Post episode one voice only rough

The Healing Not Crazy podcast, hosted by Natalie, focuses on emotional abuse, particularly gaslighting, in relationships. Gaslighting is a form of manipulation that makes you doubt your reality. Various types of narcissists are discussed, including grandiose, covert, communal, malignant, and overt narcissists. Each type uses gaslighting in unique ways to control and confuse their victims. The podcast aims to empower survivors to recognize these behaviors and reclaim their sense of self. Welcome to the Healing Not Crazy podcast, the space where you get to finally name the madness, call out the manipulation, and start rebuilding your reality. I'm your host, Natalie, and if you've ever second-guessed your memory, doubted your instincts, or wondered if maybe you really are the problem, you are absolutely in the right place. This podcast was created for anyone who has felt the invisible weight of emotional abuse, especially from someone they once trusted deeply. Whether you're in a relationship, coming out of one, or trying to make sense of the years that broke you down, today's episode is for you. In this pilot episode, we're breaking down the number one question so many women have, even if they don't have the words for it yet. Am I being gaslit? Gaslighting is the slow erosion of your inner voice. It's not just being lied to, it's being lied to in a way that makes you question your entire sense of reality. Over time, this psychological manipulation rewires your brain, reshapes your confidence, and causes even the most intelligent, intuitive, and strong-hearted people to feel like they're walking on eggshells. And here's the hardest part, you might not even realize it's happening until your world is already upside down. So before we dive into definitions and examples, I want to say this. If you feel off, if your gut is screaming, if you've started second-guessing yourself more than trusting yourself, you don't need a textbook to tell you that something is wrong. You just need a safe place to land. This podcast is that place. When we talk about narcissistic abuse, most people picture loud, explosive, or dramatic personalities. But in reality, narcissistic behavior can be subtle, charming, and even socially praised. Narcissism exists on a spectrum, but in emotionally abusive relationships, we often see patterns like extreme lack of empathy, entitlement or superiority, defensiveness when confronted, love-bombing followed by devaluation, manipulative tactics like brain-shifting, triangulation, and projection, a need to be seen as a good guy, even if it means rewriting history. Narcissists can be the person who brings you coffee and compliments you in public while ignoring you criticizing you or withholding affection in private. It's not just their behavior that hurts. It's the fact that the inconsistency destroys your ability to trust your own perception. And that's where gaslighting comes in. Gaslighting is one of the most dangerous tools in the narcissist's toolbox because it's meant to disarm you without leaving a bruise. It can sound like, that never happened. You're imagining things. You're too sensitive. It was a joke. Why are you always looking for a reason to fight? You're always so negative. Why do you always make me out to be the villain? Any of this sound familiar? These aren't just words. They're power plays, and they're used to keep you confused, compliant, and quiet. Over time, you begin to believe you are too sensitive or too traumatic or too emotional or always negative, and slowly you lose yourself. But here we are to take it back, piece by sacred piece. In this episode, we'll walk through each type of narcissist, how to gaslight differently, and how to spot it before you spin into self-blame again. By the end, you'll have a clearer understanding of why you feel so emotionally confused, how to trust your gut again, what to say or not to say when it happens again. You are not broken. You are not crazy. And your story isn't over. It's just beginning. So grab a warm drink, find a quiet space, and let's dive into what no one taught us that every survivor deserves to know. In this segment, we're going to explore the major types of narcissists, because one of the biggest reasons people stay stuck in these relationships is because they don't actually know who they're dealing with. Not all narcissists look the same. Some are loud and in your face. Others are quiet and calculating. Some shower you with praise and then withhold love to keep control. Some hide behind victimhood. Understanding the distinctions between each type is key to reclaiming your clarity and power. So let's walk through the most common types you may encounter. The grandiose narcissist. Let's begin with one of the most recognizable types, the grandiose narcissist. These individuals tend to be charismatic, confident, and obsessed with achievement, power, or status. They often speak highly of themselves, dominate conversations, and love being the center of attention. On the surface, they may seem successful or inspiring, but their self-worth is built on fragile ego and constant external validation. Their entitlement runs deep. If they don't get the praise or recognition they believe they deserve, they may lash out, become