Healing Power Of Music

there's something just beautiful about connecting with the composer of that music. It's kind of like he was saying, these are my sorrows, these are my hurts. As you play them you can feel them too and feel less alone in your sorrows and your grief as well. So it was super healing for me to come back to playing piano on a consistent basis. And then for me to return to teaching, it's not too late. You're here, you're enjoying it. Remember to enjoy the process, you know. It's not about whether you're doing it perfectly or right or wrong. It's about enjoying the whole experience and using music as an adult as a form of self-care. Welcome to Change, community helpers affecting growth and education. Join us as experts and community helpers come together to share with you wisdom, tools, strategies and ways that you can evolve into the best version of you. I am your host Rebecca O'Rourke, behavioral expert and master hypnotist. I look forward to guiding you through all of these tools and strategies that will assist you to becoming the best version of you. So here we are another episode of Change and today we are so fortunate to have Kathryn Seifer. Did I say that right? You did, yes. Awesome. And Kathryn is here to share with us the impact that music has in our lives and the way that music can help us heal and the importance of repetition and enjoying that repetition when we're learning something new. So Kathryn is a wealth of knowledge and I am so grateful. Thank you for joining us, Kathryn. Thank you so much for having me. Yeah, so tell us a little bit about how you're teaching people with music and some of the tools that you're using. Absolutely. So my name is Kathryn Seifer. I'm with Blossom Piano Studios where I bring the joy of music into hearts and homes through remote private piano lessons and I teach I think about 28 students on a weekly basis right now and a third of them are actually adults so I absolutely love this topic. I came to remote piano teaching out of a need to support my family financially at the height of COVID. So I began an online piano studio that way and it's really served my students well. I think in particular my adult clients because they are able to pop out during their lunch sessions, you know, and have their piano lesson right in the middle of their day and it's been absolutely fabulous to use that platform. But yes, I think that music is completely healing. It's been very healing to me in my personal life and I love being able to bring that aspect to my students as well. Awesome. Yeah, if I can share a little bit of personal history, you know, when COVID hit my daughter was actually in piano lessons and she was going to see somebody in their home and getting lessons and then of course that came to an end which was also a beautiful start for this young girl that was giving the piano lessons to now be able to shift online, to teach people through Zoom and the internet, right? And so it was quite interesting to see, you know, the screen beside the piano at home and she's getting instruction and playing away. It was actually quite a, you know, it was unfortunate but it was a beautiful thing for people to transition with their skills and abilities that way. So congratulations and good for you for being willing to make that leap and, you know, take on some of the challenges that the online world has. Absolutely. And, you know, my grandmother was a piano player and it's one of the fondest memories that I have from my childhood is really just, you know, the family getting around the piano and her just jamming away and, you know, she would hand out all kinds of instruments. We would have like kazoos and maracas and have you even heard what a kazoo is? Right? So, you know, these are the memories that stick with me in the most fondest way of, you know, joining in this capacity of ritual of music and how we can share in that joy together. So, you know, whether you're on a screen with someone, I'm sure you're just sharing some of that joy with them. Yeah. Absolutely, absolutely. So my journey with music has been very long. I started playing piano when I was eight and very quickly realized that teaching piano was what I wanted to do and that music was my life's passion. I started teaching piano at the age of 16 to neighborhood kids. So I got my start teaching very young, went to music school, studied, studied, studied, got married very young, and then had a studio for a while that had a slew of children and devoted more of my time to the slew. Six children to be specific. And devoted more of my energy to raising them. And then at the height of COVID, I found myself walking through divorce while going through the pandemic. And I had kind of at that point set a lot of my music aside because, again, not that mothering is not a priority, but I thought wrongly at the time that I couldn't be a good mother and also pursue my own passions and interests. So at that point, I was actually calling myself a former musician. And I mean, I never should have done that. But at some point that had just felt more comfortable for me to sit in that label than it was for me to know that I was a musician that was not living that life and incorporating it in part of my life. Yeah. And the truth is, is when we're in a state of overwhelm, which, you know, there's a time in life where that kind of naturally happens, we don't really want to add any more on our plate. And we're looking and we're going, is this an option? Right? Is this optional? Or is this mandatory? Right. And I have several children who had some medical crises in there, too. So, you know, whether or not I could have actually added in some aspect in using my