Robert Rogers 2005

Robert Rogers, a man who experienced a tragic accident that took the lives of his wife and children, has dedicated his life to sharing his story. He emphasizes the importance of knowing God and living a faith-filled life. He encourages listeners to prioritize their relationship with God and not to settle for mediocrity. He shares personal anecdotes and offers practical advice on how to deepen one's relationship with God. Robert also shares about his relationship with his late wife and their journey together. Thank you. Thank you, Bobby. Make a memory was a favorite expression of Robert Rogers' wife, Melissa. What you are about to hear from a remarkable individual will undoubtedly make a memory for you. Along with a friend, I had the privilege of hearing Robert Rogers give a presentation to all of the students at Roger Bacon High School, a co-ed high school here in Cincinnati. His story is so compelling and so heart-rendering that it totally mesmerized those students. You could have heard a pin drop, and many a tear was shed. I will never forget it, and it made a memory for me. After the tragedy in which Robert lost his family of four children and his wife, Robert has dedicated his life to telling his story. He will tell you that in his darkest moments, he felt God's presence the strongest. This is a true opportunity to listen to a man that has undergone a tragic, life-changing experience. It's a chance to respond with a promise to yourself of how you will take to heart his faith-filled message. Make a memory for yourself today. Gentlemen, please welcome Robert Rogers. Applause A torrential rain brought Interstate 35 about an hour outside of Kansas City. The rising waters trapped the family's minivan against the highway barrier until it broke, plunging the vehicle into a creek three stories below. The only family member to survive was the children's father, Robert Rogers. A lot of people would say they would wake up the next morning and wonder if there is a God who could let this happen to their family. Yes, I know there is a God. I came within inches of meeting Him face-to-face, I believe. I know that He loves us, and He wants us to live with Him. There is such a peace in knowing that my family had a deep love and such a strong relationship with their Lord Jesus that they have an everlasting hope and everlasting life. I can feel you in the dreams. I can see you in the sun. I can smell your fragrance in the roses' bloom. I can taste you in ice cream. I can sense you all around. I can hear you in the music of my life. You're a part of me and you will always be. Raindrops flashing on my face. Moonlight shining into space. Breath of heaven blows up. Breathe around my head. The flakes drifting on my tongue. All the times we've had such fun. Someday I'll find a way to hold you near. You're a part of me and you will always be. You're all in Jesus' hands and you will always be. God is so good all the time. And all the time, God is good. God is good all the time. God is good. And all the time. Amen. Amen. I love that. That's just a taste of what it must be like in heaven with the choirs of angels and the saints and my family worshiping him. Praise the Lord. Well, I grew up here in Cincinnati. I lived here for 25 years. And a lot of my family is over here. And I recently gave up my engineering job over a year ago to pursue this ministry full time. And I call it Mighty in the Land ministry. You can see on the screen Mighty in the Land. It comes from a prayer that we prayed over our children from Psalm 112 that his children will be mighty in the land. So I want to challenge each of you to be mighty men of God. Because we have a mighty God with mighty plans and mighty power. And we should not settle for mediocrity or for just survival mentality. But be mighty in this land. The question today is do you know God? Do you know God? Not just know of God, but truly know God. And if today were your last day, could you say, I have no regrets? Like I said after my family went to heaven, I have no regrets. No regrets with God. No regrets with your wife. No regrets with your family. I'm so thankful that my family here taught me all about knowing God. From our upbringing in Our Lady of Lourdes Parish. I'm the youngest of eight children. My parents are here and a lot of my relatives. They have 25 grandchildren. My parents have been married over 52 years. Would you join me in just honoring them for that legacy? I love you guys. It's from their legacy of faith and family that established the foundation of who I am and why I can still stand today. And so you see a lot of us in this picture behind me. But the question is do you really know God? Like Job, after he lost all ten of his children, said, Lord, before I knew of you, but now I know you. The Scripture says, Jesus says, this is the way to have eternal life. To know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, the one you sent to earth. If today were your last day, would you go to heaven? None of us is guaranteed tomorrow. But what matters is where you place your worship. What do you worship? This chair represents Christ. Who is in this chair in your life? Who do you bow to? What's the object of your adoration and your worship? Is it Jesus? I pray it is today, because that's what matters the most. Do you worship your career? Do you worship a habit, an addiction, a hobby? What's in this chair? He wants to be the object of our worship. He says you must worship no other gods but only the Lord, for He is a God who is passionate about His relationship with you. My parents taught us about God not just on Sunday, not just an obligation, not just a ritual, more