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Joe Nebistinsky

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There is a new ministry called Life-Giving Wounds that focuses on helping adult children of divorce. Divorce rates are high and it affects not only families but also church life. The ministry aims to address the wounds caused by divorce and provide support. There is a retreat being held in April for those interested. In Ireland, there was a recent election where the Irish people rejected amendments that aimed to change the definition of family and remove "outdated" language from the Constitution. The Irish Constitution begins with a preamble that acknowledges the importance of faith and Jesus Christ. The Catholic Church and evangelical Catholics played a role in opposing the amendments. Welcome back to In The News. It's me, Crystal Carmen Stephens, and Father Weary here, and this is our second part. Father, there's a wonderful new ministry that is coming to our diocese. It is called Life-Giving Wounds. Yes. It's a ministry for adult children of divorce. Right. Now, being an adult child of divorce, I find this fascinating because I think there are a plethora of traps that, you know, adult children of divorce fall into relationship-wise, you know, and I'm wondering, what do you think about that? Does anybody, do you ever have that problem with people that come in? I mean, because being a child of divorce, marriage is scary because you don't want to be like your parents. Yeah. Well, let me say this about that. First of all, let me just talk about divorce. It is, of course, rampant. It's like a pandemic. The number, in my own parishes, the number of marriages breaking up, and yeah, sure, the kids are definitely affected, no doubt about it, but, and they talk about, I don't know if it's accurate, but the 50% divorce rate. It's got to be more now. I don't know, but it's, I'm telling you what, it's the kiss of death for church life, well, for family life, obviously, and then for church life. One or both partners stops coming to mass, stops coming to church, the kids stop coming, and God weeps, the angels weep, and the devil laughs, because it's a triumph, or in the words of that preeminent theologian Taylor Swift, the devils roll the dice, and the angels roll their eyes. The devils roll the dice, and the angels roll their eyes. And I think that's kind of true. I like that line. Heaven grieves over this, because of the hurt that is incurred. So this is a wonderful ministry that really, really addresses the wounds that can happen. And there's a wake-up now, I believe, and it's referred to in the article that you sent me about this, that in the past it was thought, oh, kids are resilient, and they can bounce back, and it's kind of like there was a previously, in the past, kind of a dismissal of the hurt that is incurred, but now there's more of an acknowledgment of that in this ministry and in others. So I do welcome that. I mean, I remember being a kid, and you always, I, let me say I, this is just my experience, always felt that something was missing, you know, from my home. Sure. Did you, I mean, did you feel, not every kid feels this way, but feel guilty that maybe you did something wrong? I was so young when my parents divorced that I never thought it was me, oh, okay, per se, because I was, I don't ever remember being a two-parent household. But, you know, I always felt that something was missing, and then you'd get your visits, and, you know, and then when visit time was over, sure, that loss again, being constantly. Right. I know you're in theater and drama, and I'm thinking about movies about this, and I'm thinking about, I never saw it, Kramer versus Kramer, did you ever see that? I never saw Kramer versus Kramer. I never saw that either, and then there's the marriage story by Scarlett Johansson and Adam Driver, also about a breakup, and they're kind of good to watch. Kramer versus Kramer, the father goes into the little boy, he must be about four years of age, just one child, who's crying, and he thinks it's his fault that he did something wrong, and Dustin Hoffman, plays the father, said, no, it's not you. Your mother hates me. That's why she's leaving. That's a terrible thing to say to a kid, though. Your mother, well, he's trying, he was trying to take the illness off the child, it's not you, it's me. She hates me, which still, yeah, it's not a really, maybe a really good way to approach things, but just in a trailer, I think I saw, that stuck with me, that scene, kind of arresting. It's pretty traumatic. Yeah. I mean, half of the adults in the United States come from a broken home. That's a terrible statistic. Yes. And so according to this article, it doesn't, you know, they don't trust, they have abandonment issues, commitment issues, cynicism and loss of hope when going through rough patches in relationships. Sure. No, you figure you can just cut the cord instead of, you know, your parents did it. Why can't you? That's right. It seems to be very repetitive, doesn't it? I mean, it's cyclical. Well, it's Dr. Daniel and Bethany Mayola that founded this, based on the beautiful teachings on Catholic teachings on marriage and family that impressed them. And they saw a gap in church ministry to children of divorce. The name, Life-Giving Wounds is the name of the ministry taken from 1 Peter 2, verse 24, by whose wounds you have been healed. By his wounds, you have been healed. And they also say, and I love this, statistics are not your destiny. We just got done talking about the frequency of divorce and 50% or maybe more and the cyclical nature of it. But on the other hand, statistics are not your destiny. You can beat this. I guess one of the messages of the ministry, that's beautiful. That is absolutely beautiful. I know that in my pre-Catholic life, I was very opposed to getting married because I was afraid to. Sure. You know, I was afraid to make that sort of commitment. I was afraid that I would not