life, I think I probably could have looking back, and it would have been good for my goal, but I chose not to, I think, for a couple of reasons. But when I started going through the divorce, instantly my heart was pulled right back to the piano. And that was a sign. And I wanted to play the saddest songs I could get my hands on. And so when I'd have a few moments in my house by myself alone, because I didn't want to share that vulnerably with other people in the house to hear it, that's where I turned. And that was kind of another light bulb moment for me. It was like, oh, right. This is where I can find healing. This is who I am. This is what I enjoy. And what I like to say is, I was playing a lot of Chopin at the time. But there's something just beautiful about connecting with the composer of that music. It's kind of like he was saying, these are my sorrows, these are my hurts. As you play them, you can feel them, too, and feel less alone in your sorrows and your grief as well. So it was super healing for me to come back to playing piano on a consistent basis. And then for me to return to teaching piano after a few years away. But then in this other format, it became super healing for me because on the screen, I could see my own face on Zoom. And I could see my eyes light up. And I could see the smile on my face. And I could see how I was engaging with all my students and how I was meeting them where they were at, whether they were five years old or they were 65 years old. And so it was really a coming home to myself and a sense of empowerment to come back to the things that I have always been good at, but that I kind of tucked away because I thought I had to for a while. So now as a teacher, especially to adults, I'm able to bring that life experience to them and to their lessons and encourage them with that. I have many students that come to me that say, oh, well, my brother is a piano teacher or my mom used to play, but I never did. And they come to it with a lot of guilt or a lot of shame or a lot of like, I wish I had. And so now I'm able to say, no, it's not too late. You're here. You're enjoying it. Remember to enjoy the process. You know, it's not about whether you're doing it perfectly or right or wrong. It's about enjoying the whole experience and using music as an adult as a form of self-care, at least the study of music. And we can get into all the other ways that music is healing, right, and all the other scientific ways and group concerts and singing along. Like, there's so many ways that music can be healing, but in terms of engaging in the activity yourself and making it, there's so much healing, I think, in that process. And I like to guide my students through that. Yeah, for sure. I still have my grandmother's piano and, you know, there's no one playing it, except when the grandkids come over and the younger they are, the more they want to play it, which I find interesting. And they have no musical background, but they'll just walk up to the piano and somehow they just, their soft little fingers somehow make it sound beautiful. And, you know, sometimes it like brings a little tear to my eye, just so grateful to have them there. And, you know, again, there's a certain place inside your mind or your soul that music touches, right? And so a sense of gratitude that comes whenever anybody comes over and plays my piano. So I'll just leave that open as an invitation for my friends and local people that might be listening. You want to touch my soul? Come play my piano. It really does. Music reaches into the crevices of our heart that I feel like often words and many other experiences can't quite touch. Like we get close, we try really hard, but there's just something about the resonance of the vibrations of the music that I think connects with our soul sometimes in ways that maybe we need that we can't access in other ways. And like you said, there's science around it. Like there's a place in your brain that only music can touch. It's only penetratable by music. So we want to be intellectual, we want to be smart people, then we need to be stimulating all areas of our brain. And, you know, raising my kids, I somehow had that higher knowing or that intuition of knowing they need this well-roundedness of not only sports and academics, but we needed to have some music in there as well. And so, you know, my daughter played my grandmother's violin for a little while and that was pretty awesome. So I do believe that it's a really healthy part in childhood growth and development, but not just childhood, but even in our adult years, it doesn't change that our brain still has this place that needs to be accessed. Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. So, you know, you have created a journal and please correct me if I'm wrong, but it's a journal that is helping people stay motivated and positively engaging with the idea that it takes repetition and daily rituals in order to get really great at something that we can't just decide that I like it and become amazing at it. That there's, you know, these rituals and this practice that happens in between. So tell us a little bit about your journal and what inspired it and how you're helping people with it. Absolutely. Thank you. The journal is called Notes to Self, a guided mindful practice journal. It is designed specifically for adults. So I think the teen age could probably use it too, but it's designed specifically for adults to help bring mindfulness and celebration to their practice sessions. It came out of both my personal experiences with coming back to the piano, but then what I saw in the needs of my piano students. I was teaching at this point, but I wasn't practicing