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I originally thought your name was Drungle because I'd only heard it announced at open mics and I was like this Drungle guy Drungle, Drungle. It's just like it's like a Dr. Steve Brule kind of like announced like if you were to announce you Drungle's uh It's funny because it doesn't sound much off from like how you actually say it. Drungle, it's like Who was expecting that many syllables? Drungle is weird. It's like, uh I don't even know because I've always like it has a u in there as a sneaky u so it's like What's the origin? Is it like british? Um, british name. I think it is irish. I've looked it up and I think it's irish, but That doesn't really make sense to me But someone did bring this to my attention the other night that it could definitely be british Because of the british irish like you know It's like the british people were like you're gonna take my last name We we know what we're talking about here. I don't yeah The british irish thing yeah, aren't they friends I don't know if they're friends or no, uh, they did a lot of raping I think right yeah, historically You know, but you know, that's a fun fact about um It's a fun fact about any italian person that has like blue eyes and uh And like like blonde or reddish hair Like you see that a lot and that just means that their ancestors were raped and pillaged by like vikings Oh damn certain parts of uh, italy. I forget that happens I feel like I like syllables like just in case I need to I'm gonna open this up. Yeah. Yeah Oh, it's a good it's a good place to keep your debit card It's just loosely in a book. It's because I don't have a wallet. Oh, man. I stopped carrying a wallet Yeah, I immediately um Realized that it's not helping I I I tried to go with like everything being on like apple pay and shit and then I just stopped Remembering to bring my wallet places. Yeah Yeah, that's where exactly where i'm at where I still don't have a wallet and I just just use apple pay and like yeah, if I need to like and then now I found out that chase I don't even need to fucking um Have my card to to get cash out so I don't fucking bring my card anywhere yeah, but now chase is all weird like they're all closing like at like eight o'clock and Really? Yeah, like you can't get into a chase to get like an atm Like if you have like the like unless you have an atm card like you can go to an atm machine but like they close I think it's because people were sleeping inside of them. Oh, like if you just have an atm card from chase Well, no, because I know it won't let you in. I know that you can use your phone to get in I don't know. I haven't tried to use it past. Uh A certain time that was a cool asmr thing just now. Oh Are we doing asmr too? Should we get a couple should we order mcdonald's? Yeah. Hold on. Here we go Oh god, I can't oh it does sound really bad. Ah, I like the crisscross applesauce. It shows you're getting comfortable. Let's get comfortable. Yeah, you know funny story about the crisscross applesauce it the fact that I do it it It bothers me still because it it was a very important part of my integration into society As a as a kid the first first In the first time I met society It was pre pre-k, right? I go, um in my first day And I walk into the classroom and the teacher's like oh matthew go join the other children on the rug, you know and Sit indian style as we called it back then. We called it indian style Uh, it's unfortunate that indian style still hasn't been converted into like a sexual position actually, but anyway No, I bet you that has to be I bet you there's something that no one wants to go there It would have to be like something real like you were like, have you seen uh, Have you seen the kama suger? Oh, yeah. Yeah. I mean the sequel was better So anyway, I walked into pre-k the first day and uh They say sit down on the rug and one of these kids he starts saying to me Oh, yeah, he's all gung-ho like hey Let me show you how to sit indian style and he's moving his legs around showing me how to sit and he's like see Like this and I just looked at him. I was like no Like this and I put my legs out just straight out And just like sat there and the teacher came over and she's like hey You you got to sit indian style And i'm like no like this and I continue to put my feet straight out And I and I think I did that like no like this routine with her for like at least three times And then she's like Get up and sit in the thinking chair. That's time. I'm here dude the first Time I entered society day one Yeah, like the rules of the world Yeah, like the rules of the world Like immediately were coming back to bite me like it Society is a vivid memory and I remember sitting in the thinking chair and being like Boy this sucks man, you know, that is kind of like the first like I challenged The norms or whatever. I don't know. I'm not like a courageous kid or anything, but But it it was probably natural for you to just be like like no i'm sitting like that I feel comfortable like this like go fuck yourself. Like why are you telling me to do something that's been normal for me to do? Your whole you know, so like until then yeah, because you're what fucking five at the time four or five I was like four probably yeah, damn, dude, and you know, what else is funny about that class Is that class I had to repeat that class at the end of the year? Because the teacher said I was in timeout too much and also one of the major things which I think is hilarious Is that I didn't color in the lines It was like i'm like it did my mom has it like i'm like a like a like a kid review like like time card of like your Damn, like you're yeah, it says like did not color in the lines and I I was like, I remember I would actively like draw over the pictures or like colored things like blue and they're like you can't make a elephant blue and i'm like Who gives it? Yeah, but I used to draw pictures over. I was like, can I just get a piece of paper? because I you know, I don't like to draw as a kid and I was like, can I just get a piece of paper and they're like Coloring the lines and I failed pre-k Which is mostly just like your introduction to society when uh, uh, what year was that? Yeah. What year is that? Probably 89 89 would be my guess if not, you know Damn, dude, so maybe I don't know. Well, yeah, because I was born in 85. So it's probably 89 More or less. Yeah 89 90 damn, dude There's a different time like was the teacher like stern with you. Oh, yeah. She was the one she was like a cunt. Oh, yeah Mrs. Gordon, who's the gordon? Gordon gordon gordon. Oh gordon sounds like a villain dude Yeah, her first name is like bertha or agnes or like something yeah no, dude, um I uh, I remember kindergarten because uh, 9 11 happened when I was in kindergarten. Yeah, dude. Oh, whoa So like whoa, so I that was my first like oh, yeah shit's going down and I just remember like um being like I like I was like, what the fuck is the big I was like planes hit a building cool I'm in recess dog like or not even recess, but I was like, I don't like this is disrupting what i'm normally doing So why like should I give a fuck? but I do remember the change in tone and I don't remember if we got out earlier or not, but I just remember, uh there's like a change and then we uh, yeah kindergarten dude kindergarten Kindergarten. Yeah How like september so it's pretty early into the year. No, because okay. So in uh, iowa I was at the time Uh the year the school year starts in uh, august like august you were in advanced kindergarten classes no, no, no, I was uh Yeah, yeah Yeah, I was a pretty smart fucking kid actually, uh no, uh yeah, so, uh 9 11 was the first thing that I remember That way and then my kindergarten class my I remember my kindergarten teacher was really nice. I really loved her But I remember my friend brian um He freaked out on the teacher dude Like I remember he like beat the fuck out of the teacher like I was like, she was gonna get out of school no, it was like, uh, um He was like just throwing a temper tantrum because she was like, all right We have to pick up the blocks and like do nap time or whatever the fuck we're gonna do a pre-k Pre uh, no, no kindergarten. Well, it's sorry. Yeah Pre-k is before kindergarten. Yeah, I I think I I don't think I went to preschool, but I definitely had like a uh, I remember miss mimi I was talking with my mom about this, but miss mimi was like the uh older black lady that fucking Raised me for like fucking three years You mean like like a nanny? Kinda. Yeah. Yeah. It was like a daycare daycare. Yeah um, but uh So we go to her house every day, but then yeah 9 11, uh was like a month into school and then I just remember yeah, my my um Friend byron brian or byron or something. I think it was brian, but he fucking she was just like, uh, you like Pick up the blocks or whatever and he just like fucking foot. He like was kicking the on 9 11 No, no, no, I think just like I don't know why I was like i'm trying to you want to hear my kindergarten story No, i'm like i'm like wait, so this kid beat up the teacher in kindergarten on 9 11 on 9 11 he's like like just tell it that way because Those things were unrelated at all. I was just talking about kindergarten completely. Oh, you were like, you know the old days It was like reminiscing on like this is my kindergarten experience Like, you know, like when you're in a conversation with someone you just feel like you have to like say the same thing That they like shared with you. Yeah, like i've learned that like you don't always have to do that because sometimes Your story may be like really like not something people want to hear especially if it's a bad story my story sometimes is like Oh, I have a story about um That but I I can't I shouldn't tell them this story I've i've been holding my stories back for a while now. Yeah. Yeah Yeah, i've learned it to like Not always tell the same story check that out how to tell a story You literally got like a book that says how to tell a story. Yeah, uh that uh I don't know. I Is it a book about how to tell a story? Yeah, it's like I guess it's like the people that do. Um God, I can't remember what it's called, but it's like a big like storytelling like Uh collective if you will But they throw like pop-up things where they just like have a person come in They sell tell like a 10 to 12 minute story and it's like But it's i'm only probably like 20 pages in so it seems interesting. But it's uh, oh, uh, the monarch group I think is what it's called. There's a butterfly on there. Yeah. Yeah, so, um, i'm unfamiliar with the there, uh, I I haven't even seen it. I just Thought it was an interesting title and I was like, oh fuck it. Um I'll try and read it. But uh No, uh, I don't know like for telling stories like I think um There are I have noticed that sometimes I tell stories that aren't really related to like The content for sure they're like not even I don't know the content but