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The transcript is a conversation between two people discussing humorous and relatable aspects of marriage. They touch on topics like the challenges of sharing Wi-Fi passwords, separate Amazon accounts, dishwasher notes, aging vision, finding clean glasses, and dealing with snoring. They also joke about marriage secrets, the cost of divorce, and the importance of laughter. The conversation includes personal anecdotes and playful banter, ending with plans for future episodes. Overall, it's a lighthearted and entertaining discussion about the ups and downs of married life. Ready. Are you ready, honey? Yeah, I'm ready. For the next little segment, I thought we would do something a little more fun. You mean more fun? Yeah, more fun. So this has been less fun? I'm ready to have some more fun. All right. Not your fun, but. Oh, okay. No, I'm having fun. This is fun. I've enjoyed myself. Me too. Fruit, now I'm, yeah. Okay. Anyway, let's do a little segment called 8 Unfortunate Truths That Make a Marriage Last. Okay. Unfortunate truths. All right. Unfortunate truths. Number 8. Marriage doesn't kill you, but asking for the Wi-Fi password one more time will. Yeah, no, that is, that is accurate. Yeah. Unfortunately, the changes are subtle. There's no changes. There's always a change. It's an exclamation point or a space or a fucking digit. You know, the core is similar. It hasn't changed in five years. Oh, it's just changing. We have the guy, the AT&T guy come over, and the whole thing had to change. Remember, like everything changed. The name of it, the date, it's in braille now. It's a whole fucking to do. And it never takes the first time ever. No matter what password you put in, whether it's right or wrong, it has to kick it out. That's the way Jobs designed it before he fucking died. Whatever happened, that's just part of it. I can't. All right. Number 7. Whatever. Behind every happy marriage is separate Amazon accounts. That's fucking ridiculous. Yeah, that is absolutely, it's the death of us all. Social media and Amazon. All right. Number 6. Love saves, but passive-aggressive dishwasher notes are forever. I'm a lot of dishwasher. Yeah. Especially as of late. Yeah. Yeah. I'm a dishwashing fool. Okay. Some beg to differ. Number 5. Love is blind. Marriage restores your vision until you turn 45 and you can't see anything two centimeters in front of you. Yeah. That's a thing. We both need readers now. Yeah. That is a real thing. I can't even see what I'm eating in front of me. That's how bad it's gotten. Yeah. And then it changes. Your eyes supposed to have a different shape. The whole, none of it makes any sense. Fucking stupid. Well, number 4. You can never find them. You can never find a clean pair of glasses. Ever. It never exists. It's constantly like the filthiest shit ever. Just filthy. I can't. Yeah. And then they never clean. No matter what. Nobody ever saves a special little rag or anything else. You just use spit or whatever you can find. Nobody spits on their glasses. Trust me. Men do some weird, dirty shit. Yeah. Yeah. We're disgusting. You really are. You really are. Oh my God. Disgusting. Oh, no. Note to any women out there. No idea. Men are disgusting. If you ever shake your hand with a man, always wash your hands. Always. You have no idea where his hands are. Oh, I know exactly. We're all just filthy individuals. All right. Back to this list. Number 4. And I quote, whatever you want, honey, is the glue holding us together. Number 3. Helpful. Number 3. Sex is cheaper than therapy or will at least make your husband happy. That is the key. Right. One million percent. Number 2. Oh, number 2 is good. Divorce is expensive. So we just keep fighting for free. Oh, wow. That's a whole other. Yeah. Yeah. Number 1. Where did you find these? Let's say an internet find. This is a little bit of research. Yeah. Oh, OK. But obviously a little spin on it. No, no, no. I'm just I'm curious. That's all. Number 1. Unfortunate truth to make a marriage. That's going to be a good one. I have to clear my throat. This is going to be like boom, like aha. Maybe. OK. The number one secret to lasting marriage is drumroll, please. Outliving the fat sack of cash. Uh, yeah, that would be good. Outliving the urge to smother the other with a fucking pillow. Oh, yeah. Especially through my perimenopause. And you're snoring and I can't sleep. I don't snore. Are you for real? Only the only time I snore is when I'm flat or in the recliner. I have witnesses at the fire station. You know those fuckers record me. Yeah, I recorded you too. Oh, who does that shit? Record somebody else while they're deep in a slumber, unaware of what's going on. Like, that's just. Yeah, honey, nobody needs to be recording anybody while they're snoring. And why? You know, I've done it before. That's what I've got to say. Really? Because you've done stupid shit in your previous record. My six. No, that was the man like you'd swear like, holy shit, it would scare you. Oh, man, that's so gross. Oh, it was horrifying. Horrifying. I'm pretty sure you wrote on decks on people's faces, too. Oh, yeah, that was that was part of the time when we were kids. Yeah. Yeah. No, I passed out so bad. Yeah. Man, like just the face covered the bar. That was ruthless. That shit never came off. I just took a while. You use permanent marker. Well, what else is there? You have a highlighter pen or something. No, the pen doesn't write on skin. Well, it's fucking cool. Yeah, I know that that's that's not even up for debate. Whether it's cool or not, of course, horrifying. It's also fucking funny. Well, the one thing that you used to do as a kid and you would still love to do to this day at your age is forty nine box baseball. No. Oh, so I feel like Johnny on the plastic chair. Oh, my God. There's nothing funnier on the planet. I don't know why you still think that's funny. Can we attach a video to this? Yeah, I guess we'll attach it. Yeah. Oh, that would be like you could find those chairs. There's nothing funnier on the face of the earth. Again, that's just fucking cool, man. You know, that little fuck, Mikey, that I work with, got me on that during Christmastime. We were filming the show, the rescue me deal. Yeah, he got me so good. I fell on my fucking ass. He took out the leg. Yeah, I think there's a video of it, too, at some point. Maybe we'll have to add it. But I don't want the video of me going down. Yeah, no, I don't want anybody else. It's OK for you to do to other people, but then not to do it. Yeah, I don't want to watch myself look like a moron. That's so funny. Were you at least laughing because you would. Yeah, no, of course. I mean, out of respect. It was funny. Yeah, but you can't do it anymore. People break their back. No, yeah, you could. I mean, yeah, no, it's definitely there's danger in that game. But that was all the thing, like wherever you sat outside, it was the same Home Depot chair. Everybody fucking had it. It was the flimsiest legged piece of shit. And that thing sat outside and that UV got to it. And boy, it got brittle. And one little touch of that thing is a quick kick. I can I can see it in my mind right now. It's so fucking funny. It's the little things. I guess so. All right. Can we be done now? All right. Shit to do. Yeah, we did it. We did it. The first episode of the season should show in the book. We did it. Well, I think I kept my attention span pretty well, too. All right. Well, everybody paid a little bit, but OK, everybody's listening. I'm glad you joined us. Thanks for joining the chaos. And you survived. Yeah, I'm glad you survived to next week football because marriage arguments aren't enough so I can do it. I'll see you in the next show. Thanks. Bye.