How do other people's actions affect us?

The podcast discusses how other people's actions affect us psychologically and how to overcome it. It emphasizes that our childhood experiences shape our perception of others and how we internalize everything, especially from our family. The podcast explores different perspectives on how people's actions impact us, ranging from feeling hurt to shutting people out. It also touches on the reasons why other people's actions affect us, such as insecurity and seeking attention. The importance of building self-security from an early age is highlighted, and the overall message is to focus on our own actions and not let others' behavior define us. Hi everyone! Welcome to the podcast. I'm Kaz, and in today's podcast, we're going to be touching base on something everyone is superficially aware of, but not a lot of people look more into it, and that is other people. Specifically, other people's actions. Today, we're looking at other people's actions and how they affect us psychologically, and how to get over it. When I say this, I don't mean overanalyzing every little thing someone says or does. If anything, today I'm speaking against that. We will be looking at big and small actions we may see from friends, family, and really anyone, and we will be talking more about how we see them. I think for this to make sense, we should start by talking about what goes on during your childhood, because it honestly does shape who you are as a person. When you're little, all you really know and see is your family. So when you're that young and that impressionable, you take in what's around you, and you stem from that as you get older. For example, a little girl sees her mom wearing makeup, putting on makeup, so she gets into it and recreates what she sees. Later, when she's a bit of an older kid, 7 to 8, she loses all interest in makeup. Then another few years pass, and she's a teenager now, and she's getting into makeup once again because she's more grown. So how do things affect you when you're little? Well, mostly everyone has a mentality in which they see themselves at the center of things, and this starts when we're young, and it starts for no apparent reason. It's just how we're wired. This mentality makes us internalize everything, especially when it comes from our family, because they're our family, and that's all we really know. There's really no explanation for that. It's just because they're our family. So when our parents do things like fight, yell, drink, do drugs, etc., it influences how we grow up and ultimately how we are as people. This goes into our perception of others. We are all on a spectrum of confidence and self-security. When we are lower on this spectrum, other people's actions have a much greater effect on us, even if they aren't directed towards us. I've talked to other people in my life who are on different levels of this self-security spectrum. My mom has become rather good at being considerate of other people's situations when perceiving their actions, and that the way others treat her reflects them and not her, but she still finds herself feeling kind of hurt. My stepsister says that the way other people treat her actually does bother her a lot, and it causes her to overthink, but she tries to act as though she doesn't care. My other sister completely shuts people out when they mistreat her. She says it's because she doesn't know how she should act, and is scared she may act too mad or sad. Lastly, my friend Avery says that she understands that people have their own problems, but it shouldn't be an excuse for them to mistreat others. And then I asked a few other people, my mom and a few of my friends, the question, but why do other people's actions affect us? And here is what they said. Let me find it. So, my mother says it depends on how insecure a person is. When you think there is something wrong with you, you will think others think the same thing. When you already have that in your mind, your brain manifests it and takes everything other people do and internalizes it, leaving you to be bothered by every little thing people do. My friend Erica says sometimes we forget that people have their own things going on, and that's why they act a certain way. So we think everything has something to do with us, because that's what we always go to. Once again, my friend Avery says that even if people have their own personal problems, they shouldn't treat others badly. And if they do, it's because they're immature and can't handle things properly. She says she's not trying to talk down on those kinds of people, but she does think that they need some sort of help in managing their problems. And that all in all, you shouldn't let people like that affect you. My sister says that the way people act towards you doesn't have a say in the person you are. It's just a reflection of their personality and how it reacts to yours, and that people only think otherwise when they're insecure themselves and looking to feed that insecurity. I think my friend Avery is 100% correct in that people may have some things going on, but I still shouldn't give them an excuse to mistreat others, especially when the issues don't relate to them. I've come to realize that some people aren't good at controlling their emotions, especially when they're under a lot of stress, which is why people act out towards others. Some people can still act rationally when it comes to things like that, but others simply aren't mature enough to do that. And that all boils down to that self-security spectrum that I talked about. People who are on that spectrum are actively looking for judgment from others, whether they're aware of it or not. And when you look too much into people's actions and think, oh, they did that because they don't like me, or everybody's judging me, that is seeking judgment. There are also people who may try to use little things others do and say that they are against them for the attention. Think of those girls you see in the halls who are always looking to start a fight. They are insecure. A person who's sure of themselves will knock it in your face trying to get you to punch them if you stepped on their shoe or looked at them funny. The people that do that, A, want attention, B, want something to be mad about, or C, both. This is why it is so important to build up that self-security from an early age. And sure, all you should worry about is yourself and your actions, because that's all you can really do. Remember, everybody has their stuff. Help them with it. But all in all, if you're doing everything you need to do to be a good person, everything else other people do to you is their issue.