Behavior and communication

The speaker shares insights from CrossFit training, emphasizing the importance of viewing behavior as communication, especially in relation to trauma. Different patterns like hypervigilance, withdrawal, aggression, and regression were discussed, highlighting how they signify underlying needs for safety, connection, and expression of overwhelming emotions. The training stresses the significance of understanding the root cause of a child's behavior, urging a compassionate approach by considering past traumas. Personal reflections on hypervigilance and the need for therapy were also shared. The importance of teaching children how to express their needs verbally was highlighted. The distinction between traumatized children and shy children was also discussed, emphasizing the need for empathy and understanding. So, part of CrossFit training that completely shifted my mindset was learning to see behavior as communication. Trauma shows up in patterns and once you understand them, the behavior makes so much more sense. Here are the patterns we learned about in class and what they might actually look like in real life. Hypervigilance, always being on edge, a child who jumps at loud noises, constantly scanning the room, watches adults move closely to stay safe, which communicates, I don't feel safe, I'm prepared for danger. And withdrawal, pulling back or shutting down, a child who avoids eye contact, quietly sits alone and won't talk, seems shy, but it's really self-protection and what it communicates is connection is risky and that they've been hurt before. Aggression or acting out, outward behaviors people call bad, yelling, hitting, throwing things, talking back or refusing direction, emotional outbursts that seem random, these communicate that they're overwhelmed and they don't know how to express it. This is a huge part of survival brain. And then we have regression, which is returning to earlier behaviors like bedwetting, using baby talk, wanting comforting items they've previously given up, this communicates that they need safety and reassurance that they didn't get before. The TACASA training taught us to look for the need underneath the behavior. The phrase that stuck with me the most is, don't ask what's wrong with the child, ask what happened to this child. Once you understand that, your whole approach becomes more compassionate. I think that's something I'd like to focus on is when we talk about the child not being able to verbally explain what is going on or why they're acting this way. And we need to think, they're probably doing these things because of trauma they have experienced and the people that have done this trauma onto them probably never were able to verbally express theirs and were only able to do things like abuse that gave the children trauma. So they've never had a role model to teach them how to explain their needs verbally. So that's another thing we were taught is like we need to be that person who teaches them it's okay to talk, this is how we talk, this is how we explain our needs. I agree. Also, from personal experience, I didn't realize how traumatized I was until we learned about hypervigilance. I am probably one of the most hypervigilant people I know. So, you know, learning that in class really highlighted how much therapy I probably need myself. To add on to what you have to say, I wanted to say that there's a very different, there's a variance of different from kids who are traumatized and kids who are shy. Kids who are shy will also have the same either hypervigilant or withdrawn or just like just shy in general to like interact with the kids. I don't even know where I was going with that. Okay.