Portfolio Project 1

The speaker's parents are supportive of their physical and mental well-being. The speaker was under a lot of stress during their sophomore year and began self-harming. They reached out to their father, who works as a sheriff's deputy, for help. The father immediately came home and comforted the speaker. The speaker's brother also struggled with mental health. The family had a conversation about the speaker's hallucinations, depression, and anxiety. The speaker's mental health issues resurfaced in junior year, accompanied by insomnia. The speaker finds solace in the music of Shinedown, particularly the song "Dysfunctional You," which resonates with their experiences. I have the best parents in the world. Not only do they love and care for me for my physical well-being, but they also worry about my mental health and my mental well-being. It all started sophomore year. I was under a lot of stress because I was trying to figure out my life. Life seemed like it was coming at me too fast, and I broke. For roughly a month, I suppressed all my emotions and became numb. So numb, in fact, that I began harming myself. I would stab myself with pencils, cut myself with keys, and punch walls until my hands bled. This is where I knew I was in trouble. One night, I just couldn't handle it. I had thought to suicide and leaving everything behind. But instead of following through with it, I decided to make a call for help. That call for help didn't involve the suicide hotline, but something better. The one person I called I knew had training and experience to handle these sorts of situations, my dad. See, he's a sheriff's deputy, so he has the training to deal with these experiences. Aside from this, he also has talked to several people and talked them off the ledge, so to speak. So I sent him a text. I couldn't tell you the exact text, but it was along the lines of me wanting to end my life and how I felt worthless. As soon as I sent this text, he was just pulling into work. He doesn't remember exactly where he was, but he was either in the locker room getting ready for work or just pulling into work. Either way, it doesn't matter. He read my text and immediately talked to his boss. He was given the green light to come home and make sure I didn't do something that I wouldn't have the chance to regret. As he drove home, he called my mother, who was asleep in the other room. She was confused as she thought she was dreaming, but turns out her worst nightmare had come to life. She was about to lose her son, the same thing that almost claimed her first. See, my brother also deals with mental health issues. His breakdown was much later in life. He went to University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee and got lost in the middle of it. He ended up checking himself into a hospital and getting the professional care he needed. I was only in eighth grade at the time. This broke my heart to see my big brother, someone who I look up to, broken down so much that he almost lost his way. As my father drove home, he couldn't help but blame himself for reasons that shall remain unsaid. The only thought that went through his head as he drove the 15-20 minutes home were, how am I going to fix this? What do I need to do to fix my son? While all of this was going on, I sat in the dining room, awaiting the arrival of my savior. When he got home, my dad ran to the table and gave me a hug. All I could do was hug and cry my eyes out. My mom and sister came out of their respective rooms and gave me a hug as well. We all sat at the dining room table and had a conversation. I told them about my hallucinations, hearing voices that weren't really there, my depression, and my anxiety. I was fearful of what I might do whenever I was alone. I didn't think I could trust myself driving to trap shooting practice while traveling with a firearm and ammunition. Life seemed to come spiraling down onto me. After our conversation, we decided to keep an eye on me and that I wouldn't be left alone with anything. Fast forward to my junior year, the same issues rose up again, but this time it came with insomnia. I couldn't sleep at all, and this went on for months before I was able to be checked out by a doctor. This was the year that Planet Zero was released by Shinedown. I've always loved Shinedown because of their advocation for mental health and being yourself. It also helps that I know the guitarist, Zach Myers, personally. He's the cousin of my best friend and brother from another mother. And I had gotten to meet him several times at family events where I was invited. Dysfunctional You is one of my mom's favorite tracks from the album. It perfectly articulates what my parents told me that night during my sophomore year, that I should just be myself and... I don't know. The lyrics are perfect for me because it makes me feel less alone in this world with my mental health issues.