POD00004

The speaker is Jenna Jarvis, host of the Vulnerability School Podcast. She shares that she recently ended a relationship that didn't make her feel loved or safe. She is excited about her upcoming Galentine's event and reflects on the theme of "There's No Place Like Home," which emphasizes the importance of finding safety and happiness within oneself. Jenna discusses her past experiences and the journey of self-discovery and self-love that led her to this point. She talks about her recent ketamine treatments, moving out of her current place, paying off debt, and planning to get her yoga certification in Bali. She also mentions launching a new virtual program for Vulnerability is Cool and emphasizes the importance of choosing oneself and setting boundaries. Jenna expresses excitement for this new chapter in her life and her determination to no longer settle for unhealthy relationships. She acknowledges the challenges she has faced but views her current choices as positive and empowering. Hello. Hi brothers and sisters. Here we go. Do I want to record with the phone? I don't think so. Hello brothers and sisters. Welcome back to the Vulnerabilities Cool Podcast. I am hyped that you're here and I am already feeling a little emotional today. You guys are getting truly the most raw and real version of Jenna Darvish. So much has happened in my life and good things, all good things, hard, really hard things, but all good things. And I have my Galentine's event this weekend. And I didn't do an episode last week because it's just been so much going on. And I celebrated my birthday and yeah. Let's just get right into it. Okay. So first things first, I have been in and out of like a relationship for the past 14 months. And it was a relationship that I didn't feel very loved or seen or safe in. And I really just had so much hope that things are going to get better and that things are going to change. And they just weren't. And so we officially like ended the relationship on my birthday, which was like two weeks ago, a little over two weeks. And so then that happened. And then I have been planning Galentine's. And then today I usually don't want to restart. Okay. I'm going to restart. I'm going to restart. Welcome back to the Vulnerability School Podcast. I am your host, Jenna Jarvis, and I'm so happy you're here. I didn't do an episode last week, and so I'm really excited for this episode because we're in a new location, obviously. And always in a new location, there's always something going on over here. But I'm in my friend Tiff and Cody's basement. They have a little spot to record, and they said I could use it. So here we are. Kind of fun. They're the ones that are doing breathwork for my Galentine's event that's coming up this Saturday. But today the topic for the episode is, and usually I do my notes on my phone, but I have to record on my phone. So we've got my little notes right here. The topic for today is There's No Place Like Home. That is the theme of my Galentine's event. And I don't even know where to start here. Just to be totally honest and straightforward, you are getting the most raw and real version of Jenna Jarvis today. And this event could not come at a better time because I have truly hit rock bottom, and I'm making my way up. So a million things have happened, and we will get into all of them. But yeah, I think the theme for this event is so just perfect. It's probably my favorite theme ever. The theme is There's No Place Like Home, which is like Lizard of Oz and Wicked vibes. It's going to be so cute. There's going to be like a yellow brick road and just so many good things to come. I don't want to ruin any surprises here. But the theme is There's No Place Like Home, the home within yourself. And the reason this theme is so important to me is because there really is nowhere that you will ever feel safer than you will. The reason that this theme is so important to me is because if you know me, if you've listened to this episode, or if you've listened to this podcast, you know that I've had a pretty freaking crazy life. And it's probably like times 10 from what I've actually shared on here. And I moved out at 14. I've just been living in so many random places since then. And I always just, when I was younger, I just really wanted to get married and be in a relationship and kind of escape my life. And that didn't. I mean, it would happen, but I would get myself into relationships that did not serve me and that did not make me feel safe. And even when I was in good relationships, I realized that I will never be happy unless I'm happy alone. And that's kind of how this whole journey started with Vulnerability is Cool. That's why I'm so into self-development and all these things because I'm like, If I can't be happy by myself and, you know, explore my shadows and what makes me me and love every single part of me, how do I expect someone else to do that and how do I ever expect to feel safe? And sometimes I might do it to a negative extent, but it's okay. We're all learning here. But, yeah, and it says, through the years, I just realized, like, the most important home, the most important place I will ever be is right within myself. And it's been a journey of building that. And I am emotional today, just for a morning. Like I said, lots has been going on. The most raw and real version of getting nervous. But I think I'm really, really excited for this new chapter of my life. And maybe it sounds a little dramatic saying, like, new chapter, but it was literally just my