nice guys

The speaker starts by talking about their recent holiday and how much they enjoyed it. They mention going to Parma with their friend Lucy and drinking Baroccas. They also mention planning exciting episodes for their podcast and being inspired by another podcast on the power of recommitting. They talk about the topic for this week's episode, which is about the idea that nice guys shouldn't finish last in relationships. They discuss receiving responses from people who have gone from toxic relationships to positive ones and share their own experiences. They mention a friend who recently came out of a toxic relationship and is now in a healthier one, highlighting the differences and the challenges that come with it. They discuss the impact of past relationships on one's mindset and the battle to trust again. The speaker then briefly mentions their upcoming holiday to Berlin and concludes by introducing the main topic of discussion for the episode. Good morning USA. Hi guys. Welcome back to Nailed It. I always do the old knee slap like I've not got damaged knees. How the devil are we? I have missed this. What's new? Talk to me. Listen to me. Where have I been? I've been on my jollies haven't I? You're going to get sick of hearing that recently. I do apologise. I'm always either ill or on holiday. What's going on? I'm like fucking Alan Wicker. But no I have been on my jollies. I've been to Parma with my gorgeous darling bestie Lucy. By the way I'm drinking Baroccas. Do you remember the advert for Barocca of people running on the treadmill sideways? They're like Barocca you been on a really good day. I think they're brilliant. I don't think they get the hype they deserve. These are not just for hangovers. These are long term pros. Anyway me but on a really good day. Welcome back to Nailed It guys. Nailed It podcast. I have so many exciting episodes lined up for you. I'm really really looking forward to it. I actually recently listened to another podcast by Leo Skeppy on the power of recommitting and why it's important and I really took a lot of advice from it so that is exactly what I am doing myself. I've planned loads of great content. I'm spending this weekend re-recording, re-recording? Pre-recording and getting in front. I also find that the shorter episodes, I know I can talk bollocks for England but I find the shorter episodes are just number one easier but also they just have a little something something about them. So I'm going to aim for a bit more of that you know. The snappiness. The vibes. Although I could drag a lot out. Anyway this week's topic is all about the nice guy shouldn't finish last. We don't want them to finish last. It's the mindset that people are you know scared of the nice boy or girl but everyone that's wrote in has wrote in about heterosexual relationships of the man and the woman and they're all girlies who've wrote in about you know going from being in a toxic relationship with a man to now being in a positive one and how much it's challenged them and triggered them at times. I am one of said girlies and one of my really really close friends at the minute has just come out of a toxic relationship. A couple of them have actually to be fair. Go you girlies. Salute to the girl dem. That being said when you're experiencing positive romantic situations it's freaking them out. They naturally completely get it. I've been there myself. And I just wanted to talk about it a little bit. I've got some really great responses written in and I just wanted to pick them apart and advice you up. So that is exactly what we're going to do today. We're going to touch on my own experiences and other people's and we're going to get to the nitty gritty of why the good guys should finish first. And we want them to. Not everyone is pure shit. Most of the time. We want the good ones. So no messing about guys. My holiday was great. Start to finish. Everyone was like what was your stand out moment? I was like all of it. From the minute my feet touched the airport to literally getting back in my own bed on Sunday night Monday morning. It was Monday morning. We were delayed. We literally got home at 4am. That was the only low point. Getting in late and going to work on 5 hours sleep. But everything about it was pure bliss. The weather. It was 31 degrees. You know what as well. I've never thought of going to Parma but it was absolutely beautiful. Will return. You know. Woodshag again. The country. It was just phenomenal. Super hot. Good stuff to do. Good food. Places to go. Good night life. Obviously if you want to you can get a bus to Magga. We did not indulge. I've been to Magga. Been there done that. Got the tea. That should be it's own episode. That was such a weird time of life. The best thing for me personally apart from being with Lucy and having the time of my life was the fact that my hay fever wasn't apparent there. I've literally just had to sling another antihistamine down my throat so if I pass out during this rip me. Someone listening will know my address. You know where to send the fucking 911 emergency. But yeah. It was just gorgeous. Everything about it. Underneath this I have tanned but obviously it is. We're in treacherous climate in the UK right now given that it is July. But anyway. I digress. So yeah. That is me. Gorgeous holiday. Back at it again. I go on holiday again next week which makes me sound very very up one ass. But I don't give a bird. These are my holidays bitch. I'm going to use them or I won't. I'm going to Berlin with some more girlies and the baby. Me Katie and Eve are taking baby Rory and it's going to be a big fat slay. Don't know who on God's green earth thought they could trust me with a baby abroad but I'm going to slay it. Me and my auntie Ro. I'm going to put him in the little harness. Walk him around. Glossy Berlin wall. Can't wait. It's going to be box office. So without further ado let's jump in to the topic of nice guys should not finish last. Okay. So the question I asked on my story was I want to know your own stories of