future, one adventure at a time. Linda: And like Darlene mentioned, find your light, my friend. Move forward and take a deep breath and use a deep breath technique that she shared. Thank you. Through authentic stories, practical insights, and a supportive community, we aim to inspire, guide, and break the silence together, fostering personal wellbeing, and exploring the profound question of how entrepreneurship shapes and uplifts the life of the community. Linda: Subscribe now to Peer Mending and be a part of this empowering narrative.