birthday. And so many changes are happening. I feel like for actually the first time in my life, I am deciding to choose myself. And something that I... So, okay, I've been doing ketamine sessions. And I'm going to get into that on another episode and go into, like, my whole process and everything. But after one of my ketamine sessions the other day, I wrote down, like, I do not want to be in a relationship anymore where I feel comfortable. Because a comfortable relationship for Jenna Jarvis is not healthy. That stems, for sure, from childhood and beliefs that I created when I was younger about myself from people in my life that were supposed to love me and that didn't show up for me. And I just kind of chased that. There's, like, an Olivia Rodrigo lyric that says, I don't know, what is it? Something about, like, the roller coaster being all I've ever known and how you kind of just chase those highs and those lows. And that is, for sure, my brain. Like, I don't really know a healthy love. And when I experience it, I push it away. And it's been really hard. I had been in a relationship for a little under a year and a half. And I was not choosing myself. I was not being treated good. And I just kept having this hope, which I also had when I was a kid, that, like, people are going to change. And then they'll love me. If I love them hard enough, they'll be able to love me back. And it would just go and go and go until, like, I'm at this point now where I just hit a breaking point. And I was like, what am I doing? Like, it got to a point that I was doing my Healed Girl School program and I couldn't do it anymore. Because I was like, I'm not practicing what I preach. You know, I've come so far from where I started. Honestly, sometimes I'm like, I don't even know how I'm living the life that I am. And it is truly a miracle, despite everything that I came from. But I also know and I experienced in Ayahuasca, like, this highest, beautiful, passionate, ambitious, getting everything she wants in life version of myself on Ayahuasca. And I know it's achievable. And it's not achievable through me choosing people that don't support me and that don't love me. Because when you're in a relationship with people, well, maybe they just don't love themselves. Like, you can't expect love from someone that doesn't love themselves. And I have done that time and time and time and time again all throughout my life. And I don't want to get too into it. I really don't. But that relationship that I've been in for a long time ended on my birthday. So, actually, crazy that it ended on my birthday because, like, huge turning point. And then, let's see, and then I literally started ketamine treatments right after. Okay? Literally right after. And then I'm moving out of the current place that I'm living in. I have paid off so much of my debt, which is so exciting. And I am going to Bali for three weeks to get my yoga certification. And I might stay longer. We'll see. And I am launching an entire new platform for Vulnerability is Cool, which I'm so hyped about. It's going to be a completely virtual program. And I'm so excited for it because for the first time ever, like, I am fully choosing myself and fully showing up and showing people that they can build a home within themselves and that they can choose themselves. And it just feels so raw and real and authentic and emotional. But I know that, like, I mean, I would prefer to not have to go through such hard relationships. And I'm not going to anymore. I'm not going to allow myself to fall into that anymore because I'm done. I'm fed up. I cannot be doing that to myself, to little Jenna anymore. God, I keep saying um. But I don't want this to be a negative thing. This is a positive motherfucking thing, okay? I'm hyped because I'm finally choosing myself. And, like, I'm really hard on myself, obviously, because I have done so much. I have really, I've chosen myself again and again and again. But this is the next level of choosing myself. This is the next level of not allowing people to bring me down anymore and having boundaries and really, like, stepping into my power. And, like, something that I do is I minimize myself so that others can feel safe. And I don't want to do that anymore. I want to show up confidently. I want to be who I am because I know that's what I need to do to be happy. Like, it got to a point in my past relationship that I really, like, I stopped my program because I couldn't show up. I felt like I wasn't being authentic. I was convinced in my mind that I didn't know how to communicate, that I was really toxic, all these things and these stories that I was being told. And it got to a point that I, like, didn't even want to be here anymore. I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa. Like, I hate that that even happened, that I got to that point. And so, and now I can feel the complete opposite. I'm, like, so hyped about my life. I'm so excited for everything that's to come. Ketamine has truly helped me rewire my brain, like, truly has changed my life. And it's been more impactful than any other psychedelic or plant medicine or anything that I've done. And still, you have to put in the work because no drug is going to heal you, okay? You have to heal you. But this plant medicine and these different things can help you get there. It can be a turning point for you. And I'm really grateful. I'm so grateful. Like, it really just worked out that I had ketamine. I found the most incredible clinic. The guy that does it, he's a neurosurgeon. He's