Could You Possibly Be Any More Boring??

The speaker is Mr. O, an entertainer who runs a blog and podcast. He believes that mainstream media focuses on monotony and disinterest to sell advertising. He gives examples such as the Olympic coverage and political conventions, where irrelevant details like flag pins and delegates' dogs are highlighted instead of important issues. He criticizes the media for prioritizing stupid and boring stories, and believes that they want viewers to be well-rested and not think about important matters. He encourages listeners to laugh and not take things too seriously. Hi, and welcome to Mr. O's Sideways View, a blog and podcast dedicated to all those folks who aren't me. And I've noticed a surprisingly large number of people who aren't. Hmm. Anyway, I'm Mr. O, and it's time to take another sideways view at our crazy world. Look, I've been an entertainer for a long time. In fact, I was on the road as a stand-up comedian for a couple of years. I don't know if I was hilarious or not, but many folks find throwing things at the stage quite enjoyable, so either way, I was a hit. These days, I spend my time performing for children. They throw softer items, and their arm strength isn't as good. It's a win-win. So you see, I know a bit about making folks happy, and I'm an amateur. I've tried to get into the mainstream entertainment industry many times, and they don't want me. I don't know why. Maybe they're worried about being responsible for the damage folks inflict on their innocent TV sets while I'm performing. Who knows? Where I'm going with all this is, I try to keep people happy when they're looking at me or reading what I write. Mainstream media does not. Somehow, the industry feels monotony and disinterest are better for selling advertising. You doubt me? Then you haven't been checking in with recent events. We're due for the Olympics this year. In general, they're pretty good. The thing is, every news outlet will broadcast a three-hour opening ceremony, and not much of the sporting events. Think about it. I love the swimming, but unless there's an American in three different lanes, the media doesn't show it. On the other hand, I've been watching basketball for the last six months. Sadly, the Olympic powers broadcast every game. I've seen enough basketball. I want swimming. But no such luck. Media always goes with the tried and true. And though. In contrast, the athletes' entrance is shown in its entirety. It's not that I don't have respect for the work they've put in. It's that I really don't need to see one Liechtenstein pole vaulter marching behind a flag bearer. I'm sure he's very good, but watching him walk into a stadium does nothing for me. On the other hand, it takes twenty minutes for the American contingent to do the same march. I'm a proud American, but watching a thousand people parade by wearing the exact same outfits is monotonous. Spice it up. Maybe the archers shooting arrows at them or the shot putters throwing stones into the crowd would make things more interesting. I'd tune in for that. The chaos would be incredible. Of course they tried to make things more interesting by showing celebrities in the crowd. The reporting usually looks like this. Hey, there's the French president talking to the German prime minister. Also, there's Kasper Neuwirth, the African rap artist, eating what looks like to be popcorn. What do you say, Bob? It could be popcorn, but considering his background, it's more likely pistachios. I'll check with Laura back in the studio just to be sure. Whatever might be said, I don't care about these people. In fact, I'm jealous of every one of them. They got tickets to the Olympics and I didn't. It's not that I would have gone to the opening ceremony either way. It's tedious, even if you are eating popcorn. It just seems to me that with big events, the media is looking to make the mind-numbing more exciting and the thrilling more mundane. You doubt me? You say this is a unique, rare situation. You laugh at my ignorance of the facts. Well, a great big TAH right back at you. Your scoffing just helps to prove my point. You're forgetting the Olympics just to laugh at me. As far as being an isolated example, again I say, HA! Recently, here in the United States, we had a huge political convention. Speeches were made. Insults were thrown. Party decisions were imparted to the masses. Great numbers of people drank and made fools of themselves. We're talking big news here. Hundreds of media personalities descended like vultures to the site. And what do you suppose they decided to tell the American people? They informed us who were and weren't wearing flag pins. Who cares? Are they exposing some non-pin-wearing secret society looking to take over the world? Are they so desperate for cash that selling five-dollar pins to the delegation will make or break this election? If that's the case, maybe they shouldn't have paid the five million bucks to have the convention at a lavish resort. You can rent a pavilion in a city park for almost nothing. Or perhaps just invite less people. At 200 clams a night for a room, the cost adds up. Either way, I don't think the pin money is going to make that much of a difference. And I certainly don't need to hear about it at the top of every hour. Next, I heard a story about which delegates had dogs. I'm totally serious. How do those media folks think this is anything but mundane? History-making pronouncements are being made. But the news people think we want to know that 60% of the folks there own pets. In fact, it was noted only 44% of U.S. households have canine friends. Consequently, folks in the party are more likely to have doggy buddies. Wow! To heck with critical issues facing the country. My voting mind has been made up. Then again, how many of these dogs wear flag pins? Now, this information would be important. It boggles my mind just how boring this stuff is. My mom always said, If you have nothing to say, shut up! Today's media could learn from her. Instead, they've broken everything up into three brackets. Interesting, entertaining, and stupid. Frankly, interesting gets tossed out the window immediately. Entertaining gets it stooped. But only if it can be said in some non-entertaining way. On the other hand, stupid is king. A reporter will jump right to stupid every time. I don't know why, but there it is. How's this for an example? There was also a 10-minute story about social media influencers. It seems that this year, more of them had access to the delegates than four years ago. It was also noted that eight years past, they didn't even exist at the convention. Again, wow! Social media is growing. Who could have guessed that? I don't know. Maybe everyone? In my younger years, I watched the news to be informed. As the industry changed, it became more of a distraction. Now I tune in to fall asleep. I'll tell you it's better than any pill on the market. Three minutes in and I'm snoring. Actually, the only reason I last a whole three minutes is the fact that the correspondent is some hot chick. For all the wrong reasons, she keeps my attention for a while. Not a long while, mind you, but a while. I don't understand why, but it appears that all media outlets want me to be well-rested. Apparently, my health is the single most important world issue. They feel TV is unhealthy, so they put terrible stuff on it. Therefore, I will go outside more. Isn't this great? They want me to sleep easy, knowing nothing happening is worth thinking about. Actually, I think there should be, but not according to the media. Thanks for listening, and I hope you laughed a lot. Stop by anytime. Open 24-7 for your smiling convenience. If you liked it, push like, or share it with a friend. If you missed an episode, you can hear Mr. O on Apple Podcasts, Google Play Music, and Spotify. Remember to subscribe so you won't miss it again. If you'd like, you can send me an email at ohhs sidewaysview at gmail dot com. That's O-H-H-S sidewaysview at gmail dot com. And remember what I always say. Laugh now. You can be crabby anytime.