like no no the situation situation on the on hand Yeah, yeah what we're talking about at the exact moment. Yeah. Yeah um sometimes you want to stir it up though, sometimes you want to take something and just just move it away from that like sometimes if people are having a really boring conversation i'll say something really weird and Now everyone's talking about like yeah something like pigeons or something. Yeah. Oh, dude. Yeah So we were talking about pigeons before we started recording uh So you have a album? I have a christmas album. Okay Um It was kind of something that I always wanted to do and have like a christmas album and somewhere around the year 2016 I saw a white pigeon in bryant park on christmas eve and I wrote that in like a little notebook and like I I mean I I know it's like that year because I anyway, so I I had this idea of making a christmas album based on like a white pigeon in like new york city like, you know, okay so like A lot of years went by and then I any time I would kind of meet someone who was a musician or like new musicians Or whatever and I would always jokingly say like Hey, you want to make a christmas album? And I work with a guy who like he's you know He's in like a lot of different bands and you know, he records he records stuff He's got stuff on spotify and you know, he puts it up puts stuff out there So I was like, hey, do you want to make a christmas album? And he was like Yeah. Yeah, I do and I was like if you're serious i'm serious I'm like a thousand percent serious and I was like, can you get like these instruments? I need these instruments I need like these like kind of like can they do this kind of music? Anyway, long story short. I basically wrote all of this music like I wrote two songs. I didn't do a full album I was supposed to do like three at least but like I mean I I had one day In the studio with studio musicians that I was going to explain every piece of the song that I had like Been constructing like in my car. Like I would like I would like be like You know like making a the song in my head and be like, okay How does the bass have to sound in this like? Okay, and and then I knew that I was going to have a very limited time In the studio to like explain to these people like this is the idea for like these songs and I mean it was a challenge to get the day locked down because musicians are hard to get a hold of I mean Even if you're going to pay them like a little bit but Covid was a thing. So it was 2021 And it was like that christmas wave of like people getting sick right before christmas in 2021 and two times we had to schedule two different groups of musicians because one band got Covid and then my friend was like, okay. Well i'll try to reschedule for this day I was like, okay, then that day came and he's like That those other guys got covid and so he was like I could call some other guys like it'll be last minute You probably have to pay them or something. I was like, yeah, definitely like whatever i'm already gonna pay for the studio time. Yeah, so I get everyone in there and I just tell them this is how it goes. I've had jingle bells and two different keys I bought chimes. I had all this stuff coconuts I looked up like I did like a deep study of like christmas music of like what is good christmas music, okay You know like listening to the little sounds what are the little sounds that you hear that are like christmas music, you know A lot of christmas music is just country music. So I had the second song is kind of a country theme song Okay, and it's like a mix of like if you listen to it, what do you hold on? What do you mean by that? There are a lot of a lot of christmas songs like classic christmas songs. They're either ballads or um country songs They just sound like, you know, like they're always some kind of country song like the old ones it's either like somewhere like, uh, you know, bing crosby or Like a country song. I feel like the classic ones. Okay, I would have to uh, like like maybe it's called outside Like what is that? That's like a bow. That would be more of a bad ballad. Okay, but like uh, like Jingle bells is like a country song No, that's jingle bell rock because even that is oh real country song what is what is jingle rock is it is it you know Jingle bells. Yeah, what is jingle bell? jingle bells jingle You know what I'm saying anyway something I was like Yeah, that's weird. That's a different song. Yeah, I don't even think about that There's two songs with the word jingle. Oh, there's a lot of jingle dude. Yeah. Oh, I remember Yeah, anyway, that's that's that's the story I basically and and I had Constructed all this music in my head and was and I got it out in 10 hours and 10 hours. We had The christmas album on spotify, dude, that's sick. Yeah, so you uh Yeah, so you wrote a video for it Did you write the lyrics I wrote the lyrics you wrote the lyrics. Yeah, the first one is about a pigeon Okay in in new york city you see a white pigeon and everything's like more magical and shit or whatever and that's a ballad and the second song is christmas songs lied to me Which is like just like all the stupid shit that you hear in christmas songs like like that sounds sad I don't know. No, it's it's it's it's upbeat. It's like literally like a minute and a half and it's like Doot doot doot. Oh, okay. Okay. It's it's like it comes in hot. Okay You kind of be like yo, this is my shit. Hey, dude, i'll check it out, man. I'm excited to listen to that uh, anyway I bought two pigeons for the christmas album cover Uh, and they ended up i'm just gonna turn you down just to scare. Yeah, i'm too loud I have a live voice I've been holding back. Oh, thank god. I can finally speak in a normal level All right, hey, I think it's too low don't okay. Yes Damn it. All right. Hey I'll just stay a better distance. I'm right on top of the show. Okay Well, yeah, because mine I guess mine. I don't have to be as close as I am, but I like to really fucking Gosh, I I didn't mean to get so deep into the christmas album thing. No, that's fine, dude. I The more you know, I don't fucking know anything about that stuff. So it's really I don't either Well, it's like cool to hear you talk about your life experience and like what you had to do and go through It was a good story Yeah, but it led to having pigeons Okay. Yes, so pigeons. So I had um two pigeons for the christmas album cover And I acquired them In pigeons on broadway. It's a pigeon store in brooklyn. Okay Go check it out go buy a pigeon pigeons on broadway. Yeah, they just have a pigeon store. It's a pigeon store That's wild. You just go in there and then you can just chop it up I was like, yo, let me grab a couple pigeons and they're like that'll be 40 a piece. I need white pigeons 40 a piece That's it. Yeah, can you eat them? Do you eat pigeon? No, but you know what when I was looking for I was trying to say where the hell do I get pigeons, right? so I work in the film industry and I was getting Like people's advice and like you get an animal wrangler So like if I needed a pigeon for like a photo shoot, okay, you call up like an animal wrangler. Okay Someone who keeps the birds It's there and like it humanely like will be treated and like You know, whatever. Okay but that is like you still have to pay a day rate for this person because they're Professional and it's like the day rate which I asked some of my prop friends that they they said it would be like $700 for the day even if I even if I need them for just like 30 minutes take a picture with the pigeon so 30 or $700 For a day you get a professional that they they do that on movie sets If i'm paying I would get I would get $700 of pigeons just to piss someone off Mainly and then I would snap all their necks on camera $700 is like no you would the the thing is it comes with humane treatment. So like you would be fucking In trouble like you'd be like arrested like if you didn't do that. Okay, so they're there to oversee Okay, so it's not just a $40. It's like $40 and make sure that they're safe No $40 from the pigeon store. It doesn't matter where you what he doesn't care. No questions asked The pigeon store $40 Yeah, I was like I would kill the fuck out of those pigeons Well $40 that sometimes that's what white birds are used for though people Fucking let them loose and shoot them with shotguns and shit. Damn. Yeah, that's like a like a thing that people do That's an old white dude this time all white. Yeah Yeah, pull they launch them they fucking slingshot them why there's a machine you load up a pigeon Oh Man, yeah, it's fucked up. They They'll take a pigeon load it into like a fucking catapult and it launches them Oh and me just as soon as they're like trying to like get their shit together like Dude that's crazy. Yeah, but i've heard from from people they shoot him with a shotgun And i've heard from people who have actually done this and I talked to an old british guy about this. Yeah He said that uh, he's like the fuckers are I don't know i'm doing a wrong accent but he said some british shit and he was like, I won't do the accent, but he just said that he he's seen them like take a fucking like a Shrapnel from a shotgun and like just keep flying away. Oh, really? Yeah, because there's a certain deflecting on the wings like the the feathers are like Oh, it's not the bird's not as big as it looks because it has a lot of like feathers. I don't know Yeah, but I could they could take a hit and keep flying. Yeah. Yeah, that's why they like have you do you know? What bird shot is? Like bird shot. That's what they like shoot him with. It's like pellets Oh, is that what they do? Yeah for a shotgun. So it's like it spreads out. Yeah. Yeah it's like it's like a peppering effect so that yeah, but um That's crazy because I yeah, the only reason I know about bullets is because I had a shotgun once upon a time Uh, where were you? Uh, nebraska I I had fucking guns. It's okay to have it. It's okay to have that in nebraska I had yeah, I had like three guns at a time, dude. Nice. Uh, I had a fucking ar-15 It's nice. Nice. That was like I can tell that that's like you're like a cheap like the crowning achievement as a gun owner I had an ar-15 I sold it because I came up to live in new york and I know you guys don't like that. You can't have no ar-15 Rolling through Williamsburg and shit dude, and I fucking Not unless you're a racist white dude, yeah, yeah, dude I wish I wish I had mine to fight the racist white dude, actually It never works. It backfires. Yeah, dude. Um I don't even know it was just like I was just like uh sad and buying shit at the time so I was just like it was just like a weird point in my life where I just like uh Had the money and yeah, I went through something like that, but with knives really? Yeah. Okay. All right you know like Yeah, I guess that that's like the easier way to do it in new york You can get as many knives as you want at a certain point I ordered From the tv, you know when