PODCAST1pt2

Four students from Bob Jones University discuss the transition from obeying parents to honoring them as adults. They believe that as you become more independent, the parent-child relationship changes into a mentorship and friendship. They emphasize the importance of honoring parents, as it is also obeying God. The students share their personal experiences and the different ways they navigate this transition while still showing respect and love for their parents. Welcome back. This is kind of a part two, I guess, from the first part for the Creation, New Creation class. My name is Michael Eber, once again, and my partner. My name is Megan Romizer, and then I have my AGL here and my GL. I'm Lauren Schottman. And I'm Brynne Roubottam. And we are all, four of us are Bob Jones University students, kind of on the same topic. We might switch topics here, but we just kind of want a continualization of our last topic of kind of honoring our fathers and mothers, and kind of what that looks like from a Biblical standpoint. What are y'all's opinions on that? What do you think that it changes from obeying your parents to honoring your parents? When do you not really have to obey them and their specific rules, and you can kind of choose for yourself what you want to do and your convictions? And I'll fill you in like last time. We kind of hit that changing point, I guess, from going from, I guess, someone living in your parents' house all the time as a kid, and then how that changes as you become an adult and stuff, and how you can still honor and serve and, I guess, respect your parents with love and stuff, and how that changes as you're all in college and are having to go through that. Well, I think definitely, like you mentioned, just when you hit that point of becoming more of an adult, like around 18 or whatever, like the relationship does change a lot. I think from more of an authority for the parents, rather, it's not so much of an authority, it's more of a mentor and a friend, if you have Christian parents, they can really have like a huge role in your life in a different way. So I think that definitely honoring would be more important than necessarily obeying them in that area, but obviously, if you are honoring them, then you're going to be obeying God, which is obviously the most important part. So yeah, I think probably around that age, I would say. What about you, Brynn? I probably would explore on that, I think. Yeah, like you hit the age where you're moving out, going to college, and like, I guess I would say I'm still somewhat independent on my parents, like I go back home in the summer and live with them, like they pay some of my bills for me still. So I think that there's a little more, I do have to be a little more conscious of like being obedient to them right now still, just because I think I am still a little bit. Dependent on them, but as time goes on in college, I kind of have developed some different convictions for my parents, but I'm very careful to honor those when I'm back home and just make sure, like, it's still honoring God, it's not like I sinned or anything. But yeah, I think it, like she said, it really moved into like a mentorship type of thing. Like my mom, like we're good friends now. And yeah, she's still my mom. She still tells me hard things. I don't want to hear. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, 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no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, It puts me at peace sometimes, especially in college when I'm stressed out over classes, and I just think about, this really is this simple if that makes sense. We are simple creatures, simple beings in a complex world. I think that's that idea of God giving us that peace of reassurance as we read the Word, and that's why I think prayer and reading the Bible just kind of give us that peace of, I am with you, I am your rock, I am your salvation, I am. Those are some words that really speak. That's actually really cool. I'm not saying that you're wrong in any way, but I heard a message one time, and he was like, you often hear that Christians are cheap because we're dumb and we wander, and then Jesus comes and finds us. He leaves the 99 to come find us. But he was like, let me give you a different perspective. Yes, they do stress sometimes, but mostly they're smart because they know the shepherd's voice. They can identify who their Lord is. He was like, don't think of it, don't degrade yourself too much, because you do have value because God loves you. But basically developing that relationship with God to the point that I can understand that He's speaking to me, and I can feel the Holy Spirit speaking through the Word, being able to have that kind of relationship is also what makes us cheap in recognizing His voice. That's good, yeah. I like that. So what was the other topic we were thinking about? Really shortly, we were going to talk about basically how society views gender roles now, and if you think men, the patriarchy is still a thing, or maybe men are oppressed now by the women and the feminists. We could talk about that real, real fast. So as a fellow myself, I believe that men are not oppressed when it comes to Christianity. I think it's the opposite when it comes to Christianity, actually. I think the patriarchy is more set in Christianity. I think once you leave Christianity, men are definitely oppressed, I think, just because I think there's silence when it comes to them becoming open about their feelings and how they feel about stuff. I think people's emotions are very important. I know you'll see in the Bible and stuff, it'll say, be careful about your emotions because it will lead you to sin. And I believe that's very true. But I think in the process of not sinning with your emotions, I think you need to understand them. And I think that's where guys don't understand their emotions. Even guys who are Christians don't understand their emotions because there's this masculine urge thrown on men at young ages and stuff that they need to be all of this and all that. And I think that's where... I'm talking about, I guess, the non-Christian man, that they need to be something, I guess, more than what they are. And they get told by, I guess, feminists that they need to shut up, they