as much as I knew I needed to. And I was like, well, how am I going to do that? I'm a single mom of six kids with this business. Like, how do I have time to do that? And then I reflected back to some master classes, group piano classes that my piano professor gave way back in college about how you can really practice effectively even in very short bursts of time. And I thought, okay, I can just do 10 minutes a day. I'll just do 10 minutes a day, and we'll just see what happens. And I gave myself a goal of new pieces that I wanted to learn, and I gave myself 10 minutes a day. Even if that meant I was on my digital piano at like 11.50 at night. I was like, oh, got to get it in today before it rolls around to midnight. I want to make it happen. And it was through that and then watching my students' needs that I realized that sometimes we shy away from that daily or consistent practice for a couple of things. One, we think that we have to sit down and practice for like hours at a time. And like, who has hours? Who even has like an hour, 30 minutes? Like, that feels intimidating. But you say 10 minutes, and you're like, yeah, I've got 10 minutes. I can do that. But then the question becomes, how do I use that 10 minutes? How do I use that time really intentionally and effectively? And then really, I think the other big thing is the mindset shift, is that especially as adults, we're not doing this because our parents have told us to do this. We're not doing this because we're trying to get a scholarship for college. We're not doing this because, you know, like our friend is doing it. We're doing it because we want to do it. So to go into our practice sessions with an intentional mindset of not just like, what am I going to accomplish? But how do I want to be during this time? Why am I using this? All right, this is like a brain exercise. It's something different than I do the rest of the day. Or it's reminding me that I can do hard things. It's reminding me I can learn new things that I've never learned. It's telling me I've got skills outside of what I thought I wanted to have skills in. Or maybe it's, I just need to escape and not think about all that is going on out there. And I need to hyper focus on something different to give myself a break from other things. Or maybe I need just the beauty of the music to wash over me. And that's why I'm sitting down to practice. So the journal. All of those things. All of them. All of those things. So the journal intentionally cues the user to write down, what are you being, what is your intention for today? Emotionally, maybe technically, but really more just of your mindset. And then it's got a section where you can be really logistic to do, today, this is what I'm going to practice. Because it's, we've all learned from many scientific studies. If we don't have our to-do list or know exactly what we're going to do, we're just going to meander during that time. If we have limited time, then we need to have our checklist of what we're really trying to do. Especially, at least for me, when I can get sucked up into music. I want to do all of it and do it all now. And know if I actually have a goal. I need to focus on that specific thing. And then there's kind of a couple other places where you can keep notes. And then where you can say, okay, next time, right? Next time I sit down, this is what I'm going to do. Because when you end your practice session, you know now what you need to do next time. But the next time you sit down, you might not remember what that next thing was, right? So if it's written down, then you've got a jumping off and a starting off point. And then you're not going to be as intimidated to sit down or overwhelmed when you first sit down that next time to practice. But I think one of the things I love the most about the journal is the celebration section at the very bottom where I prompt the user to write something down that they are celebrating from that practice session. And it could be, I learned four more measures. It could be, I got that phrase right. Or I got the tempo marking where I wanted it. Or I got whatever done. But it could just be, I did it. I carved out ten minutes and I played today. Or I feel more relaxed. Or I feel more joyful. Or I feel more whatever. And then I think when you go into your practice sessions with that intentionality that this is not just a to-do list, but there's like a being component to it. And then you walk away with some sense of celebration and accomplishment and like a little boost. Why would you not want to come back and do it again? And get the practice list. And what I also love about the way I designed it was that I didn't want it to have checklists. You know, I don't want it to have check for Monday, check for Tuesday, check for Wednesday. Because as accountable as that can be, sometimes it just makes you feel icky if you haven't put a check mark down. So there's places where you can write the date for the day that you're practicing, but there's no like ominous like you have to do this, you know, or like something's going to come after you. So it becomes a really great tracker of what you have done instead of a tracker of what you haven't done. And again, I think that really flips on things as well. Yep, absolutely. Yeah. So you're reminding me a little bit about how, you know, I work with all my clients too. And it's every session we start with what's going well. And then we move into, okay, what do we need to practice or work on? Because, you know, most people that come, well to me for change anyway, this isn't true everywhere, but they're in this mindset of focusing on what they're doing wrong or what's not good enough. And it's a