so smart. And he just, he knows so much about me now, more than most people. Perfect. But, yeah. And I'm just excited. I'm excited for everything to come. And here's to motherfucking choosing ourselves and really stepping into alignment with who we truly are and who we truly want to become. I have learned so much over this past year. And I've really not been able to step into my potential in the way that I want to. Like, I just feel like I haven't been able to fully show up authentically. And now there's, like, literally nothing holding me back. And I'm just so grateful. And the way that things have aligned in my life since I decided to choose myself and decided to move forward, even though it's so hard. And, like, the situation I was in was so comfortable. It is so comfortable for me to be treated like shit, to be totally honest. Because, like I said, just, like, those limiting beliefs and, like, the way that I grew up. But I want to be a testimony of change and that it's possible and that we don't need people like that in our lives. And that staying somewhere where you're not loved and celebrated and not able to be your best self is not worth it. Like, zero percent worth it. And, yeah. So, I just have so many thoughts. So many thoughts. So many good podcast episodes to come. Truly. And I'm really, really excited to go to Bali. Usually when I travel somewhere, for example, when I went on an admission, I literally opened my admission call by myself and I didn't tell anyone. And I was like, see ya. And then I went to Europe for four months and I didn't really tell anyone. And I just left and I was like, peace out. And I was kind of going to do the same thing with this, but it's fine. I'm going to Bali. I'm going to get my yoga certification. And I'm excited about that because that will be just more value that I can add to my brand and my community and everything. So, it's just crazy what happens when you just learn to trust yourself. And it is so scary. Like, so scary. It's so scary. Like, I lost one of my best friends. And that sucks. But now I get to make space for people that value me and people that choose me and people that love me. And that's so exciting. It's not the most comfortable for me, but it's beautiful. And one of my favorite quotes is, We have to become comfortable with the uncomfortable. Something like that. But, yeah, that's just what I keep thinking about. Like, I literally, if I start dating someone that feels too comfortable, I'm going to be like, red flag. Because that's not healthy. That's not healthy for Jenna Jarvis. No fucking way. But, yeah, not trying to date anyone right now, by the way. Just trying to go inward, focus on myself, really build my platform, my community. Like, this is my baby. It is truly my baby. And I'm so excited to connect with people on such a deeper level because I'm able to get there and I'm able to show up authentically. And this Galentines event, I'm so hyped about because the whole focus of it is going inward and finding that value within yourself so that you respect yourself enough so that others can respect you. Because they always say, like, you teach people how to treat you. And I believe that so much. Like, I know that from all the relationships I've been in, even friendships. Like, I'm just realizing, like, no, this is fully, not fully, but a lot of it is in my control of the relationships that I have and how they show up because I teach them. Or I'm able to teach them. And it really is so beautiful. I would have so many thoughts, so many things. I really want to do an episode about all of the things that I wish I knew in my early 20s and all the things that I'm learning now and how I think just more than anything, like, the whole purpose of my entire company is just for people to form love with themselves. And I can't even tell you how hyped I am about this community. Like, it's going to be amazing. And there is a free option to join, too. So that's really exciting. There's a free option, and then there's going to be, like, a paid community that will just be, like, next level of everything. And I am investing so much time and energy into it. Like, I have never worked this hard in my entire life. So, like, my hair's in ponytail, and I'm in a hoodie, and I'm just chilling, and I'm just in grind mode. And also something that is so exciting is I literally, my testimony of manifestation has grown so, so much, so much. Like, I have been writing in my journal probably since I was, what, 14. Like, I'm going to go to Bali. I'm going to go to Bali and get my yoga certification. And now I'm at the point, like, I don't really have this desire to teach yoga, but I do have a desire to expand and grow. And, like, the place I'm going to is called House of Om, and I'm literally just going to be, I'm going by myself, and go into a completely different country. It's 15 hours ahead, and I'm just going to go inwards so much and journal every day and connect with my body and really get to the best point that I can so that I can fully show up in my business, and I'm hyped. And, yeah, like, not only did I write, like, I lived in Bali, and I did these things, but, like, in my journal. Because I try to, when I write my affirmations now, I write them like they've already happened. So I've been writing, I lived in Bali, I lived in Bali. And I was like, I don't know if that's going to happen, but I was like, I really want to go, so I'm just going to write it. Like, hopefully one day I'll live there. And all last year I just started, like, as the