riverside_jana_& khalifa _ may 5, 2024 003_boss_mama jana

Dana, a single mom from Australia, shares her story on the Happy Single Mum Podcast. She became a single mom when her ex-partner left her three months pregnant. Despite facing challenges and financial struggles, Dana has been determined to provide for her daughter without relying on her ex or the government. She has explored various online ventures and is currently studying Chinese medicine while also pursuing digital marketing and affiliate marketing. Dana initially held onto anger and resentment towards her ex, but over time, she has learned to forgive and let go. Recently, she decided to pursue child support from her ex, feeling that she deserves the financial assistance after raising her daughter alone. Dana acknowledges that opinions on child support vary among single moms, with some demanding it and others choosing not to pursue it. Hey guys and welcome to the Happy Single Mum Podcast. I am your host, Khalifa. Today we have a magnificent lady from down under. I don't know why I did that. Her name is Dana and she's got a magnificent platform called Boss Mama. The reason why I wanted Dana to come on to the podcast is because we are currently in a recession in the UK and there's something happening with the economy all around the world and I think that it's time now for single mums to realise that we need to pivot in our careers and we need to start making money online and I know that that's the ethos surrounding what you do and yeah, I've followed you and I know that you used to work as a masseuse and now you've kind of gone back to school so you're now studying Chinese medicine I believe. Yes, Chinese medicine and also you started this affiliate marketing programme and I just love that for you. I love the fact that you're taking a step in faith, you're learning the process and you're also teaching single mums the process. So please tell single mums about yourself and your story and how you became a single mum as well. Yeah, so I live in Australia, I live in Melbourne. I've been a single mum all of my daughter's life. So her father up and left when I was three months pregnant. So yeah, it was a shock, it wasn't expected. So there I was three months pregnant, just left as a single mum. I was 26 at the time, nearly 27 and I was just completely just shocked and lost and scared and everything that comes with that. But I had this power in me. I think obviously when you're pregnant and you're already a mum when you find out you're pregnant. So yeah, I decided to move out and do everything sort of by myself because he sort of just shut down pretty much and wasn't helping and he was done. So yeah, that was me. I sort of went and set myself up. I found my own place to live. I got all my stuff for my daughter. He didn't help with anything. It was just me buying everything, doing everything, found my own place to live. I worked right up until I had her and then I was on maternity leave with her. Yeah, and it was just her and I. And from then, which was six years ago now, I've always been, I guess, looking for something. And I haven't wanted to rely on him. And you have that feeling that you have to rely on him or yes, like you get child support, but then he stopped paying it. So I wasn't getting anything for five years of her life. I got no child support. So I had this fire in me that was like, well, I don't want to take it anyway. I want to prove I can do this myself. And yes, it's been a struggle. I've lived paycheck to paycheck and there's been times you can't put fuel in your car or you can't buy enough food or all those things. So yeah, and I've tried a few different online ventures. Yeah, I've been a message therapist for nine years. And yeah, and then I've sort of always been looking for something, I guess, because I have this dream and this vision of what I want for me and my daughter. So yeah, and then I've gone into digital marketing and affiliate marketing as well. So like you said, the recession and the job layoffs and it's just, yeah, it's just scary, especially through the pandemic. I think that's going to hit me. Being a single mom, I rely on government help as well. So I get, you get single parent help from the government in Australia. I don't know what it's like there. So I sort of rely on that and I work and now I've got back to study and just, you know, through the pandemic, I was like, I don't want to rely on the government. Like they can, yeah, they can pull it from under you whenever they want and I'm not getting child support. And then just all these things was like, I need to do something myself. I need to make this work myself. I need to find something. I can't rely on anyone. I can't rely on the government. I can't rely on the ex. I can't rely on anything. So yeah, that's kind of. How was it then? I know that it's so easy for us looking back now. I know your daughter is now six years old and we can kind of, even when I share my story, I kind of like breathe through that. Yeah, I went through my pregnancy by myself and everything is fine now. He's 30. But a lot of times people just breathe past that and we forget the fact that you've overcome so many hurdles. So when you decided that, you know what, he's not helping me out and I'm going to leave, like, how was that for you to kind of back yourself and to know that I'm going at this alone? Yeah, it's funny you say that because like starting this online thing, like, I find myself not knowing what to share or what value I can bring because I feel like I've been through it. It's not new for me anymore. So I'm like, I don't know what value I can give people. But obviously there's so much. Yeah, at the time, it feels like a long time ago. It was just, I think you just go into, you're in survival mode, I guess, you know, it's just complete survival mode of what I have to do. You know, I still have to get a new car. I have to buy this and this. I have to find a place to live. But it was heartbreaking. It was just, you know, he sold me a story that I thought I was going to be getting. He sold me this life and this fantasy that I thought I was going to be getting. And then to have that sort of ripped out from underneath you, it