RYAN17

The speaker discusses a recent situation involving childcare and parenting decisions. They mention a cruise planned for the upcoming week and talk about interactions with the child's mother. The speaker expresses frustration over the child's behavior and the need for clear boundaries. They emphasize the importance of communication and discipline. The speaker also highlights the child's need for interaction with other kids and expresses concerns about the current custody arrangement. The conversation delves into the challenges of co-parenting and the speaker's desire for more time with the child. There are also mentions of emotional breakdowns, stress, and past experiences influencing parenting decisions. The speaker expresses a desire for more involvement in the child's life and raises concerns about the child's well-being and development. The conversation touches on personal experiences, frustrations, and the speaker's commitment to being a responsible parent. Okay, so, um, you had told me last night that you wanted me to text you for like a week? Yeah. Or, yeah, just so... I mean, you can call. I know Hayden already talked to me. So, um... So, basically, you'll have cruise this coming-up week from, like, Wednesday after dinner. So, this Wednesday or the one after? I'm sorry. No, this Wednesday. Okay. Yeah, like, this week Wednesday. That's why it was no big deal for me to take cruise last night or nothing like that. It was a bit of a surprise that it just turned around. Woo! My heart was pounding. But, like, we were driving by and he was screaming. He was like, look at daddy's house. I was like, look at daddy's house. It's like a thousand dollars. I'm stopping it. Not because I wanted to, like, cause a scene. And I wasn't being ornery to you. It has been so long. Ever since you and I started, like, you know, being decent. And I was like, what the hell? What's your deal, woman? Like, pick a personality. Let's keep it. Well, I know, but she was maybe more shocked than me. And then the next thing I know, or the next thing she knew, I called her. I said, well, we're just going to keep cruise since you're going to have them early. She's like, what the fuck? He doesn't have socks on? Is that okay? Isn't it his bedtime? And I go, yeah, that's fine. So, you just stayed up. Well, yeah. She wasn't trying to be rude. She was just kind of like, what the fuck's going on here? No, no, I understand that. But here's where I come from. Like, when, okay. It just makes me mad because, like, shit like that. We used to go back to the roller dome. And, like, everyone was there because, like, we had, like, speed skating. And, you know, he takes his socks off in the car. I'm not detrimental to that kid. I love him. And so there should be no questioning. Like, I don't question why he has a fucking huge bump on his head. So, like that before? Yeah. She wasn't questioning me. You're misunderstanding me. She wasn't questioning, like, what food is okay or not. It was just more of, it was just like, well, what's going on? Okay, well, if you're going to stay here, let's check in for outside and blah, blah, blah. So, anyways. Okay. Because I just saw you power down like a little baby. I was all around you. Look at Ryan just be like, oh, I'm here. Lie down. I was like, whoa. Somebody got a ball snapped out. Fuck. Oh, that's cute, though. She's crying by the balls. But, anyways, yeah. I purely just did it because I knew you guys had a separation drop in the car. I was like, oh, it's not easy. You know, I'm screaming back there, like, super tired. I didn't do anything. I was on my phone with Michael. I was hungry. He had a Frankenstein burger and all that other crap from there. Yeah, I just went to Burger King, and that's why I went that way. Because I got him a freaking ice cream. Oh, that's funny. When he got here, he ate cheese, crackers, cheddar soup. And I just thought, well, he's just hungry. He's not grumpy. He wasn't crying at all. He did get scared of my dad a little bit in his grandma's car. Oh, yeah. And then prior to the road trip, because we were only there for about an hour, we went to the L.A.C. I don't know. What have you been doing when he sort of fits with you? Do you just let him go? But he doesn't do that. That's what Autumn was like. Oh, no. So this morning, first thing this morning, he just come unglued. It was like 7 this morning. Just screaming and crying. I went to go give him a bottle. He fucking throws it. Then I hand him his pinky. He throws it. I grabbed him and I spanked his butt three times. And I laid him down and I gave him his pinky and