Final English Podcast

Social media can lead to conformity and a loss of individualism. It is normal for children to want to conform to their peers' ideas, especially during puberty. However, social media can also help create identity and foster creativity. Parents should consider the positive aspects of social media use for their children, as it can shape their future selves. Waiting until children are older to use social media and discussing the importance of staying true to oneself online are important. Taking breaks from social media to maintain individual thoughts and avoid group mentality is also necessary. Hello, my name is Haley Best, and if you're here, you're probably a parent who has some concerns and reserves about social media use for your new child or maybe your teenager. You're still trying to navigate the whole online scene with them. So there are a lot of issues that probably come to mind when you're thinking of your child being exposed to social media. And there's a main one that I feel like maybe you're acknowledging as your child grows older, as your child kind of maybe is hitting that stage of puberty or they're about to enter high school, and you're scared maybe that they're going to kind of veer away from maybe your own personal ideas. And I'm here to tell you that while the issue of your child maybe conforming to social media and wanting to be more similar to their friends, I'm here to tell you that that is completely normal, and it's not really something to be scared of when considering your decision on social media use for your child. So my issue today that I kind of want to highlight for you parents is the issue of how social media can kind of lead to conformity and the quote-unquote loss of individualism within. I mean, just people in general. I kind of narrowed more towards teens because I feel like parents have a better sense of acknowledging their real life from their social media life. But for teens and kids, it can kind of be difficult because you want to have this fake life online that's not really matching your authentic side. So I just want to kind of quick define kind of the issue at hand so that we can all be on the same page and kind of what we're dealing with and what I'm trying to persuade you that social media does do and kind of what more it can be positive within this aspect of creativity and creating identity. So according to Google, individualism is the moral stance, political philosophy, ideology, and social outlook that emphasize the intrinsic worth of the individual. So basically just kind of your own moral beliefs and your own thinking and how you stand, not compared to anybody else, just you. So I think a big issue that I've seen on social media has, you know, kind of been social media can maybe limit self-expression in a way. And maybe as a parent you're scared that your kid is going to turn into maybe someone that you had not envisioned for them, maybe someone that is wearing clothes that you would not put them in or something, right? And like I said earlier, it's completely normal and it's going to happen, especially if your kid is just entering puberty. And I think a big thing and a big aspect of social media is how it can in turn create identity rather than turning it down and making it worse, like not worse, but maybe in a parent mind not ideal, right? For myself, I have seen a lot of trends and on TikTok, right, it's a music site, so I've seen videos say, hey, try these five songs and maybe add them to your playlist. And I feel like, yeah, I found a lot of great fashion choices. I started off kind of basic, basic, wanting to be more similar to everyone else, wanting to wear the same white t-shirt and jeans that I saw every other girl wear. But as time went on, I found more personal interests of mine that were more specific to me. And in a way, I still conformed because I got my ideas from Pinterest. I got my ideas from other videos of girls wearing outfits, but that's not necessarily bad. Everyone's conforming in some sense, no matter what it is, to what extent is what's important, right? Why and how you're doing it. But I feel like I was able to find a style that I liked and it made me stand out kind of in a way, which maybe I didn't want, especially in high school. No one really wants to stand out. But I was finally wearing clothes that I liked and I think I do kind of owe that to a presence of, I don't post on social media, but from videos that I've seen and kind of what I gathered and picked up on. And I think that's important and I think that parents should keep that in mind, that their kid is going to be exposed to a lot of stuff on social media, but I think it's going to be a lot of creativity. It's going to be a lot of things that are going to help form them into the person that they are going to be in the future, in the long run. And it's not really something to kind of hide away from when debating social media use for your child. Okay. Hello. I have Emma Newby here. Hi. She's going to give her personal take on this issue. So Emma, we're talking to parents here today, right? So did your parents ever say, you can't have social media growing up? Were they like, you have to wait until you're in middle school or something? I think so. When I was little, I wasn't able to have it. And then I think my mom finally let me get it in middle school maybe. And she had told me like, we're both going to be logged in and I'll see what you're posting or whatever. And so, yeah. And were you begging your mom or were you just upset with her about it? Or were you just like, oh, this is what she says. Okay. I don't know. I think I was like a little kid, I guess. I mean, in middle school, you start to have your own opinions. But I also just think I was kind of like, oh, okay. I mean, I'll just wait. And then whenever it happens, it happens. So did you ever feel like a sense of FOMO if you saw other people on social media? I guess sometimes. I feel like back in my day in middle school, it wasn't as popular for people to have their phones and stuff. So I feel like it wasn't as much of like, oh, but she has it. Because kind of no one had it. And you kind of like still saw trends anyway, right? Yeah. When you get out of school, you see, oh, these kids are wearing this. You didn't have to have a phone necessarily. So like after getting social media, how did you feel like it changed your personality or like just changed you in a way, I guess? If it did. I feel like being on social media just kind of took a lot of my time now. I kind of just scroll through social media a lot. I like to think that it hasn't changed me as much like my personality and kind of who I am. But I think sometimes I definitely get influenced by the trends or like how I want to cut my hair or what clothes I want to wear. But I don't have TikTok. And so I feel like I get the late trends on Instagram. So I kind of I'm not with the times. I don't really get trends until they're way after. That's true. Have you ever like tried to do a trend and your mom was like, no, we're not doing that or