cold, or belittle others. They struggle to handle criticism and may exaggerate accomplishments or outright lie to maintain their grand image. But not all narcissists are this obvious. Enter the covert narcissist. The covert narcissist is the wolf in sheep's clothing. Quiet, passive, and often presenting as sensitive or even shy. But underneath, they harbor the same grandiosity, entitlement, and lack of empathy. They are masters of guilt, subtle manipulation, and passive-aggressive behavior. They may constantly play the victim, use silence or withdraw as punishment, and rely on others to regulate their self-esteem without ever appearing demanding. Covert narcissists are especially confusing because they rarely look like villains. They often say things like, I just want everyone to be happy or I'm sorry you feel that way, making you doubt whether they even meant harm. But that's the point. They operate in emotional shadows. Now let's take a look at a type that's deeply rooted in image. The communal narcissist. The communal narcissist seems generous, spiritual, or community-driven. They present as helpers, activists, volunteers, or super parents. On the surface, they appear kind and selfless, but everything they do is rooted in how it makes them look to others. They seek admiration through perceived goodness and will often weaponize that image if you challenge them. They may say things like, after all I've done for you, or use their helpfulness as currency in a relationship. Their kindness isn't unconditional. It comes with strengths and expectations of praise. From here, we will shift into much darker territory. The malignant narcissist. Malignant narcissists combine narcissism with traits of antisocial behavior, paranoia, and even sadism. These are often the most dangerous. They lie with ease, manipulate without remorse, and may intentionally seek to harm or dominate others for support or satisfaction. They're controlling, vindictive, and may engage in emotional or even physical abuse to assert their power. Unlike other narcissists, malignant ones are often fully aware of their manipulation, and they enjoy it. There's a darkness to this type that goes beyond emotional immaturity. Now let's talk about a type that thrives off chaos. The overt narcissist. The overt narcissists are often confused with grandiose narcissists. Overt narcissists are louder, more confrontational, and unapologetically entitled. They may insult, interrupt, and criticize openly. They make you feel small to feel big. These are the people who seem to roll over boundaries, dominate conversations, and believe the rules don't apply to them. They love conflict because it gives them a stage. And if you challenge them, they'll escalate until you back down, or until you look like the crazy one. Now that we've covered the major types of narcissists, in the next segment we'll look at how each of these uses gaslighting in unique and deeply damaging ways. Alright, now that we've laid the foundation by understanding the different types of narcissists, let's move into something even more important, how each of these types manipulates reality through gaslighting. This next segment is going to feel like you're finally being seen. You're going to hear stories that sound a lot like yours, because gaslighting isn't just a word, it's an experience. The overt narcissist. Let's start with the overt narcissist. Loud, arrogant, and always demanding is in our stage. Scenario 1. Your partner constantly corrects you in public, loudly. If you mispronounce a word or get a detail wrong in a story, they jump in, not to help, but to humiliate. And when you react, they accuse you of being too sensitive or insecure. Scenario 2. They tell you that no one else would ever put up with you, so you better be grateful they do. You start questioning whether you're really that difficult to love. Scenario 3. After a fight they caused, they give you something extravagant. But if you don't react with awe and gratitude, they use it as proof that you're ungrateful, twisting the narrative in their favor. The covert narcissist. Now let's move on to the covert narcissist. The quiet victim. The one who wears humility like armor, while still manipulating the room. Scenario 1. You express your feelings and they respond with silence or a sigh. Later they'll say you were overwhelming or they just couldn't handle the drama. Scenario 2. They weaponize their past traumas as a way to avoid accountability. If you bring up a hurtful behavior, suddenly you're the monster for reopening their wounds. Scenario 3. You catch them in a lie or contradiction, and instead of owning it, they cry or they deflect. Now you're comforting them instead of having your truth heard. The malignant narcissist. Let's talk about the malignant narcissist. This type blends narcissism with cruelty, even sadism like we mentioned earlier. They enjoy control and they enjoy your confusion. Scenario 1. You express concern for your safety or discomfort, and they laugh. Not only do they ignore your fear, they enjoy your reaction. Scenario 2. You're accused of cheating or lying, things you've never done, but this is projection and they use it to destabilize your trust in yourself. Scenario 3. They isolate you slowly, first from friends, then