year was coming to an end, I just started feeling like I need to go to Bali in February. I need to go in February. I need to go in February. And then this relationship ended, and I was like, I'm going to go. Like, I just set my mind to it, and I was like, I'm just going to go, and things just worked out for me to go. And I'm just like, whether you believe in God or the universe or whatever it is, somebody's got your back, okay? Like, the universe has my back, and I fully, fully believe that, and I think it's so beautiful. Even, like, I would just write, like, I'm in a healthy, stable relationship, and I think, like, from the recent events I've experienced, the ketamine, finally choosing myself, all of that, like, I've been manifesting this. Like, as much as I wanted to stay in the uncomfortable or stay in the comfortable, I was almost forced into the uncomfortable. I'm sorry. As much as I wanted to stay in the uncomfortable, I was almost just forced into, oh, damn, as much as I wanted to stay in what was comfortable for me, that I was not going to expand and I was not going to grow, I was almost forced into the uncomfortable. But I also manifested it. So I'm like, okay. So kind of when everything was going down, I'm like, makes sense. I actually, I was like, deep down, I know that I want this. I know that, like, I need that push to choose myself and fully show up. And I'm so excited. Like, everything that I experienced on ayahuasca, like this version of me that I saw, like this higher self, and everything that I experienced, like, I just felt like it was so real. I'm like, I can get there, and I know that, like, these are the next steps that I need to take to get there. So I keep bringing up Valentine's because I'm so hyped about it, and it's literally, I'm working on it 24-7. But if you are signed up, I am so excited to see you. Please come give me a hug. And it's hard for me to remember everybody's names because there's so many people, but please make sure you're wearing your name tag and tell me something crazy about you so I remember. And we can be BFFs. And we can just, there is truly just a magic. There's a magic that comes when there is a community of women, or women and men, that are choosing themselves and that are going inward and that are being vulnerable and being humble. Like, this is such humble work to show up and be like, I'm not perfect, and I'm going to go surround myself with people that are going to fully accept me and that might push me out of my comfort zone a little bit, but that I know will benefit me. And I just, I wish that you could fully understand the magic that happens at these events. And it's not just me. It is literally like Cody and Tiff doing the breath work. It is the ring shot workshop we're going to be doing. It's each individual person tapping into their creativity and getting deep with themselves and doing shadow work and just eating this healthy little meal and being, like sitting next to someone that you don't know and realizing that we are so much more similar than we are different. It is the most beautiful thing, and it is my favorite thing in the whole entire world. Like, above anything, like I truly, Vulnerability is Cool is my baby, and it is my number one, and I just want you to feel some type of way, okay? I want you to feel like you can achieve anything because I truly do believe that you can. I think that you can get out of any bad situation. I think that you can get out of any relationship, that you can become whoever you want to become, and if you think that you can't, then there's just some limiting beliefs that you need to work through. I truly do believe. And I don't know. Something I've been thinking about a lot lately is there's people in life that believe in the magic, and they see the magic, and they are optimistic, and they try to see the good in the world, and they believe that the universe has their back, and then there's people that don't, and that go day by day with their limiting beliefs, and they're maybe just a little too logical. I think there needs to be a balance, for sure, but maybe a little too logical, and it just breaks my heart, and I just don't want to surround myself with people like that anymore because it is a choice. It is truly a choice to live a happy life and to see the best in all things, and your thoughts truly create your reality, and we have to ask ourselves, like, what story am I telling myself? I have been trying to rewire my brain through positive self-talk, through affirmations, through EFT tapping as I do my affirmations every day, or, like, even when I'm just going to the gym, I'll play this song. It's called Affirmations. You guys should all listen to it. It's so good, and it's just, like, this girl singing and going through all these affirmations and takes to a good beat, and I'll just play it on my way to the gym, and I'll do my EFT tapping as I literally sing the song, and it's so beautiful because that sets my day off like that, and, yeah, and it's, like, this is the era of choosing ourselves, okay? We are in this together, and we've got to do it. Like, even, like, waking up and immediately checking all your messages. Like, why are you immediately waking up and giving your energy to everybody else? Like, we need to be waking up and giving that energy to ourselves and making sure we are okay and we're good. Maybe do a little brain dumpski in your journal or your notes or whatever it is, and then, like, when your energy is solid and good, then you can show it for other people, and then, like, I