no, I'm not letting you do that in a way? Or was she kind of just like, OK, do whatever is fine? I think she was she was very hesitant to let me go on at first just to kind of I think they were worried about like what was on social media and kind of what was like bad, I guess. But I don't know. I never really I definitely made like cringy musical.lys and stuff. But I don't think it was. I don't know. I don't think I ever really wanted to do like any of the trends. I don't know. Yeah. Like more fashion stuff. Yeah. Older entering high school type stuff. So is there anything that you would say to a parent like that you wish your parents had done to you in terms of social media like advice or like to help you navigate it in a way? Could you tell a new parent? Yeah, I feel like waiting longer is important. I think that kind of waiting until your kid is old enough to like kind of understand what it is and kind of they have their own kind of like personality sense before they start getting social media is important. I think it kind of affects how you are, but it's not like I don't think social media like builds your personality. But I think it definitely sometimes has an influence on what you do. So I think just kind of talking to your kid about like this is like don't let it change you I guess. I don't know. Yeah. But yeah. But I also think sometimes people make too big of a deal out of it. And then it's like this thing that people really want to do. Kind of like I guess with like the drinking age. People are like they're really wanting to get to do it and then when they do it they're like oh it's like it's fine. Whatever. Yeah. So yeah. That's true. Just telling your kid make sure you're staying your true self online. It can be different, but it's not who you are authentically in a way. Makes sense. So do you think that it's been easy for you to kind of differentiate your online life from your real life? Have you ever had to like take a step back from social media just to do it or anything? I don't really post on social media. So in that sense it hasn't like taken over my life. Yeah. But I think sometimes I definitely am like I've been on my phone way too long doing scrolling through social media. I need to just take a break to kind of get my own thoughts and like not just be. I mean you're fed so much information either with politics or just like this shirt is really cool or like buy this Stanley Cup. I think sometimes taking a break from that and just kind of being able to create your own thoughts and step away is important. Yeah. Staying out of that group think mentality of following the crowd. Heard mentality. Yeah, exactly. Because that can be draining on like just in general on your mind, on your body. So now I'm not going to be here and tell you how to parent your child because I myself as a teen. I've just turned 19 and I don't have any kids, but I know what my parents went through. And when I was growing up, they always told me year after year like, oh, you have to wait till you're older for social media. Wait till you get to high school. Wait till you get to middle school, whatever it was. It was just year after year I'd have to. I don't know. I never felt like I knew what was happening and I was never really up to date. And I would go to school and I would see all these girls and I would see them wearing the, at the time, white Converse high top shoes. And I'd be like, oh, I want those or I want what these girls are wearing. Just because at middle school you want to, you don't want to be like your parents. You want to, I wanted my mom to stop picking on my outfits every day. I wanted to be more like the people that I was hanging out with. And so this isn't really an issue that comes down to social media. Well, everything that people do is a sense of conformity. You know, everyone falls into that loophole group think. And even parents and adults, I've seen it where they just see something that's popular or see an idea and maybe they're scared to say what they're really feeling. And they just kind of, oh, move on to the next and like, okay, whatever. So I just feel like it's not really something that parents should be too concerned about. And again, it all comes down to it's biologically natural for a child to want to kind of veer off and do their own thing. So if you have reservations kind of about, oh, my kid is going to see all these different things on social media and like politics or fashion trends. And something I saw recently, just in January, I believe, of 2024 or December 2023, a lot of these 11, 12 year old girls were rushing to Sephora to like, because they saw like brands that were popular. I think Drunk Elephant was the most popular one. And these girls were putting these chemicals on their face. And yeah, it was normal. You know, growing up as a girl, you kind of want to wear makeup and you buy like the fake doll makeup. And it's nothing really serious. But these girls are wearing what could really damage their skin. They're exposing their skin to chemicals at such a young age just to once again fit in. And I know that that can be concerning. And so I want to tell you that it's not something to dread, really. Why should you listen to me, right? Like I said, my parents limited my access to social media. And I never really, I guess at the time I presented my mom, I said, well, why does it matter if I have Instagram, blah, blah, blah. Like, I just want to see what everyone's up to. I just want to, I'm going to persuade you in any way I'd want it to be. Just to kind of not let your child have total free reign, especially when they're younger. But also to not be so harsh all the time. I think there's a good medium that can be found in educating your child. And as a parent, maybe you're still, I know social media is more like normal now. But I bet you grew up not exposed. Like it just wasn't around. And then it started popping up. And you were like, well, what is this? I don't know what I'm doing. And even as, like now I kind of grew up on that. And I still have no idea what I'm doing. Even if you're not sure how to navigate it, and that's why it's scary to expose your child to it, I think taking your own experiences and being like, hey, this is what I've seen. And I'm just, I want you to be safe. And that's something that I wish my parents had done more for me. Because when they finally did allow me to have social media, it was like everything was thrown at me at once, right? I didn't know what was going on. I myself felt scared. And my parents, I felt like my parents could have done maybe a better job saying, hey, I'm going to help you try to navigate this. And I think a big problem, and I saw research of this while I was preparing for this podcast, like 60% of parents kind of just let their child do whatever. And they see their child being negatively impacted, and they still don't do anything. And I think, well, if you have all these issues, right, but you're not going to do anything about it, I think that's the main thing that I kind of want to persuade you to do. So, yes. Thank you.