family, and finally from your own voice. You start hearing their voice in your head more than your own. The communal narcissist. Now here comes the communal narcissist. They seem generous, kind, even spiritual. Everything they do, even charity, is a sage. Scenario 1. You mention feeling overlooked and they say, I just organized a fundraiser last week, do you think I have time for your constant needs? Scenario 2. You try to express your needs quietly, but they remind you how lucky you are to be with someone so admired by the community. Scenario 3. They use their reputation as a shield. Do you know how many people love me? Maybe you're the one who's difficult. The vulnerable narcissist. Last, the vulnerable narcissist. This one feels more confusing. They seem fragile, wounded, but the manipulation is still there. Scenario 1. You say something hurtful in the heat of the moment, and for weeks they bring it up as proof that you are the toxic one. Scenario 2. They claim no one understands them but you, so if you ever set a boundary, they spiral emotionally, making you feel like their lifeline. Scenario 3. Every confrontation ends with them collapsing emotionally and saying things like, maybe I'm just a terrible person. It turns your anger into guilt. Now that we've talked about each narcissist and their preferred method of gaslighting, narcissists can actually switch between types and gaslighting styles. It makes it all that much more confusing. So one of the most confusing aspects of dealing with narcissistic individuals is they often don't fit neatly into a single box. They may primarily operate as one type, say covert, but switch to overt or malignant behaviors when it suits them. This fluidity makes it even harder for partners or loved ones to get a clear read on what's happening. The same is true for gaslighting styles. A narcissist might use trivialization one day, denial the next, and then shift into projection. These changes are usually not random. They're tactical. They often switch up their manipulative approaches based on your emotional state, the environment, or how close they are to being exposed or losing control. This is why learning to recognize the behaviors, not just the labels, is so important. Whether they're using minimization, blame shifting, or rewriting history, the common thread is this. The truth always feels just out of reach, and you're left second guessing your own memory, intuition, and emotions. If you felt like your experience is inconsistent or like you're dealing with multiple versions of the same person, it's not in your head. It's part of the narcissistic playbook, and naming it is the first step in reclaiming your clarity. And that brings us to something deeply important, how all of this actually feels when you're living inside it. When we talk about gaslighting and narcissistic abuse, it's easy to keep it in the intellectual realm, naming patterns, identifying behaviors, spotting red flags. But here's where it gets real. Gaslighting doesn't just affect your thoughts. It alters your nervous system, your emotional stability, and your sense of self. Let's start here. When someone is constantly rewriting your reality, telling you things didn't happen the way you remember, implying you're too sensitive, accusing you of imagining things, your body registers that as a threat. And the threat isn't just the argument itself. It's the persistent invalidation of your reality. Over time, your nervous system shifts into survival mode. Chronically, this is called chronic stress activation. Your sympathetic nervous system, the part of you that's meant to handle emergencies, gets stuck in the on position. You might feel hypervigilant, jumpy, or like you can never truly relax. That's because your body has learned that danger can come from someone you love. It's confusing, it's disorienting, and it's not your fault. When gaslighting is ongoing, it chips away at your confidence. You may find yourself second guessing everything, even basic decisions. Should I send this text? Did I overreact? Am I really that selfish? Am I a narcissist? He says I'm the narcissist. Maybe I am the narcissist. These aren't harmless questions. They're signs of internalized self-doubt. And that's one of the deepest wounds gaslighting leaves behind. One of the most painful aspects of gaslighting is identity erosion. You begin to forget who you were before this relationship. Maybe you used to laugh easily, or trust your instincts, or feel grounded in your opinions. Now you walk on eggshells, bracing for correction or criticism, unsure of where your truth ends and where your story begins. And here's something I want to say loud and clear. This kind of psychological erosion is not weakness. It's not you being fragile. It's a trauma response. Gaslighting doesn't just hurt, it conditions you. Over time, your brain starts to associate disagreement or self-expression with danger. You shrink yourself not because you're weak, but because your body has learned We know that long-term exposure to gaslighting can lead to complex PTSD. That's not just a buzzword. CPTSD includes symptoms like emotional flashbacks, difficulty regulating emotions, a deep sense of shame, and struggles with trust or intimacy. If you've experienced this, please know you are