I told him, absolutely not okay. And then he just stayed there. And then I started to go out of the room again. And so he started to, like, kind of yell and scream. And then I walked back and I pulled his leggings back and I spanked his butt again. Oh, Ryan, that's awful. I understand. No, I understand. But listen. At that point, he understands that it's not okay. So after that, yeah, it's not like he gets spanked like a big kid. It's just more of an emotional shocker, you know? Well, okay, here's the thing. I'm so fucking passionate on this right now. And so I'm like, ah. So anyway, from there, then he's fine. But I even told Autumn, I go, absolutely not. I said, if there's no fucking guidelines or boundaries set right now, I said, it's just going to be an absolute continuous nightmare. Oh, listen. You need to let me have that kid more. Like, seriously, because I'm with him a lot and I can be. And I still haven't fucked yet. But. Well, I know, but what I'm saying is attitude-wise. Attitude? No, I know, but listen. Like, no, listen. I have fucked up with Blakely. That little girl, I gave her everything. And I was like, I'm not going to do the same thing because that little girl left it all over me. And it was only because her dad died and I was like, I had to give her everything. And, you know, eight years later, I'm much wiser. I get to wake up with him and he's like, hey, buddy. And then he has his day. And yeah, like, if he has something and I'm like, no, he's like, falls on the ground. I'm like, let's stop it. You know, like, and I don't just give it to him back. I was like, this is a no, no, you know? And so like that. But then like the head pounding and not stop. Listen, no, stop. Don't fuck with me, please. And so the head pounding and the little things and I'm not little things are huge. I'm not talking and everything. And I'm just like, you need to talk to me about this. And I told Autumn the other day. Did she tell you that I texted her? Oh, she told me that you texted and wanted to know about, please. Oh, a few days here, a few days there. And I just told her that I haven't talked to her here. I said, but that's not going to work. I said that. And she's like, oh, honey. She's like, that is not a good sign. And she's like, she's stressed out. Like, there's a huge difference between you guys in the household. There is. Like, and he's just like, and the fact that you said that, and I know that you love him. I fucking do because I saw it. You know, last night I like walked away and I felt good because I was like, oh, man, look at him. He's loving on him. But. Well, he doesn't have, we have no issues. With him emotionally at all. But that was an emotional breakdown. Like, what was that? That was an emotional breakdown. When he wants to throw a fit over things, here's the thing. He has only one way of communicating, right? And so he's not going to understand words, like if you tell him. I mean, you still have to tell him so that he learns expression and words and terminology and stuff like that. But if he just sits there and screams and screams and screams, and the only thing, let's say that Blakely doesn't want to hear it. So she picks him up. But he doesn't do that fucking thing. So she picks him up. Why does he have to? Why does he have to fucking freak? Because if I take away something, like I just sit down and I look him in the eye and I'm like, hey, buddy. Like, no, no, no. Okay. And. Because he only has one way of communicating. That's either to go, eh, eh, eh, like he's asking for something without yelling. Or if he tries because he's hungry or has a diaper, like that's his communication. But when he throws a fit because he's mad about something, that's where you've got to kind of just at that point as a parent, you just have to draw that line. That line of communication. Because there are no. The kid is fucking stressed out. The fact that he's. Yes, he is. The fact that he's one years old. And, you know, like close to. And the fact that he's even like older. Like, that's just sad. The whole fucking thing is bad. I read it. I read it. I talked to fucking counselors and I'm like, what the fuck? No, this is bad. And you guys live. I mean, the reason why I moved here. I hate Nampa. I hate Nampa. I've never lived in Nampa except for when, you know, with you. And the house over there. Well, originally you moved because you and Tony were going to live together and get married. No. I wanted to move. No, I moved because I could be close to you. The times like these when he is sick, I can go grab him and you guys are doing stuff. It just