was like, but then you're carrying the child, you're the one who's pregnant and you can't walk away. So it's just like, yeah, completely ripped up from underneath you and you're heartbroken. And I think it is sad because, yeah, I do feel like us as women, we have to then reimagine what life would be like. That story that you said that he sold you, you've pictured the nuclear family. And then when you are single and you're like, I think it's the sheer fear of what next and having to rely on yourself and relive the kind of, reimagine the kind of life you're going to have. Do you have any support? Not really, no. So in Perth, like I had, because my dad's in New Zealand, I lost my mom as well when I was 21. So I didn't have my mom for my first baby, my first pregnancy. My dad was in New Zealand, my brother was traveling. So I had an aunt and uncle in Perth, and good friends, but not like family. So yeah, it was just tense, which was another thing to me. It was like, you know this about me. This is hard enough that I don't have a mom that I'm struggling with. And then you go and do this and it's like, yeah, I didn't have a lot of support. No, it was just, yeah, that was pretty much it. I've had great friends and I went and lived with a friend, but it's not the same as like going back home or having a mom there. Yeah, it was all sort of just ripped away, I guess. Yeah. And you just go into what can you do to look after your baby and step by step, what do you need to do now? But the anger and the hurt and the confusion and all those things, which you forget about now, you know, six years down the track. What did you do to learn how to forgive and let go? Or do you feel like you held on to any resentment at all? I did for a long time. I think, yeah, it took me a good probably three or four years, I reckon. I think until I left Perth, because I have family in Melbourne, or my mom's family is in Melbourne, my brother lives here, so that's why I ended up moving here because he wasn't in her life. So I was like, well, I'm going to go be with my family. But I think living in Perth, knowing he was there and his parents were seeing her, yeah, I held a lot of like just hurt and anger and resentment and I think scared as well, scared that he might come back. And in your head, it's like, he's just going to come back and take her from you or not. It's not possible, but your head just goes into these crazy or his parents because they were in her life. So I was thinking, oh, they'll try something. So I think I was constantly sort of in survival mode trying to, yeah, just protect me and her. And yeah, I had a lot of, yeah, just scared and a lot of anger, but getting through it, I think when I left and came to Melbourne, and it's only really three or four months ago I decided to go for his child support. Yeah, because I think for so long, I was like, I had this fear and I was scared to take it because I was like, he'll come and take her from me if I take his money. Like, you just have these stories in your head. But yeah, finally, yeah, I think being here and just feeling safer and I think I don't feel hate or anger for him anymore. When I think of him, I don't feel hate anymore. I just feel sorry for him more than anything. But at the same time, I'm like, I've done everything and I've raised her. So I'm going to take your child support and what I'm entitled to, what the government says I'm entitled to, I'm going to take it because I've done everything alone. Like, why shouldn't I? And there is a bit of a juxtaposition when it comes to child support, because I do have a lot of mums. I tried to go for child support initially and then the government said to me, I'll be getting like $5 a month because it wasn't working. And I just said, do you know what, that's what my son has for McDonald's and he likes extra chips. So that's, I pay more than that. So I just told him, do you know what, keep your money and forget it. So that was a personal decision that I made. But if you speak to a lot of other single mums and they're like, no, I demand child support, I don't care what it is he's going to pay. And other mums are like, nope, I don't want his money, I don't want his hand involved in it. So there's always this like constant conflict between, should I go for child support? Shouldn't I? And that wasn't it for a long time. It was, because in the beginning it was $8 a week and I was the same. I was like, what am I going to get with that? A coffee? Like baby wipes. He has a dog, he pays more for dog food than that. But I was like, I'm not taking that. I'll do it myself. I don't need your money. And it's still, yeah, exactly. It's that constant battle of, no, I can do it myself and I want to prove I can do it myself, which I have. And then it's the battle of, you know what? I've done everything you can pay. This is what I'm entitled to because now you earn better money. The government's telling me this, so why shouldn't I? But then I've still got that fear sometimes that it's like, he's going to turn around and want to take her. Yeah, it's just funny. Does he not have any access at all then? No, he's not. He's not made contact in five years. Yeah, so that's another thing. If he did make contact, it would be very hard to get to know. Over here in the UK, we do have something called like the contact centers whereby you can drop off your child and the kid will be supervised and your ex-partner can then go and see the child there. So you don't have to have any contact at all. I don't know whether they do that in Australia. Oh, OK. I think, I know they do supervise visits, but I think they would usually still have someone in the family at the park and they're supervised. But if you could go back now, don't worry, I'm going to ask the questions about your money making business. If you could go back now, given that your beautiful daughter is six years old, you've got the business, you're studying, you're a qualified masseuse. If you could go back and speak to pregnant Jana, what would you say to her right now? Oh my God. That you'll be OK. That it will all work out. You're always being protected and guided, I think. Looking back now, I've always been looked after, whether that's