you watch like one of those tv shows Yeah, yeah Got the bowie knife It was four o'clock in the morning my cousin Looks over they dropped it. They kept on saying two hundred dollars 190 you know what we're gonna do. We're gonna bring it down 160 for 169 So my cousin looks over at me he's on the couch next to me and he goes Dude, you gotta you gotta call and literally was like I have i'm already like i'm on the phone already Ringing right now. Yeah I'm an idiot. I'm gonna let 160 knives go like that's so funny. Did you did he get him? I got him It came in a big-ass Case damn and they all like boxed up like you ever buy like a gas station knife. Yeah, there's like 160 gas station Dude, it's like little box. Yeah, you know a little box that has like a like some some graphic design It's like the bat wing. Oh, yeah. Yeah. So it's a bunch of those a bunch of those Dude I pulled every single one out was like Yeah I mean I had cuts on my fingers for like, uh, like a week because I just was playing with knives That's so funny swinging them open Yeah Were there were any of them like assisted? No, no, no. Okay, but I mean, you know you get a good flick And if you're arrested for a knife, no matter what it'll still be charged as a gravity knife. What does that mean? And it means that it it implies that it's assisted So if you were arrested in new york city, yeah with a knife on you They would say that it was a gravity knife no matter what kind of knife why it's just It's better for cops, I don't know I was arrested with a knife once well, I had a knife clipped to the pocket Okay, okay and i'm walking to the aster place subway it was around christmas time and I guess the undercover people are like walking around high like Like places that people are spending a lot of money in the city Like there's like detects walking around and shit like right undercover and shit and they saw a knife in my pocket He's a little clip, you know And like they just put me up against the wall and they're like came up behind me playing codes I was like Whoa, what the fuck? And so they're like, yeah, I got it. It's a knife the fuck Anyway, and he got arrested for that. I was arrested damn dude. Where was this at? I'm sorry the aster place uh subway area it's it's just Uh, like st. Mark's like right around that area. We know the big cube Yeah, like literally like right where that train station is where the where the fucking cube is that word, okay or is that over by like, um, um, um raising canes over there I don't know That's kind of a new landmark for me, dude raising canes. Have you you've had it? Don't be you ain't getting no average that you ain't getting no average right now We're gonna take a second. Yeah for raising canes raising canes hit hit your boy up Okay, I will put on for you guys so hard I ride or die for raising canes, let me tell you dude I fucking ride for you know as the summer comes As the summer approaches it's time to get together with friends and what better place to do that that raising canes Come on down. We'll have some small ice in the in the ice thing and and That's the one thing I have to add to you guys Raising canes fixes snow ice dude. It sucks. It's the worst kind of ice, you know Small eyes I've never even thought about that because sonic tried to pull that shit one time. Yeah. Yeah, but they're a slushy machine All right they just hit us they were like slushy and it was just a syrup and then snow ice and I was like Yo, you guys got to be you guys have to do something about this A new straw like you need to like up the straw technology, dude Uh, where were we were we saying something though? I feel like this is just the process You need someone who's on the outside being like, yeah Like i'm too high to keep track of what yeah And like you did bring up a good note with the book, but i'm I like i'm not gonna write anything I'm, just like i'm still listening to this after. Yeah. Yeah. I'm just still in the process of listening to the entire thing Yeah, I listen to every everything Right back. Yeah, um The you find you hate yourself when you hear it No, man. I I think it's like interesting. It's like it's just like something to notice and like, uh, see where I fucking Uh could be better. Is it going to be an overall? like message with this or it'll be like no dude finding i'm literally just talking to like my friends and to get to know people better and just like uh, just I don't know be comfortable like I want people to be comfortable and just like hang out and Uh, i'm calling this one the lovely podcast. I think that's kind of fun lovely Yeah, and so you did one podcast as a guest and then you were like damn I need to get my silky ass voice on dude, seriously, no, no, uh, I I don't even know. I it literally just all happened because it's day in of new york Oh, yeah, because you collected all this stuff. Yeah um collected uh, no, but uh Shout out to stand up to you But it's like i'm never gonna I don't think i'm gonna release this like, I mean I might Yeah, but it's like cool to have it. It's an experiment. It is it is well I don't now that I feel like I have it It's like I feel like I have to do it and i've like It does feel natural and it feels fun for me like i'm enjoying myself right now like this feels like a good way to spend my day and so i'm, just like the more I can do this and just get comfortable doing this and talking to people like Uh, I think honestly like the better my life will be in general like I think and the comedy podcast is like the it's like It's the thing now everyone's like, you know Are you even a comedian if you don't have your own podcast with like five people like listening to it? Like yeah, i'm not even trying to be like i'm not even dedicating this to like comedy. I think Right. That's why i'm calling it like because I feel like that like it limits Yeah, yeah, it's like because I don't always feel funny dude like yeah, I know I have sad day like I have this is sad Dude you can't be having sad art Dude, I thought about that. Look at look at all my art. Like all my art is pretty sad Even that is like colorful, but it's like a woman looking down. Yeah, you know, we all know what's going on yeah, the the video you'll never see that motherfuckers, but uh no, uh I don't know. They um I do need to get some happier shit in here, though You know, you know one thing that I I love about the podcast is that it's it's um i'm already I I basically learned how to speak from listening to talk radio and shit like that. Okay, like listening to like talk show hosts but like I used to like Oh hit me jack. I got you But like I used to listen to like david letterman. I mean, I mean watch david letterman and like, you know I mean, you know talk radio stuff and like I mean howard stern and you know Opie and anthony were like on the radio and shit and and I always noticed there was a similarity between the talk show host on tv And like the talk radio guy, but the big description. I mean the big difference is that The the radio host would always have to explain what is going on in the studio You know like and and there's a little bit more of like a a verbal like visualization of What you're talking about? Yeah, yeah rather than like it just being like, oh well, you know Like maybe you're recording the video but like you can't take advantage Of that and you have to really flex that like you guys don't see this muscle. Yeah Yeah, you know which is like radio like that's radio. Yeah, that's radio as fuck like yeah That's radio is radio as fuck yo son is right now, uh, but because like even thinking about like, uh, I I want to kind of do this sometime. I haven't ever done it But like just listening to like a boxing match over radio. I think would be very exciting like to like Just like visualize where they are in the ring and just be like, okay Hit some of the left hook something doesn't connect like well baseball is one of those that you like it's it's slow slow happening so like it People famously listen to baseball on the radio and fall asleep really come on people listen every old man i've ever seen was like listening to baseball is like But anyway, the point I was going to make was that like baseball is slow so like not hard to imagine a guy standing on second base like yeah, and he's standing on second base now and you're like You know, you don't really have to have like a great imagination to like listen to baseball You know, yeah And he's running to the third base And he's uh, oh they they got him. Yeah Your eyes are closed and you're just like I think i'm gonna go to sleep. Yeah You just trail off But that's why I say like boxing because boxing is so like quick and he hit him with the right and then the left And he's shuffling around Yeah, he's walking him down. He's like, yeah, I don't even know the terms. Yeah, he's closing the space. Yeah He's closing the distance closing the difference, uh, uh, he he rolled under rolled under with a left body hook or something Uh slip left and yeah, I trained my pigeon To be a boxer. Oh, yeah I'll show you the name of mike tyson. Yeah, I gotta show you i'll show you a video. Yeah. Yeah Can we hey, can we bring up the video? All right Bring up the video But um Well, I I mentioned to you when you're training them to be a homing pigeon You have to train a bird to stay in their cage first for three weeks Okay, and especially if they're male They they get um cage aggression That's from being kept in a cage like a prison, I guess, you know But it takes about three weeks for them to imprint on the space And like locate themselves in that GPS as their home. Okay, you know what I mean? Yeah, like no matter what He would always go out the window When he came back he would come straight in go right to his little house Okay, but the point is is that and you you would keep him in the cage for three weeks you keep him in the cage for three weeks just about and then You've got a bird that knows its house That and then you let him out and then you can let him out by the window, but anyway I would I would help him get his cage aggression out by by showing him At a box and we would have a routine where I would poke my finger at him then I would swipe to the left or something and then like go over him and like Do like a like a thing where I would catch him on the side with a hook and like Then I would like poke poke poke and every day it would be like a routine really so Look, I'll show you this is this is ethyl. His name is ethyl I named him ethyl because when I got him, I just thought he was like a female bird until he tried to hump one of The female pigeons that I had around the house Anyway without further ado. Here's the video Yo, yo, what the fuck yeah, he closed that space. Yeah. Yeah Yo, he's like rolling under and you know, like he was a cold-blooded fucking killer dude, that's so crazy And so is he like trying to bite you there? Yeah. Yeah, he's got me in the clench so, uh I'll show you later on I would go around my neighborhood