way that they pattern or condition themselves. And, you know, there's both things are always true. There's things that are going well, and there's things that need improvement. And it's really what is that person focusing on? So you're really helping people become more focused on what they're doing well, and what the next steps are, and staying on the positive side, because how easy is it for some people to get into that critical mind? And, you know, focus on what needs improvement instead, which is, you know, both need to be true, but in this beautiful blend of conditioning people to really do this for themselves, what's going well, and what are we focusing on next? Exactly, because I only see my students once a week, sometimes every other week. And so they still have to do that work daily, right? Frequently, they'll come to their piano lesson, and the first question I ask them is, what are you celebrating this week about your piano practice? It's not how much have you practiced, what's going wrong, but like, what are you celebrating? And sometimes the students will reflect back to me everything that's going wrong, and I'll have to pause them. It's like, okay, no, I asked, what are you celebrating? And so, yeah, it is a work that I think we each need to do individually. And I'm thankfully there to help my students on a weekly basis flip things around, or they say, oh, I think it's going terrible, or I'm not making much progress, or this is still really hard. And then I can reflect back to them, like, whoa, whoa, whoa, I heard you last week. Yeah, we call that a pattern interruption. Yeah, I heard, I did it a week ago. This was not like that, and I'm seeing this. So I can reflect back to them what I love them to do and feel, and everyone really is to feel empowered to make those reflections on their own. Sometimes, obviously, we need other people, and I'm not a huge piano teacher. We need piano teachers. But it takes time, and it comes with confidence and experience to be able to make those sort of feedback for yourself, absolutely. And to do that in a constructive way sometimes needs to be a lesson taught in itself, right, to be able to look back on what has happened and feel neutral and be able to say, okay, well, what went well and what, you know, maybe didn't go so well. Yeah, and we all need coaches and people in our lives to reflect that back to us, which we can. Absolutely. But I wanted to provide more musicians, more adults out there with tools and resources to help them do it on their own, because not everybody can afford piano lessons. Not everybody's ready for that. But they still want to engage in a meaningful and consistent way, and so I've designed the journal so that it sets them up to be able to do that if they use the tool. Which is awesome. And, you know, it's not just learning how to play music. It's learning how to do anything new. Absolutely, yeah. I mean, this is a skill that I use when I'm trying to figure out how to make my website work, you know. That's great. And so I really do want to broaden this up for people to really look at the big picture of this, of going, hmm, whenever we're learning anything new, there needs to be sort of a clear focus. There needs to be, you know, maybe some steps that you're going to take. There needs to be what do you want, right, and focusing on those aspects of it. And, you know, the enjoyment of repetition in your life, the enjoyment of practice. One of my mentors, he's a hypnotist, but he's also a mentalist and a really amazing magician. And so when he teaches some of the hypnosis classes in the advanced section, it's so much fun to learn because he incorporates all of these little magic tricks in while he's teaching. And it becomes so entertaining that you can't help but not pay attention. And that's why he does it, is to keep your attention. But, you know, he really does enforce this idea that every single one of those magic tricks, some he had to practice for weeks, some he had to practice for years. Oh, yeah. And think about all the things that we do. You know, we do so many things just in habit. You know, I think don't usually we step into our pants one leg first. Like there's always, we always pick the left or the right, whatever one is our habit. Or we have a pattern with the way we brush our teeth. And we do these things, I mean, thinking about it. Because how many times have we done it? And so when you're learning a new skill or just even the rest of life, if I'm trying to incorporate a new habit into my life in general, it takes practice and consistency and reflection. And, you know, celebrating those wins for me to keep doing it, whether it's I'm changing my my nutrition, or I'm trying to build a new exercise habit, or I'm trying to build any new habit in my life, whether it's like trying to read five minutes a day, or, you know, whatever it is that I've heard of the logical learning levels. Have you ever? No, they're out there. It's not me who made this up. I think it's in psychology. I'm not sure. But there's four levels that they say in order to learn something new. And the bottom level is called unconscious incompetence. So that's where you don't know, you don't know. And then there's conscious incompetence, which sucks, because you know, you don't know. And then there's conscious competence. So that's where you can do it, but you've got to choose it and practice it so that it can move up to this unconscious competence, which is where it's coming just naturally from our subconscious and becomes easy, right? So it doesn't matter what we're learning, we go through these levels. And, you know, it's really unfortunate to see people stop when they get to that conscious