be able to live up to it. I was afraid that, you know, I would just keep the cycle going. And I will tell you that the best thing I ever did was to come into the church and to get married and make that commitment because it's amazing. Congratulations. Thank you very much. Life-Giving Wounds, they are having a retreat in April at the Diocesan Center from the 12th to the 14th. And anyone who's interested, please go to lifegivingwounds.org and sign up. Get information. This is very important because there's a lot of us out there who are, you know, these wounds are invisible, of course, but we need to talk about them. You need to talk to other people who suffer the same and who totally understand where you're coming from. It's about finding meaning in the midst of our wounds, they say, in the midst of our mess, our hurt. They say Jesus meets us there and brings something greater out of it. So God writes straight with crooked lines, as they say. God writes straight with crooked lines. I love it. So wonderful that this is available. It really is. Lifegivingwounds.org to anyone who is interested. All right. Moving along, Father, I'd like to go talk about Ireland. All right. So Ireland had a big election last week. They were going to change the Constitution. Right. They're going to take out some words, family, mother, and the Irish rebuked that. They did. Yes. It's really funny because I do a seminar online every Monday with some ladies from Ireland, and they were telling me that in the ballot boxes, they are finding miraculous medals. Oh, my word. That's a great idea. They're finding, somebody told me, 13, I think, was a number in one. 13 or 14 miraculous medals in the ballot box. Wow. I love it. Well, the one amendment was defeated, but 75% of the voters rejected the one amendment, and a good percentage of the other one as well. It's astounding to the onlookers and observers and to the media because they thought these referendums would carry, would win the day. And the Irish people just came up against it. No, because it's word salad, if you hear my interruption. I mean, they wanted to change the definition from family, from being founded on marriage to the undefined founded on durable relationships. Right. What does that mean? Whatever. Who knows? Yeah, they wanted to remove outdated and sexist language in the original Constitution. And people said no. Now, here's how, I got to do this. Here's how the prologue of the Constitution of Ireland starts out. Are you ready? I'd love it. Go. In the name of the Most Holy Trinity, from whom is all authority and to whom as our final end, all actions, both of men and states must be referred. We, the people of Ire, humbly acknowledging all our obligations to our divine Lord Jesus Christ, who has sustained our fathers through centuries of trials. Unquote. That's the preamble to the Irish Constitution. Can you imagine that? It's absolutely wonderful and beautiful. Wow. I'll say, talk about faith-based, faith-infused, really. So, there's still, you know, the Catholic sensibilities, the Irish people are kicked in there, I think, and it's just basic natural moral law, if you will. So, that is good news. That is very good news. And as the article starts, the Irish bishops can still win an election. Because they came out very much against that. Absolutely not. Evangelical Catholicism. Yeah. What does that mean, Father? There's a movement of evangelical Catholics, apparently in Northern Ireland, and that would mean these are Catholics who, I mean, and also I'm going to say, it's taught by the Catholic Church anyway, but here we go, it emphasizes a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, manifesting the fruits of the Spirit, and very biblical, reading the Bible a lot. It reminds me of the charismatic movement as well. I think it's very similar. I don't know if these people are praying in tongues. I've been in the charismatic movement. But, yes, evangelical Catholics. Thirty-eight percent of practicing Catholics in Northern Ireland identify themselves as evangelical Catholics. Sort of like, if I may say, Bible-thumping Catholics. But at the same time, maintaining the loyalty to the Catholic Church and all the teachings of the Church. It's fervor. It's fervor and zeal. And they're associated with various organizations. There's Divine Healing Ministries, associated with the evangelical Catholic movement, Christian Renewal Center, the Maranathic, that was very instrumental in his life. And then there was another one in the article you sent me that got into it through the Alpha Movement. I don't know if you've ever heard of it. No, I don't know the Alpha Movement. Alpha Movement. I don't know a lot. I do not know a lot about it. My one parish almost was going to tap into that. It's another spiritual movement that began in the Anglican Church. But there's a Catholic version of it as well. And this one interviewee got into the Alpha Movement, and that got him into really an evangelical style of the Catholic faith. So that's commendable. Forty-seven percent of Protestants in Northern Ireland identify themselves as evangelical. Yeah. Thirty-eight percent of Catholics in Northern Ireland. So it's very interesting. It's some kind of a revival going on there, it seems to me, that can only be good, and probably are going to bring Catholic and Protestants even closer together, those who had been fighting not that long ago. That's a beautiful thing. All right, Father, I think that's our time for today. If we could end with a prayer, that'd be very appreciated. In the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Amen. Lord God, heavenly Father, we ask your blessings upon us. Fill us with your grace, your peace, and your light in this year of the Eucharist. And as we continue with the Synod on Synodality, and this radio program, Lord, may all who are listening be blessed. In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Amen. Go, Amy. Amen.

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