need to not talk about their feelings, that their feelings don't matter. And I think there's that idea that the oppressed are now oppressing, if that makes sense, in a way. So, yeah, I guess that's kind of where I stand with that a little bit. And I think that there's just that idea that men are oppressed. And I believe that to be true. I mean, if you look at, statistically speaking, most of the suicides are men. Most people who don't reach out for help are men. Most people who... Yeah. If you just look at those numbers, and I know people are like, well, those numbers are... Well, I think a lot has to do with absent fathers, I think, and a lot of people who are not taught how to handle emotions. Because I think there's this get-tough-or-die mentality that was created. Honestly, sometimes I think, I don't mean to sound bold when I say this, but in some ways, I think feminists was correct, but I think they went too far. Oh, yeah, yeah. Because I think there's the idea that back in the 80s, even, women were very much oppressed. And there's that mentality, like, get in the kitchen kind of thing. And I think that's where... Sandwich. Yeah, and I think it's the opposite in Christianity. I think where the amount of times I'm here at college, I hear guys making these jokes about that. And I think it's something that we shouldn't necessarily joke about just because... I mean, I think there's that idea. When you're with friends and you're in tight-knit, and you understand what it is and isn't a joke between you guys, maybe you can banter a little bit. But I think there's just that idea that you don't do it in front of certain people at certain times, or time to and time not to. But I think women are a little walked over a little bit. And you guys don't know this, but we had a chapel service about dating and relationships and stuff like that the other day, which I think was incredible because he didn't make it seem like men are better than women. And I think a lot of people think that Christianity is about that, that men are better. Because they hear that men are the leaders of the household, and that's not at all what that means. It's not what you think when you think better. The leader isn't necessarily better in any way. A leader is just a person that is the one held accountable. And I think that's what people don't understand is he's going to be the one that's going to be accountable, he's going to protect. And people are like, well, women can't protect themselves. True, very true. I've seen my mother, and I think she can take a lot of men in the fistfight. And I think she'd win. I think she'd win. She's an incredible woman. And I respect her. And I think it's where the idea that the greater man respects. And I think that is just, and this is going to kind of loop back to honoring the father and mother a little bit, is I think as far as a masculine world, and I think some areas are over-masculated and others are not masculated enough when it comes to men in society. If you have that idea of, I guess, the secular world and their ideologies and the Christian world trying to combat that, I think that's where we're like, I mean, if you think about it too, back in the 50s, old Christian men are beating their wives, to be honest. And that's not very biblically accurate, but then you're like, well, she didn't do what I asked her to, and I'm the leader of the household. And you don't realize how many times that has happened and stuff, but I guess it depends upon what culture you come from. Are men, are they oppressed? Are they not oppressed? I think feelings and emotions are silenced in men, and that's bottom line. I agree with that, because just so much of today's culture is like you were saying, you're a man, you need to be quiet, take it like a man, but then at the same time, feminists are trying to become men themselves, and then it gets all blurred, and it's just because nobody has that standard of the Bible. And yet, even I sometimes read the Bible and I'll be like, wow, just somebody that didn't grow up with this knowledge and explained in certain ways, it definitely looks like the Bible's sexist. But I heard it from my pastor's wife. She said it really well. She used two cups. She used like a turtle cup, like a travel mug, and then she used like fine china. And she was like, this represents men and women. She's like, both of them are good. It just depends on what occasion. Like, you're not going to put out this travel mug when, who knows, the king of England comes over. They're made for different purposes, and you have to remember that. And God has made us for different purposes. Neither of them is more important. If anything, the woman is supposed to be, or in this case, the fine china, she's placed above, in a sense, because she's supposed to be cared for, and it's easier to break. That cup's easier to break. So women should be cherished like the Bible says. They should be not put on a pedestal. They should be respected in a different way that men should be respected. And I thought that was really interesting. But yeah, back to this thing of men kind of being told to shut up in society, even in so many passages, especially the Psalms, you see these men, like David, Asaph, so many are crying out to God because of their enemies, or because of their situation, because of their sin. Like, they clearly express emotions. And that's one thing that I think a lot of modernized men, even they don't really themselves understand how toxic and how painful and hurtful it can be to keep those emotions inside. I guess I would say that I agree. There's a lot of people being told to shut up, like men being told in the suicide numbers and all. That's very sad. But I think you are, in this Western society, this doesn't really go for Arab nations or anything, but you're kind of as oppressed as you want to be. And I think it comes down to, it is discouraging to have these things being told to you all the time, but I think it comes down to, individually, going to the ultimate example of a man, and that's Jesus Christ, and who He was. If we just read the Gospels and just saw who Jesus was, we would be seeing who God was, and He's the ultimate example of a man. And I think that's the best figure to be looking for, for men. So I would encourage men to just, Christian