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The podcast episode titled "When the Strong One Breaks" by Mary D'Alba emphasizes the struggles of being the strong, caregiver figure for others while neglecting self-care. Mary shares her personal experience of feeling overwhelmed by caregiving responsibilities and external demands, leading to emotional exhaustion and the realization that it's okay to prioritize oneself. She discusses the importance of setting boundaries, acknowledging one's own needs, and allowing oneself to rest and heal. The episode serves as a reminder that it's crucial to prioritize self-care and seek support when feeling overwhelmed. Welcome to Mystic Threads, Stories and Spells, a podcast for the sacred, the shadowy, and the deeply human. I'm your host, Mary D'Alba, and today I'm coming to you with something personal. Something raw. Something that I found in the middle of tears and clutter and caregiving and exhaustion. This episode is called When the Strong One Breaks. If you've ever been the one who holds it all together, who keeps showing up, who holds space for everyone else's pain, only to realize that you have no space left for yourself, this is for you. If you're the helper, the healer, the one who never gets to fall apart, I want you to know you are allowed to break. And it's not because you're weak, but because you've carried too much for too long. Let's talk about that identity, the strong one, the caregiver, the emotionally grounded one, the one who really makes it look easy, the one who says, I'm fine, even when you're unraveling inside. People assume the strong one doesn't need help, that you don't need checking in on, that you're just built to survive whatever life throws at you. But the truth really is, being the strong one is often a trauma response. For me, it's a lifetime of holding it all together, of tending to others, especially my mom, of showing up even when I was falling apart. And I know I'm not alone. Some of you listening are caring so much and have been for so long. It feels like this is just who you are now. The thing is, no one sees what it costs you. They don't see the piles in your home, the bone deep fatigue, the moments when your magic feels drained, your voice is silenced, and your spirit is exhausted. Your spirit is exhausted. They just keep asking you for more, more support, more advice, more energy, until one day you break. So let me tell you what broke me. My mom, who I care for full time, many of you know this, finally realized that she could no longer live alone. And that moment shattered something in me. Not because I was surprised, I'd known this for a while, but because hearing it made everything feel real. It was real. It was final. It was heavy. I sleep in the living room to stay close to her. I clean, I cook, I track meds, and I try to keep her safe. And on top of that, right now I'm taking an accelerated biology class, running multiple businesses, volunteering, and trying to clean out the physical clutter from years of depression. That would be enough for anyone to crack. But here's what sent me over the edge. I had friends and clients asking me to hold their heartbreak where I was barely holding on. People spiraling out all over the place over loneliness, or magic not happening, or, you know, things not turning out the way that they want, and I'm drowning in real daily survival. I felt abandoned, unseen, used, and so very, very tired. And for a moment, I didn't want to do any of it anymore. I didn't want school, not spiritual work, not caregiving, not healing. I just wanted to walk away from everything. But instead, I sat in the truth of it, I let myself cry, and I told someone what I was really feeling. For me, that was the first step back. So what now? How do you move forward when the weight is too much? For me, it started with rewriting my plan for the week, not a productivity list, a survival list, one that centers me and not just what I can do for others. I actually created a document called the Crisis Week Plan, and it breaks everything down into what's critical, what's important if I have energy, and what can wait, and that's it. No perfection, no pressure, just the truth. And then I set boundaries, emotional ones. I stopped holding space for other people's complaints and chaos. I gave myself permission to say, right now, I'm in recovery. I can't hold emotional space unless I'm somehow doing it for work or being paid for it. My energy right now is just sacred. And I tuned into my own magic, and not the glittery kind, the real stuff. The kind that you feel in your bones saying to you, you get to exist too. You get tired, and you get to heal. I recorded this podcast as a spell of truth, a reclamation, a way to say, I'm not giving up, and I'm going to find my way back. Not to the old version of me, but to someone more whole, someone who puts herself back into the circle of care. If you're listening to this, and you feel it in your bones, if you've been the strong one for too long, if you're surrounded by people, but you just feel completely alone, let me say this. You are not broken. You are not abandoned. You're not failing. You're awakening. And you're not weak. You are worthy of rest. This week, give yourself permission to drop the ball, to ask for help, to leave the dishes, to scream in the car, to be angry, to feel it all. You deserve what you give to everyone else. And I promise you, you are sacred. You are magic. Even now. Especially now. If this episode resonated, I would love to hear more from you. You can email me or find me online at marydalva.com. If you want to receive my daily soul letter or support my work, the links are in the show notes. Thank you for listening to Mystic Threads. We are the threads of the same cloth, weaving magic and meaning through even the hardest days. And remember, until next time, you are magic.