don't know. Sometimes I'm just, like, scrolling on social media, and it's getting to that point, I'm sure you know, maybe, where it's, like, if I keep scrolling, like, my anxiety is going to get worse, but I'm going to keep scrolling, and I'm like, wow, if I would just, like, go inward right now, if I would just get off my phone and, like, pay attention to Jenna Jarvis, this version of me, this beautiful human right here before my eyes and add value to my life instead of adding anxiety and just bringing me down, like, I would benefit so much, and so that's something that I've been trying to do, and I'm hyped once again about this community because we will hold each other accountable. There's going to be challenges in there. There's going to be, like, a checklist that you can do every day. Eventually, there's going to be a mobile app with this. Right now, it's just, like, through web browser, but you can bookmark it on your phone, so it's kind of like an app in your phone, and then you'll get, like, push notifications and all the things. Yeah. It's going to be so good, but, yeah, to be totally honest, like, life has been so rough lately, but I've just been trying to see the beauty because so much has come from it, like, so much, and I'm really, really grateful for all of it and the changes that I'm experiencing, and it really is the way that you look at things, totally, and I've just been really careful about what type of media I'm consuming, what type of people I'm around, especially after doing ketamine sessions. I'm so sensitive to energy, like, so insanely sensitive. Like, if I'm around someone that is negative or really anxious or just bad vibes, I feel it to my core. Like, if I get on social media right after a ketamine session, like, it's just so, like, not good for me, and it just makes me realize, like, wow, I'm the most raw and real, connected to myself right now, and this is how I feel, and I need to realize that, like, I am sensitive in my daily life, too, and I am so much more sensitive to all of this media and all of these things, like, so much more sensitive than I think I am or I've allowed myself to see, I guess, in a sense, because I almost try to block it out. This chapter of my life has just been so interesting, and I felt so alone, like, I can't even explain to you, like, how alone I felt over this past year, and I never, like, I am vowing to myself that I will never, ever do that again. I will never surround myself with people that make me feel like I'm less than I am, and even if that's, like, me being alone, like, there's so many times that I'll just find myself alone instead of going out, and I'm so happy, and I'm just like, wait, I love, I love my own company, but, like, sometimes I'm like, oh, I don't want to be alone, I'm anxious, I'm anxious, but I just, it's like, you just have to work through those feelings. Like, when I feel that way, I'll bring them into my journal, or something that I like to do is I will just, I've talked about this before, but I have, like, an Instagram journal, and I, it's just a private Instagram, no one follows it, and I have just tons of videos of me talking to myself, like, talking through things, because sometimes it's easy, it's so easy to feel like a burden, and sometimes you just need to talk it through, and you don't really want to bug someone, and so I'll just talk it through on my little Instagram journal. I did that so much this year. And, yeah, I just learned so much, and I think, like, I don't even have the words to describe how much pain I experienced, and how it just made me feel like I don't want anyone to experience this pain, like, I want to help women out of these situations, and I just want to see everyone succeed. I don't want to have any jealousy, I just want to be everybody's type woman, and become the very best version of myself so I can show up for my partner, for my future kids one day, for all of my best friends, and, yeah, like, I don't want to spend any more time playing a victim in my own life, and allowing myself to be treated poorly, because it's so sad, like, leaving a relationship where someone didn't appreciate you, and didn't see you for who you were, and, like, just light up when you were there, or, like, illuminate different aspects of your life. I don't know. Like, it's just someone that doesn't show up for you, and it's so sad, and I'm so sad about it, but I'm not going to play the victim in this situation. I'm going to be like, whoa, like, how did I allow myself to go back to someone that didn't care about me, or how did I allow myself to stay in a situation that wasn't serving me? I fully allowed it, even though, like, it has a lot to do with my living beliefs, and thoughts from childhood, and all those things. Like, now I'm fully aware of it. I was aware before, but now I'm fully aware. But, like, I can't do that. Like, I can't play the victim in my own life. There's not enough time in this life for me to play the victim, because all it does is stunt my growth, and hold me back, which I do not want anymore. And I know I'm going to have ups and downs, of course, all the things, and, yeah, so much to come. But I'm really excited, and I just felt like the ketamine has helped me process so much in ways that, like, I didn't think. Like, I really thought I was going to be going back to these different traumatic times in my life, and these moments, and I was going to have, like, these visions, and remember things from my childhood that I didn't remember before. But it hasn't been anything