men, obviously, to be seeking out who Jesus is and having your life after Him. And not just men, women too. It's just the ultimate figure of all that is good. But yeah, it's definitely, it's a little sad the way society has treated men in the last 20 years, just this weird push. But ultimately, it does come down to individually making sure each person does, you know, tries to better themselves. But ultimately, I think, it comes down to, like, Andrew Tate. He's, you know, he became this, like, this Alaskan guy because society pushed him in a way to where he went to the extreme, and they were talking about that, the worldview, the dating worldview they had. And that's, like, the wrong way to go. And I think that's what's happening, like, now that we have such effeminate men, they're going in the extreme opposite, and that's, like, really dangerous. I think my biggest problem with men in today's society is we have two extremes in men, and that's not being a man, pretty much, and then we have I am greater than you kind of mentality. And when it comes to, like, you mentioned Andrew Tate, I think that's really interesting, because that's a whole can of beans right there. I'm just going to surf a little bit. Some of the things I think he says about getting your mentality straight, honestly, I agree with, because he's, like, pick yourself out of bed, stop playing around. Go do something physical, and that will make you feel, like, and I'm not going to lie, doing some, like, physical activity is, like, the biggest cure in all of, like, doing something that you can feel accomplished in and not drag yourself along is some of the best medication out there, I guess, in a way. But then his opinion on women, I think, is, like, destroying someone. He's very objectifying of women, but, like, they're objects, and I just... And you see that everywhere you go in almost every culture where people objectify women, and that's where I think, in some cases, women are oppressed, but then, I guess, what you said is it's all about culture and where you come from. I pulled up Ephesians 5, 22, and I'm going to kind of read a little bit here. Wives, subject yourselves to your own husbands as to the Lord. And this first verse is taken out of context so many times, and I think that is incredibly wrong, because that first verse can be scary just alone, because he goes on to say, For the husband is the head of that wife, as Christ is also the head of the church, he himself being the Savior of the body. But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything. Now, here's the second half where a lot of Christian men leave off, because now he's talking to the husbands. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave himself up for her. And that's kind of that self-sacrificing love there. And so that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the words, that he might present to himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she would be holy and blameless. So husbands also ought to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself, for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church, because we are parts of his body. For the reason a man shall leave his father and his mother and be joined to his wife, the two shall become one flesh. And I think that the two words, one flesh, I think is one thing that we leave out way too much, because it is a partnership. They read that first day, like, well, I submit to your husbands. And you're like, oh, he's above me. Yeah. No, he's not above you. You're one flesh. And one flesh, there's not part of the flesh that's above. It says you love your wife as Christ loved the church, and I think that's really compassionate. I think that's very amazing. It says, this mystery is grave, but I am speaking with reference to Christ and the church. Nevertheless, for you individually, each husband is to love his own wife the same as himself, and the wife must see that she respects her husband. And I think that's where there's a lot of, love is, I think, a very specific and a very broad word, because there's a lot of things that fall under love. If you love someone, you respect someone. If you love someone, you care for someone. If you love someone, you're being generous, courteous, kind. I think there's a lot of, I guess, fruits of the spirit that come under that. And I feel like a lot of people think that certain verses there are out of context. Yeah, that's true. But just, like, taking it back to, like, Christ, you know, that's, like, the ultimate role model in those situations, and just, like, the golden rule of loving others, you know, that's the greatest commandment, is to love others and to love God. And I think if people just had a more, a mindset more individualistic like that, does that make sense? Putting God at the center of everything. Oh, yeah, for sure. And I think that's where, like, the basis of relationships are, honestly, especially in college when you're starting to date or something like that. I think where you find a relationship with God in between, I think, is very important. And, I guess, same with your parents. If you have that, kind of, that basis of God, I think it's kind of hard, though, when you have, I guess, you're being born, and you don't really know much about God. Yeah. But, like, and I think as you mature, though, that's where your parents parent you, I guess. Yeah. To kind of grow you and give you that idea of, hey, there's this really cool entity called God. He's really divine. He's really awesome. He's really... He's personal. Yeah, he's personal. He's a real pal. And that's real. Like, he's got your back. I mean, one of my favorite things to say when people are discouraged is, God's got us. And, like, that's all I can say sometimes because I don't really have anything else to add. God has got us. And if that's not encouragement, just saying those couple words, I mean, keep it simple. And I think that's when humans best understand things is just God has got us. He wants everything for good. That's what his glory says. Indeed. Well, I think that's going to about sum it up for this. And I hope you guys got something out of this. And take care. We thought this would be a one part, but it's a two part. Thank you for listening. Yeah, thanks for tuning in and thanks for listening. Later.