how you've gone from being with a nice guy or girl after being with a complete loon. And you know I want to hear it. Let me heal you. She says ambiguously. So that's where we were heading with it. So I thought I'd start with the person. This will all be remaining anonymous by the way. Don't worry. But I thought I'd start with the person who inspired me just from the conversations we've had. She's one of my nearest and dearest. I love the girl to death and I genuinely feel like I'm looking in a mirror every time I talk to her. But she's a couple of years younger than me. So it just reminds me of myself when I was at that time of life and especially in this situation. She has come out of a two three year long relationship that upon reflection she's realized was quite a toxic relationship in terms of the communication styles how they would talk to each other you know breaking up all the petty shit and getting back together. But you know ultimately like you first love. And I feel like for a lot of people I think it's quite rare for your first love to stay your forever love. Now I'm not saying it's not possible. I've seen it firsthand myself and it is the most gorgeous love story. But I don't think it's always necessarily achievable especially as a society where we do more at a younger age now I would say. We tend to mature a lot quicker. Like if I think back to my first serious relationship I got in that when I was 14. Now I look at 14 year olds around me you know my partner's sister is 14. The thought of her even looking at a boy I'm like oh stop it you're too young you're too fragile. Do you know what I mean? But obviously different times we were a completely different generation to those around us now at that age but anyway. And you think back to it and I think most people in the first relationship especially around high school times when you're hormonal and things like that you kind of do just go a little bit cuckoo. And I think the person that you're with and I think it's on both sides but I've experienced it firsthand from a female perspective. The men can make you crazy. Boys, the boys because they are little boys can make you crazy. They can make you bat shit right and it completely warps you as a person. You do and say things as a 15, 16, 17 and 18 year old that you look back on when you're old and you think oh brother oh like literally disgusting behavior. And you know again I know a lot of these situations my own personally ended in being cheated on. That then even though I was only 16 when that happened that can still stay with you all the way through. That was nearly 10 years ago. I'll be 26 this year. Nevertheless 26 this year. No that was 10 years ago. That event happening to me will never ever leave me and it will never have not damaged and broken my trust. Do you know what I mean? And you can be with the most amazing person on the planet which I would like to say that I am. Love you. But it can still be ingrained in your mind and it's such a sad exhausting battle that your mind can constantly take you to the worst case scenario when you're presented with any form of situation that reminds you of the past. Do you know what I'm saying? So yeah I think your first relationship or I mean even for me my second one was the most traumatic but the less we say on that the better. It can really mold you as a person and as an individual and it can really change the trajectory often for the better in terms of what you expect and what you look for but then equally I feel like your mind will never not look out for the you know it's constantly then trying to protect you. It's kind of like fight or flight mode so if you see something that you define as a red flag or something that triggers you from the past instantly it's like walls up gone boom shut down. That's a really hard battle to go through. So anyway in regards to my friend she's met a lovely guy who's a little bit older and he's just a really really nice guy he's got there's a bit of distance between him and he's consistently you know met on a holiday summer romance and it's not stayed a summer romance it has progressed and I think the fact that he's making effort with her where a lad who lived less than 10 minutes around the corner from her couldn't be asked to make the effort with her has really set the cat amongst the pigeons and she just gave me a list of the green flags and said it's like such a drastic difference from her ex that it's blowing her mind and it's quite overwhelming and it can make you almost like emotional so to speak. She said even like you know the fact that he's willing to come so far like pay for things she has no issue paying for things like you know she would rather be in a 50-50 situation but it's a fact that and I think early on when someone kind of sets that tone like no no I'm gonna treat you until this becomes a bigger deal do you know what I mean I just think that's really really nice sometimes like even now that I've been in a relationship for nearly six years it's still nice for one of you to foot the bill for the other like I genuinely believe in that I just think it's quite sweet you know like on a date night or something you know as a treat like don't get me wrong I'm 50-50 on things I don't even bat an eye I'll pay for one thing he'll pay for another but it's just nice especially when you think back to early on it's just lovely um the time spending together is really nice quality time doing things they both enjoy doing they have a lot in common so now don't get me wrong if my fellow turned around to me and said you want to go for a 5k on a second day I'd be like listen lad sling your up I'd rather go to a pizza shop um but that's something they really have in common and again finding something that you have things in common with who can share their mutual interest with and not frown upon it or put you down or not be invested again so nice and when you've not had it before it just makes such a big difference um just the way he speaks to her in terms of the responses he has to the