once I found out he was going out and mixing with neighborhood pigeons I would go around with a little monocular Which like increased my and I would put it on my phone And I would catch him because he had a very distinct pattern And he also had like this hair thing that like went up in the back of his head For anyone who's a pigeon enthusiast they would know it's it's called a blue satinette A blue satin that's what they call But here here's another video of him fucking up a bird on the roof That's him jumping over the fucking roof like a samurai Yo, and fighting this other bird to the death Dude, that's crazy Just that side jump over the roof So, hold on here's the one that's on the left attacking so yeah, this is this is him jumping over watch Side jump and then he was going for this female it looks like and this one looks like it might have been his mate And oh, so he's the one getting attacked. Yeah. Okay. Okay. So what happens here what you're looking at is When two male pigeons are fighting it's like bulls So they'll grab at each other's beaks So one will grab the beak and and wiggle their head You know, it's kind of like like locking antlers Okay, and the the more dominant bird will be able to grab the other one's beak but ethel was bred to have a smaller beak Okay, so like these three pigeons could never get a hold on them And then he would come from the side and like not let go When I used to fuck with him in the cage, he figured out how to break skin He would he would like be like playing with me and he would break skin like a little tiny little pecks in my damn dude That was scared the fuck out of me. And so yeah, dude, and you know, what's crazy when you have pigeons in your house You don't realize the noises that they make So he eventually stopped coming home He would go out and he would come back every he would go out in the morning And just he would just go home go to his little house and he would be there at the end of the night But one day he didn't come home. Oh, yeah, but he he was a bastard And he was he was like out there One of the things that I always thought was crazy is that he would bark at the crows so we would have neighborhood crows that would fly by and they would be like Oh And I would hear that and then I would see him land in my window my bird ethel He would land in my window where he was safe, I guess and he would bark at the crows. He'd be like A pigeon wow, and and it was like the noise if you see like jurassic park like the noise of the velociraptors make Yeah Like literally like dinosaur noises Wow, so I think he he might have gotten fucked up by a hawk or a crow damn Dude, oh do crows kill pigeons? Yeah, but only if they're asking for it. Really? Yeah. Yeah Typically in the area. So hold on. Yeah, I know a lot about birds. Unfortunately, that's so crazy This is so funny like especially you are oddball matt david welcome. Oh, yeah, we didn't even do like an introduction This is the lovely podcast. We have our lovely guest Mark this. Yeah, there we go. Uh, uh shit what time 41 35 41 55 maybe The start of the podcast 4155 in Dude, uh You're a bird guy, but uh, what was I gonna say? Oh, so the the window Did he what do you mean like was it like a box that you had set up on your window to where he would Only come to the outside and then you know, there was a Sorry, there was a cage like a like a like a A bird cage that was right next to the window And so like I would just open the window and he would come in and Go straight to his go straight to his little cage. I didn't like calling it a cage I called it a house or his I I I would refer to it as his his private quarters his home. Yeah home house quarters Cage just having a cage in your house. It just makes you feel a little weird. It sounds like uh, It's a weird thing. It's a weird dude. You're just like I don't want to have a cage in my house Yeah, when people have a dog to go to the case they can cage and I never even considered him a pet He was kind of like a weird companion Yeah, like not like not even a companion just like almost like a gi joe because he was such a cool little like He kind of was the alpha of the block So when I would see him go out in the morning because he was a racing pigeon he had like Like an advantage from his breeding That that was over like your average street pigeon yeah, so he had been bred to like be able to do like these acrobatic fucking like somersaults and like He was an amazing flyer and I would watch him Leave the window and he became an alpha on the block so if you see birds in the morning in the afternoon, they're doing their flying they do like the The pigeons in the city they'll do like the roundies they'll like be doing flying around in circles Okay, look look for it in the morning when you see pigeons They usually do a quick flock of a few round circles. Okay, and what that is is it's kind of like Bird, they they're one of the few birds that fly for fun. Okay, and Fun and they're training themselves and training the new birds like there's always new pigeons So it teaches the young birds how to fly and like maneuver and shit. How big did they come out? How big do they come out? Yeah, they come out about about two inches big Maybe about an inch big they come out of an egg. That's about an inch and a half Wild. Yeah, did you do you watch yours hatching? Yeah I've brought some babies into the world. It's sad when they go away some some flew out the window and never came back and some Died. Yeah, and it's tough when you're raising things from eggs to see them die. Yeah, yeah, but That is kind of weird man So get this 18 days 18 days For an egg to hatch Okay egg gets laid right 18 days baby pigeon comes out and then within 30 days full month It's it's a fully grown bird what the fuck 30 days is a fully grown bird And it's just starting to learn how to fly. Why and that's what you know You always hear like oh, how come I never saw a baby pigeon is because by the time they're old enough to fly You're seeing them. Yeah. Yeah, I mean They don't like leave the nest unless they fall out and you see like a baby on the floor or something. Wow Dude I didn't even like that's pretty crazy like the life cycle and then how long do they live for? Street pigeons. Yeah street pigeons. Um, they they can they live somewhere like two like me I mean anywhere from like a few months to two three years Damn, but I have a bird that's been visiting my window. I had because I get just like The birds that they found out that I put food out word. Okay, they start coming Yeah, but I have a bird that's been visiting for two years. Yeah, and and I know it's all I They come to the window. I put a little food out It's audrey That is audrey audrey's here, dude. That's crazy to me do you feel uh That feels like a weird superpower man like it's not something that you like from from Conception of like oh I just need to use a bird for a little bit of for this like shoot To like yeah, I was watching the life cycle of this like thing and I got attached like that is like a weird Yeah, that's like a that's like a weird. Uh Story arc of like damn dude. You kind of became like the the became a pigeon man a pigeon man You're dude. You're oddball man. That is crazy. You are you're like I don't that is a very normal story to hear from someone named oddball man, you know, like that's so crazy Thank you, yeah, that's I mean, I mean it's awesome. It's just like um, yeah, it kind of hit me really like just it's the kind of thing that You start raising birds by accident because you like you look into like oh I don't want to like release these white birds into the city because they don't camouflage with the city And hawks, they'll be easy picking And as soon as the hawk sees a white bird There that's why I think about it. Most pigeons are gray Because that they blend in with the rocks and the And they're like the city colors. Yeah, I don't even think about like Birds that color gray because of us. No, they're actually so pigeons. They're called They're like scientific. I mean not scientific name, but their their common name is called the rock dove Okay, so they're rock doves And they come from uh somewhere in britain Somewhere in britain, uh somewhere in england or whatever. Okay. I forget where somewhere in england where there's like a mountain area So that they come from like a mountain area So they have like gray colors and that's why they're more commonly like more comfortable nesting in like cities Than they are in like trees like you don't see pigeons sleeping in trees. They all have like a little place That's like on a cliff. Yeah. Yeah, you know, it's like more familiar for them. Wow, so they're mountain birds Dude, I don't even think about that. But then what do you fucking hawks hawks have in trees, right? Hawks are everywhere. They'll live in buildings. They'll live on the yeah. Yeah, they're everywhere Are hawks like the motherfucker birds like do we not like hawks? Um, well, I mean, you know, they're cool But I mean, you know, they eat a lot of pigeons And and you know, what's crazy the government the government The government actually Like there's a you can't kill a hawk, right? Okay, it's federally protected Yeah, so a lot of pigeon guys run into like a problem with like if they see a hawk hanging around their coop or something They'll shoot it Trying to cover it up. It's like this whole fucking crazy But the government they say Basically trains and like releases a certain amount of hawks into new york city's atmosphere every like year To keep down the pigeon and rat population, but it's mostly the pigeons damn dude the hawks eat rats too, though. Oh, yeah, dude But it's easier to get pigeons. Oh, dude. I would hate to see that. Oh, yeah, that'd be the scariest Thing to see in the world. You know, what's crazy a pigeon can out fly a hawk really? Yeah, because like if if a hawk was chasing a bird, uh, if a hawk was chasing a pigeon You know like if he was like right behind him Like a pigeon can maneuver left and right do a barrel roll drop down like whatever Yeah, but the way a hawk will get a pigeon is flying above they fly much higher above And then they drop and they die. They die straight down, dude. I would love to see that There's footage online. You have to look it up now Yeah, you gotta look at it. Is it like bloody and shit, dude? They so basically they they kill their prey with the pressure of just dropping it like a thousand Like they're going just like it's like a it's like a snap you get snapped. Yeah, the bones are They they come with the feet like this Okay, come with your feet straight out and they'll just like smash you into the ground They smash it into the ground grab you in the air and fucking bring you down And they but that's why that's why it's dangerous for birds to be on like the highest point so like if like Pigeons, like are being like real alpha and like whatever they'll display that they can go higher Okay, and and like my bird would I the reason