gr_2026_07_11_1225

The conversation in the podcast focuses on the impact of childhood experiences on parenting, emphasizing the challenges faced by parents who were not parented well themselves. It discusses how unresolved issues from their past can affect their interactions with their own children, leading to feelings of inadequacy and struggles with emotional responses. The speakers highlight the importance of self-care, awareness, compassion, and healing in breaking the cycle of generational trauma. They also touch on the role of mindfulness in developing healthier parenting patterns. relationships, and the real-life challenges families face every day. Before we begin, we want to share a gentle reminder, although we are professionals in this field, this podcast is for educational and reflective purposes only. We are not offering therapeutic diagnosis, medical advice, or individualized mental health treatment. If anything we discuss today brings up strong emotions or personal concerns, we encourage you to reach out to a licensed mental health professional, a medical provider, or spiritual care provider, or a trusted support person. And we want to say this clearly, today's topic maybe will feel tender to you. We are talking about what happens when parents are raising children while also carrying around wounds from not being parented well themselves. This can include emotional neglect, harsh discipline, inconsistency, abandonment, parentification, trauma, or simply growing up in a home where love was present but emotional support was missing. I know lots of homes like that, Tiffany. Absolutely. So, as you listen, please take care of yourselves. Pause if you need to, breathe if you need to, and come back later to the session if you need to. This is not about blame, this is about awareness, compassion, and healing. Dani, this topic is such an important one because so many parents are trying to raise children with tools that they were never given. They may love their children deeply, but when stress rises, they find themselves reacting to old wounds instead of responding from the parent that they want to be. Yeah, absolutely. I think one of the first things that we have to say is that parents aren't failing. You guys aren't failing. You're parenting from limited models. If you weren't comforted when you cried, it may feel unnatural to comfort a crying child. It might also feel unnatural to be comforted as the partner of someone. If your feelings were being dismissed as you were a child, let's say you got hurt, you fell down, and you were shamed or you were told to not cry, you might struggle when your own child is having big emotions. If you were punished for having your needs, just genuine basic needs, your child's needs may feel overwhelming. They might even feel triggering. Absolutely. I listened to kind of our notes that we were going to talk about, and I felt like I could see myself in this so much for things that I didn't receive as a child and how I struggled when parenting my own child. So, that is really powerful because often parents say, you know, why does this bother me so much? Or, you know, why do I get so angry when my child cries or frustrated or anxious? Or, why do I shut down when my child needs, you know, comfort? And underneath that reaction, there is probably an old story and an old wound. You're totally right. Sometimes the child's needs touch on a parent's unmet needs. And I'll say that again. Sometimes when a child is asking for something, that parent might actually be triggered because that need was never met on their own. So, they were never comforted. The child cries, and somewhere inside that parent, there's a younger part of themselves that remembers. No one came for me when I cried. I experience a lot of parents that they have a lot of shame associated with feelings and showing emotion and expressing that emotion. And so, when they're trying to figure out their own child's behavior, you know, it's not even that they're going to come to me and say, what's wrong with my child? In their own head and the way that they're projecting is like, why is this not fixed? I got through it. And sometimes it's subconscious. They don't even realize that they're actually doing it until well later. But it is, it really does boil down to, no one came for me. So, you know, I survived this. They can survive it. And in our heads, we're doing so much better than what we suffered. Absolutely. That's 100% correct. And then that can bring up grief, resentment, confusion, or even guilt. I have a lot of guilt even to this day for different things that I feel like I could have done or should have done without really understanding that I didn't have those things. So, I didn't understand the science behind it. A parent may look at their child and think, you know, I want to do better, but also feel the pain of realizing that they didn't receive what they're trying to give. That realization, Tiffany, that can be so heavy. But it can also be the beginning of a healing process. Absolutely. Today, we want to talk about what happens when parents were not parented well themselves and how those experiences show up in family systems and how they affect infant and early childhood relationships and how mindfulness can support parents in building new patterns. Let's talk about what does it mean when we say not parented well. Yeah. So, when we say not parented well, we're not saying that every parent had a terrible childhood or that their caregivers did not love them. Sometimes people hear this phrase and immediately think, well, my parents did the best that they could. And it's on the defense. And many did. I mean, that can be true. Your parents truly did the best they could with the tools they have, and they still may have been hurt. Both things can be true. Tiffany, you're going to hate me, but my computer just completely froze. Can we maybe restart this one, especially because I messed up on the beginning? Sure. Okay. I'm going to freeze frame this page. That way, this doesn't happen again. Send it for – I have an idea. Can you send it for ten minutes from now? Do you have time for that? Yeah. Are you sure? Yeah. Okay. All right. Are we able to delete it and then – Yeah. Okay. That will make me feel way more secure because this computer keeps freezing, and I'm going to turn on a more stable computer. Okay. All right. All right. Thank you, ma'am. Okay. Bye.