things she says having a laugh with her you know being caring in the sense of you know whatever happens there happens I just want to see you happy and it's like again some of that will be maturity on his part but also highlighting someone else's lack of maturity almost you know my partner and I neither of us are the most mature people in the world but when you have good communication skills and a bit of tact about you and experience it tends to really really progress you you know in the long run and all these things combined together plus the fact that by all accounts he's a barney lad it's it can be really overwhelming to think fucking hell have I gone from that to feeling like I've hit the jackpot don't get me wrong there'll be something wrong with him there's something wrong with everyone nobody is perfect but to go from one extreme to the other it really really does sometimes feel like you're being hit with a bus um and it is really really hard to comprehend my advice was stick it out and have some fun you don't have to marry him it may only go so far but what if it works out we're all very good at saying yeah but what if it goes wrong what if this what is that I always think this when I'm thinking of doing something a little bit exciting like jumping in the sea which doesn't sound exciting to most people but I'm terrified of open water and I'm in my head I'm like what if I drown what if I get eaten what if this what if that I'll get swung by a jellyfish what if I get paralyzed caught in a riptide but what if I don't what if I'm great what if I ride the waves rip curl style now low-key will never happen that is a bit of a stupid comparison but nevertheless we all use the what if it goes wrong rather than yeah but what if it doesn't what if it's actually really good what if it's a good time now I think you've got a lot less to lose going meeting up with a really nice lad who's paying for stuff respectfully than what you have jumping in open water in the middle of some waves crashing about nevertheless they all have the pros and cons and dangers about them um but yeah I think as well because of the type of the nature of the world we live in the way romance is forced on our throats on social media the perfect love life is and don't get me wrong I'm obsessed with it I don't post my relationship like that that's not me um he he's on there he exists I love him to death anyone who knows me knows he's my fucking life right heart and soul the world doesn't need to see it they've seen parts of it that's all I want them to see that's not me hiding him that's not me pretending I'm single I will not give you any ideas on a night out do you know what I'm saying he's everywhere but respectfully I don't want these bitches to see him I've been winning for six years I still don't tag him to the point where I put ha no on his face cracks me up bitches be naughty mind your nose bed day anywho um where was I going with this pass the moment's gone I can't remember anywho I just think you've got to enjoy these situations for what they are there we go I've remembered rewind um forcing be seeing romance forced on your throat I do believe in the power of privacy right that doesn't mean being in a relationship and going out acting single but I do believe in the power of privacy and how and protecting your peace you know everyone's done it when they were a kid like posting the life on social media I used to be that bitch when I was like 14 and silly girl look back on old posts when they come up in memories I'm like delete delete delete remove yourself um but yeah and you know when I see Molly Mae and Tommy Fury when I see Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds all right extreme comparisons I love it I live for it Taylor Swift and Travis give me every angle of their love life double tap that's never gonna be me do you know what I mean number one I'm not a multi-millionaire with my own PR team still you know what I mean I love it but and I will never not love it but I think for the average joe blogs especially when you see people like your UK influencers who are in these relationships and it's amazing to look at it does still set quite an unrealistic expectation like are you going to get engaged after a year probably not are you going to have all these babies by the time you're 25 potentially not not if you don't want to things like that um and I think because everyone you know sometimes it's even your circle like if your friends are all in relationships you can then feel like that is the answer for you but it actually might not be and that is completely okay that's absolutely fine you don't have to jump into it two feet first just because it feels like you should and just because other people around you are like if my partner wasn't the right person for me it'd be gone and I'd be on my own do you know what I mean like you have to be in the right situation for it to materialize and I do also believe in the power of things happening for a reason I've said this before apart from the one reason that we all know about I do believe in other things you're meant to meet certain people I was meant to meet my partner nothing logistically should have brought us together other than me being a bit frisky on Instagram and seeing him and going oh she gets some of that follow like I was very confident about them don't me I mean got me my man now we got a house I'm about to get a dog no but you know it's um something's just meant to happen and I think I said like you know if he was just meant to stay on holiday that's where he would have stayed but he didn't and it's not and this situation keeps reprising itself now it might only be in your life for a short period of time to get you back on the saddle to boost you because someone else tore you down but when you're in that relationship being torn down you can't see it you can't feel it because it happens gradually all the time slowly chipping away at you to the point where you don't recognize yourself to the point where you're yearning for them and you