I think he got picked off by a hawk or another predator is because he was Always putting himself at the top Of like the buildings and stuff like that. He was a psycho he was a he was a Crazy bird, but but but hawks they'll they'll just they see that and they'll They'll take them the easiest prey. That's why I learned all of this is a What would happen if I released this white bird into the new york city? Oh Damn, and so you just like now knowing all that I was like I can't so now I ended up keeping the birds and Did you uh, so how did the ears come out gray? Um, well I I got some from a pigeon breeder, okay, and I acquired a few different Types of pigeons. They're like pokemon Yeah, that's what it sounds like dude. There's over 160 different types of species of pigeon And each one of them is like nearly unbelievable if you think of like a regular There's some that are like orange colors and like wow some that have like these crazy headdresses and Different patterns, is it is that the mating call like i've seen the I I think it is but it's like when they get like Like they get in like yeah, they like spin around and like they just get bricked up. Yeah Tail feathers come out and they're like Their head feathers just like Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, look at me bitch. You can see you can see the male pigeons Chasing around the little female. Yeah That they'll be like What do they fuck? Oh, they fuck they fuck. Oh, yeah. Well, it's weird. They have cloacas. What does that mean? So that means they both basically have it's like a little hole It's like a little hole. That's what Both and then it's the one hole that does it all for everything. So male and female Hold on. What so the thing that's really weird? I mean, I still really it still bothers me. I'll be honest I don't understand how it works, but He he i'll basically explain it the most easiest way or like fundamental way, okay, basically Pigeons don't fuck unless there's a food source Okay, so they won't breed unless there's like food So if no one's feeding the pigeons in your neighborhood Less likely for any of the female pigeons to be giving it up word. Okay All right, so you see a lot of sexually frustrated pigeons if you're not feeding them So The way it works is they'll feed each other Right. Let's say they eat a little corn off the floor They'll feed each other much like they would if they were feeding it to a baby bird. Okay, that's like Initiation that's like a mate is you're mating after that. So after that They eat Then the female will squat down and the male pigeon will hop on her back For like Four seconds and flap like his wings like in the air Okay, and like wiggle his tail feather back and forth and that's sex. Damn, and then they hop off They take a nap and they wake up and they poop I mean, can you it's the same thing they they uh, But but anyway, how do they sleep? They sleep just like this Like but they're standing up right? No, they they'll sit down sometimes they'll like Do they move they'll bring their feet inside? Okay, but basically like what you're seeing like the feathers It's like think of it like a north face jacket If you see like a bird like this They just put their their feet inside their jacket and they're like just chilling. Oh, okay Like sleeping like on a like a ledge and they're all fat and it's just sitting there then they're just puffed up They're just keeping warm. It's like they like put their hands inside their north face jacket, you know, okay. Yeah, seriously But um when they yeah when they get like tighter and small, it's like a sleep mode. Yeah But yeah, I don't know how so so the egg When the no matter what just like any The egg is formed inside of there no matter what and just like, you know, just like chickens Like if you were to get like a chicken egg If if there was no male, there would still be an egg produced, but it won't be fertilized. Yeah But the weird thing is that it's like When the male fertilizes the pigeon egg The egg is already starting to form inside of When the male fertilizes the pigeon egg The egg is already starting to form inside of the other bird Okay, and and something about I don't know how it works. This Some kind of the the bird sperm goes it's kind of gross. I don't know. Yeah It's just leaking in. I don't know how it works because they're not touching tips It's like going through the feathers or something. It's I don't get it weird. It's weird. Yeah, that does sound interesting But I think I have seen bird sex in because it's not like a video If you ever see birds feeding each other stick around because they're about to fuck Damn, like how long does it take like literally seconds after damn really you'll see them Put like their beaks together and they'll shake their heads up and down And it's kind of like a handshake movement. Yeah, and then right after they feed each other It's like get the fucking there they fuck I wish that's where like humans could do that. Yeah. No, you know, but I fed a couple and and they It's not gun pigeons made for life though. So they've got it. They've got it more figured out They each other what they made for life Made for life. Yeah, like it means like if you see them Fucking that's it Until one of those other birds until either one dies That's the most excitement they'll ever have No, they'll keep fucking they'll oh no. No, but but like they just don't switch partners They stay with the same mate until they die. Damn. Yeah, I didn't oh shit. Really? Yep that they stay together until they're dead. Um, yeah, I mean until one I mean it's not uncommon if like say the mate dies Then they get another mate. Uh-huh, but not while they're with another damn. Yeah, that's actually really crazy, man Yeah, do you think it's like love? What do you think? well, the thing that's really interesting is that the bird and human bond works because pigeons parrots parakeets You know all these like they call them love birds Doves pigeons swans, right swans as well You know, I I don't know enough about swans to speak on them So i'll keep them out of the equation for now But yeah, like All of these birds have an under they have a social structure understanding Pigeons and all you know love birds they have friends they have Partners they have mates, you know what I mean? Wow, they they have like a social understanding Okay, so when they see when they live with a human they Like will imprint or not imprint. They'll they'll they'll bond with you Okay, so like if it's just one single bird and you Most of the time that bird's gonna bond with you. Wow, and and it's the weirdest relationship because it's it's not like a dog It's not you, you know, you you have a dog dog's great But like, you know, this bird loves you And and you love that fucking bird And and the more you try to get close with this bird It's like this otherworldly creature that like you like think you have nothing In common with and then you see it do something and you're like, wow, that's just like humans do and then you're like wait like that's like something that like nature does and and you always realize something I learned getting that close to you know birds and stuff is that You know, you always humans put themselves at the like the the most important. Yeah thing So like no matter what it is Humans see themselves important more important than nature and we see ourselves detached from it But like that's why we will say like oh, oh, it's funny that pigeons do that That's like us but it's like we're all doing the same. We're like pigeons, right? What do you like perspective shift? It's not like we're like pigeons, but we're all part of nature and and it's something that nature does You know what? I mean? Okay, we eat we fuck we go to sleep and we wake up we take a shit and we're like maybe that's like us But like everything in nature does that? Yeah, you know what I mean? But but we see ourselves as so important The most important thing in the universe is as a human. Yeah, that's why I went like I make art And one of the things I realized in my most recent when I had a studio They got to make big art I want to make big art because if you make regular size art You know like 30 inches 40 inches people can walk by and they go well, that's really cool and they look at it for a little bit and Like i've seen enough. Yeah but when a piece is Massively bigger than a person It it Unlocks that like it taps into that worship part of people's brains To where you're like, this is bigger than a person undeniably bigger than me Yes, so like you're you you're in awe of it and Damn, they're catching yourself from putting the human yourself in front of everything in its importance you know like the importance is Not the human you take it away, you know It's uh, it's just Overall everything the nature the Universe Whatever it is. It does kind of make you like I have had moments of like I don't know like this is the only way I can describe it is like of feeling perspective like I don't know just being high right? let's say just saying very aggressively high and being out of my body and feeling like This is all much like we're so small and having like this kind of like and then even yeah, dude like I don't understand how people like Can go like I don't know. I I feel like I marvel at the city at least once a day where i'm just like behind like I so I was doing this the other day where I Saw this building and it was a really cool building. It was by like grizzly bear in midtown. Uh-huh Um, and it was it's not anything crazy. It's like it's a big fucking building, but it's not like for new york It's like, you know a regular size building But I I looked at it. I was like dude, that's fucking huge. This is crazy And then immediately I was like 2001, holy fuck that would have been so much bigger so much scarier like this thing just like Dude, yeah. Yeah like I was like dude imagine seeing a fucking plane hit a building that's like like the building I was looking at was probably You could have done at least two nine elevens on top of each other one of the towers like So yeah, let's say 9 11 means four times measurement like a man dude, you know how many 9 11s you could fit into that building Yeah, dude, that's a that's a half a 9 11 right there. Oh damn Dude, that's so funny. How many? Math class how many 9 11s can fit into? These weird equations uh Yeah, dude, uh, but yeah, I don't know I got on a tangent no, I that's it's all good man, uh Yeah, I don't know what uh What we got on birds what uh, I could keep talking about birds forever. So we should probably go to another thing like But I'll tell you what the peak of bird isms happening in my life was when uh I was married and I had My wife she went away for 10 weeks. Okay, and I uh I ended up Through birds being born and birds that I had acquired by the time she came back. There was Seven birds living in my apartment Jeez, and I was running out of places to like put them. Uh-huh. So they were just flying around