english podcast (Asia)

Heather recounts her experience of rafting down a raging river in Asia. Initially hesitant, she eventually takes charge and successfully navigates the river. However, when faced with a waterfall, she becomes overwhelmed by fear and is thrown out of the raft. Paralyzed with fear, she contemplates sinking to the bottom but is reminded of the presence of fish in the water. With newfound adrenaline, she swims back to the surface and is greeted by her teammates, who offer encouragement and support. Heather realizes that she is neither a fool nor a hero, but simply herself. Heather, get up and go! I couldn't seem to tap into what my reality had become within a few seconds. As I watched my guide crash into the raging water, I knew deep down that I would have to step in and do something. It felt like my world was on an ever-ending roller coaster. I could hear people shouting my name, and I could see the panicked faces of the girls on my raft. But none of that seemed to matter, not as long as the water kept glaring at me, warning me not to go in. Now, don't get me wrong. I knew Asia was covered in water, but I didn't exactly know what I was in for. I mean, I knew I was going to travel to Taiwan and Laos to teach English and do some reforestation work. Still, nobody ever said that I was going to have to build a bamboo raft and ride down the raging river to get to these communities. That, I never signed up for. What got me to finally move was the fact that I was only thinking about myself. I knew the girls would be fine if they had fallen into the water, but if I fell, I would have let myself sink to the bottom. With everyone yelling my name, I got up and placed myself at the edge of the raft. One first stroke after the other, I began to redirect the raft. Everything was going my way. The water was moving fast, but not enough for me to lose control. And everyone praised me for stepping up. I was a goddess, cruising down the rainforest of Thailand. The world was spinning for my own convenience. Until I saw this small, but safe waterfall. As we inched closer and closer to the drop, I took the time to think about all of my wrongdoings. I was convinced this waterfall was some sort of karma for something that I did. I thought to myself, hey, I did it once. I can do it again. I am not afraid. Before I knew it, I had collected enough courage to put on my warrior's face and conquer this waterfall. I positioned myself as the guides instructed. I was prepared to leave this raft and everyone on it. Three of my guides were ahead of me, leading their own rafts. One by one, I saw how easily they made it seem to get past the powerful, but daring stream ahead. I was in awe. As they conquered the stream head on, I tried to pick up their body language to the best of my knowledge, making it seem like I knew what I was doing. At this point, I was just lying to myself. I was just lying to myself. As we inched closer and closer to the drop, the girls on my raft kept looking back at me, questioning my every movement as if I were a judge in a courtroom ready to give my sentence to. As much confidence as I had in myself, their eager looks were what was really throwing me off. I was either going to be praised or I was going to make a complete fool of myself. There was no in between. My body was stiff and mixed with excitement and fright. It was finally our turn to get across the fall. Everyone was shunning at me, telling me I could do it. And I knew I could do it. Wrong. I made the mistake of having a staring competition with the water. I knew it didn't want me in it. And trust me, I didn't want anything to do with the water either. The voices around me started to sound very faint, as if they were screaming at me underwater. At this moment, I knew I was alone with my thoughts and my worst fears. Within a second, I felt every inch of confidence quickly leave my body and be replaced by fear. I could hear and see the water crashing and making a riot. I tried to put my paddle down into the water to steer the raft away from the stream. But with my luck, of course, my paddle landed in between two rocks. I was flung out of the raft. And there I was, sinking to the bottom of the river. I was so paralyzed with fear that I would rather sink than try and fight my way back to shore. The water was freezing cold. And whenever I opened my eyes, I could only see brown, gooey water. As I replayed the incident in my head over and over, something finally brought me to my senses. I was not alone in the water. Yes, I was letting myself sink. But I knew deep down that I was not alone. There were fish in the same water with me, promptly swimming carefree right next to me. Again, I felt the fear leave my body and be replaced with adrenaline. I shot up like a torpedo, using all of my strength to swim back to the top. When I got to the top, I saw everyone on land. They had basically pulled over and waited for me to get back on the raft. Who would have thought? As I emerged from the water, everyone started shaking my hand and patting me on the back, saying encouraging words. I was wrong. After this incident, I was neither a fool nor a hero. I was just Heather.