How to become more interesting by talking why, not what

The author reflects on the importance of the question "why" rather than "what" when it comes to describing oneself or one's work. They recount their experiences with people asking about their dog and their profession. They realize that the question "why do you do that?" is more interesting and meaningful. The author shares their vision of a world where older people can use their skills and experience to contribute to society. They also discuss the events in their life that shaped their purpose and led them to their current work. They encourage others to reflect on their own experiences and mistakes to find their own story and purpose. They suggest responding to the question "what do you do?" by also asking "why" to engage in more meaningful conversations. Hello and welcome to my newsletter for May 2024 in which I focus on the importance of the question why rather than the question what. How often have you been asked what do you do? Depending on your frame of mind and your interrogator this question can be an opportunity to sell your wares or a tedious conversation starter or stopper. I feel the same way when asked about my dog, O asks my dog's admirers when they meet her, what sort of a dog is she? To which I reply, she's a Coton de Tuileries. A what? A Coton de Tuileries, a Madagascan rafting dog. I had this conversation with three people last Saturday whilst walking the dog so when the last one asked and where did she come from I simply replied, Madagascar, which seemed an excellent way to end a long winded conversation. It did. I'm afraid my approach to the what do you do question is similar though I am conscious of the commercial imperative and the need to be polite and helpful I seem to tell people that I am a financial life plan fund coach and help middle aged clients understand their money so they can continue contributing. However, someone followed up last week by asking, why do you do that? Now that is a fascinating question. I fumbled the answer then realised that why was as important as what, possibly more so. I found myself thinking about the change I wanted to make in the world and the experiences of the past sort of pushed me in that direction. I reflect on how I read with dismay about the grey sector as though older people have no more use in the job market and stay alive only to complete the crossword puzzle, buy aids for the elderly and make profits from investment, travel and property companies. I reflect on how saddened I was by those who, through force of circumstance or voluntarily, retire in their 50s and let a lifetime of experience go to waste. I suspect some do not truly understand their money and underestimate the cost of retirement. They will also struggle without purpose or value. So my vision, my why, conversely, is of a world where older people, Generation X in particular, have worked out their money on an emotional level, leaving them free, calmly and confidently to continue to use their skills and experience to contribute to the world. I also considered what had brought me here and concluded that three key events shaped my why. First, my parents slipped into a slow stay-at-home life after Dad retired and it seemed a desperate waste of their experience and talents. Second, as a young adult lacking courage and maturity, I screwed up big time, leaving me publicly humiliated and feeling worthless. My more severe mistake was failing to deal with the emotional consequences for years until I met colleagues with a more positive and generous approach. Finally, in between, I made reckless decisions without considering the financial implications that at one point left me with no income, no assets and significant debts. However, I didn't let my experiences and mistakes define me. Instead, I launched my financial planning business and for over 30 years I learned revolutionary changes in the financial advisory community to help clients better develop their life and financial plans. I wonder how easy it would be for you to tell me what you do. What bugs you and makes you want to work for a different future? What mistakes and experiences from your past have molded your life today? I'd be much more interested in hearing your why story than simply being told I am a consultant. So here's a tip to help you on your way to a life in which you continue to contribute more than you consume. Reflect on the world you want to see, your vision for the future and your experiences and mistakes from the past that have brought you here. Turn them into your story. The next time someone asks you what you do, reply by telling them and asking them if they want to know why. They will almost certainly say yes, allowing you to tell your story and hopefully get their full attention.