Kate Levinson-Podcast-Unplanned Change and Resilience

(00:14) Kate: Amy Levenson is a 54-year-old mother of two children. She also just happens to be my mother. Growing up, like many children, I always thought of my mom as invincible, born with a unique kind of resilience that only a mother seemed to be equipped with. She was always able to hide her emotions, covering them up with convenient smiles and laughs, even in incredibly difficult situations. I was curious to know a moment in her life in which it was hard to keep up this act. I asked her to “recall a time when you felt as though your world was falling apart.” (00:44) Amy: A time that I feel like my world was falling apart is when I had a very stable life. I had a husband. I had two children. I had a beautiful home. I had pets. And I thought that that was exactly how my life would be forever. And while it wasn't perfect, it was a life that I knew would be good for myself and for my two children. And so one day, I was at home and it was a cold, snowy day. (1:33) Kate: Amy was living what most would describe as the picture-perfect suburban life until she wasn't. (1:39) Amy: And my then-husband came into the house and he said, I'd like to take the kids sledding. And so that was sort of a surprise to me, but I thought, well, that would be fun. So I got things ready, made some hot chocolate, got snow clothes ready, sent the two kids outside with their dad. And he just happened to come back in and he had an envelope in his hand and he handed it to me and left. And when I opened it up, it said, “If you're reading this, I'm going to be filing for a divorce.” (2:21) Kate:Twenty-one years of marriage were ripped out from under her on that snowy morning, seemingly without warning. (2:26) Amy: That was the day I thought my whole world was going to fall apart. So for the next few weeks, I made every effort to try to change that situation in any way that I could. But it continued to feel as if there was no return of that world falling apart. And so my priority just came to trying to keep as much together during that time as I could for my kids and to make sure that they had some sort of a future and that I also had a future that would be stable enough to figure out a future ahead. (3:26) Kate: My mom didn't have an easy childhood. (3:29) Amy: In my life, I've had many incidents, more when I was young, like very young, that I thought my world had fallen apart. Wasn't sure where I was living or who I was living with or if I was going to be living anywhere. But suddenly, this seemed to be the most catastrophic event. And I think partly the reason for those feelings was that it wasn't just me. (3:59) Kate: And yet my mother found resilience, never letting me or my older brother Jake see her struggle. Through her incredible perseverance and support from her family and friends, she was able to put her life back together, even though it wasn't easy. (4:14) Amy: So I think sometimes when you expect something to go one way and it goes the complete opposite way, that's when things feel as if they're clearly falling apart and that you might not be able to recover. But I guess what I learned is you have to recover whether you want to or not or whether you think it's possible or not.