Hey, I'm home. Oh, nothing. Did some shopping, got a new knife. Normal stuff. So, what's for dinner? Hmm, cool. Well, I'm just gonna play some video games right now, but would you mind getting a head start on dinner? I'm so hungry. Great. Oh, thank fuck, I can finally take this stupid bra off. Piece of shit corporate office with their stupid dress code. Dickheads. I'm so hungry. What? Why did you buy a laser pointer? A what? How so? Hey, stop pointing that at me.
I am not a cat. Cats hate you because you're a dick. I don't hate you, I'm your girlfriend. I never insult you. I didn't call you a dick, why did I do that? Oh, yeah. Hmm, doesn't count. I decide. Nope, it doesn't count. Oh, I hate you in the same way cats hate you. What's that supposed to mean? Is this some sorta depoetry thing? Should I go get you a little book and quills? Okay, so playful insults mean I'm a cat? Cats don't love you deep down.
You're just delusional and unable to pick up on the fact that they think you suck, and then you cling on to them for dear life because you're desperate for companionship. Huh, maybe I am a cat. Sparta. Besides, babe, you don't even have a cat. You just go to some random street cat once every three weeks. How the fuck would you know what cats are like? I am nothing like a cat. Canned tuna tastes amazing to anyone, babe, and just because you caught me eating a can over the sink at 3 AM does not mean I'm gonna pretend it's not delicious.
Scratch marks are pretty on your skin. Especially if they're mine. Okay, so your evidence is fish and scratches? Wow, you're such an expert on feline biology, babe. You should turn this into your career. Look, is dinner ready yet? I don't feel like getting into cross-reference cat behavior analysis to figure out whether I'm secretly three tabbies in a trench coat. Well then fuck off and come back when you can feed me. Since you want to pretend I'm a cat so bad.
Fuck, does he know? He can't know. Did he open the bag? No, surely not. But what if he did? Oh god, do I really have to fess up? Oh god, that is so annoying. Fuck. Oh, no, nothing. I just died, babe. Ignore me. Okay, clearly can't stay focused, so I guess we're doing this. Did you look into my bag? Did you? No, nothing. Anyways, I have nothing to hide. No, I don't have anything to tell you.
So stop asking me annoying questions. Okay, so when you brought up the cat thing... Nevermind. No, I said nevermind. Don't get so close to me. I will stab you with my new knife. No, I can show you later. There's no need to go through my bag. I am not being weird or suspicious. You are just getting in my head and... Stop, stop holding my face. I know how to look at you. Did you just kiss my nose? You really do act like I'm a cat.
No, you were not aiming for my lips. Fuck off. There's no way you didn't look inside my bag. Ugh, stop being so nosy. I know I keep bringing it up, but that's only because you keep doing weird stuff. And it's all very confusing for me right now, so can we just not talk about it? Because talking about stuff sucks. No, I mean I like talking to you, I just don't like... Can you just burn dinner so we can tragically die in a house fire? I can't do this.
It's too weird. Because you're being all nice and sweet and genuine. I hate it. Be normal. No, you can hug me, I guess. No, I won't scratch. Can you go back to being supportive? Oh my god. Cunt. Okay, so when you... How am I even going to say this without it being weird? Nah, this shit's weird, dude. You so are going to judge me for this. Don't even... Yes, okay, fine, shut up. I know you're really sweet and kind deep down, that's why you're my boyfriend.
Stop being annoying. So, when you said I was kinda like a cat... I don't know. I... What? No, I am not a furry. Fuck you for assuming that. No, there's nothing wrong with being a furry, but I'm not a fucking fur- Look, you're distracting me from making my point here, okay? I don't need you to fucking fill in the blanks right now, Mr. Detective. You know what, maybe this is a mistake. Never mind, just forget I said anything and I'll help you finish making dinner.
Yes, I know, I really don't want to do this. Was suggesting the help of making dinner too obvious of a giveaway? Okay, look, despite the fact that you're a stupid fucking idiot, you're sorta almost smart sometimes, so... Well, because I'm not good at expressing myself or talking about this sort of stuff. Like, me stuff. You know I don't like it. It's lame. And you can figure it out. So, how about... I keep being unable to talk about my feelings or myself, and you do whatever I say.
Deal? Deal. Cool. Yes, you did. Just now. You just agreed to it. So, I'm gonna pick up my bag and accidentally spill the contents of it all over the floor, and you're gonna use your brain, and if you fuck this up, I'll just break up with you and find someone who can get a hint, okay? Great, let's do it, let's do it. Oh, and I'm probably gonna act like you're wrong either way, but there's always the safe word anyways.
