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The speaker starts by introducing themselves and jokingly asking if the audience is ready to be entertained. They mention being new to a side-kicking role and give instructions on how to use power keys and a blaster. The speaker talks about relying on sorcery and learning tricks from Merlin. They mention being a nightmare and warn about actions having consequences. The speaker mentions being made a monster but choosing to be a hero. They introduce a show called Kablammo! where contestants can launch pies at each other. They mock someone who relies on strength and superpowers, claiming that knowledge and technology are more powerful. They introduce themselves as the Crusader, a force of justice. Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. Are you ready to be serenaded? Hit it, boys! Fly me to the moon, and let me sail among the stars. Oh yeah, I'll do my best! Hey look, I'm still fairly new to this whole side-kicking thing. Okay, here's the locations of all the power keys. Hold down the action button to charge your blaster, and release the button to shoot. You young whippersnappers and your technology! Back in my day, we had to rely on good old-fashioned sorcery. I may be 150 years old, uh, at least, but I've still got a few tricks up my sleeve. Some of which I learned from the great Merlin himself. Who am I? I'm your worst nightmare. When will you people realize that your actions have consequences? I was made to be a monster. The world made me a freak show, but I chose to be a hero. Gather round and witness the most exciting night of these contestants' lives. On this week's episode of Kablammo! Whoever is fastest to answer correctly will be given the option to launch a pie at a contestant of that usage. Ha ha ha! You really think you can stop me with your brute strength and your superpowers? The powers of knowledge and technology are on my side. Yes, sir, you can dodge a laser beam, but can you dodge the Dexter? Stop right there, evildoer! Only the wicked should fear when the Crusader appears! For I am the current of vengeance traversing and pulsating through the veins of justice!