like that. Like, the ketamine sessions, that's literally, like, I cannot even explain it. I don't, like, yeah. If I tried to explain it, it's like, like, the doctor, his name's Kyle, I call him Kyle, and he is like, and I'll be like, so did you see lava today, or did you see clouds? Because of my first session, I was just, like, in lava, and, like, but it was scary, but not super scary. And then, like, there'd be another point, I'm just like, on clouds, and it's just, like, so beautiful, and I don't even know what's going on in my brain, and sometimes it's, like, scary, or sometimes it's just so beautiful and blissful, but, like, I'm, like, I have no crazy thoughts. After my first session, something that I did say, and I kept repeating, is I always feel like I'm doing something wrong. Oh, that makes me cry. Because I do. Like, I actually do. Like, I always feel like someone's mad at me, or I'm doing something wrong, something I need to improve about my appearance, or about my company, which, it's awesome. Like, I'm so obsessed with growth and self-development and all these things, but there also is a point of being self-aware that you have to be aware of the good that you do, too, and that's something I'm realizing so much lately. I talked about that a little bit in my New Year's episode, but, yeah, I'm just learning I need to be more aware of that, and I'm still trying to unpack that, what I kept repeating, that, like, I always feel like I'm doing something wrong, but, yeah, just really going inward, because I'm, like, well, I just need to throw myself with people that don't make me feel that way, but I also have to tell myself and work through that myself, and so I can really get to that point and really believe it fully and become fully confident, so that if anyone does try to tell me something that I know is not true and that does not resonate with me and my character and who I truly am to my core, then it's just going to be like, oh, well, they're dumb. They're wrong. Whatever. They're projecting. Yeah, and I'm just trying to be super, super aware of what I'm personally projecting. Like, I think everybody's projecting constantly, like, the good and the bad, and I'm just trying to really figure out what I want to be projecting, how I want to show up for people and still have boundaries and be confident and be loving and be respected. Maddie Matthews posted on TikTok the other day, and it said, would you rather, would you rather, something about, would you rather people be really nice to you or would you rather people respect you? Something like that, and I was like, oh. Like, a younger version of me would have said, like, I just want everyone to be, wait, oh. I can't remember exactly what it was. Something about, I can't remember. Let's cut that out. Yeah. Guys, I'm hyped. I'm hyped about what's to come. I am, I don't, literally going to Bali and I don't even know where I'm going to live when I get back. I'm moving out of the place I'm in and I'm fully just restarting, and it's so funny. When I get to these points where I'm like, usually when I get out of a breakup, I'm like, I'm going to sell everything I own. I need to get a new car, I need to get a new bed, I need to do all these things, and then I'm just like, a little more chill, to be honest, which is exciting. Like, okay. Another thing about the ketamine is I, like, my OCD has not been as bad, which is insane. Insane. Like, I have experienced it my entire life, and the ketamine, like, my brain is just so much more clear. Like, I literally feel like my brain went through, like someone took out all the parts of my brain, okay, took them out, washed them, rinsed them, and put them back in. Like, usually my thoughts are like this, the highs and the lows and the highs and, like, my whole life it's been that way, because of different abuse I've experienced and different thoughts that I've had and beliefs and insecurities. It's just been boom, boom, boom, up and down, and, like, lately, it has just been, like, almost a straight line. Like, my brain is just so much more clear. There are definitely a little bit of waves in there, for sure. Fuller mode, for freaking sure. But, like, for the most part, it has just been so steady, which is so beautiful. And that's why I love ketamine. And sometimes I do get a little bit insecure about, like, maybe people thinking, like, oh, Jenna just does all these drugs to, like, heal her, and, like, she's just always escaping herself. But it's really not that, because I am constantly going inward and constantly trying to be better, and I think these are such amazing tools for us. They definitely can be abused, but the way that ketamine has changed my brain, I'm, like, it's so beautiful. It's so beautiful, and I just want everyone to know about it. And I do think, like, I work on myself so much every day. I do affirmations. I journal. I constantly go inwards. I'm trying, like, I confide in my friends, like, close friends, like, Chip and Cody that are doing the breath work. Like, tell me what I need to do better. How can I be a better person? Like, what am I missing, you know? And I meditate almost every day, and I'm just constantly, yeah, going inward. And I think that, like, the integration part of doing plant medicine and all this inner work is so crucial, so, so crucial, and I think a lot of people miss that. Like, I have so many friends that have gone and done ayahuasca or, like, big mushroom trips, and they're literally the exact same because they're not integrating what they're learning