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Life doesn't have to feel hard - so why does it? And most importantly, how can you change it?
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Life doesn't have to feel hard - so why does it? And most importantly, how can you change it?
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Life feeling hard is often a sign that we are not living in alignment with our purpose or soul contract. This could be due to unhealed wounds or staying in our comfort zone. When we are not living our truth, nothing seems to work out or go as planned. It is important to reflect on why we created or attracted our current circumstances and what wounds they validate or fulfill. We must identify our truth and start making changes in our lives to align with it. This process may be challenging, but it is better than waking up each day in a life that is not meant for us. There are no guarantees, but having faith and trust in ourselves is important. We don't need anyone else's help or validation to change our lives. Life doesn't have to be hard, but we may be attached to the feelings of unfulfillment or chaos. This is Kate Rose, and welcome to SoulGold. When everything feels hard, we must ask ourselves why. Life is a complicated journey, and as much as social media seems to show only the good sunshine-filled days, no one's life is without challenges. But challenges are also different than life simply feeling hard. When life feels hard, it often seems we are continuing to swim upstream, that no matter what we do, it doesn't seem to make a difference, and that nothing is working out or even feels like we had hoped it would. But what if there was an easy explanation for why life feels hard? Would we accept it, or would we still try to change it? In the simplest of truths, if you are constantly experiencing life feeling as if it's hard, it is because you are living out of alignment with your purpose, with your soul contract. You are not living your truth, and so nothing is meant to work out or go the way that you had hoped. And yet, as simple and honest an explanation as that is, the why often tends to have more layers. Because while life feeling hard is the sure sign that you are not living your truth, the reason you aren't living your truth is because of the wounds that you have yet to heal or the comfort zone that you have yet to release. There is a difference between having learned a lesson mentally and embodying it somatically. You can logically understand a lesson. You can have moved through the process, the understanding or even healing. But until this lesson has been embodied in your soul and nervous system, then the energy you are still radiating is one of being in progress rather than as far along as your mind might have you believe. When life feels hard, which can be in terms of our career, romantic life, living situation or even friends, it means no matter what we've tried, how we think we've grown or even the actions that we've taken, nothing is actually improving and nothing is actually changing. But in that case, you have to ask yourself why. The hard parts of life where it feels like you are disconnected from your daily existence, where you find yourself investing time and energy into situations or relationships that don't give back or align with you are representative of not living your truth. And only a wound will keep you living for others instead of your own purpose in this lifetime. While challenges happen to everyone, including bad days or those where you might question everything, when you are living in alignment and in your truth, even the worst moments won't seem catastrophic. They won't drain you or make you feel resentful that this is just your lot in life because you have learned and understand that once you're living your truth, nothing else really matters. Nothing drains you more than a life that you have outgrown or are even not meant to live. And yet, out of fear, self-limiting beliefs, unhealed wounds, we continue to show up in the places that we already know don't resonate with our soul. But while it's easy to say the basic why, it doesn't take away from this cycle and the effects that it has on the future self and life. In my own life, post-divorce, I thought I was doing everything right. I thought that I had released what didn't resonate, didn't align. I thought I had grown. I thought I had healed. And yet, there was a phase where I was feeling utterly exhausted. Not simply tired from being a single mom, but my being, my nervous system, my soul was exhausted. I was frustrated because it seemed no matter how hard I worked, what I did, how much I thought I was working on my healing, life just seemed hard. I was sad. I cried frequently. I constantly felt anxious and as if I just didn't have any more to give. But while I knew how I felt, I didn't yet want to really look at why I was feeling that way. And I didn't want to give up the relationship that I thought was what I wanted. I was stuck in a cycle, not of love, but of childhood wounding. I had grown in many ways and built a different life from the one I previously lived. But this person and my relationship with him kept me tethered. And because of that, I gave it the power to control not only my emotions and my mental well-being, but also my perceptions of life. And yet, even when I did see the truth about him, I didn't immediately end it. I didn't break up or even let go. In this space, I had learned the logical lesson. I knew why I had chosen him, why I had continued to believe that I had to work for love, and why I even tried too hard to save him. All of my childhood wounds clearly in front of me. But still, I didn't just walk away or let go. In this case, my mind had learned my karmic lesson. But somatically, I was still searching for something from him because I hadn't hit that place of embodiment just yet. And so all of life felt hard, even when it wasn't, simply because this relationship wasn't aligned with myself and most certainly was not an aspect of my truth. But when the day arrived, and yes, it did happen within a single moment, after listening to a message from him, and literally shaking my head and laughing at the gaslighting, manipulation, and immaturity in this message, I realized that this lesson I knew in my mind had finally reached my soul. And so I ended it, and never once did I look back. While I've encountered difficulties, of course, as I am just human just as you are since then, life hasn't felt hard. It hasn't felt draining because I'm no longer trying to convince myself of something my inner self knows is a lie. Because I'm not hanging on to what was comfortable, even if it was painful, or still trying to validate my inner child through my interactions with others. But sometimes this phase of hardness extends beyond just a relationship and into our whole lives, where we wake up one day and realize that nothing that we have is actually what we want or need. Life isn't supposed to feel like that, though. Neither is it supposed to feel endlessly hard. Yet it seems easier at times to blame outside forces than realize that not only do we choose our current circumstances, but that we're also the only ones that can change it. To start working on why life feels hard requires brutal honesty about why you created or attracted the