think hang the fuck on a minute you're you're reevaluating six to twelve months which she will do and I can't wait for it the girls night will go off slow but you'll look at that situation look at that version of yourself and think hang on a minute what were I doing there if you heard it come out your mates now if you'd be like no don't put up with that shit do you see what I mean so yeah a hundred a hundred percent all for that all for that let's read some other responses shall we here we go um fly a few stories I like said about going from a complete loony bin to the nice person um and I got a lovely one here um oh here we go uh needing lots of reassurance fully get that if you've been hurt before you do need reassurance in whatever field that looks like whether it's in terms of infidelity someone you know being faithful to you money I've been in that situation before like certain things can really trigger you for example I don't have a good relationship with betting and gambling not me personally this is not gamblers anonymous however if you want to slide in the dm because you are for you uh but someone fleeced me someone I was going to be in a relationship with from now even though I know my fellas not friggin down the bookies every fucking week putting his life savings on the authors it still gets my back up now that is something for me to deal with because I trust that person but nevertheless like I say if you've been scorned by something quite badly that trauma doesn't leave you it's more a case of having the reassurance and retraining your brain and your responses to trust that new person that they're not going to do that and setting those boundaries in this relationship one thing I will pride myself on is because of how badly I got hurt in the past I have set all of my boundaries over time didn't do it overnight I'm not perfect never gonna be but I have set boundaries and as I go on our communications out between us by the way he does the same um and like I said it's not always rosy sometimes yeah sure we crack on we love each other we we've become much more honest with one another about our feelings about how things make us feel and having that open dialogue and communication literally just changes things so highly recommend but yes needing lots of reassurance um struggle with lots of anxiety at first that he was going to leave at any point get that 100% get that um I found when I was dating before I met my partner I found it really easy to cut things off because prior to that I would get myself far too invested early on so I became a bit of a cold bitch and low-key was the best thing that happened to me because I felt like I was in the driver's seat um but I can fully understand that when you really like someone you fall for them and your walls come down a bit especially if it's a good thing of course you're naturally going to feel like they're going to leave at any point but again that goes back to needing reassurance and also as well I'm very much of the mindset even though it's quite contradictory there is only so much reassurance one person can give and this is not just relationships this is friendships also before it becomes a point of like you're questioning the type of person I am now I think after a period of time of knowing someone like I said in a friendship or relationship like romantic capacity like you get to suss them out as a person and you know there comes a time where like reassurance can be I won't say frustrating but a little bit tedious almost now I'll give people reassurance till the cows come home however it does sometimes I've found personally when people potentially more in a friendship capacity um but I can find it quite aggravating because I think I've been your friend for x amount of years you know me this well like why are you still questioning me like do you know what I mean when you believe yourself to be quite a transparent person now but again it's difficult because if you're friends with someone who's been scorned by their friends it's only the same as being scorned in a relationship it's just not a romantic type of relationship so it's fully sympathized but I can also see it on the other side whilst I've never needed to give in fact I have needed to give reassurance in my previous relationships and at first it's like yeah don't worry blah blah blah and then after a bit it does become a little bit exhausting because you're like well I keep telling you I've never done anything wrong like what's the point of me keep telling you so I can definitely see it on both sides having been on both sides of the fence it is a tricky one um oh how do you allow yourself to be treated so good after being treated like shit honey let it in walls up secretly arms open externally right let the good things come to you you need to believe that you deserve good things because you do right we're not put on this earth to have bad shit thrown at us all the time unless you're a bad person and then it's bad karma it's bad juju do believe in it talk about it in many an episodes get back rewind and back um allow it just allow it you don't have to let your walls down and give someone your fucking bank details and your inside life measurement to be treated well it's the bare minimum we don't applaud fish for swimming don't applaud men or women for treating you how you should be treated basic human nature right to not be a cunt don't take anything less if you're taking anything less dm me I'll coach it the fuck out of you um let it happen the the thing is like I said everyone's obsessed with finding love and finding true love in some way shape or form that's not necessarily with a partner it might be with a career do you know what I mean everyone has got it to some degree somewhere in them you do need to have some like a little bit of like free will that it is just going to happen and I think the less pressure you put on it and the less that happens like the less you folks and honing on it the good things will just naturally come to you and attract you if you're