Step 4 of the 12 x 12

This transcription discusses the concept of human instincts and how they can sometimes go haywire and lead to unintended consequences. It emphasizes the importance of understanding and examining our own behavior and motivations through a process called a searching and fearless moral inventory. The text also explores the connection between unchecked instincts and issues such as alcoholism and the seven deadly sins. It suggests that real change requires action and offers practical tips on how to transform our shortcomings and align our actions with our values. The journey of personal growth is described as messy and nonlinear, but it can lead to greater compassion and understanding towards ourselves and others. Ultimately, this journey has a ripple effect on our relationships and how we see the world. ever find yourself like totally engrossed in a book and then BAM you hit a passage that just stops you in your tracks makes you think right totally and that's what we're going for today we're taking a deep dive into some excerpts about human nature specifically instincts we're talking those deep-seated drives all humans share the good the bad the whole messy shebang and from what I'm gathering these excerpts don't sugarcoat things not at all they call instincts these God-given forces essential to our survival and all but also prone to going a little haywire exactly they can easily become excessive and wind up causing us a whole heap of trouble okay so let's break that down we're talking to things like our need for security our desire for connection even sex drive it's all in there right all these natural necessary instincts but the text argues they can get out of hand lead to some shall we say unintended consequences big-time it's like imagine someone consumed by the need for financial security understandable right absolutely but then it morsened to disobsession they hoard money they shut themselves off from others and they miss out on so much of what makes life meaningful exactly they might be financially secure but at what cost they've traded one kind of security for a different much lonelier one right like they built a fortress but they're trapped inside and this idea of misdirected instincts it's not just an individual thing it plays out on a grand scale to think about the craving for power how many times have we seen that go unchecked and lead to well disaster wars dictatorships all the way down to toxic workplaces probably exactly so we're not just talking about some abstract philosophy here this is about understanding the driving forces behind some very real-world issue this is definitely shaping up to be a deep dive oh and it gets even more intense the text specifically calls out alcoholism actually it suggests that unchecked instincts are often fueling that whole destructive cycle whoa okay that's a heavy one how does that connect back to this idea of instincts gone awry well think about the emotions that often go hand-in-hand with addiction fear frustration this feeling of like powerlessness definitely and alcohol it can become a way to numb those feelings out or to grasp at some semblance of control even if it's an illusion a temporary escape exactly but as this text points out it doesn't solve the problem if anything it just makes theirs worse in the long run so where do we even begin to address these powerful forces within us it's like how do you reason with a hurricane or I don't know a tiger right exactly a hungry tiger well the text suggests something called a searching and fearless moral inventory yeah basically it's about taking a really deep honest look at our own behavior and the motivations behind it hmm you know just hearing those words searching and fearless I'm already feeling a little resistance yeah like maybe I'd rather not look that closely it's totally natural this whole idea can be really intimidating the text even acknowledges that our instinct is usually to avoid self-reflection at all costs oh 100% yeah way easier to blame things on external factors I just downplay our flaws altogether yeah it's way more comfortable just tell ourselves we're good people that our past good deeds make up for any slip-ups right right like I held the door open for someone earlier so it's fine if I but the text pushes back on that it challenges us to look deeper to ask ourselves are we really being honest or are we just protecting ourselves that is the million-dollar question isn't it and the text it doesn't let us off easy it pushes us to move past those defense mechanisms and get to the heart of the matter and because things weren't already intense enough it brings in the seven deadly sins as a framework for this whole moral inventory pride envy gluttony all the classics right the whole gang's here but what I find fascinating is how the text presents these sins as exaggerated versions of our basic instincts so like greed for instance exactly at its core it often comes from this primal fear of scarcity that deep-seated need for security but amplified way out of proportion so we're talking about understanding the why behind our behavior yeah not just slapping labels on ourselves like I'm good or I'm bad and calling it a day right but how do we actually move past the fear of this whole process because honestly it sounds pretty daunting well the text stresses the importance of approaching this whole inventory of the spirit of humility not judgment it's not about beating ourselves up for our flaws but getting curious about them okay that feels a little less terrifying it's tough there's no doubt about it but facing that fear head-on the text seems to suggest that's the first step to making real lasting change so it's about facing our shadows in a way yes that takes guts but I have feeling this is just the tip of the iceberg like it's like the text was saying this moral inventory thing it's like shining a light into all those shadowy corners of our minds the places we'd rather not go exactly we all have them those instinctual patterns driving our behavior underneath the surface the stuff we don't even realize is there half the time okay so it's not just about identifying those patterns then nope it's about figuring out what to actually do with that knowledge now you're getting it because I mean knowing ourselves better right that's only helpful if it actually leads to positive change otherwise what's the point 100% this is about taking ownership of those instincts understanding how they influence everything our thoughts feelings actions the whole shebang