Gee That's crazy And I was clean I was like feverish like I would I would come home from work at like two o'clock in the morning And I would clean for like three hours just to keep a certain level of Clean in my apartment. Yeah, but yeah when my wife came home it was like the uh the house from jumanji There was fucking birds flying all over the place, dude. Do you think they like? What why did you stop? I didn't have a place to keep the birds It's not It's not fair to do that. Maybe I could have sustained one bird. Yeah, but like Keeping a pair together. They just kept on having babies They have babies Like I said 18 days i'm still talking about pigeons. No, it's all good 18 days birds hatch I mean 18 days. Yeah the eggs hatch, right? then 30 days fully grown About about like You know like oh, like I said 30 days so about a month and a half Those birds are ready to like kind of like get out on their own. Yeah, their parents no longer feeding them They know how to eat on their own So they don't need to be in the cage anymore and then just about like 10 days or two weeks or so After those birds leave the cage They'll fuck again, and then you'll have more eggs. Damn, dude That's a short life cycle, but then they live for like three years No, no in the city. They live for three years if you kept a bird in house like fully vitamins good Water everything they can live up to 15 years, dude. What the fuck they live as long as dogs, dude That's crazy, is it just like three years because they get fucked up in the city the city They're not eating properly. They're not getting the right nutrition weather Predators, how many dude like do they run into shit and die? Like is that what do you mean run into shit? I don't know if this is just like a window. Yeah Yeah, yeah the windows they'll smash right into windows smash into a window and die Yeah, dude, because i've seen that like just like a joke and That sounds funny, but it's like well That's why you got to put reflective surfaces on like if you have a window and that keeps happening You have to like put like a mirrored surface on so like Is that why they like make the tall buildings like that now? Dude crazy I bet you the old building. That's what they were. That's why they did it because they were like They're like we need to stop this. This is making the office worker sad. Let's just bring this whole thing down Just imagine you're you're in your suicidal cubicle formation And all of a sudden all day like every 30 minutes is like boom You're like oh I can't take it Is this quarter office worth it I just want to just birth blood all over my window and i've never seen my wife and kids And then 9 11 happened Yeah And then you're like the big bird. Oh my god The biggest of the birds come why is 9 11 the best theme to talk about? Is this so tight? I don't know dude. I uh Because it's funny now, I guess I don't know what you want to hear the best thing I I have I have a 9 11 story, but it's not a 9 11 story in the sense that it is about 9 11 Okay, so the year The year is 2006 Okay, all right after now This podcast has been brought to you by 9 11 um, so anyway, I never forget so I had a girlfriend. Uh-huh Like not a high school girl. Yeah, but like basically a girlfriend that I was dating in high school We go on or whatever She goes to college She always wants me to come hang out in her dorm it's 2006 I Am I hate my girlfriend? I just i'm basically still with her because we like hook up and we have sex. Okay You know, she's there's no way to get i'm young I didn't know what to do. So and The only time I could have sex with her was when we were At her dorm, but I would have to stay the whole weekend Okay, and like i'd have to hang out with her roommates And all this shit and she didn't like when I smoked weed so I would always lie to her that I was not smoking weed Okay, and so classic classic game. I was like, yeah, I haven't smoked in three months The downside of that is that all of her friends just thought I was retarded So like they'll be like your boyfriend's super high when he comes here and she's like no he hasn't smoked in three months Damn, you're gaslighting like a motherfucker. That's great. I would It would be like a 20 minute drive from where I was at to like where her dorm was and I would smoke a fucking entire blunt like a like a full gram like on the way and be like So she just didn't know what it smelled like or what she's just kind of like oblivious oblivious to the fact like That I was going to be so high. Yeah, so one day Just setting the story in in the right setting so one day i'm going for a full weekend And i'm like i'm gonna get so fucking high. I smoked like two grams on the way over like in the Like the most unnecessary like fat snoop dog blunt on the way Driving straight driving 20 minutes down a highway Yeah, like just getting super fucking high. Yeah, so I pull up And and this is beyond the era of being able to like just zone out on your phone like I couldn't like I'm trapped in a dorm room with a bunch of chicks talking about People that I don't know You know dumb college girl shit. Yeah. Dane cook may have been on in the background, dude You're painting the scene for sure. Yeah I actually do remember. Yeah cook was like on the tv. Yeah for like the 400th time. I think I was like eight Yeah, eight or nine. Yeah So that's all happening i'm Insanely high for hours just sitting there Uh not paying attention to anything they're talking about all of a sudden The mood in the room changes And everyone's like, oh Looking around people looking around doing that thing where everyone's like Looking for the reaction of someone next to them And and i'm my oh shit like everyone's waiting for me to say something This is what I that's what I think so I just That's cool I that's what I say It I get the you know, the feeling from the room that it's time for me to say something. So I say That's cool my girlfriend Does the slow head turn over to the left and she looks at me with her eyes bugging out and she goes baby She just said that her dad died in 9-11 That's not cool Jesus christ And I was like Listen, i'll be honest. I wasn't paying attention at all Jesus i'll be honest. I yeah, I smoked on I just before I came here So like I was giving myself up And she's looking at me. She's like you smoked You know Oh my god, like I was like fucking full collapse like and i'm like listen, i'm sorry I wasn't paying attention to anything that anyone was saying I didn't need it So imagine everyone so now that I look back on it What they were what they were saying everyone must have just completed saying she drops this bomb in the room You know my dad died in 9-11 and everyone must have just finished saying oh i'm so sorry. Oh my god I'm, sorry. Oh, i'm sorry and then it's my turn I go That's cool Dude, that's crazy. Yeah, that's cool. It's like such a like, uh It's like you can say anything else but that That sucks is like Necessary or or valid but then that's cool being like everyone was like, that's cool, man You'd be right though. You know, you're not paying attention at all Yeah, you're just like yeah, that's cool. It's like suck that up. All right, dude, uh You're like what we're talking about. Sorry. Damn, dude. Yeah, so that's my 9-11 story. That's crazy I don't yeah, I don't even have like a real 9-11. No, it's not a 9-11 story though. Yeah Offending someone whose father was killed In 9-11. Yeah, I don't even know anyone that was in 9-11. I think I mean if it came down to it, like if it was like if like my father worked in 9-11 He got killed. I would take the money Be so much easier just like navigate the world with with millions of dollars from a lawsuit They got a lawsuit Everyone got a lawsuit from 9-11 that if you were in there damn dude. I mean who would you even sue? 9-11 You just sued all it's like who's responsible check the phone book Yeah, yeah, fuck dude. Uh, no, you yeah Yeah, people got big settlements, you know, like your family got killed in like a completely horrible I wonder if there was like a government funded settlement life insurance. I think life insurance policies really cashed in heavy So, yeah Yeah, it is. It's like oh terrifying way to i'm like, oh boo. Your dad died So what you got millions of dollars shut up? Yeah, you're gonna be all right Actually pete, you know pete davidson Yeah, he has like a story about that about how his dad died but his dad was like a fireman Oh on 9-11. So he's like, uh, he's like when you get like when you're a parent who Works for the city or government or whatever gets killed in the line of duty They like give them a little bit of money. So he's like my mom got a little bit of money She's like it didn't get a lot of money, but she got a little bit of money and then with that little bit of money, she's like Uh, she got us a pool. She was like so all my friends would come over and come to my pool And he's like talking about like, uh, hey, I know your dad's dead but this pool's really sick You're like, yeah, my pool is cool. Like it's I don't know i'm not doing the joke justice, but it is a very funny premise of like um, yeah, uh, yeah, you get my thing was like the the ar-15 that was like a grief by that was like I'm sad right now. So i'm gonna shoot this gun, dude, you know, you're like it's just like the weird like yeah No, you need that. You're yeah. Well, it's like, you know what? I kind of do need it, but it is like a Obviously like a very shitty coping mechanism. No, no, no, it's redirecting. I'm all about redirecting everything, you know, okay all right, but but but yeah it's a bad coping mechanism, but I always say Sometimes you need to bribe yourself to stay interested in life You need to bribe yourself. I do like that. That is a fun interesting way. I'm trying to figure out how to fuck it I saw that your mic is down and i'm succumbing to peer pressure because it looks cooler. Does it look cooler? I think this is gonna be way more out of my face I mean you could do it like you're about to drop a fire album like I literally am wrecking the fucking that Dude, I didn't even think these things are so maneuverable. You could be like, uh i'm on one Uh, yeah Yeah, you oh, oh no, dude, dude. I'm completely fucking this thing up. This is retarded Remember that You remember there was a uh, yeah now we're up we're up mic gang now Dude, it's so funny you remember the seven up commercial with drake in like the music box and he was he gets into the studio and he's like Nah, i'm just not feeling it. Oh zip up like a sprite and his like face opens up and it's like a robot and then like It goes back and like he's like i'm ready now And then I forgot all about that. Yeah I was like 2009 2011 some shit like that. Yeah. Yeah commercials like that. I'm just like wait What what are we advertising here that you're just gonna your it opens up your face machine That is so I have to re-watch that commercial. I completely forgot he was ever in there, dude Sprite Did you ever watch