into their daily life and not doing these practices to go inward and to truly build a home within themselves. But, yeah, if you have any questions about ketamine or literally anything, please message me. Someone asked me the other day, like, do you think ketamine was better than ayahuasca? And I think that the benefit about ketamine is that you do it multiple times over, like, a couple weeks or however long you go. And ayahuasca was, like, one day. Like, I experienced the most raw, authentic, beautiful, highest version of Jenna Jarvis on ayahuasca. And through ketamine, it has been, like, my brain is just, like, I go do this big session and then go throughout my week and I'm processing everything. And then I go again and I do another session and then I have the full week to, like, process everything. Whereas with ayahuasca, I did it four nights in a row and then it was, like, you just go home to regular life and it's just, like, whoa. And after I did ayahuasca, I went to California and I stayed with my family and they're, like, nothing against us. But they're just, like, they don't know much about plant medicine. I didn't even tell them I did a plant medicine journey and they're super, super Mormon and so it just, I didn't really get back into my rhythm. And I think if I had done that and integrated it in a better way, it would have been a way more positive experience in the long run for me. But it still did literally change my life. So, yeah. I'm just really excited and I feel really blessed and I just truly think there's so much power in deciding and believing that you can create your own reality and you can become whoever you want to become. And, yeah, I'm so excited. And the ketamine is just truly, like, it's been so beneficial. Like, usually when I go through a breakup, even though this one was, like, so often on, like, usually when I go through a breakup, it's so, so painful. But I have literally cried barely since we broke up, which is unheard of. Like, that is literally never in a million years happened to me. Even if I didn't like someone, I probably cried a ton. Like, it's been really powerful. Like, I think I've just been able to think with such a more clear mind of, like, no, like, that's not what I want and I'm ready to move forward and I'm ready to choose myself and that's more important to me than anything else. And, yeah. So, we're going to get into it at Galentine's and then this community, the community will be launching February 8th, so the night of the event. So, pretty much, if you're not at the event, I would just say February 9th. It will be launching. And so much to come in that. I'm so excited and I'm going to be doing, like, Zoom calls and, like, the community check-ins and breath work and some movement from Bali, too. I've been there, which will be so exciting and fun and I'll share all the goodies on there. I also started a broadcast channel where I post the daily affirmations from the Redefine Fitness Vulnerabilities Cool Affirmation Bottle, which, if you don't have one of these, totally fine, but I'm literally obsessed with it because even if you just join the broadcast channel because it's so beautiful to, like I said, your thoughts create your reality and it's so beautiful to just start every day with an intention of whether this one is just I trust myself and then I send different ways to integrate that. You can integrate that through, like, I give journal prompts every day. I give a little, like, breathing exercise idea that you could do or, like, even something that Kelsey does. So her whole thing is working out because you love your body, not because you hate your body, which she might not say that's her whole thing, but from what I've seen from her, I'm like, that is my biggest takeaway and what I've learned from her is, like, no, like, my body is incredible and I am not going to shame my body and I'm going to love it and something that we do is you pick one of these affirmations, one every day for 30 days or whatever you choose and you get to, like, set the intention. So when you're working out, for example, this one is my intention is positive and powerful. So I did that the other day and at the gym the entire time I just kept repeating, like, my intention is positive and powerful and instead of, like, oh, my God, I'm so done with this set. Get me out of here or, like, oh, I just want to go home or, oh, I'm so tired. I'd be like, my mind totally shifted. Like, my workout was such a positive experience. Like, I was shocked when it ended which is not usually the case. Usually I'm like, okay, let's go. Just look at the clock a little bit, you know. But, yeah, just my intention is positive and powerful or another affirmation on here is I welcome challenge and champion my growth or I am perfectly me. So come join the broadcast channel. Join the community. All good things. All good, exciting, empowering things. And the exciting thing about the community is you don't have to get on social media to see the community. Like, for the broadcast channel you have to, like, get on Instagram, you know. But for the community it's going to be, like, a separate app. And so that's something that you can check. Check in with yourself. There's going to be different prompts in there. You can write an affirmation every day to, like, stay accountable and it can just kind of be a little escape from Instagram and social media and TikTok and all the things. So, yeah. So much to come and I'm so excited. And I'm just like, what other thoughts do I have right now? I don't