recognizing we always have a choice in how we respond to those primal urges so less about like erasing our instincts altogether which let's be real sounds impossible yeah kind of hard to erase your survival instinct right so it's more about learning to manage those instincts more skillfully like instead of that drive for security manifesting is hoarding money which we talked about it could be channeled into building a life of meaning and purpose exactly redirecting all that energy towards something more fulfilling what about our need for connection I mean we're social creatures right hardwired for it but instead of seeking validation from like fleeting things Instagram likes that sort of thing oh yeah the endless scroll for validation we can focus on building authentic connections in the real world there you go it's a profound shift honestly moving from chasing external validation to cultivating this deep sense of self-worth that comes from within this is all incredibly insightful but what comes next we've like bravely faced our flaws we're working on understanding this whole instinctual baggage thing right where do we go from here well the text is very clear on this point true change requires action oh boy here it comes it's not enough to just acknowledge our shortcomings we need to actively work on transforming them so does it offer any like practical tips on how to do that I'm going to go out on a limb here and say it's got to be more than just willpower you're telling me if willpower was all it took we'd all be like enlightened beings by now right it suggests we use this newfound self-awareness to one make amends for past mistakes wherever possible to start making different choices in the present and three face those future challenges with a little more well awareness and compassion may be absolutely more compassion both for ourselves and others honestly so it's about aligning our actions with our values then exact breaking free from those old ingrained patterns that no longer service however deeply rooted they might be it's not easy that's for sure and here's the important part recognizing that personal growth it's a journey not a destination oh I've heard that before but it's true and it's often messy nonlinear this constant process of becoming more compassionate more dare I say it human there you go but that whole process it can be challenging even when we have the best of intentions any advice on navigating those inevitable bumps in the road because let's be real we're all going to hit them oh yeah count on it but the text it emphasizes approaching ourselves with compassion like viewing those inevitable stumbles as opportunities for learning and growth not as failures so it's about building up that inner resilience that's the goal we're all going to stumble from time to time yeah it's how we pick ourselves back up and keep moving forward that really matters in the end right goodness that better myself and here's the good news okay we don't have to do it alone so it sounds like this whole self-improvement journey it's not about reaching some like picture-perfect version of ourselves right nope not about perfection at all more about embracing the whole messy imperfect process of growth you got it yeah it's about progress not perfection as they say cheesy but true for all works in progress you know constantly learning evolving hopefully becoming a little wiser along the way a little more compassionate I like this and this whole journey it doesn't just impact us individually it has this ripple effect outward you mean like into our relationships our work everything how we see the world even okay so how does that work well when we're willing to confront our own stuff you know our shadows yeah exactly to understand the why behind those moments when we're not exactly our best selves it actually makes us more understanding and compassionate toward others we've all been there right exactly we're less quick to judge less likely to get thrown off by behaviors that might have once pushed our button because now we kind of get it we can see the humanity beneath the behavior makes it yeah so it's like we're less reactive yeah less likely to take things so personally when we understand those deeper forces that are at play within ourselves and in others absolutely there's that saying hurt people hurt people yeah I've heard that but the opposite is true too you know healed people they can heal the world around them Wow it's powerful stuff it is so by doing this inner work that searching and fearless moral inventory we thought well it's not just about like self-improvement in a vacuum then nope it's about contributing to this ripple effect of greater understanding and compassion in the world exactly and that's what I find so hopeful about this whole process you know it's not about reaching this destination where we're all perfectly evolved beings or whatever no more human flaws it's about embracing the whole sometimes messy often beautiful process of being human the whole shebang the whole shebang and recognizing that we all have these instincts these desires that sometimes contradict each other right and that's okay it's what we do with them that matters 100% it's about taking responsibility for our actions learning from our mistakes and trying to live in a way that feels aligned with who we truly are well said this has been a real eye-opener of a conversation as we start to wrap things up here yeah is there any last thought you want to leave our listeners with today you know I keep coming back to this quote from Rumi the poet he says your task is not to seek for love but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it oh wow that's beautiful and so relevant to everything we've been talking about it really is because at the end of the day I believe that beneath all of our defenses our fears all those patterns of behavior we keep tripping over there's this wellspring of love and compassion within each of us this deep capacity for connection and this journey of self-reflection of facing those shadows head-on it's not easy but it creates a pathway for that love to flow more freely both within ourselves and out into the world that is truly inspiring a huge thank you to you for guiding us through this deep dive and to you listener remember this whole self-reflection thing it's a lifelong adventure but each step we take toward greater self-awareness no matter how small it's a victory worth celebrating until next time keep asking those tough questions keep exploring and keep diving deep