uh degrassi with him on it? Uh, only like not not religiously Oh, dude, I was my sister was a religious watcher of that. So I used to watch the fuck out of it Um, yeah, it was an alright show dude, but I remember like in a wheelchair. Yeah, he was a dickhead in the show, dude So it was weird that this fucking show was like made for teenagers, but it was like very like dark Yeah, like there's like a girl that like cut herself In the show and you're like what the fuck are we dealing with problems kids dealing with problems But then also getting ideas from the show that's like marketed towards him, right? Right, but it's like it's like wait, I don't know I can make a bomb from soap. Yeah. Yeah Why would you tell me that? Yeah, I got tons of soap at home um but I uh I'm gonna I watched it and then the show he gets fucking uh Shot. Oh, yeah, that's right. That's how he gets in the wheelchair. He's like an almost kid in the show. Yeah. Yeah This is the only thing like drake has been shot in the tv show too previously on dragon ball z Drake was shot and now Krillin has to get the dragon ball All right. I have to go. I have to pee. Okay. Yeah, uh, there's a Should I be outside of it? No, I mean you can use my bathroom or I'm gonna um Is there anything that you want to get out of the way is there anything that you want to Like anything like before I started talking about a bunch of random shit like is there anything that you like asking people or talking about uh, no, just uh, what are you, uh, I'm really interested to right now like you were talking about your circumstances like right now, um I don't yeah, I don't know if this is like Let me know if i'm if i'm prying too much or anything, but you just kind of uh we talked earlier today and you said you were kind of like in your own way and I just like um that I guess the purpose of why i'm doing this is one. I have the equipment so why not but then two I do like the kind of uh Just being genuine for the sake of being genuine I feel like especially in comedy like we're obviously both like comics and like It is cool to be funny and to joke around and have a good time I think that's very natural, but I also didn't think like a lot of people nerf like the Kind of like emotions and and kind of can't allow themselves to be vulnerable And so I saw that today and I was like, oh man, like i'm not doing anything today I kind of want to talk and just like yeah, um And so just like in your own way, like what is what does that mean for you and like being? Being in my own way Um um, I guess I guess I always like to break it down in this way is that like You know when you're an artist um There are two types of artists. There are two types of artists one is the type of artist That's a little bit more of a businessman Than they are an artist and those people are the people that you see more successful doing something And able to what I always call To kind of believe their own bullshit, you know what I mean? Like for example in the art world someone would be like, oh, well, you know this was you know from the time when my mother died and like they always have to have a story like kind of like What I was saying is like sometimes When people ask you a question you may just give an answer for the sake of giving an answer Yeah, I mean and it's it's easier to do when you believe your own bullshit and the other type of artist is someone who can only do can make and You need more of a vessel kind of you don't have nowhere to You just want to put it out. You just want to do it. Yeah, you do it like sometimes I explain You know, I mean i'm using the word art. All right for me the word art means Creating nothing out of I mean creating something out of nothing at the baseline No matter what it is. You're creating something out of absolutely nothing whether it be a joke whether it be A painting or a movie or photograph you're creating something something that was nothing Maybe it was a pile of words Maybe it was a bunch of paint and now you put it on something and it's it looks like something You know, I mean whatever it is art is Yeah, yeah, it's like expression expression, yeah nothingness turned into something, okay Description words like expression and stuff like we kind of throw those words out there and try to In social structure try to make it look like we know what we're talking about You you don't think expression I think expression. Well, yeah. Yeah, it does. It does make sense, but I try to I try to limit it The the vocabulary to more simpler terms of of trying to explain when you're talking to yourself, but anyway Now that i've explained art The other type of artist is someone who just makes art Okay, and they're less successful because they're not as good of business people. Okay, because they don't believe their own bullshit to where it's like Sure, I can tell you what this means but i'm kind of in like I don't want to sell you my bullshit you know i'm gonna make it and if you like it, then maybe that that's cool, but I just am I'm making it because I I can't do anything else. Okay, you know, I mean, yeah, so Being in your own way, you're not believing your own abilities And maybe it becomes overwhelming if you have Big things that you'd like to do and there's a whole book of things that you want to do Like I want to I want to make a movie. I want to make a painting I want to be this person. I want to be that person and and Having the ability to navigate and do that it's kind of hard because you kind of have to select what you're going to do and Sometimes it's it's hard for a lot of other people to believe that you're able to do multiple things You know, like anytime I remember hearing that an actor or something like that was also like a musician. I was like how the hell Yeah, how does anyone have time to get it? So you can do that one of the things I always think about is I started learning how to play guitar and like when I was like You know 19 or something. I bought a guitar I was doing lessons but then I just got mad because I was like i'm not gonna be any good i'm like I'm, like 19. I'm I should be better at this because you start playing with other people and they're really good And you're like, you know what fuck it i'm never gonna be as good as and so When I think about it I was 19 when I tried to play the guitar. I'm 38 now If I just kept on fucking playing the guitar, I would be good at it You know, but you're kind of like I don't know if I have time Do I have time to be great? yeah, and and something I always have like I have a I always have a bunch of expressions that I kind of live by and I always say If you don't take the time When will you be great? You know, okay I like that. I uh, but yeah, I think so. Okay. So just sorry. I've been saying a lot No, no, you're good to kind of touch back on the um before like the getting in your own way, would you say that what that From everything you just said. It sounds like you're saying that like you're not Giving it your all or you're you're putting out so much that you don't feel Directed or what what like what is the in your own way mean in relation to the art that you make? Yeah, I guess there's a sense of not being able to give it your all but at the same time When I look back on what i've been doing I i'm constantly trying to do something new okay, and There's so many things in my life that I wanted to do since I said like oh These are things that I want to do so Just trying like for the christmas album doing stand-up comedy is something. I only been doing for a year, you know And you know doing a paint being an artist that makes paintings, you know I mean like things that when I finally had the ability to do I do okay, but they don't always like Like I the reason I started doing stand-up Is because I had like a fucking 108 degree fever for like a week and like nearly fucking died and was like why the fuck am I not doing the things that I Like and I thought I had done enough but I was like You know, whatever is something that you wanted to do for a while do since I was a kid I learned how to speak watching comedians on tv. Okay. I mean I put the the way I talk is like a Delivery because i've always been learning how to speak from people on tv. Mm. Okay and it's pretty I mean back in the day comedy central used to just be like rolling fucking Comedians and like fucking compilations and like it would just be like all day long Comedians. Yeah, just just stand-up comedy, you know, just watch it and be like, that's what I want to do But I mean, I mean now it's so much easier you know where to like look online to like get a mic and like you go like I don't know I was I was like I was in Westchester when I was a kid and it's like 30 minutes from the city. Everything is like Where the hell would I even go to a comedy club? I don't even know I think uh I don't know. I just from like the um Side of Yeah, I don't want to get like corny, but it's like the universal side of like things happening like it's uh, it is interesting to to realize that like because there's a lot of lore out there like you you you um thoughts or things or whatever and you and you get into this like Way of thinking like oh, I I want to do this I want like there's a lot of desires out there, right? Like I could do this I could do a lot of directions a lot of like choose your own adventure but then you like I think something that's cool is that like it does come around if if uh, In weird ways where like you missed it. You feel like you yeah It comes back and it's like it feels like you missed it. But in reality you're doing it at the perfect time. Yeah, exactly Yeah, if I started doing stand-up when I was 19, I would have been like a little dingus like Thinking I guess that was funny. But yeah, you probably you needed all of that life experience before I when I by the time yeah by the time I stepped on the stage I already had a solid act because i've been torturing people in my life with it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah And and yeah, because you you do uh, like movie stuff like production Yeah, I kind of I work in film production in new york city, okay mostly um In the camera department, but I got into that Almost like by accident. I didn't go to film school. I didn't do I got a I got a job at a camera rental house Which is where all productions will rent the cameras and the other support for the the pro shooting You know, so they they no movie owns the cameras or anything like it's all Okay, okay And I worked at a place that when someone who was going to check out a movie or show They're going to be working on it The camera assistance was a job that I would end up having when I worked at the warehouse that rented cameras I ended up You know People who come work on movies they say like hey, do you want to like work on you know? And then you get into the union and I had no idea the the way I got into that job is a friend of mine Who used to help me with my youtube videos? Oddball matt is my