9/11 Reflections by Jane

Reflections about September 11, 2001. The speaker recalls her experience of the events unfolding on television. She was deeply shaken by the horror and immediately called her husband to come home. The impact of the attacks was felt across America, with the skies becoming quiet and gatherings organized to discuss the emotional aftermath. The speaker's friend expressed hope for a reset and coming together as a result. She reflected on the ongoing work needed to heal and remember those affected, including first responders and victims' families. The speaker wishes for peace and a reaffirmation of humanity and unity on every 9/11 anniversary. On September 11, 2001, I think I had just left a message for my dear friend Anne, wishing her a happy birthday, when I got a message to turn on the television. (My wasband) Karl had just left with Ruby and Kai and some other children, taking them (with their) carpool from our ranch in Topanga, and was headed to Santa Monica, and I was just settling in to nurse our baby Violet, who was not but just even a year old at that point, and I turned on the television, and I saw the plane at the tower, and my whole body began to shake. I was always really careful about what I ate or watched or listened to while I was holding my babies or nursing them, and I didn't have any filters for what I saw or the horror that I saw at that point. I immediately called up Karl and said that there was something very wrong, and to please come (back) home right now with the kids, that I'm sure that all the schools are going to be closed very soon--just to turn around and just come home, and I would tell him about it more when he got there, and by the time he arrived, I was crying and upset, and I think that we probably scooted our kids off into another room so that he and I could watch (more of) it together. It was incomprehensible how this rocked all of America, and I remember in the days that passed, as we were trying to figure out what had gone on, how could this happen to so many people, the skies got very quiet. We were used to having very high-flying planes going over our ranch, over the Santa Monica Mountains, but suddenly, everything was clear. There wasn't a plane in the sky. We called a circle--I used to facilitate large gatherings, mostly for women, and I called a circle for my circle. And we had about 100 people show up at our ranch. (It was) too big for our normal circle (medicine wheel) where we would gather to celebrate rites of passage, like weddings or baby showers, or talk about the solstice or the equinox, but this time we were gathering to talk about the impact of this on our hearts. I remember being very, very rattled and sad and scared for the world, and across the circle, directly across the circle, was my dear friend Heather, who was surprisingly light. She had lived in New York a lot longer than I ever had and had a real relationship to New York, and while she felt terrible for all the things that had happened, I remember her feeling and expressing some kind of hope that this would give a good reset. (It would be) a good reset to our world, a good reset for our hearts, and a good reset for how we could come together. Goodness knows, we came together. A lot of people came together to help, but there's still a lot of work to be done. I look up at the skies now, and I see the planes flying overhead and the noisiness of them sometimes. I think about what a strange thing it was for us to have this big quiet, this immense quiet over our skies before they let the planes fly again. My heart goes out to everyone that's impacted, that's been impacted. All the first responders who went in there so bravely and endured so much and are still carrying the burden of what they inhaled and what they saw. My heart goes out to all the families that were impacted, who lost loved ones, and to the city that will always have this memory. May everyone have peace today, and may every 9-11 be a day we reaffirm our humanity and our oneness with the world. How can we do so much better, creating peace with all nations and one another?