talk on everyone else

In this talk, Georgia Baffin discusses the idea that our responses to others are not caused by their actions or words, but rather by our internal narrative. She suggests that if we examine our thoughts and beliefs about others, we can see that our experiences are shaped by our own perceptions. By questioning our thoughts and choosing how we view others, we can have a different and more positive experience. Georgia encourages listeners to try this approach with someone who irritates them and see the difference it makes. Hello, my name's Georgia Baffin and this is a talk about you and everybody else's fault So we're brought up to believe and told That everything that we experience is caused by somebody else That when somebody says something to me or somebody does something That my response my internal experience is created by them And of course if we really think about it If you put somebody you loved next to somebody you hated and They both said the same thing or both did the same action Would your response be the same Because if it is the action or the words that cause your response You'd have exactly the same experience from both of them And yet you won't have the same experience Unless you start to see That your response to anything That your response to anything Comes from your internal narrative to anything you experience out in life There's a really interesting experiment So if you had your best friend phone you now And you had a conversation and then you put the phone down and then you had your worstest friend phone You had a conversation and you put the phone down and Then 20 minutes later your best friend appeared at the door and You'd be thrilled to see them and then your worst friend appeared at the door And your response would be very different If you brought both of those people into the same room And You unzipped both their bodysuits and you heard Your thoughts about What they are inside under your ideas about them You very quickly realize that actually Nothing I think is about them And once we start to really kind of get a grip of this You start to see that The people at work that you go they irritate me That you think is about them Oh Okay So what if this isn't about what they've done said? What if it's just about the thoughts? That I've harbored fed grown in my head about them And that actually if I looked at them and I saw them Without the attachment to the thoughts of the ticker tape of Ideas and beliefs and constructs in my head about that person What do I actually see Because when you're looking at someone Through your ideas and beliefs and constructs that your wonderful mind has created You're only ever going to see Through the filter of that it's like it sits in front of your eyes So you are never ever ever seeing the reality of who is below Those filters of yours Because actually if it was about them We'd have the same experience of them all the time And I don't know about you, but I've had days where people I'm not keen on I've really loved And other days And other days where it has been like having teeth pulled out So how can that ever be about them? It has to come from my internal narrative And my internal narrative Is flexible, wafty Very unreliable But if I can love someone Deeply in one moment and be irritated with them in the next I can get to choose which of those versions I look at Because it gives me the opportunity to question What is the truth? It gives me the opportunity to question What is the truth of what I think? And the minute we start to question Did I create this? Is this truthful? Or is this just a habit that I've got into the way My mind is working when I look at people outside of me Then we start to have a very different experience of people So I'd ask you Someone who really irritates you tomorrow Take a breath Drop back behind your thinking A good way to look at it is drop behind your eyes to that space that's just inside you Then open your eyes and look at them again And see who's creating your experience Have a beautiful day. Bye-bye