old stage name from when I used to make youtube videos. Damn, dude Yeah, I was gonna ask that next if you check that out. Yeah, it's a fucking crazy, uh thing I did everything mostly with green screen and self-taught and You know, but a guy who used to help me with my videos got an internship there and he was like you got to get an internship here, it's like It's like the way to get to doing what we want to do So I I actually Was so burnt out from making my own videos and I used to make a living off of it Not living but I mean I lived in my mom's basement and I would make like three grand from youtube damn like every month But then after a while it starts to dwindle Your videos aren't getting the hits anymore and But that's the thing of like believing your own bullshit people who were making far less Good video better content like that. They weren't making as good of content I feel I mean, you know, I sound like i'm saying like i'm, you know blowing smoke up my own ass, but you know, I mean Yeah, people were putting less effort into their videos and they were better at doing the same thing. Yeah You know like and that's the thing about podcasts that's the thing about youtube stuff stuff that That I really like about stand-up is you just show up. Yeah, okay, and you're done you go And if someone likes you they say do you want to go be in my show? Whatever. Yeah, I mean it's self-serving for someone else to like you you know, I mean and whereas like You have to do so much now to get this out to get anything out. Yeah. Yeah, and the thing that That I learned from living on the internet for some time was that that The more successful people are consistent And Will make the same exact thing For 10 years And that is something that I just could never do. Yeah And even like when I was like, okay you do something like a parody of a of of of a thing, okay That would bring in a whole bunch of people because now that video is getting hits But then staying on that same but then i'm not trying to do that Then I would bring in a big audience where I then start getting hits on my other videos and then I would say okay, I got like a whole bunch of new subscribers I'm going to upload one of my original Content something that's just something came completely out of my head. Okay. Okay Yeah, then you get like this drawback like I didn't subscribe for this I need I need you know, and so all my videos were always very experimental And it was like, you know, like I guess you could put it in the realm of like a tim and eric kind of Looking kind of stuff. I'm not familiar Oh, you're not but like be like green screen and kind of like silly editing sometimes Um, if it looked bad, it was like on purpose. Okay. Yeah, I see what you're saying like like eric andre Yeah, kind of. Okay, I guess you could say that. Um, but yeah the um I was actually it's funny. They were talking about this because I was talking with these dudes last night that they're like tiktok Famous or like instagram. I don't know they have big followings. Yeah, and it's like, um Um to me now I feel like now that shit feels exhausting like this Like literally this feels like the pinnacle of what I can do in that direction of like putting out something else other than just stand-up um but like I I can't see myself like wanting to go out and shoot videos and like for like on my own like maybe like if let's say I pop on stand up and and everything goes right for me and my career goes off and And someone's like let's make a video. It's like, okay sure i'll do that if it's your thing If it's your thing to promote my thing sure yeah, like I wouldn't turn that down but like for me to be like To be like I want to make a content. I want to make content record myself and then do the editing and then upload it that seems exhausting as fuck because like even this is like A lot of fucking work. Well, then you get perfectionist Shit going on and you you hit a bubble where sometimes I would I have so many Things that I would produce like make something and then i'm editing it and i'm like I hate this. This didn't make me laugh Or or just the you you run into technical limitations This is not how I envisioned it Oh, no, but like so like I got as far as I could with what I could do on my own in my mom's basement like like literally like All by myself like if I should it's like If I show you some of the stuff you'll be like, how did you do this by yourself? like just so much editing and like Just taught myself how to just make like some some of the things that I use some software for it's like Why didn't you use this program? I was like, I don't know. I was just making that shit do what I needed it to do Yeah, yeah, because I needed it to do that like yeah, I mean you see the fucking rinky dinks I have a fucking tripod that like is shot on iphone. Yeah shout out to the iphone if this turns out well, but like I like I have literally everything else. This chair was thrifted. This desk was not even thrifted I'm sitting on fucking milk crates right now like my my production value is not high but like it is kind of like the mindset of like Just do something with it. Like this kind of fell in my lap like quite literally it was like This stuff is I don't know what's going to happen with this stuff if we don't use it you know, so I was like well fuck it like um and And i'm and i'm not putting like a ton of pressure into like This has to be perfect or like I don't even yeah, I don't know if i'm i'm putting this out Yeah, you just have to make it. I just have to do it. Yeah. Yeah and like so the whole thing doing it Yeah, yeah doing like I mean it's corny but check that out. No. No, I have I have a wall. Yeah I I did I believe in this shit. Like I really do like you gotta have that mental I have a list of things that like like I have I have a list of things in in I shot in my my home too it says like like Move on the purpose of our lives are to be is to be happy. Yeah. Yeah, you know like uh Whatever. All right. Can I can I give you one and I want to see if if this hits for you Um, i've been I enjoy this this came to me a few like probably like three weeks ago But uh, it goes uh, if you're trying you're dying if you're doing you did it If you're doing it, then if you're trying to If you're trying to Is it corn it's like a little point but it is it rhymes like there's some muhammad ol ali shit I did feel that like and I like I was like I think it was like right after I got done with the runner. It was like something I just completed that was like annoying Yeah, and I was like I was like damn dude. I didn't try to do that I did that like like if you drop that in the barber shop like everyone would be like Oh All you need is those those fucking newsy hats bro, someone throw that shit on the ground here Oh shit. Oh, yeah. Yeah But yeah, yeah, I like it You got you know what one of one of the most important things is coming up with your own principles You've probably heard me drop these like over like I the things that I say Are things like, you know, like my little sayings or whatever that i've been dropping. Yeah, these are things that are principles, this is your way of mind, yeah existing it guides me through and and and The thing is is that when you have this kind of brain, you know that a lot of people end up having you know the scatterbrained you know, it's kind of like you just gotta A principle Says that something should be a certain way not that it has to be Yeah, and it just navigates you through I I uh, I completely agree, man. I feel like I have like a very simple Like yeah, I can just read these are yeah, these are all just like principles, man Like I feel like I try and live by these and like I damn it. I don't always you know, uh Live up to them, but it is like a kind of like your own guiding system and like realizing that like One I don't actually know anything and so anything out of that scope of like knowledge that I think is good for me it's like who knows but like the the kind of guiding force behind like I like, uh, it's a principle to Like do your best like no matter what the circumstances right like there's a there's a sense of like Um Yeah, like I don't know I feel like I just guide myself, uh With like very simplistic like way of like I don't need a lot to be happy I just need to be doing something that fulfills me and like, you know, well since you brought it back around I'll i'll drop one of my things that I always said to myself When I was trying to put together stuff like in my youtube times and everything. Yeah Yeah Just you just got to do the best you can with what you have. Yeah. Yeah, and whatever you produce Is is that? like whatever you're going for maybe you're going for that and you run it through the filter of your brain and like The ability and like your technology that you have to produce something And that's that's what it is So that's what's special about what you can make with that, you know Doing the best you can with what you have is it becomes what you your style and then you keep doing that And it becomes a style, you know, yeah, and I think um Yeah, just for the brain of like the perfectionist. It's like uh I don't know. I feel like there is kind of big a big wave of like a lot of people being like well Wow, everyone has a podcast. Why would I do that or like this kind of like it's not it's not an original thing so why should I and then it's like Well, because you're still creating something it's not it's That you're still giving yourself an outlet to do something and to release Some creative energy and I think even either way that that's good for you. That's good muscle to flex either way Even like who cares if like what mice you have what your fucking setup looks like It's it's the idea that you're doing this like is hard enough. Yeah setting this up Yeah, dude. I don't like I literally fucking had to google all this shit and just like figure it out. Yeah Yeah, so like I don't know man. I think that's probably a good place to end it actually like yeah I think this has been fun, man. Yeah. Yeah, you don't want to end up with the three hour podcast You got to chop down dude. I don't know Fall in love with it, too. You gotta really be able to find like Listen through and like just chop. I think honestly all i'm getting all the editing I'm gonna I can't say this for sure all the editing I think i'm going to do is like cutting off the top where we're like fucking around with things And then the bathroom break, right? Um, hopefully and you mark that I didn't fuck. No, I didn't do that. We'll find that eventually you're going to be scrubbing Yeah. All right, man. Thank you so much. This is awesome All right, I think you want to say i'm oddball matt Okay, hold on. Can we can we get on to the intro? No, I want to get on to why you went by oddball matt I want to Is that Who cares if that's a quick story? I just want to know. Yeah. What where does it come from?
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