FINAL TRANSCRIPTION ASSIGNMENT

The speaker discusses a traumatic dental experience where a male dentist made derogatory comments and mistreated her during an extraction procedure. She felt demeaned and ignored, resulting in anxiety and fear of going to the dentist. The speaker also mentions other instances of mistreatment by medical professionals. She shares her frustration at the lack of accountability and the difficulty of discussing her experiences with others who may invalidate her feelings or suggest legal action. Despite feeling more comfortable with a female dentist, she still experiences anxiety. The accumulation of mistreatment adds to her sense of outrage and injustice. So I'm starting the recording now, and I mean, I'll start the 12 minutes whenever you're ready to go. Okay. So do you want to... Yeah, so what's been on your mind? What have you been thinking about when you were thinking about coming to this session, doing this mock session with me? What were you thinking about? Okay, so I wanted to talk about something that's recently kind of been impacting my life a little bit. I just went to the dentist, like, yesterday, and I found out I need a root canal. In going to the dentist, the reason why I'm bringing this up is because I had a really bad previous experience at a different dentist, and when I had that experience, it made me petrified to go back to the dentist. And, like, I'm not the kind of person that, like, gets scared easily of things. Like, I have piercings. Like, I want to get tattoos. I'm not scared of pain. But suddenly, from this one experience I have, it made me feel completely uncomfortable with going to see another dentist. So, like, a couple months ago, I had a really bad tooth, and it needed to get removed, and it was infected. And I went to the dentist, and they did an emergency extraction. But during the extraction, the dentist was telling me, after he numbed my mouth, he said, like, oh, women talk too much, and, like, he was making very derogatory, like, very rude comments towards me. And, like, I was, and then I was, like, really starting to freak out because I have really bad anxiety. Could you... I just felt like they didn't respect me at all. Sorry to cut you off. Could you clarify what it was that he said exactly about the fact that you were a woman in this context? Yeah. So I was trying to talk when my mouth was numbed, and he goes, women, they talk too much. Wow. And I had a defense. Right. Right. Yeah. And I didn't even know what to think in that moment when he said that. Like, you don't expect to go to a doctor and get treated, like, like that. You must have been in shock at first. I was, for sure. Like, it just escalated from bad to worse, the whole situation. Like, after the, after that part, I was trying to, like, I was trying to tell them to stop because I was in a lot of pain. And I had three nurses holding me down as I was, like, taking them away. And I was, like, crying profusely. And then afterwards, I was in the waiting room bawling my eyes out. And the doctor looked at me, and he goes, you should have told me you had anxiety. I never would have done this on you if that was the case. And it was just feeling like he was demeaning me again, you know. And I was in such a vulnerable state. Like, my body was, like, I was crying, you know. It was just such an awful experience that now I am afraid to go to the dentist. And I have no shame in saying that. Like, I'm fully scared because it was such an awful experience. And I can, just hearing you talk about what happened, I have a visceral reaction of, like, shock for you. And also outrage. And when I was trying to put myself in your shoes, I feel like, as a woman also, I probably would have felt very horrified in that situation. And then also demeaned by what he said to you afterwards in the waiting room. So that's really heavy, but I'm so sorry. One second. I'm just going to mute for one second. Um. I'm so sorry. So sorry about that. My little brother. Sorry, I told him not to. But, okay, well, I was talking about how it felt to hear what your experience had been. And I was also wondering, just to get, you know, a context to this, I was wondering when this happened to you. Well, it happened, I think, like, almost a year ago. I said a couple months, but I think it was a year and a bit ago. And, yeah, I think now it's coming back up. Because now, when I went for the dentist, and now I have to get a root canal. And it basically shows you how much time I've spent avoiding, you know, going to a dentist after going through an experience like that. And now, like, I think I'm just worried that when I go to the dentist next, which I know I have to go get a root canal now, I'm really scared of how I'm going to react. Because even though the new dentist I'm going to is a woman, which is great after a man has told me a woman talks too much, you know. I still felt that fear when I went for just an exam. Like, she put water on my tooth, and I started freaking out. I was like, oh! And