makes sense. It makes sense. Why would I want to live in Boise when I can be close to. It does. Yeah. And so the fact that it's 50-50, it makes no sense. I understand the whole. No, it does not. We don't live far from each other. And I want him to go to daycare. I want him to go to daycare. I want him to interact with children. Of course I do. Do we freaking go to other places? He just loves it. Do we go to Jabbers? We go to Wings and we do all those things. And he loves that. I understand that. He loves to take a break as well. We go to daycare two days a week, Lindsey. Okay. I'm thinking. Those are great benefits. Those are amazing. But. And we send him to daycare specifically for interaction. Not because of anything else, but he does need to interact with kids. That's what I'm saying. There is all that. So why can't there be more of. So these kids block. And that is where I think that he is growing his frustration. Because the kid is fucking stressed out. He loves me. And to be away from somebody you love. That just uses stupidly. Like, Autumn, you love her. We took a long fucking time. You know, he loves you guys. But I get to have more and more of him all the time. Right. But you also have to understand that up until. Even like right now. Now that you're single, you're going to want to go out. I don't want to. No, I don't. I want to focus on my kids. No, listen. It's just reality. Okay, that's fine. It's reality. So we're probably always right here and just say, hey, four and four seems good. You know, there's something. Like, don't say this offense is so ridiculous. Because it's not. Well, the thing of it is, is it's seven days a week. And so. Yes, and four and three and three and four. And I want to tell you something. I've talked to your lawyer. And even on his website, because he's like the dad's rights activist. But he's like the huge one of Idaho. And even on his website, if you read it, it says certain diet or certain steps, certain ages where he doesn't think that it's, you know, appropriate for the kid to be 50-50 or anywhere from their mother, you know, even overnight. But, you know, during the day. And so I was like, oh, I can't believe that. I even bowed down to that. But it's fine. Like, I just thought. Our situation is just different, though. It's not, though. We have two different households. And so. But now I'm closer. And I'm closer. And it's not a big deal. It's not a big deal. To call him during the week and to hear him. For my purpose of home and stability. Hey, but you're thinking about you. You're fucking thinking about you. Yes, you are. I'm thinking about my whole family, not Ryan. I'm talking myself. Yeah, but your whole family has a voice. Your whole family points to their emotions. This little guy, until he speaks, I think that it should be a little bit more flexible. Until he can say, I want to go to daddy's. You could tell that little kid by pulling one over on you. Like, I'm just a fucking load of shit and I want to go to dad's right now because I get my way. Or vice versa. Right. And so until then, so I can spend more time with him. It's fine for us to be flexible. I'm not against being flexible. The only thing that it is, is when we have them all week long, I get to plan what I'm going to do as a family because you know as well as I do. Well, that's fine because then I can be like, hey, I'll see you in 3.5 seconds, you know, and I can cruise him right over and you can have him this day and we can sit down, we can share good times, and I can have time with him, and then just let him know I keep going to daddy's, you know, and then that, and then you can whatever. Like, it's not, it just makes no sense to me. And it makes no sense as to why he's doing all these things other than the little kid is fucking stressed the fuck out. And my intentions weren't to drop him off last night. I'm fucking sad about this. The more that you keep a consistent home, the better. My home is consistent. I'm going nowhere. I'm saying, I know, but for him, for him, you have to look at the last year. The moves, the changes, the shit going on. Let's face it, you've been a stressed out fucking nightmare. And I can't imagine that the home was any less stressful from having cops coming in and out, CPS coming in and out, like all this shit with... Yeah, but that wasn't anything in my home. And it's not like, that wasn't anything in my home. That was more or less, like, things that were being said. You're stressed out and you're mad as a girl and you're stressed out. And CPS is coming knocking on my door, knocking on your door. I mean, let's