than a religion, but a relationship, not just membership. They talked about God at home and while we were driving in the car and before and after meals and all the time. So I want to encourage you, make it more than just a once a week obligation. This is not just something we do. This is who we are. Make it your lifestyle. But it takes not letting your ego get in the way, because it's not about us. 1 Peter 2 says, Friends, this world is not your home, so don't make yourselves cozy in it. Don't indulge your ego at the expense of your soul. It's not worth it. It's just not worth it. This world is so temporary. I have a whole house full of belongings from my five family members that I still am going through. You can't take it with you. This world does not exist to please us. We exist to please God. If you're not safe, it's impossible to please Him. Don't seek that position, that promotion, that power, that prestige. Jesus said if you want to be great in the kingdom, you have to first humble yourself. When you humble yourself, He will exalt you. He will place you where you need to be. But it's about becoming one with Christ. As Paul says in Philippians, Yes, everything else is worthless compared with the priceless gain of knowing Christ Jesus, my Lord. That's what matters the most, knowing Christ Jesus, my Lord. So what do we do? I know as men today, you're going to take a lot of things with you, and I'm going to give you a few call to actions. These are mine about knowing God. Number one, first and foremost, as we admonished earlier, if you don't know Jesus in your heart, receive Him today. Because when I was 16 years old, I made a choice. I made a decision to make Jesus Lord over all my heart. And you know, He's not Lord at all if He's not Lord of all. You need to lay it down. But find one of these. Find a Bible and read it every day. Just like in school, how do you learn about physics? You get the book. You open it up. You've got to read it. Number two, memorize Scripture. I think it's so important to get the Word into your heart and to memorize it. Because you don't know when you're going to need it. And you will reflect Jesus if you memorize Scripture. Number three, find an accountability partner. And many of you are already in small groups and do this, but I encourage each of you to have someone hold you accountable. Number four, pray every day and obey God. Obey what this Word says so that you can be mistaken for Jesus today. If today were your last day, know God and have no regrets. I have no regrets with your wife. I'm so thankful. But I have no regrets with my beautiful wife, Melissa. God bless me with a wonderful girl. But to have no regrets, I have two words for you. Give up. Give up. And I wouldn't say that unless it was words that Jesus gave to us in Scriptures. He says in Ephesians 5, You husbands must love your wives with the same love Christ showed the church. He gave up his life for her. He gave up his life for us. Have you given up your life for the Lord? Have you given up your life for your wife? After I went to Our Lady of Lourdes grade school and I was an altar boy there and went to St. Xavier High School, graduated in 1984, I spent two years studying music in Indiana and then came back here to Cincinnati and got a Bachelor of Science in Electrical Engineering from the University of Cincinnati. And part of that curriculum was co-op. So I worked for a year and a half up in Boston at a high-tech firm during the day and at night and on weekends I played piano in downtown Boston, Quincy Market. And little did I know there was this beautiful farm girl from northeast Kansas who was a nanny up in the area. And she walked by me playing piano right here and you see a tip cup on the piano. And she got out a $5 bill and put it in that tip cup and ever since then she said, Man, that was the best five bucks I ever spent. We went out on our first date and we had ice cream and we just found out we both have a deep love for ice cream and fell madly in love. And I proposed to her here in Cincinnati on the Ohio River on BB Riverboats on New Year's Eve, 1990. She said yes and one year later we married here at St. Lawrence Church in Price Hill on New Year's Eve. And we moved to California and lived there for five years. I worked in Silicon Valley. And we just nurtured and our relationship flourished and we just savored life. The first year wasn't easy. We had a lot of things to combine and get over and get through. We were married almost 12 years. And it was not easy all the time because Melissa was abused as a little girl. We had a lot of things to overcome. But God was so good and we pressed in. I mentioned that she was born and raised in Kansas in a farm, walking the fields of corn and picking weeds. She also castrated pigs. And did I happen to mention that I was faithful all 12 of those years? Let me tell you. If you find out your wife knows how to castrate pigs, that will keep you honest and faithful. No, but really, I was faithful because of the example of my parents and because I love Melissa and I want to remain that way. And I believe a woman, the way she looks, is a reflection of how her husband treats her. And my family can attest that Melissa grew even more beautiful over the years. And, you know, I've been on the road in business and I could have been unfaithful, but I chose not to. And we need to run from those things. You see behind me, 2 Timothy, Scripture says to run from lust. Run from anything that stimulates youthful lust. Follow anything that makes you want to do right. You guys know exactly what I'm talking about. Stay away from those places that call themselves adult bookstores or gentlemen's