situation in the first place, and what it is providing you. This comes down to reflecting on what wounds your life, career, or even relationship are validating or fulfilling. Unworthiness, abandonment, rejection, people-pleasing or acceptance, validation of love or of being a good person, recognition, or even specialness are often the most common reasons to find yourself in a life that just endlessly feels hard. But once you can identify the reason, it then involves going even more deeply into it as you start to explore where that came from. While this is connected to the idea of reparenting the inner child, a sentiment that, in its most basic sense, refers to you showing up for yourself in the way you always hoped someone would show up for you. It really is also about finally understanding the reasons behind your choices. Once you have explored your why and the reason for the why, you often have to begin experimenting with what does feel like your truth. This means you start dreaming, envisioning, or even researching what life, career, or romantic relationship you actually want. Even if this is something you go back and edit, because being able to start identifying what is your truth is an important component to being able to make the changes that you will need to. By dreaming, by envisioning, researching, you are validating yourself that your truth is real. It's worthy. It's possible. And that allows you to become more determined and focused in making other life changes. While in these moments you often may wait for something to change, or even give excuses as to why they can't, the reality is that you are meant to be the one to change matters. You are the only one that can undo what you have created. And so you are responsible for stating to the universe that you know you deserve more, that you are worthy, and that you are fearless enough to do whatever it takes to build a life that is in alignment with your truth. The hardest part of embodying your truth is having to change your life so what exists externally is now reflective of your inner work. Yet even though this might seem insurmountable at times, it is nothing compared than the feeling of waking up each day in a life that you know is not the one meant for you. There will be no guarantees, though, on this path. No promise that you will have everything you are dreaming of because the universe requires that you have faith and trust. There is no other way to learn to choose yourself and embody your truth than simply hoping if you follow the light within, then everything will end up aligning. It means that if you are exiting a relationship, there is not another waiting in the wings. There is no guarantee of a better career role if you choose to leave your current position. No mention of everyone supporting you and encouraging you as you seemingly implode your life. And, of course, no one comes in to save you and fix everything. While normal feelings or even situations, these beliefs or events are actually more indicative of inner wounds than healing. The adult self will be scared to change their life, but they know they don't need anyone else's help to do it, nor do they need any outside validation to know they are on the right path. Life doesn't have to be hard, but it doesn't mean that sometimes we don't need it to be simply because we are unaccustomed to it being easy. While so much goes into creating a life that doesn't resonate with our soul, it doesn't mean that there still isn't an attachment to the feelings it creates. Many times, it's not even the job or the relationship that we are attached to, but the feeling of unfulfillment, chaos, sadness, or feeling like we must fight and earn all the best moments in life. Because so often, we have begun to associate our identity with life being hard. So it raises the inner question of if life isn't hard anymore, then who are we? Who are you? And who am I? Who are we apart from what we have created and the work and the hopes that we've put into this chapter? But the beautiful thing to remember is that you were never the sadness. You were never meant for hardness or unfulfillment. You are not the victim of circumstance but the survivor of your experiences. You are not drained energy, disconnect, or feeling like you want to escape your life. You are you. And you have always been worthy of the best. It's just that your inner child created the life they thought they needed to feel loved. And once you started loving them yourself, it became time to unravel all you had created. Yet on this path of growth, there is an importance of conscious choice. You can acknowledge the lessons. You can realize that you are not living in alignment or even your truth and yet still not be willing to make the changes you need to in order to have life not be hard. In these moments, though, it's almost as if ignorance really is bliss because it's easier to keep up the charade of hard when you don't know any better. Yet when you do and you prolong or ignore what you have to do, essentially you're telling your inner self that you're not worthy of what you most desire. You make up excuses for your inner self just like those in your life have. You disempower your inner self by waiting for someone else to do something or make a change, reinforcing that feeling of powerlessness you were taught by others. And you tell yourself that your needs don't matter just as those who have hurt you did. Because to be blind to the truth is one matter, but to see it and consciously choose to continue the path of hardness in life is another. And it's one that almost is worse than before you knew any better. In this moment, as hard as it might be, it's important to realize and to honor you are the one that is making your life hard. It is you that is avoiding the very changes you need and want to make. And it is you, not anyone else, that is invalidating your personal truth. And so, for today's nugget, the reality is while life will have challenging moments, it doesn't actually need to be hard. Yet, because you are the creator of your story, you also are the only one that can write a different ending. Ultimately deciding and being ready to step into the driver's seat occurs when your soul can no longer tolerate a life that is built around others, their opinions, or receiving their admiration or affection. Because you've realized it is your own that you have always needed. Your truth isn't only what you want or what you think, but it resides in finally giving yourself the love you've always deserved so that you may live a life of ease, fulfillment, and abundance as you go to sleep with confidence each evening knowing that you are living in alignment with your soul. And there's no greater gift or level of consciousness than realizing you are precisely where you've always been meant to be even if you had to take the longer path to reach it. Affirmations for when life feels hard. I have the power to change my life. I deserve to live the life of my dreams. I am courageous in the manifestation of my dreams. I am worthy to care for myself. I deserve to prioritize my own happiness. I am boldly taking steps to honor my truth and change my life. I am committed to living a life of truth. This has been Soul Gold. May you never stop seeking what you know is meant for you.
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