face it, the last year has not been smooth at all. No. It might have been smooth for like the last month or so. And I'm thankful for that. But were those things that were like, Ryan. And it has been flexible. You would call me before and say, Ryan, I just need you to keep them, there's things going on, blah, blah, blah. Okay, but here's my flexibility. You're still here. I hate him. You're going to have him. So for the next two months I've got some shit going on on Monday and Wednesday. But then I also have to take him. He has some important stuff to do from Wednesday through Sunday. And that's how it's going to be. Okay. And don't expect me to hit him then. It's rude. Any other time you keep him, if you want him, you can keep him. And I'm okay with that. I really am. I'm okay with flexibility. I just feel that. So if I were to call him up just because I'm like, hey, if you guys got nothing going on for the next few days, can I keep him? Because I want to take him, blah, blah, blah, and I've got some stuff going on. Do you allow that? I raised my money like that, and it was very easy. And then once the kids started talking, I said, hey, I want to go to mom's, I want to go to dad's. It's not a big deal. Same thing. And here's another thing. I have been through a really rough road with distrust and frustration. It wasn't just distrust, right? Oh, it was distrust? Yeah, because he would try to – I don't know if he thought I was drinking. I thought just that I did. If he even thought I was drinking, I would, like, forget it. Or, like, try to reflect it. Oh, maybe he did. No, you're wrong. Anyways, long story short, once things – I don't know when it happened or whatnot, but once Autumn started, like, being pretty cool, and then it seemed like, okay, well, all right, we'll find out. Like, that's some shit. Like, okay, good. And I've been so freaking nice, and I always include her. I was like, give us three, and thank you so much, and I appreciate you, and you've been so great. And, you know, like, she's lucky to have you. She's always so lucky, though. No. That's just the way it should be. It shouldn't be like – That's exactly how it should be. So why did when she started being that way, I changed? I changed because I thought. I wasn't blind before. And now I see again. And the chaos definitely looks different. Really? I'm going to be here for the next fucking 17 days. Part of that is my fault. Part of that is my fault. Well, yeah, and definitely your fault with the friends, too. I'll roll through there, like, say hi to everybody. No, it's my fault because, you know, the night that – you know the night you came over to get Cruz and stuff? Yeah. Okay, well, Cruz was throwing a fit that whole time at dinner, and I had made that dinner. She wanted to go out on a date for her birthday for Italian food, and she wanted, like, seafood pasta and stuff. Well, then we got to this restaurant, and it was reservations only, and I was like, ah, I don't have reservations because I didn't even know I could take you to dinner if I was driving the truck that night. So then she was like, oh, okay. So then I told her, I said, I'll cook dinner for you tonight or Sunday night for the whole family. Yeah, I know. When am I ever going to get sick? So then at that point, at that point, Cruz was throwing a fit. Cruz was throwing a fit, and so Autumn was, like, trying to eat her dinner on top of, like, her and all the other kids. Well, then she sits down, her dinner's fucking getting cold, and my mom goes and came over. So her dinner's getting cold. And you came over, and I was like, hey, do you want to play? And I just wasn't thinking. It was just me being nice, you know. Well, then I take your plate, and I get you some potatoes and some onions. No, because it was before then. I feel it. No, I know. My heart is fucking sensitive. So if she's like, I got to take the wheel off, then I'm, I know. So she says, let me finish driving. So anyways, I wasn't fucking thinking. And so after you left, I came, I was walking up, and Autumn was smoking a cigarette, and I go, what's going on? She goes, really? What's going on? She made this as my birthday fucking dinner. I attended to all of our children this whole time. I haven't even been able to eat. And you make Wednesday a part of my fucking birthday dinner, and she's going to eat before I get to eat? Oh, he's, it doesn't matter. And I was like, I was like, Autumn, I really didn't like to do that to upset you. And she goes, Ryan, I was nice to her. She says, and that's fine. She says, but you know what, there's some things that you just