That was your first and only hint, okay? Time for me to pick up my bag and go to the bedroom. Oh, fuck. Uh... What? No, no, those are a gift from a friend. Or a friend. They're from a friend. I'm just holding on to them. Yeah. Um, I'm a grown-ass woman, not some dweeby e-girl that does lingerie cosplays on her OnlyFans. That's ridiculous. Why the fuck would I wear cat ears? What does that even add? Oh, that's just a choker.
Uh, no. That's just a normal choker. It's not a leash, that's just extra fabric so you can readjust it or something. I'm pretty sure of it. Or maybe it's just, like, some sort of manufacturing error. But I can just cut it off, no big deal. And this? It's not a bell, it's just, like, a little ball attachment for, like, decoration or something. Yeah, yeah, look, I'll put it on. No, I'm not putting the fucking cat ears on, I'm not a cat.
It's not a collar, it's a choker, you freak. Hey, stop tickling the bell attachment. I swear to God, I'm biting your finger off. Okay, no, wait, wait, wait, babe, it's actually for a friend, I swear. I didn't buy that lingerie. I know there's, like, a cat head cutout in the top and a paw pattern on the panties, but... Um... I'm not putting it on. Baby, come on. You can't just take my clothes off. Do I want to be your...
No, no, of course not. I'm telling you I'm not a cat. I don't act like a cat. I don't want to be treated like a cat, or a cat girl, or whatever the fuck. No, no, no, no, my answer is no. You've never dressed me up manually like this before. It's weird. No, not bad weird, per se. Just weird. Your hands are so strong, but so gentle. Now I'm fine, my heart's racing, because you look so good, okay? And don't be a smartass, or, like, laugh at me, or something, I swear to God.
I'm glad you think I'm pretty like this, but I swear, this lingerie was not meant for me, and now we're gonna have to clean it, and it's gonna be a hassle. On my knees? No. No, I can't. Hey, don't grab the leash, please? Please? I'm not gonna crawl to you on all fours. I have more self-respect than that. Are you really using a laser pointer to get me to come over? God, you are such an asshole.
That is so disrespectful. Okay, okay, okay, okay, I'll do it, I'll do it, I'm sorry. Stop, stop pulling on the leash. It's not that I like how easy I submit to you if you yank that chain, and I'm gonna choke you to death when I- Okay, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, sir, I'm sorry. So, you want me to take these off you, right? What? Why not? Kitties don't use their hands? For the final time, I am not a cat.
Ugh, you're not gonna listen to me, are you? Fine, I don't need my hands to take your pants off anyways. You will underestimate me. And... And all that, with just my pee? Are... Are you proud of me, sir? No, come on, no more gimmicks. I just wanna suck your dick, it looks so good, please. I don't wanna lap away at it like a good little kitty, I just wanna- You're so rough with me, be nice to me.
Ah, you taste so good. Did you work out today? Ah, no, it's nice, baby. Yes, kitties love the scent of their owner. Why are you holding my face like that? You're petting me? I'm not a cat, stop it. No, I won't meow for you, what is wrong with you? You really expect me to go along with this corny-ass shit? Just for some dick? How low do you think I'm willing to go for your cock? As if I don't have any self-respect or something.
Wait, wait, wait, what? No, no, that's not what I said, you don't have to stop. Babe, please, you don't have to stop. I can keep licking, please? Hey, baby, please. Hmm, baby. If I meow, can I keep on sucking your cock? Please? Well, that's just blatantly manipulative. You're really trying to manipulate and gaslight me into fulfilling this fantasy that you think I have, but don't. And I've been trying to tell you that it's not gonna- Stop shoving my face into your crotch, you're so mean.
But, you promise I can suck it? Oh, fine. Meow. Oh, this is so humiliating. I fucking hate you. Meow. Meow. Oh, thank fuck. Meow. Meow. Meow. Meow. Meow. Meow. Meow. Meow. Meow. Meow. Meow. Meow. Meow. Meow. Meow. Meow. Meow. Meow. Meow. Meow. Meow. Meow. Meow. Meow. Meow. Meow. Meow. Meow. But you said I could suck! Meow. Meow. Meow. Meow. Meow. Meow. Meow. Meow. Meow. Meow. Meow. Meow. Meow. Meow. Meow. Meow. Meow. Meow. Meow. Meow. Meow. Meow.
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