not broken. You're responding in a very human way to a very inhumane pattern. Let's talk about emotional exhaustion. This is one of the most common experiences for people in narcissistic relationships. You feel drained all of the time, not just physically, but spiritually. That's because you're spending so much of your energy managing their moods, defending your reality, trying to avoid conflict, or making sense of the chaos. It's like being in a constant tug-of-war with no rest. It's like being in a constant tug-of-war with no rest. It's like being in a constant tug-of-war with no rest. It's like being in a constant tug-of-war with no rest. It's like being in a constant tug-of-war with no rest. It's like being in a constant tug-of-war with no rest. It's like being in a constant tug-of-war with no rest. It's like being in a constant tug-of-war with no rest. It's like being in a constant tug-of-war with no rest. It's like being in a constant tug-of-war with no rest. It's like being in a constant tug-of-war with no rest. It's like being in a constant tug-of-war with no rest. It's like being in a constant tug-of-war with no rest. It's like being in a constant tug-of-war with no rest. It's like being in a constant tug-of-war with no rest. It's like being in a constant tug-of-war with no rest. It's like being in a constant tug-of-war with no rest. It's like being in a constant tug-of-war with no rest. It's like being in a constant tug-of-war with no rest. It's like being in a constant tug-of-war with no rest. It's like being in a constant tug-of-war with no rest. It's like being in a constant tug-of-war with no rest. Slowly, your voice will begin to return. Your truth begins to feel solid again. You learn to recognize gaslighting not as a reflection of your flaws, but as a tactic of control. You learn to recognize gaslighting not as a reflection of your flaws, but as a tactic of control. You learn to recognize gaslighting not as a reflection of your flaws, but as a tactic of control. You learn to recognize gaslighting not as a reflection of your flaws, but as a tactic of control. You stop defending yourself to someone committed to misunderstanding you. You stop defending yourself to someone committed to misunderstanding you. You stop defending yourself to someone committed to misunderstanding you. You stop defending yourself to someone committed to misunderstanding you. You stop defending yourself to someone committed to misunderstanding you. You stop defending yourself to someone committed to misunderstanding you. You stop defending yourself to someone committed to misunderstanding you. You stop defending yourself to someone committed to misunderstanding you. You stop defending yourself to someone committed to misunderstanding you. You stop defending yourself to someone committed to misunderstanding you. You stop defending yourself to someone committed to misunderstanding you. You stop defending yourself to someone committed to misunderstanding you. You stop defending yourself to someone committed to misunderstanding you. You stop defending yourself to someone committed to misunderstanding you. You stop defending yourself to someone committed to misunderstanding you. You stop defending yourself to someone committed to misunderstanding you. You stop defending yourself to someone committed to misunderstanding you. You stop defending yourself to someone committed to misunderstanding you. You stop defending yourself to someone committed to misunderstanding you. You stop defending yourself to someone committed to misunderstanding you. You stop defending yourself to someone committed to misunderstanding you. You stop defending yourself to someone committed to misunderstanding you. You stop defending yourself to someone committed to misunderstanding you. You stop defending yourself to someone committed to misunderstanding you. You stop defending yourself to someone committed to misunderstanding you. You stop defending yourself to someone committed to misunderstanding you. You stop defending yourself to someone committed to misunderstanding you. You stop defending yourself to someone committed to misunderstanding you. You stop defending yourself to someone committed to misunderstanding you. You stop defending yourself to someone committed to misunderstanding you. You stop defending yourself to someone committed to misunderstanding you. You stop defending yourself to someone committed to misunderstanding you. You stop defending yourself to someone committed to misunderstanding you. You stop defending yourself to someone committed to misunderstanding you. You stop defending yourself to someone committed to misunderstanding you. You stop defending yourself to someone committed to misunderstanding you. You stop defending yourself to someone committed to misunderstanding you. You stop defending yourself to someone committed to misunderstanding you. You stop defending yourself to someone committed to misunderstanding you. You stop defending yourself to someone committed to misunderstanding you. You stop defending yourself to someone committed to misunderstanding you. You stop defending yourself to someone committed to misunderstanding you. You stop defending yourself to someone committed to misunderstanding you. You stop defending yourself