need to think. And I said it, I love you because you're nice, but, you know, come on. And I was just like, okay. Okay, but I thought you guys went out prior to that, like the night before. That was your whole guy's birthday. We did. But didn't get to go eat because it was reservation only, and I didn't know that. But I'm sure you could have banged it out, and it's fine. Like, I understand that. That's great. But anyway, so then she got all ready for her Halloween party, you know, and then she was like, what the fuck's going on, Ryan? She was like, now instead of me getting to do things, now what? Now you have to take care of kids and put them to bed and get them dressed. And I was like, no, I'll go do it. She's like, you can't go do that. I'm the woman. I will take care of it. She goes, but did you know? And I'm like, no. No, I didn't. And then I go talk to her. And I didn't, did I ask you? Did you tell her I didn't ask you? No, you didn't. I was kidding because you're his dad. You can see his brothers from the freaking shitty night. Like, he wasn't feeling very good. And I was like, hey. It wasn't a big deal. Okay. It really wasn't a big deal. Selfish. I told Autumn. I told Autumn. I'm like, no, I told her. Hey, you said, since you're having troops for this week, then go ahead and just leave them and we'll take them for the rest of the week. Because we had matching shirts the other day. I know it. I knew it. And she was just like, oh, okay. That's cool. But she didn't know, like, what the scenario was. Like, did you just pop them off and be like, here, I'm out of here. Or what? Anyways. Or just previously, like after, she thought you went behind her back or something? Well, she thought that you just, like, was, all she heard was, well, Cruz was crying, so I stopped by. And she was thinking, well, uh, no. Like, what the fuck. Well, it's kind of a happy thought. She thought what I had done was told you, hey, why don't you come by, hang out, and bring Cruz. And then she was mad that Cruz wasn't in his costume and blah, blah, blah. She doesn't like math. Autumn doesn't get math. She just gets her feelings hurt. So then she gets quite frustrated with me. But she doesn't, like, get louder. Okay. My whole scenario was, like, she was being super awesome to me, and I was like, heck yeah. Like, I even told people, I was like, that girl, she's just being nice, and I'm going to fucking respect that. And so, anyways, like, then you come around, and like, you're nice, and like, blah. You still have, like, ulterior motives. Come behind. But then I was like, you know, like, maybe it's just different. No, she has not. No. No. No, I have not. No. No. I just think maybe it was more or less, like, she got to spend more one-on-one time because you were doing the hardest. And, you know, that she got to be the fucking real Autumn. Like, maybe she was a really good person, and you're just talking mad shit, and you still want to ban me. I'm kidding. I'm joking. But, you know, maybe. You know. Anyways, I thought it was the pictures. I honestly did. I was like, maybe it's just because I sent him pictures. Did you fucking tell her that? I squirted that out. On you, in the face. She didn't see the pictures. Right, okay. Okay. Because I'm like, uh-uh, no, no, no. I was ruining it. Let's put it this way. I would not intentionally try to create any fucking hammock or drama in between the three of us, period, because I'm going to end up being with her for the rest of my life. The last thing I need is for her to be thinking that either I'm fucking you, or that, like, no. It's not. That is not. That is not ever going to happen. You know? Okay. That's what I never understood. I'm like, why is it so fucking hard? It's going to be so hard. Like, I understand, you know, what it's like to have separate households, and so, I don't know. I just see things, and I fucking pay so much attention to them, and I just see when changes happen, and I'm like, why? And I question them, because I wear my heart on my sleeve, and I'm just like, what's going on? And they go, yeah. I don't over-read, because it's true. No, because it's true. Yes, it is. No, because when it changes, then I can see, and I know how to react personally. Like, I know how to react. I'm not going to be nice to some asshole. I'm not. That's just who I am. And I'm not going to be nice to some bitch. I'm not. But once you give me a little respect, I'm going to give you that a fucking ten times more. And so, yeah. I go out of my way. Yes, I will. Only when you're happy. Bullshit. Because I go out of my way. Do you think I've been