know. I love doing these episodes. I love my podcast. And I'm really excited to, I don't, like, I don't want to go into, like, details of my past relationship or anything. It's just, I don't know. I'd rather keep that very, pretty private. But also because I think it was on and off for so long that I processed so much while I was in it. You know, I think I was grieving our relationship while I was in it, which is really sad but also beautiful because I'm able to, I feel like, move forward in such a more positive way now because I grieved for the past year and a half. So I'm just excited to share what I've learned about relationships and about myself and about truly showing up for myself and how we're definitely not supposed to be treated and how we should be treated and we deserve to be treated and all the things. And I just, I don't know. I don't ever want anything to be, like, a negative energy. I just think everything on here and everything that I want to do and create, I just want people to understand, like, the magic is in them. And life can be such a positive, beautiful experience. And sometimes you just have to lean into the unknown and jump right in, okay? Yeah. I'm just thinking about, yeah, okay. I'm going to cut that out. Yeah, so much to come. And I just really, I've just been keeping to myself and going so hard this week. And I have been surrounding myself with people that really respect me and really love me. And it's such a game changer. Like, my anxiety levels are so much lower than ketamine and also just, like, the people I surround myself. And, like, really, really doing the things that I always told myself that I would do and that I would encourage the girls in my group to do. And, yeah, it just feels so beautiful and it's all so new to me and it's a little uncomfortable. But that's what I love. I am leaning into the uncomfortable. This is Jenna's uncomfortable era. Okay? And last thing I'll touch on is just, like, I'm such a deep feeler. I'm so, I'm a sensitive person. I just learned about what highly sensitive people, what being a highly sensitive person means. And I wish I knew that when I was born because it has helped me understand so much more that, like, I take in four times the amount of information that a regular person does. So it takes me four times the amount to process things. And I'm sensitive to smells. I'm so sensitive to energy. And all these things that I just, like, always thought that I was a little bit crazy. But now that I realize that these things, I am like, oh, I just need to give myself more grace and I need to work with who I already am. Like, in the New Year's episode, I talked so much about, like, we just try to become a completely new person in the New Year and disregard everything that we've done and who we've become. And I'm like, I don't want to do that anymore. Like, I want to just add to what I already am and amplify who I already am. And, yeah, it's just so beautiful. And I really just want to create such deep, meaningful, positive connections in my life right now. And build the people in my life up so much. Like, I want everyone in my life to just believe they can achieve anything. And I want to help them get there and be the biggest support. And, yeah, I'm your most frickin' hype woman, okay? And I'm so excited to really show up for myself so I can show up for all of you and for all the amazing people in my life. And if I could have everyone in the world understand one thing, it is that you are made of magic and that the universe has your back. And that you deserve to live a beautiful life and be the authentic, genuine, kind, caring, loved, safe version of you. You deserve it. No questions asked. You deserve it. And you deserve to make other people feel that way. And because you're able to show up for yourself. So there's so much to come. Like, literally so much. I want to, like I said, do an episode of just all the things that I have learned through ketamine. I want to do another episode of all the things I've learned in this past year. Probably wait a little bit to do that just so I can process a little bit more. But, yeah. Like, all the things that I would tell Jenna that's leaving the church. And all the things I would tell Jenna that's going to Europe by herself for the first time. And then have people on here tell their stories and talk about their journeys and just bring people together. And now I'm just blabbering. But I love you all so much. And seriously, please reach out. If you need anything, if you have any questions, I'm here for you. I am here for you because I'm finally here for me. And those are all the things on my little cute note page right here. And shout out to Cody and Tiff for letting me use this cute little space. They're literally the best. And I'm so grateful for them. And, yeah. Look forward. Like I said, community's coming. It will be fully launched, everything, the night of February 8th. So really, like, February 9th. And then, Valentine's is this Saturday. If you want to come, if you have any questions about it, DM me. It will be a life-changing experience. The breath work will be amazing. Cody and Tiff, they're like a power couple. I'm so excited for you to experience their energy. And then the Ring Workshop with Shop for Lore. Maddie Douglas is one of my really, really good friends. And I'm obsessed with her. So all the good vibes. I've just been prepping and prepping and prepping. And I'm so excited. And just remember, the magic is in you. And you are worth it. In the name of vulnerability, amen.