competence, simply because they don't have the dedication for the repetition to move up to the unconscious level of it. So it's really amazing that you're using this journal and you have the mindset that you have and the way that you're working with people to really help them make it past that sort of bell curve of, you know, conscious competence to just becoming free and easy and loving it. Right. And I think the key that I'm beginning to see even more is it's not necessarily the lack of drive or passion that prevents people from doing it. It's the mindset, it's the frustration, I think, that sets in. And my best way to counter that right now is, yeah, celebrating the little wins. Because, you know, the learning curve is not linear. I'm noticing that in like all areas of my growth life and every area of my life. It's not linear. We're going to take steps back or things aren't going to be the way you want it to be. I mean, again, the analogy with music is I might have learned something at a certain tempo yesterday, or might have memorized something yesterday, but today that doesn't mean it's necessarily there. I still might have to do more work to reclaim that again and then move forward. And so when we see that ebbs and flows in all of life, when we anticipate it, you know, we don't get as discouraged by it. And then we can still find those little wins to celebrate to help push us to that next level. Absolutely. Yes. And, you know, such a thing called positive motivation is helping us get over those frustrating humps where we can, instead of look at what's happening right in the moment, where we can visualize and kind of fast forward time a little bit and see and imagine what it's going to be like a little bit down the road after we've made it past there. And if we can fast forward in our mind and do that and live in that place that's just a little bit down the road, it makes it so much easier for us not to focus on the frustration of the moment. And, you know, it's a really good skill for people to practice and learn because there's lots of frustration in life. Absolutely. We ran along to figure that out. Yeah. Well, you have six kids, so you know this. So anything else that you would like to share with our listeners today or any other tools or strategies or any other places they can find you? What would you like to share? Yeah, I think my last words of encouragement, no matter what it is you're studying or want to study, it's not too late. Whatever shift or pivot you want to make in your life, business, personal, whatever, like it's not too late. You can always learn new things. You can find the tools and the resources. And I think if you have the right mindset, you can make anything happen for yourself. So that's kind of broadly. But yeah, if you want to find me, you find me at Blossom Piano Studio dot com. That's my website. You can find my journal there. It's also on Amazon. My website will link you right to Amazon, though. And I offer private piano lessons. I'm offering some group classes, co-practice sessions. If that's something you're interested in, just getting on Zoom and practicing with someone else who's practicing. It keeps you motivated. And then I'm on Instagram as well, Blossom Piano Studio MA. So you can find me in all those places. Amazing. And I will put all of those things in the show notes. So it makes it easy for people to come and find you as well. Yes. And so, you know, just to throw a last little note in there, I really want to stress this idea of how healing music really is. And, you know, so many people come into my office to manage stress or to get out of, you know, sleeping. They want to sleep better. All of these things. And a lot of times I'm encouraging them to find something in their life that they feel good, that's for them, that they're passionate about because they're missing that. And I'm quite often encouraging them to learn a new instrument, maybe learn a new language, maybe, you know, do something that that you feel passionate about. And so I think it's great that you're offering this resource. And I assure you that I will be suggesting to any of my clients that want to learn how to play piano that they look you up and that way you can help them maybe in lots of ways of, you know, getting through this frustration of learning something new as well, because that's the other piece of this is you've got to be willing to move through the frustration to learn something new. That's what we're designed to do as human beings. And frustration is just really something that we can perceive and move through and learn how to manage. And when we do that, you know, the world is there's not a lot of limits. Yeah. Beautifully said. I do want to say the journalist for any instrument, any skill level, any genre of music. So classical pianist, but for any instrumentalist out there. And I love it. I think that the study of music has so many life lessons in it in parallel. Because as you were speaking about all the things that, you know, we experience in life, I'm like, yes, you can learn that from music, you can learn from that music. I actually write a lot of my blog posts on my website as well about the intersection between life and music and the life lessons we can learn from from music and the study of it. So I'm glad that you said all that. Cool. And I can't wait to connect people with you. Thank you so much for your time, Catherine. And you are a joy and a pleasure. Thanks again. We are so grateful that you joined us today. Tune in again next week, where we have another amazing professional giving you tools and strategies for change. I am your host, Rebecca O'Rourke, and you can find me at Coorsahypnosis.com.