clubs. If you were really a mighty man of God, if you were really an adult and a gentleman, you would not go there. You'd go get some flowers, bring them home to your wife, and lay your life down for her. Let's grow up, men. Let's give ourselves up for our wives. You say, how do I do that? Well, the Scripture behind me is how I do it. Every morning I get on my knees and I say this. I say, Lord, I nail the passions and desires of my sinful nature to the cross and crucify them there. Would you please say that with me a couple of times? I nail the passions and desires of my sinful nature to the cross and crucify them there. One more time. I nail the passions and desires of my sinful nature to the cross and crucify them there. I'm a big creature of habit and repetition and I need that to get through my thick skin and penetrate my heart so that my whole being believes it. That's how you know God and become one with Him. It's getting His Scripture into your heart. You might say, well, I can't do that. I just can't help myself. I've got these urges. I've got these unctions. You know, you've got these addictions and it's hard to look away. But pornography will never, ever satisfy you. And the Bible says there's no excuse. Philippians 2 says, for God is working in you, giving you the desire to obey Him and the power to do what pleases Him. He's giving you the power to do what pleases Him. And that's to obey His Word. And what do we say in the Eucharist when Jesus' body is broken and says, this is my body which is given up for you? Do this in remembrance of me. Have you given up your body for your wife? Have you broken your body and your desires and it being about you and say, I'm going to lay that down for you because I love you, honey. That's what it's all about. But I'm so thankful I have notes from Melissa that are reflections of how we treated one another. And this one she wrote on my 10th wedding anniversary. My dearest Robert, I have lived a full life, more than most live their entire lives. And further down it says, I treasure your gifts of sacrifice and love, patience, understanding and forgiveness. You live daily what God commands you to, a true inspiration to any man who wants to be a good, godly husband. Thank you for loving me through difficult times. I know many times you have made the choice to love me. It is a choice many times. Even though I made it very difficult, you are an example of sacrificial love to me. Thank you for your strength. I admire you in so many ways. And in this one, after our son was five years old, Hi, Bubby, I can't believe five years ago our lives changed so much with the gift of our precious son. Thank you for staying. She thanked him for staying. Because so many men give up and leave. Thank you for staying, loving, supporting us through, I know, what was a very difficult time, especially for you and your first born son. I love you and admire you more than anyone I know. And in this message on our 10th anniversary, in the front of a book, it says, I love our family. I love our children. I love my life. I love you more than life, forever. If you shower your wife with encouragement and affirming words, she will become more beautiful over time. And you can be the world's greatest lover, like John says, love each other in the same way that I love you. And here is how to measure it. The greatest love is shown when people lay down their lives. It's not about us. We are called to lay down our lives. And as we do that, like Jesus made Himself nothing and laid Himself down, He will lift you up. The greatest way to build yourself up is to lay your life down. But there are some powerful words that we can all learn to say if you don't already say these. Let's say these together. Number one, I am sorry. Number two, I was wrong. Number three, please forgive me. Number four, I love you. Thank you, I love you too. And number five, I'll ask direction. I'll only use that one in extreme emergency. But here's a takeaway. If you have no regrets with your wife, date your wife regularly, even more so after the honeymoon. You have to keep that romance alive. And you schedule a date. You go out. Whatever it takes, go on those dates. Cover your wife with encouraging and affirming words. She will become even more beautiful over time. Phone your wife just to say, I love you, no other reason. Don't have her pick up something or run an errand or do something just for that reason. And then write surprise notes to each other. I have a whole shoebox of notes from me to Melissa and Melissa to me. If you really know God, you'll know how to love your wife because Christ laid down His life for us and you'll have no regrets. How about no regrets with your family? Today will be your last day. God bless me with this beautiful family. Melissa, McKenna, Zachary, Nicholas, and Delina. McKenna, eight years old when she went to heaven and is Daddy's first little girl. You can see Jesus through her eyes, I believe. I could talk about her for hours, but she took 48 hours to get here. And boy, she was well worth it even after all that. We had a miscarriage a year after McKenna was born and Melissa nearly died from an ectopic rupture. But God was still good and He blessed us with this little big guy named Zachary. Only the day after he was born in Kansas City, they came to our room and said, your son has Down syndrome. And that was like a baseball bat to our stomachs. And we cried and we asked God why, how could this happen? But we learned so much through Zachary in his years of hospital visits, emergency rooms, surgeries, sign languages, cleft palate, all kinds of things, colostomy bag, you name it. You learn sacrificial, unconditional