she was like, Tanisha, the nerve is dead. And I'm like, so, I'm, like, the sound scares me. It's, like, making me anxious. And, you know, I feel wronged as well. Like, I feel really wronged. Like, I feel like other people sue for things like these. You know, like holding somebody down. You know, it just felt very wrong, and it felt like nobody cared. Yeah. Yeah, that must be very kind of enraging are the words that came to mind. Like, how could this have happened? And, you know, perhaps, yeah, how could this have happened? And the state of, you know, your vulnerability also is really feeling heavy for me right now. Yeah, I'm also reminded of, you know, some of the things that, you know, happen to women and the way that they're talked to. So, I'm wondering what you might say to this man, hypothetically, if, you know, if there was an empty chair beside us and you were asked to talk to him and say what you would like to say to him. What would you say? I think now I feel like he got away with something. So, I feel like if I were to speak to him right now, I would want reassurance that he knew what he did was wrong. You know, like, I think he looked at me as some black kid who, you know, who's not going to do anything, and I think it's just another example of how, like, black women are mistreated in the health care system. You know, and it's like I feel like he, as an old white man, feels like, you know, I got away with, you know, yelling, telling this girl she talks too much, you know, and me saying, like, these comments, and I feel like he's happy about getting away with that. And there's nothing I can do. I just feel powerless, you know? Yes. Yeah, that feeling definitely came across for me as well. Imagining the situation. And do you – is there anyone else that you've talked to about this incident? Have you shared this with anyone else? Yeah, but, you know, I think also I feel a little bit embarrassed to talk about it because when I talk about it to other people, like, either – like, some people will be like, ah, it wasn't that big a deal, and it just invalidates how I feel. And I think others are like, why didn't you do – why didn't you, like, sue him or something? And it's like I also don't have energy to pursue that because I don't want to have to be a justice warrior who's suing someone for this. Like, I just want to go on with my life, you know? It left me anxious, you know, so. You're a student, and you're already going through probably a lot, or, you know, just as a person and as a student, you might be a full-time student, right? And so on top of that, and also, you know, having student finances, the thought of pursuing a legal battle at this point would probably just seem to add much more to your burden, right? Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. That's exactly it. I don't want to do it. I don't feel the need to at this point. Now I need to go to the dentist and get a root canal, so. Right, right. Yeah. And you feel more comfortable now that it's a woman? I think definitely. Like, even in my exam when she was touching me, like, I felt the touch was different. It was more like, okay, we're almost done, you know? But with this guy, it felt like he – like, when I would moan or complain or say something, he just completely ignored me. And it was such an awful feeling that, like, I never want to go through that again. So, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it's – I'm glad to hear that you feel differently with this woman. And, yeah, that really – that really – it sounds like it really shook you. And I'm wondering if you have had any other experiences in the medical industry or with, you know, any kind of procedures that maybe reminds you of this or any other experiences of a similar nature? One too many, unfortunately. Like, I've had an instance with my sister having a gallbladder attack and the ambulance driver was speaking badly to her and told me that it didn't matter about my opinion. I've had also a lady tell me, like, I hurt my leg once and she had to, like, put – like, they had to carry me out of my basement and I couldn't put pants on because my leg was, like, bent. And she goes, oh, so you want to go to the hospital in your underwear? And it was just another example of a paramedic looking at me as some bloody black girl, you know? And it feels like time and time again I'm mistreated and time and time again someone is not held accountable for it, you know? It feels like, you know, how come it can happen so many times and why me, you know? And that adds to a sense of outrage and injustice that's, like, been accumulated over all these experiences, I would imagine. I mean, I haven't had experiences like that. And so I'm thankful I'm privileged in that way, but I can imagine that over time. And so knowing also the history helps me understand how scary this must have been for you. And I was thinking about how you said that sometimes when you've told people about this they might have downplayed the impact that it had on you.