berating yourself and putting yourself down or being a toxic person you're only going to attract toxic energy that's why negative people congregate together and the happy people are over there do you know what I mean look at the kardashians exhibit a negativity breeds from them wild example you get the gist just it's very easy to say just sit back and let it happen right but you can be treated well without diving in balls deep do you know what I mean I went on plenty of dates where I was treated very well and I wasn't disrespected didn't marry any of them I'm gonna marry this one instead who took me on a lovely date and treated me very well do you know what I'm saying like get out of the mindset that it all has to be serious from the get-go that doesn't mean you're unfaithful that doesn't mean you're not a good person but if you go two foot in straight away the other things will give so you need to have your walls up and have some boundaries but allow the good things to come to you because you're deserving of them oh it feels like the dream feel like you need to be with someone shit to appreciate when it's great definitely don't get me wrong I don't wish it upon anyone however I also don't know anyone that hasn't experienced a bad relationship followed by a better one do you know what I'm saying everyone's got to feel a little bit of the rough patch even with the partner that you're with do you know what I mean like relationships are not smooth sailing all the time I know it's the same basic old stuff but it's true you've just got to take it for what it is but yeah I do believe that if you don't it's like anything in life if you don't feel the laws you don't feel the highs and the same goes in relationships so I completely agree sister um what else have we got oh complete and utter bliss cannot believe I put up with so much bullshit in the past when this absolute angel of a boy is now my boyfriend everything happens for a reason oh it's making me smile because I know who this person is and to see someone we've been friends for a few years and to see to see the glow that was radiated from this woman is unbelievable I mean one of the most beautiful girls ever just to look at but to see her go from just being like who I thought she was to the person she is now it's not even like a lover girl phase it's her life it's just amazing amazing to see she's still 100 independent lady but she's just got this gorgeous boy who's treating her as she should be treated and like you say you get with someone who gives you the basics like my other friends myself included and you look back and was like ah why was I doing that why was I in that situation it is mad how much you realize and the thing is as well spoke about this quite a lot with some of my other friends you can still be unpicking trauma in your current relationships I've done it myself realizing things realizing I am the way I am because that happened five years into this relationship right it's mental what your mind can allow you to process and I say this with chest ultimate chest when you get to the age 25 and the whole frontal lobe cortex is in full development your mind will expand a lot in regards to your relationships your concepts your emotions your understandings right I'm not saying your life will change I'm not saying the fucking moon will spin on the wrong axis right but things will start to happen up here you will make shifts in your life know it from first-hand experience and from multiple multiple people around me where it has also happened the same thing right I don't think it's a myth and you will I feel like you kind of almost relive things I actually also think that's why the older we get we're actually getting more self-aware and anxious about certain things all of my friends who have anxiety never had it when I first met them they only know that they're older and they understand what triggers them and this that and the other no don't get me wrong anxiety is just a word that we're absolutely batter in this generation that doesn't take away that it is a true thing I'm not saying it isn't I have anxiety about certain things but we call a lot of things anxiety you know fears um pressure things that haven't happened yet you know what I mean they're just different words for anxiety or vice versa that being said I feel like the more you understand yourself as a person and the more you learn why certain things make you behave a certain way it uncovers your anxieties I think everyone has them somewhere within them even if they haven't found them yet and I think part of that is getting older and just becoming a bit more understanding of yourself and you as a person becoming more self-aware so I definitely think you will end up reliving things things from your past and you'll probably see yourself in a different light and you know give yourself a little bit of grace almost for all the years have already gone by do you know what I mean that's why a lot of people come out of relationships when they get into the mid-20s long-term relationships the relationships you've seen since school because they've massively changed their eyes have opened you know what I'm saying oh this is a different one anonymous please always goes um I've gone from a nice guy to a loon and I was bored for eight years oh see this is a bit different there's a difference between the night this barocca is not barocca in pause I don't know what it is I think I think I prefer the Aldi's own version does anyone else have that where they prefer the like the copy to the real deal this has a weird aftertaste I don't know if it's because I got it from the airport it's got a different colored cap maybe it's not the right one it's the right fucking brand though it charged me £6.50 six english pounds and 50 pence with king charlie's mush on anyway digress I don't know if it does have his face on actually in fact I got a 20 pound knot last week with his face on freaked me right out it did seeing him all in purple oh like looking at his arms anyway digressing um there's a