love, especially with a special needs child. A couple of years later, gave birth to this little big guy named Nicholas. He's a Buzz Lightyear, Power Rangers kid who could make a gun out of a peanut butter sandwich, I tell you. He just has an awe and wonderment of life that I just miss terribly. We had another miscarriage after Nicholas, but God turned that tragedy into a triumph because we followed the luncheon in our heart to adopt. And so we flew from San Francisco to Beijing, China and a few other cities and adopted a special needs girl we named Alina. She had a heart defect and nobody wanted her, but we did because we felt God had prepared us with our son Zachary. And so God blessed us with these four beautiful children. You know what it's like to get them to pose for a picture after 45 minutes? We resorted to singing that Blues Clues song, mail time, mail time, mail time, take the picture, take the picture, take the picture. But I believe we learned through our children to favor every moment and I encourage you not to blow it. Don't trade diamonds for stones. Your family needs you home. They need you there. They need you to pray over them and cover them with blessings and with prayers. And I'm so thankful that we spent these times together going on camp outs and picnics. Cherish your family. Don't let a day go by without letting them know how much you love them because you don't know. You don't know if you have tomorrow. Children spell love. T-I-M-E It's so important to spend that time with them. Don't be so busy doing right things you don't do things right. Don't be so busy making a living you forget to make a life. And you have to rest. Scripture says work six days only, but the seventh day must be a day of total rest. I repeat, this is God talking, I repeat, because the Lord considers it a holy day, who works on the Sabbath must be put to death. I'm glad we don't have that punishment anymore, but we know God is serious about this. For in six days the Lord made heaven and earth, but He rested on the seventh day and was refreshed. I hope we're not so pompous and audacious that we think we don't need to rest when the God of this universe rested and was refreshed. Spend that time resting and with your family. Overcommitment is one of the number one marriage killers. It's your family, it's your first ministry. Give to Caesar what is Caesar's. Give to your job what is your job. But don't give your family leftovers. It's just not worth it. Make those rocking chair decisions. Someday when you're old and rocking in your chair, you'll be glad that you made. But in order to say yes to God and family, you're going to have to say no to some things. No to working late. No to that habit. No to that hobby. No to that addiction. No to lust. No to pornography. No to that whatever. But is it worth it? It is so worth it to spend that time with your family. So here's the takeaways. Number one, sit down and have dinner. Have meals with your family and turn off the television. Number two, pray and read Scripture over your family. They need to hear you. They want to hear you bless them and cover them. Be the priest over your household. Intercede for them. Come home from work on time. Don't live to work, but work to live. And make those rocking chair decisions. Don't be so busy making a living you forget to make a life. Know God and you can have no regrets. You probably weren't able to write down all those suggestions, and so I put them on a little card that you can put in your wallet. These and also some accountability questions. And I brought these here just to give to you as my gift. And so they're up on the balcony and also in the ballroom when we have lunch. I'd be honored to give one to you so you can be reminded of these things to live by. I'm so thankful on August 30, 2003, that I could say I had no regrets because this is where my family went to heaven. We traveled three hours from Kansas City to Wichita, Kansas for a relative's wedding. And after the wedding, we all went out for ice cream. We love ice cream. We had a wonderful meal. And I've got to ask you, if you had to pick one meal before going to heaven, wouldn't it be a big bowl of ice cream anyway? There you go, Melissa. That's the way to do it. That's how I want to go to heaven, with ice cream in my belly. But it was pouring down rain all day. In fact, when we left at 8 p.m., it was dark. And it was raining five inches in that one hour. And without realizing it, our van, with our kids sleeping in back, splashed into this river that was flowing across this section of I-35 you see behind me. It was dark. There's no street lights. And we and 11 other cars stalled quickly in that water. We were already up to our bumper. And within a matter of 10, 15 minutes, it filled the van with floorboards and came all the way up to the seat cushions, all the way up to the steering wheel. We were doing important things. Number one, the van, as our children were crying, we were saying, Jesus, save us. Jesus, save us. Number two, we were saying scripture because we memorized it. Psalm 46 says, God is my strength. God is my refuge. An ever-present help in time of trouble. Number three, we were singing a song of praise, one that we sang with our kids all the time. Lord, I lift your name on high. Lord, I love to sing your praises. I'm so glad you came to save us. Only he didn't save us like I would have thought. The water kept rising. And it was moving at, they say, a rate of 32,000 gallons every second. It was a virtual tsunami. Far too fast for us to get out and carry our kids to safety. This thing was over 1,000 feet wide, over three football fields long, end to end. And the onlooker said it was like a wall of water that wiped out the concrete medians, 11 of these concrete medians. And it took our van with it. And when our van went, all we could do was go into survival mode and say we've got to kick out the window and get our family out. When I kicked it out, the force of the water flushed everything and everyone out of the van that wasn't tied down, including me, my wife Melissa, our oldest daughter McKenna. We're all out of our seat belts. And that was the last time I ever saw them or heard them alive. But in the deep, I felt the peace and the presence of God. I was drowning. I was tossing and turning like a rag doll in the water. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't see. But I felt like God's hand was there lifting us to heaven. And it was okay. It was really okay. When you're in Christ, you don't have to fear death. He was there when you pass through raging waters. Be not afraid. I didn't feel like I touched His hand because He gave me a peace. As I surrendered my family, even then, like a baton, God said, let them go. I've got them. Like that song, Jesus Loves Me, little ones to Him belong. They belong to Him. My head came above the water, and somehow I believe God got me over to the shore, and I crawled out on my hands and knees, and I just cried out to God. I said, oh God, oh God. I cried out for my family. In a moment, I lost everything, being a husband, father, provider, protector. But I could still stand up because I built my life on the rock. I still had a life because of Jesus Christ. And I threw up everything that I had ingested, and I made my way back to the freeway as fast as I could until the police officer, my wife, and four kids are still down there. And they put me in an ambulance for three hours and finally took me to the hospital. I x-rayed my lungs and treated my scrapes and cuts. About five in the morning, they came to my room and said, Mr. Rogers, we found your van. This is what it looked like. It was upside down a mile and a half from the freeway. They said, we need you to identify the bodies of your three youngest children. You better have your feet on a rock if you ever have to hear those words. And as they pulled the drape back in that emergency room, I saw Zachary, Nicholas, and Alina. And my body, I just collapsed over each one of theirs and draped mine over theirs and cried like you can't imagine and stroked their wet hair, and I still cry all the time. I miss them terribly. But in that moment that I thought God was most absent, He was the most present. He was there. And I said, Lord, into your hands I commend their spirits. Just like Jesus on the cross, the Holy Spirit prompted those words in me. I couldn't have done it on my own. It was a miracle. I'm alive right now. I should be dead by all accounts. But I believe God has me here for a purpose, and I believe I'm doing it. But this is my van when they turned it over. Her leaving looks like a van. About 10 in the morning, they came to my room and said, we found McKenna. And she was up against that barbed wire fence. And it wasn't until three days later they finally found Melissa way off to the top right of the retention pond two miles away. And so I had to surrender my entire family. But God gave me a beautiful gift in this picture that was taken at the wedding reception just hours before they went to heaven. Now everybody's looking at the camera and smiling. And this camera was in the flood, and they found it and were able to salvage this picture. And I have this picture on some bookmarks in the back, too, if you'd like some of those. I'd be honored to give one to you. Do you know God today? If you could get your life, would you still be able to stand because your feet were on the rock? Get your life right with God, with your wife, with your family. Start today. We don't know if we are guaranteed tomorrow. Know God and have no regrets. And be mighty in this land. I wrote a song for my daughter McKenna because she knows something that we don't know. She knows what heaven is like. ♪ ♪ You taught me what it's like to be a daddy ♪ To be invincible in your eyes ♪ You taught me what it's like to be the king of our castle ♪ And miss my little princess away ♪ But what was it like to break the bonds of death into life ♪ What was it like to breathe in your last breath and not die ♪ What was it like to pierce the earthly veil to heaven ♪ Can you teach me somehow what is heaven like ♪ You taught me what it's like to be your hero ♪ To feel your whole hand wrapped around my finger ♪ You taught me what it's like to kiss my princess goodnight ♪ But when the rain came I couldn't save your life ♪ McKenna, what was it like to break the bonds of death into life ♪ And what was it like to breathe in your last breath and still not die ♪ And what was it like to pierce the earthly veil to heaven ♪ Can you teach me somehow what is heaven like ♪ And what is it like to walk through heaven's door ♪ And what is it like to dance on streets of gold ♪ And what is it like to savor heaven's ice cream ♪ And what is it like to hold Jesus and just gaze in his eyes ♪ What was it like to pierce the earthly veil to heaven ♪ Can you teach me somehow, can you show me somehow ♪ Darling, teach me somehow what is heaven like ♪ Know God today and have no regrets. Live every day as if it could be your last. And don't focus so much on making money. Focus instead on making memories with your family. God bless you guys. Thank you for having me here today. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you, Robert, for that remarkable story. It's a true testimony of faith. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.