Why judgement with love is constructive

The speaker shares a personal story about making a mistaken judgment and feeling embarrassed. They then discuss their journey from being non-judgmental to realizing the importance of providing judgment with love. The concept involves judging someone's behavior in a way that helps them see the need for change and grow as a person. They provide three approaches: exploring and discovering, suggesting alternatives, and being direct. The speaker now believes it's okay to be judgmental as long as it's done in a constructive and caring manner. Hello, Chairman Deeds here, and welcome to the Insight Post for the 24th of March 2024. Why judgement with love is empowering. It was so embarrassing, I'm not sure I can repeat the story. A long time ago, I made a judgement about someone I didn't know well. I acted on my mistaken judgement and said something that turned out to be so embarrassing that I just wanted to crawl away and hide. If nothing else, the episode taught me to be more careful. By the time I became a coach and financial planner, I had swung to the opposite end of the judgement pendulum, becoming absolutely non-judgemental with clients and friends. However, this also proved to be a flawed approach. Clients who came to me for encouragement, motivation and advice needed me to judge their actions, even if they didn't want to hear it. My non-judgemental approach sometimes left them feeling unheard. However, I've grown to hate our judgemental society, so I was very interested when a wise man I knew talked about judgement with love. The concept is simple. Be judgemental when necessary, but do it with love and not hate. Be judgemental in a way that helps the other person to see that it would help everyone if they changed their behaviour, and that by doing so, they could become a better person. In other words, it is about showing love and care to someone else, helping them avoid further damaging themselves and others. So how can you provide judgement with love? Well, here are three approaches. First, explore and discover. For instance, you can say, I am curious to know. I wish I had done this all those years ago. Secondly, suggest alternatives. I wonder if, is a way of gently helping the other person to see the other side of the story. Is proper judgement with love? Third, be direct. Help the other person understand that others may have a different perspective and be affected differently by their words and deeds. I now believe it is okay to be judgemental as long as you express your judgement in a way that helps the other person develop and grow.