difference between getting with a nice genuine person versus settling for the nice person because it's what you know and what you used to I don't believe for one single second and I don't this is just because I I'm an intuitive person and I'm very I know in my heart of hearts you know if you're not with the right person you know it I'm not having that you don't everyone lies to themselves all the time everybody I've seen it firsthand I've seen people quite a long-term relationship I've done it myself and you knew the whole time that that wasn't the end game and that it wasn't the real deal because you weren't fully invested you know it you're just lying to yourself and lying to those around you but they know it as well do you know what I'm saying right you're settling for the nice guy by the way when this girl put up with this guy everyone around was like boat time do you know what I mean because she was settling it wasn't what she wanted right she knew that you can tell in people's behavior when they're out and about whether they're invested in their own relationship or not you just know it right okay so those who invest in the relationship are not out pretending the single you know what I mean that's not what this girl's done by the way this is just me making a generic comment they're not right you just know in your heart of hearts there's a big difference between having a nice guy who's treating you right and settling right you've got to be fully invested in someone I've met nice guys before and known that it wasn't right and on paper nothing wrong nice person good looking good job good morals you know don't smoke don't do drugs whatever but it just weren't there do you know what I mean why would you jump into that situation just because on paper it looks right it sounds right when you're saying oh they're this or a manager of this you drive this guy I don't remember why would you jump into it when you know in your heart of hearts it's nothing there you have still got to have that level of excitement and that doesn't mean it's going to be rolling on your doorstep every day and fucking ultimate shagathons until the fucking carers come home and can't stay right that's not real love that's excitement there's a difference right you want a long burning you don't want a spark you want a long burning flame that's just eternal and I know that sounds so cringy and cliche but it is true settling for the nice person or the person who you've always known you will still know in your heart of hearts if that's not true so there is a difference now if you were to loon now I need to know more about what loon means define loon are you happy is he crazy is he safe you know there's different things is it is he a loon as a person is it a good personality does he match your vibe is it temporary all those different types of things that you've got to ask yourself and the final one from one of my frequent report frequent I can't even speak frequent replay it um she said it took her about a year and a half to fully trust her person and be 100% herself I genuinely thought it was a prank it's hard to keep your negative responses at bay 100% I sometimes feel like that when you know when things have been going good for so long and you're like when are the prank patrol gonna come out and be like gotcha bitch but again like if you're a good person you put good things out there I can't explain to you how much that in life you will just constantly have good things happening to you if you're evil if you're nasty if you're doing malicious things and don't expect the good rewards and that's not me saying you're going to trap up to the pearly gates or the depths of hell when your time comes we're living for the here and now we're living for the rewards that are happening right now do you know what I'm saying um but yeah fully fully agree with that and I think so when you have been through a lot of shit in your relationships like the good one does come and it's such a shame almost for the good person boy or girl because it's so hard to let yourself trust them and let yourself fully be in it uh she also said I instantly regret it as well because there's no need for it at all sometimes I'm guessing that means about being hot-headed oh yeah it hurts me as much as it hurts him but I'm a hot-headed little bitch hot-headed hot-headed little bitch I'm a hot-headed little bitch sometimes I say things like that that comes to my mind and I'm like in truth of thought she should have stayed and then I apologize straight away but like hang on I was a bitch then he goes like yeah you were and I'm like cheers to us honey um but no yeah it's it is a tricky one ultimately it is your mind deceiving you and your mind also trying to protect you your body is so so clever I can't begin to tell you you know it tries and protects you from the things that you fear and the things that you've drilled yourself drilled into yourself and it recognizes things from your past and puts the walls up for you sounds crazy but it's true um but yeah I really would like to end on give the nice guy a chance allow yourself to be treated well because you deserve it you deserve nothing less um enjoy the good times you don't have to marry the person that's treating you well but you are allowed to enjoy it not everything has to be forever and ever amen we've got a long fucking life on this earth okay that doesn't mean you need to cut everything dead if it's not your husband or your wife okay no get your toe in the water doesn't make you a hoe makes you cultured all right so go and have some fun go and be treated well let someone take you on a date don't mean you have to shag them let someone buy you a take do you know what I mean have fun you deserve to have fun be treated well but you also deserve to give someone who's being really nice and kind to you a chance if they are your vibe that's where I will leave it thank you so much for listening I really appreciate it uh can't wait to see you all next week uh I'm really sold to it I will see you then bye guys