happy? No. I've been through so much freaking shit. Especially this summer. So I go out of my way, and I'm like, hey. That's what I'm saying. This summer, you were not a nice girl. And now, there you have all this shit out of your plate. How's that, though? About two months. Stringy, be real with yourself. Okay. Ever since, Tony has left. He hasn't been on a meeting, though. He comes back, and he beats my fucking ass, and then he fucking leaves, because he's a bad ass, and I can't say anything, because I fucking hate getting anybody involved. No, because you know nothing. You know nothing. No, because I know a ton. No, you don't. Because, no. Ever since you started dating Tony, ever since you started dating Tony, your whole attitude changed. Then it got way shitty. Then it got mean. Then it got even meaner. And then once Tony was gone, and you were kind of like, okay, now Tony's gone, then all of a sudden, that's when you were like, okay, I'm going to just be nice. We're going to make this thing work. Okay. Yeah. I can call Ryan, and I can get through this. Or he can call me, and I can get him. Do you remember this was ever even a parcel of a discussion when you were in this relationship? Yeah, but he's been around, I mean, even before, but I'm an idiot, and then he fucking hits my ass, and then I'm like, fuck you, bye, and then he comes back, because I'm fucking nosy, and I'm sad, and I'm pathetic, and it's still a bit of shit show, but like, no, it's all about reflecting, you guys, and I see what I go out of my way, and I see now. It's your environment. It's your environment that is fucking you. My environment? Think about it. What do you mean about my environment? If Tony's exes were not creating so much fucking havoc, stress, police, this, that, and all the other, I'm pretty sure you would not have been, or at least I would hope that you wouldn't have been doing the dumbass things that were happening, you know? That's all I'm saying. I'm a dumbass on my own, okay? Because I sure do suck, don't you get it? Mm-hmm. Look in the mirror. No, I'm kidding. I'm kidding. No, but honestly, it's something I saw, and I personally am like, okay, well, if she's being cool, I'm going to be cool. And I get it. I know when it's like fearsome and current, but she should know you well enough to know that you weren't doing it any other way, and yet again, we're women. Right. So that's up. But hey, yeah, so the 50-50 thing, I don't know if anybody, even that I hear in certain Maybe I've passed up something that I'm going to have to be approved, and I might just be making random phone calls, like in the evening, and just like, hey, can I just say good night? Like, because I know, like I told you before, if you start saying da-da, and then he hears you talk. This is what I'm up for, okay? When I get back, when I get back, and I can fucking let my mind settle and grasp things, because I've literally been going 100 miles an hour, and I just need to get all my shit, find that man a link to see what the hell's going on, what everything's doing, and we'll leave things the way they are, and then you and I are just going to try to communicate through things, and just try it that way, because if we really need a piece of paper to structure shit out, we, to me, that is, I should find that, you know what I'm saying? I said this to Autumn, did she not read it to you? Did she not read you when I wrote her? No, this is exactly what she said. Lindy would like to talk to you, and this is about the subject. Autumn and I don't cross certain lines. There's no line. I love her. I love her. I know. All three of us need to sit down. That is a conversation, that is a conversation for you and I. No, it's different. How? When she has conversations with, like, her kids' dad, I have her. Like, I give her my opinion, and I'll be supportive, but at the end of the day, that's Mason's children and Autumn's children, and I will support their decision, period. You know what I mean? So, that's where you and I need to... Yeah, but he doesn't contact you. He doesn't speak with you. He doesn't, you know what I mean? He doesn't text you about the children. He doesn't do that. I do that with her. So, I included her, because I consider her stepmom of a new child. Okay, I know you are. And I respect that. Let me get into the kids. Let me get into the kids, so they're just going to stand up and they're talking. Wednesday after dinner, we'll bring Cruz back, and then I will touch bases with you on Sunday evening. I hope to be back by Sunday evening of the following week. Love your face, friends. Bye. Bye.