my mum or, you know, which I believe it is, obviously. But yeah, you'll be OK. It'll always work out in the end and you'll be OK. Let's talk about the business side now. So tell us why you feel single mums should jump on this affiliate marking, working from home? Because to me, I worked 10 years for the Ministry of Justice. I did a law degree that I hated and I worked in a job I hated for so long just because I wanted to pay the bills. And I ended up resenting my child because I would come home tired and sort him out and just end up crying and drinking wine all night. But I realised that I had to make the decision to pick me and pick a career that suited around my lifestyle and give me a good work-life balance. So I now currently work from home, which is just perfect because when he comes back home from school, dinner's already made, everything's fine, I can do the homework. And I don't have that guilt. And I think that a lot of times single mums don't know that they can. They do know, but some of them don't know that they can actually just quit and do things to work around their lifestyle. Like I remember meeting a single mum and she said that she was working three jobs. So I said to her, so who's looking after your kids if you're working three jobs? She said, oh, they go for this aunt and that aunt. And I said, so why can't you just work from home? And she said, oh, well, I don't know what I would be doing. So tell us why you feel it's so important for single mums to work from home to start their own business and how it's kind of helped you in your journey and your single mother journey. Yeah. Well, exactly that. You don't want to be paying other people or paying child care centers to look after your child when you could be home or when they're in school so you can do drop-offs and pick-ups and you're not feeling guilty that they're in before school care or after school care. Yeah, I think it's the guilt a lot as being a single mum because you have to work and then you don't feel like you have time or energy for them and then they get angry at you and they're throwing tantrums and then you're like, oh, you're having meltdowns because you're like, well, I'm doing the best I can to look after you. And like that, you feel this resentment and you're exhausted and the living paycheck to paycheck. And not being able to do fun things with your child or for me personally, like my daughter goes and has play dates and they have beautiful big backyards and they have, those are things, but as her as a child, she's like, oh, I want a swing set in the backyard or like a dog that can run around. Like we've got a little apartment with a tiny little balcony we don't have. So it's things like that. You're just giving them the life without relying on someone else and feeling proud of yourself that you gave it to them and you worked for it and you did it by yourself and just taking them on the holidays and just giving them the life and you're the one that did it for them and working from home is working on your own terms and a job. Your boss, the CEO could fire you tomorrow and you'll be replaced next week or you go to uni and you spend thousands and thousands on a uni degree and you're in debt working your ass off for the next four years to pay it off. It's just, there's so many possibilities online now. It's just so doable for everyone and it's just important. Given the pandemic, we saw how quickly we were shut down and yeah, I don't know much what it was like there, but Melbourne was just terrible. So it's just so important to shift and move online. There's so much you can do. I think it's so possible. And the thing is, I feel like with the pandemic, like you just said, there was a lot going on and I feel like it kind of woke people's eyes up to the fact that our nine to five, that's not it. They really do not care. They will sack you at any given time. The economy, you will not get the best award when you die for the best worker at your job. Your kids will remember that mum was happy, was smiling. Yeah, exactly. So I think that mums really need to, and no one's saying that you have to start your own business and start your own affiliate market and start your own digital marketing journey, but it's just about finding a career that would make you happy. And if working from home, it makes me happy, but if working from home is something that you would like to do, it is out there. And the other thing I do, I do want to touch upon is that there's so much noise. If you type in working from home online now, there'll be like a million things that come up. If you type in affiliate marketing, a million things will come up. So it's just about quieting the noise and hence why I love your platform because you are niche. You are catering to single mums that want to work from home. So to the single mums that want to work from home now, listening to Buff Mama, what is affiliate marketing, just in case they don't know, and what is digital marketing, just in case single mums listening do not know what that is? Yeah, so affiliate marketing has been around for such a long time. Most companies, big companies, have affiliate programs. So you can choose whatever you're passionate about. If you're into like health and wellness or fitness or gaming or God, anything, everything, beauty. Yeah, so every company has affiliate programs and you just sign up to their program and then choose whatever niche you're in and then you start promoting it on your social media, which is so amazing now that we can monetize with Instagram and stuff. And then that company, every time someone clicks on your special link that you get through that company and someone buys through you, you get paid a commission from the company. So any company you can think of, like whatever niche you want to go into, you can become an affiliate for them. You get paid a commission when someone buys through you. Digital marketing, making your own digital products. So you can stay within the same niche and you can make little e-books, little digital products that you could sell for like 50 bucks, you know, low ticket or high ticket, which lower price or higher price. And obviously, the higher you're following gets, even if