sneaky.output

The person in the transcription talks about their experience being tall and always attracting attention. They mention watching game-based movies and feeling like they are being watched. They then talk about sneaking food into a movie theater with their cousins to avoid expensive prices. They come up with a plan and successfully enter the theater without getting caught. They enjoy the movie and consider making a YouTube video about their experience. I am 6'6", and I've always been abnormally tall. I've always been... noticed. For example, if me and a bunch of other kids in school were goofing off, I'd always be the first one blamed. Sometimes I didn't even do anything, and I'd be considered guilty by association. I had this one teacher in high school. He hated me because I didn't join the basketball team. There'd be complete silence in his class. I'd be doing my work. It would be like... I attract attention, which, I've learned, isn't such a bad thing for being sneaky. It all helps with... misdirection. Back in April of 23, I took my little cousin to go see the Mario movie, which, just like the Sonic movie, was not faithful to the games. I feel like every time I watch a game-based movie or series I enjoy, I feel like I'm being watched. I feel like every time I watch a game-based movie or series I enjoy, it feels like my perception of when people that watch movie adaptations of books nitpick differences. Book? Books. Adaptations of books. It feels like my perception of when people that watch movie adaptations of books nitpick differences. Which I understand now. Like, as for Sonic, why does bro have an owl as a mother? Are we just gonna forget about SONIC UNDERGROUND SONIC UNDERGROUND Now, as for Mario, Jumpman Mario, why does he have a family now? Why can't Luigi jump higher than Mario in the parkour scene? But this isn't a movie review. This is about how I snuck food into the movie theater illegally. My lawyers have informed me to invoke the Fifth Amendment. Something about plausible deniability. I don't- I don't know. This is the story of how I didn't sneak food into the movie theater. So, my cousins. They aren't babies. They aren't teenagers. They're in the middle. And they're brothers. For this story to protect the guilty, their names will be Thing 1 and Thing 2. They aren't hardcore grizzled veterans at being ninjas, but they aren't exactly brain dead either. Not exactly. So, why am I not sneaking food into the movie theater? You really gotta ask? I am not about to spend 40 fuckin' dollars on some popcorn on top of 3D XD movie tickets for a student and two children. Fuck no. Anyway, we go to our favorite pharmacy and convenience store that my sister may or may not have an employee discount for. So, naturally, we get the $2 Chester Cheeto Puffcorn Things and there's three variants of these. There's the butter, the cheddar, and the flaming hot. We picked two and I'm a pussy. And then we got cookies. At this point of the story, I bought them and we're driving to the movie theater at 928 and the movie starts at 930. So, I'm stressing like a dad 5 minutes away from the airport and their flight departs in 24 hours. So, it was not that big of a deal in hindsight. Okay, guys, you gotta put these bags- Okay, you get the cheddar, you get the butter. Okay, I'll get the cookies. Okay, uh- Fuck, why are the bags so loud? Okay, there's no way we're gonna be able to sneak these in. We get caught immediately. They throw us out and ban us from ever entering the theater again. I'm gonna miss any future Spider-Man movies. Oh, fuck. No. Tom's not my favorite, but no. And then I see it. I see something. A glimmer of hope. Hope took the form of a man. A very average looking man. I yell to him and I exclaim, Wait! He was holding a popcorn bucket filled to the brim. He stops in his tracks and turns to our general direction. I says to him, I says, Excuse me, sir, can I have that, please? You sure can. He happily replies. My daughters didn't even look at the popcorn. It was a full glaze. You know what? It was a full buttered- Okay, what do you want? What do you want? The bucket of popcorn. We were all cheering in the car. I thanked him and he went on his way. But we had a job to do. We had to be sneaky. I devised a plan. I'm going to dump half this popcorn next to my car. Then we're going to fill the remainder of the bucket up with popcorn. Drop the cookies in. Thing one, you're going to hold the popcorn bucket and cover it up with your jacket and watch the food light and hide it in plain sight. And don't say nothing to nobody. Thing two, you're going to stick with me while I buy the tickets at the register. Once we have our 3D glasses, we'll make our way to the theater and get our seats. You wait here. You sit by the door. Me, I'll lead the charge. Okay, anyway. The plan was amazing, but the plan did not work out the way I planned it. As we walk in, thing one is on it. He's walking toward the- Thing two, what the fuck are you doing? I said to follow me! Anyway, thing one walks to the concessions, hiding in plain sight. But he's not in line or even near it. He's just looking at me. I assess the situation and calculate how long it will take me to pay, potential threats, and the people around me. At the ticket stand, there seems to be a manager training a girl. An- an alt girl. Yeah. An alt girl on how to do ticket sales. But something about the manager was off. There's two purchasers in front of us. The person at the front of the line was struggling, to say the least. One. Two. Our fiddlesticks! I'm standing and waiting patiently, but inside my mind, I'm flipping tables. The second purchaser is getting money out for two people near her, and I'm waiting so patiently. Then the ominous manager. He was looking at me, suspiciously. Then he leaves the ticket line and heads straight for Thing 1, standing with a bucket of popcorn. They pass each other so smoothly and perfectly. Thing 1 joins Thing 2 and I, and to look less suspicious, I look as natural as possible. And by taking up so much space and being so tall, I misdirect away from Thing 1. And to garner attention to myself, I take a piece of the popcorn and throw it in the air and catch it in my mouth. The ticket girl was super impressed. And, and, she was really alternative. So, we get our tickets, walk into the theater, find our seats, eat the popcorn, popcorn, and cookies, like nobody's watching. The end. Hey guys, I think I want this to be my first YouTube video.