Episode_24_Mixed_Cleaner

The episode of Faith and Focus discusses grieving relationships that never lived up to expectations. It explores the pain of unfulfilled connections with family, friends, or partners, leading to feelings of confusion, guilt, and anxiety. The speaker emphasizes the importance of acknowledging and honoring this kind of grief, understanding that it is valid even without closure. The message encourages naming the grief, surrendering it to God, and finding healing through honesty and acceptance. It concludes with a prayer for comfort and restoration, reminding listeners that God is present even in their quiet moments of worship. Welcome to Faith and Focus, a moment for your mind. This is Episode 24, Grieving the Relationship that was never what you hoped for. I am Katie, your sister in Christ, a board certified brain and mental health coach and a woman who has learned to walk with grace and still find God in the middle of it all. Together, we are healing through faith, focus, and the truth of God's word. Not all grief comes after a funeral. Some of it comes while people are still living, still calling, still walking in and out of your life, but never showing up when you need it. And that kind of grief is hard to talk about, because it doesn't always come with casseroles and canola skins. It comes with confusion. It comes with guilt. It comes with anxiety. You don't get sympathy cards from even the father who's never really a dad, or the mother who criticizes more than she considers, or the friend who loves you in public but betrays you in private, or the spouse who promises one thing but fails to settle behind closed doors. That kind of grief can make you question yourself. Was I too sensitive? Was I expecting too much? Should I just be grateful there's nothing? But the truth is this, sister. You're not grieving a person. You're grieving the version of the relationship you hoped it could be and it never became. And that's real. I remember when I begged God to change a relationship in my life. I fasted. I prayed. I journaled. I gave them the benefit of the doubt over and over and over again. And when the shift never came, when the patterns repeated, when I felt myself disappear and trying to hold on, I realized I wasn't being grateful. I was being lonely. And God wasn't asking me to shrink to keep someone close. He was asking me to release what I was never meant to carry alone. I had to grieve, not just who they were, but the version of them I kept hoping they would become. In 1 Samuel 16 and 1, God says to the prophet, How long will you mourn for Saul, since I have rejected him as king over Israel? Now think about that. Samuel is mourning the man he anointed, the leader he believes in, the one he prayed for. But God told him it was time to move forward. There comes a moment when the mourning shifts. Not because you stopped caring, but because you saw and trusted that God can do more with your surrender than you ever could do with your striving. You can love someone and still accept that the relationship won't be what you hoped for. That's not bitterness. That's wisdom. In psychology, this is called ambiguous love, grief without clear resolution. It's when the person is physically alive, but emotionally, mentally, or spiritually distant. You guys know I always call those three the least. You might be dealing with addiction, abuse, narcissism, estrangement. You might be wrestling with the guilt of setting boundaries, or grieving the lack of response when you need it most then. This kind of grief lingers in the body. It creates a loop of unfinished emotions, hope, disappointment, anger, guilt, repeat. That's why it feels so exhausting. You're grieving what never was over and over and over again. But naming that loss is the first step toward forgiveness. This kind of grief is ongoing. It doesn't follow a clear timeline. There's no closure. And that makes it harder for the brain to process. But here's the truth, sister. Just because your grief is invisible, doesn't mean it's invalid. You're allowed to grieve the mother who holds you well. You're allowed to grieve the father who's present in the womb, but absent in spirit. You are allowed to grieve the marriage that was full of prayer, but empty of peace. That was real love. So what do we do with this kind of grief? We name it. We honor it. We give it to God again and again. And we stop pretending we're okay with what happens. Sometimes we're not okay. And healing starts with telling the truth. In Luke 15, we often focus on the point of forgiveness. But sometimes, we forget that father has the message of forgiveness. The father who sent Jesus down to the Holy Spirit to try and force you to accept him, to believe him, to believe in him, and who waited with love on his shoulders. That's hard for many of us who are nurturers, givers, believers in the gospel. But sometimes there's people who love the gospel like you do. You may be grieving, but that's okay. We're not the same people. We're boys and girls. We're not the same people. You are the people. We're working for you, boys. You're so often stuck in indifference. You can open your eyes to silence. You start thinking. You start making love. Let your body be comfortable. Let your breath be comfortable. Let your ears be comfortable. And know this. God is not just in your shouts. He's in your stillness and your slow praise, stillness, and remembrance. That's for you. Dear God, you are so worthy, even when it's hard to say it out loud. Thank you for receiving our fine worship, the whispered hallowed message that is for you. Receive the voice that is very sweet in your name right now. Wrap them, Father God, in your love. Let them feel your union. Restore the sound of praise in this time. But for now, weak them in the stillness. We love you so much, Father, even when it hurts, even when we don't understand. We trust you, Father God, to be present, even in our lowest worship. In the mighty name of Jesus, we pray. Amen. This has been Faith and Focus, A Moment for Your Mind. This is T.G. from Focus Faith and Mental Health, your favorite author, coach, and your sister from another mister in the journey toward wholeness. Until next time, sis, breathe deep, stay prayed up, and remember, you're not too far gone, you're not alone, and stay focused. A Moment for Your Mind