it's a low ticket, you're still going to, you can still be making good money. It could be a $20 e-book on something you're passionate about, like wellness, health and wellness, like recipes or someone did like how to clean your house, how to declutter your house and he was like a millionaire through these e-books. Yeah, it's just crazy. Oh, this is my cat. So that's like digital products and digital marketing. Yeah. And how hard is it for a mom to kind of get involved? Let's just say that a mom kind of wants to do the declutter in your house e-book. How hard is it to jump into that? Not hard at all. There's so many courses around that you could, it's buying the course, obviously investing in the course, but that's investing in yourself. You're going to have to, you know, you either spend $50,000 on a university degree or you might spend a few $100,000 to $1,000 on a course to learn it. The skills, but yeah, once you, you're using products like Canva, which is free. So you'll learn the skills, but then the things you can use and check EPT that can help you to make an e-book through Canva, which is all free. So it's just learning skills. So you find the courses and you learn the skills and yeah, you can make as many digital products and e-books as you like. There's a lot now of digital products out there with resale rights. So you buy the digital product and you rebrand it as your own and you sell it and you make all the money. So yeah, there's just so many possibilities and it is simple. I mean, to begin with in your growth phase and, you know, growing like your social media, like I still am, there's a lot of work and effort in it, but the possibilities are just endless and you can do it at home. So what do you teach single moms and you teach them how to jump into affiliate marketing and digital marketing? Yeah, yeah, all of it. So, and then you can even go into coaching and course creation. So if you want to become a coach within your niche, like if you're a PT, you can make the digital product, you can become an affiliate for like Lululemon or whatever within the PT industry and then you can coach people as a PT. So it all links up. So you can make the product, you can become an affiliate for companies and get commissions from them and then you can also be a coach within the niche and create your own courses eventually. So yeah, there's a lot of possibilities with it, which is why. And I think it's so amazing that we do, and I'm speaking to myself as I say this, because I have got digital products on my stand store and it took me such a long time to put digital products on there because I was like, oh, I don't want people to feel like I'm selling stuff. But I have to believe in my products, number one. And I really, someone said something to me, they said that everything that you see online is someone selling something. So why do you then feel the ick, as people like to say, why do you feel the ick to sell something that is helping not only yourself, but someone else? So I think that we need to get out of our own heads as well as single moms. And like you mentioned earlier, there's so many food products that you can use and utilize to create your digital products such as Canva, ChatGPT, and then you can also utilize free platforms like Pinterest, TikTok, Instagram. So it's kind of like all laid out for us and you can go on to affiliate programs like ClickBank and other magnificent affiliate programs that are out there. So yeah, so I feel like it's, the thing is, it's laid out for us, we know, but like I mentioned earlier, it's about the noise. And I love platforms like you that can kind of let people know that, look, this is, these are the voices that you need to listen to because to the moms that are listening, do not just go online now and click affiliate marketing because you're going to be inundated with so much. Please follow Boss Mama on Instagram to let her tip it and let you know where to go because you will be inundated with too much information. So yeah, so please tell the audience where they can actually find you on social media if they want to connect. Yeah, so I'm at BossMamaJana, so Boss dot Mama, M-A-M-A, lots of people spell that differently, dot Jana on Instagram. And I'm only on Instagram at the moment, so I'm still learning everything and like you said, you're believing in yourself and your product. I never thought I would be promoting myself on Instagram because the self-doubt creeps in. But yeah, I can see the possibilities are endless and you just got to believe in your dreams and your future and what you're promoting and selling, like you said, digital products. Yeah, believe that they work and they're real. Yeah, definitely, definitely. And yeah, I just want to thank you so much for coming on the Happy Single Mama podcast. And when you are a millionaire and we're both millionaires together, make sure that you come over to the UK and I come over to Australia to have our champagne on the yacht. Definitely. Thank you so, so much for taking out the time and coming on the podcast. By the way, guys, it's 10 a.m. in the UK and it's 10 p.m. in Australia, right? Yeah, nearly 10 p.m. in Australia, yeah. Yeah, I just love the way the internet just connects people. It's so creepy and so amazing at the same time. It's amazing that you get these opportunities. That's so good. Yeah, definitely, definitely. Do you have any plans for this year, any big plans? I think I'm just going to like, I wanted to go on a holiday to Bali, like Bali is close to Australia for us. So yeah, but I'm just going to buckle down, I think, and really work on this business. And yeah, I've got big goals and plans and I'm not going to stop now until they happen. So that's me. I'm going to take my daughter traveling, so eventually. Brilliant, brilliant. Thank you so much for coming on the platform. Thank you so much for having me. Oh, that's okay. Just disappeared. Thank you so much for having me. It was so beautiful to talk to you. And yeah, definitely would love to see what you're doing and what you, yeah, your plans are. There's a lot of potential with your digital marketing and to jump into coaching and affiliate marketing. So yes, definitely keep in touch.