to someone committed to misunderstanding you. You stop defending yourself to someone committed to misunderstanding you. You stop defending yourself to someone committed to misunderstanding you. You stop defending yourself to someone committed to misunderstanding you. You stop defending yourself to someone committed to misunderstanding you. You stop defending yourself to someone committed to misunderstanding you. You stop defending yourself to someone committed to misunderstanding you. You stop defending yourself to someone committed to misunderstanding you. You stop defending yourself to someone committed to misunderstanding you. You stop defending yourself to someone committed to misunderstanding you. You stop defending yourself to someone committed to misunderstanding you. You stop defending yourself to someone committed to misunderstanding you. You stop defending yourself to someone committed to misunderstanding you. You stop defending yourself to someone committed to misunderstanding you. You stop defending yourself to someone committed to misunderstanding you. You stop defending yourself to someone committed to misunderstanding you. You stop defending yourself to someone committed to misunderstanding you. You stop defending yourself to someone committed to misunderstanding you. You stop defending yourself to someone committed to misunderstanding you. You stop defending yourself to someone committed to misunderstanding you. You stop defending yourself to someone committed to misunderstanding you. You stop defending yourself to someone committed to misunderstanding you. You stop defending yourself to someone committed to misunderstanding you. You stop defending yourself to someone committed to misunderstanding you. You stop defending yourself to someone committed to misunderstanding you. You stop defending yourself to someone committed to misunderstanding you. You stop defending yourself to someone committed to misunderstanding you. You stop defending yourself to someone committed to misunderstanding you. You stop defending yourself to someone committed to misunderstanding you. You stop defending yourself to someone committed to misunderstanding you. You stop defending yourself to someone committed to misunderstanding you. You stop defending yourself to someone committed to misunderstanding you. You stop defending yourself to someone committed to misunderstanding you. You stop defending yourself to someone committed to misunderstanding you. You stop defending yourself to someone committed to misunderstanding you. Don't bypass the grief just to feel strong. Strength is found in the tears too. Don't bypass the grief just to feel strong. Strength is found in the tears too. Now let's talk about tending to your children without losing yourself. Because if you're a mother, this part is especially for you. You are not just rebuilding for yourself, you're rebuilding a safe world for your children. But that does not mean abandoning your own healing in the process. Children don't need a mother who's perfect. They need a mother who's honest, emotionally available, and safe. That begins with you tending to your own wounds. It's okay if they see you cry. It's okay if they see you rest. It's okay if they see you say no. You are teaching them, by example, how to reclaim their own voice, their own space, and their own sense of worth. How about reclaiming joy and pleasure? One of the coolest outcomes of narcissistic abuse is how it robs you of joy. You forget how to laugh. You forget how to dream. You stop allowing yourself to want things because for so long, wanting was punished. You're numb. The rebuild means giving yourself permission to feel again, to want again, to create again. This could mean dancing in the kitchen the music you used to love, or trying a new class, or sitting in the sun and letting yourself just be. Your joy is not selfish. It's your birthright. Now we need to create a vision for the future. This is the part where you allow yourself to imagine. What does your life look like now that you're not stuck in cycles of confusion, guilt, and survival mode? Who are you when you're not constantly being gaslit or second-guessing your every move? Write it down. Say it out loud. Create a vision board if that helps you tap in. The future of you is waiting for you to say yes. The sacred rebuild is not linear. You may revisit grief, feel waves of doubt, or even question whether things were really that bad. That's normal. That's part of the unlearning. But if you ever find yourself back in that doubt spiral and want you to come back to this truth, you don't need proof to leave a situation that's hurting your soul. You don't need to convince anyone of your pain to honor it, and you don't need permission to heal. You are allowed to begin again. You are allowed to protect your light. And most of all, you are worthy of peace that doesn't require pain as a prerequisite. Thank you for being here with me for this powerful first episode. If it spoke to your soul, please share it with someone who needs it, too. And make sure you're following for more sacred conversations. I'll see you in the next episode, where we'll keep dismantling toxic patterns and rebuilding our truth together. You are healing, you are not crazy, and I am with you.