Ep17 In The Shadow of the mountain C.L.Knox stories

The speaker discusses some of their childhood memories growing up in Birmingham, Alabama in the 1960s. They mention the assassination of John F. Kennedy and the impact it had on their mother. They also talk about the bombing of a black church in Birmingham and the brutal treatment of black people by the police, particularly Bull Connor. The speaker shares their mother's belief in civil rights and her preference for dating black men. They also mention an incident where their mother was beaten up, initially thought to be by the KKK, but it turned out to be one of the men she was dating. The speaker reflects on these experiences and compares them to the present day. They then discuss the letters of James, Peter, and John in the Bible and the themes of holiness and being ambassadors for Christ. Hello! Episode 17. So we're heading into the Christmas season, and then consequently lots of memories around Christmas, and then if I extrapolate on them around Easter and other holidays, you know, Thanksgivings and things like that, probably next week I'll talk about some Christmas memories. But after talking last week about the life, my life in Birmingham as a child, I wanted to, I don't know if elaborate, maybe elaborate, I don't know, talk about that a little bit more. Some of my earliest memories are from when I was five years old, so you don't, you may not have very clear memories when you're five, but I do have some pretty clear ones. One of them was the assassination of John F. Kennedy. Just my mother's reaction. It imprinted me. It was raw, raw emotion, angst. There was a different, like she was a Democrat, he was a Democrat, but it was a different time then. Politics didn't divide so much, you know. The Democrats didn't hate the Republicans, and the Republicans didn't hate the Democrats. They worked together, and a lot of bipartisan stuff happened, and, you know, they were corrupt together. I mean, face that. I mean, that's a different story. I didn't really want to talk about that. I'm sure corruption will come up again. So that was an experience. My mom's religion was really basically, at that time, civil rights. That was her life. When she went to church, the Unitarian Church, when she was in public, when she, you know, at that time, she was still married to my father. In fact, she may have been pregnant. My sister was born in 64. So, and I remember that clearly, like, so that's a six-year-old memory, but five-year-old memories. I want to talk a bit about another memory of something that happened in 1963, and that's the bombing of the 12th Avenue. I can't remember where it was. There was a bombing of a black church right downtown in Birmingham, and it was an intentional bombing to hurt people. There was dynamite planted under this church porch area, and it was on a timer and set to go off as people would be arriving to go to church. So, I mean, it was brutal. This was Birmingham in the 60s, at least the early 60s, but really farther, farther in than the early 60s. So, excuse me, still fighting that cough. The rest of the cold's gone, but I still fight the cough. And I think there was four children were killed, three girls and a boy, or they might have all been girls. They were all little black girls and boys, on their way to Sunday school. And my memory is that they did eventually catch or convict four KKK members of that bombing. But at that time, Birmingham was a brutal, it was probably one of the most brutal places for black people to live in Birmingham, Alabama. They had one of the most horrendous or aggressive, hateful, most infamous, brutal, a brutal man. Bull Connor was the sheriff of Birmingham, Jefferson County. He made no qualms about attacking black people with batons and beating the crap out of them. And he had a group of police dogs. He would sick, if there was a gathering for protest, he would sick the dogs on the protesters. I mean, it's not, I mean, it's not the same as, you know, getting a water cannon. It's a little different than water cannons. And they use shotguns, and I wouldn't be surprised if they had full pellets in them, not just, you know, plastic. Well, they didn't have plastic pellets, but rock salt and bacon rind. So it's, it's in that, that that was the atmosphere, the atmosphere of Birmingham, Alabama, when I was growing up. And, you know, my mom was on the opposite side of that. It was her deeply held belief that the black man was equal to the white man. As I got older and was more cognizant of the way that she lived out her worldview, it was quite unbalanced. She was, she had a very different kind of prejudice. It wasn't a hateful prejudice. It was a prejudice towards, like she voted, she would have voted for Obama just because he was black. That's it. It wouldn't have mattered the character of the man. It wouldn't matter, nothing, none of that would have mattered. That's how she was. And when my stepfather left her, she began looking for a black man to date because she always liked black men. Now in my childhood, again, this would have happened after, so after my dad left, my mom started dating. You know, she started dating and she dated some black men. Now that was really pushing it in Birmingham at that time. So that would have been closer to 67, 68 when that was happening. I think my dad left in 66. So I mean, she may have started dating in 66. But so we didn't often see who she was going out with. But at one point, my mom was brutally beaten up and left for dead in a ditch. And by some miracle, she was found. I don't remember the details of that story right at the moment. I have them sort of written down somewhere. I have to look them up. But it ruptured her spleen. She almost died. Like I said, we had we had a maid. So we weren't left alone. And I believe my dad probably came and stayed with us while she was in the hospital. Because she was like, if you know anything about a ruptured spleen, it bleeds out really quick. You bleed out with a spleen really quick. Now that just reminds me of another story from being a kid in Calkin Beach in the 70s. But I'll get to that one another day. In the end, like we all thought that she was beat by white people. That's what we assumed that somehow she had been mobbed and beaten up and left for dead in a ditch because of the KKK. Well, in the end, it turned out that wasn't what happened. My mom had been dating two men. One was a black man and the other was a white man. Now it turns out the white man was not just white. He was probably KKK. He was a deputy sheriff for for Birmingham. Like this is when you find out this story, it's mind boggling knowing who Bull Connor was. And that this guy worked under his leadership. I mean, that doesn't mean all cops are corrupt, because the head cop is corrupt. But there is that sort of natural, you want to naturally link those two things together. So in the end, it turns out that the black fella found out that she was also dating a deputy sheriff, and he beat her up and left her for dead. Now, because of what I just did, where I put the two together, the sheriff and the deputy sheriff, I'm sure that's what happened with the black dude. Like he thought, what is she spying on me for the KKK? Am I going to, you know, whatever? I don't know. Who knows what happened? It didn't change my mom's feelings or opinions of black people. There comes this point where you, if you want to be genuine, you know, and it's back to worldview again, if your worldview is that of being generous and forgiving and kind to everybody and trying to be tolerant and accepting and all that stuff. So if genuinely, if you want to be that, then you need to be able to learn to put yourself into another person's position. Now, for those of you who know me, I am not a political, I am a political person. It's not as important to me as my faith, but in a very tangible way, they're united. So in looking at the world today, comparing it to how it was then and growing up as a child there from like that memory was from when I was five, earlier memory from when I was eight or nine, and memories, I have memories all the way through there of what it was like to be a white person in Alabama and to observe black people because my mom wasn't separated from the black people to the same capacity that people normally were. So I mean, you want to see a good representation, watch that movie to help. It is a pretty good representation of what it was like in the 60s, blacks and whites. Only some of them actually love the black people and others just use the black people. So back to today. So I've been thinking, you know, I quoted from from James, the book of James last last week. I also I like there's these three or four letters, there's a bunch, there's more than that. There's a number of letters that come after, after Hebrews, the book of Hebrews, and they are James, which is the brother of Christ, which I talked about last time, and then Peter, who he's the rock, Peter is considered by the Catholics, the first Pope, he was the he was the disciple, one of the close circle of disciples for Christ. It was basically three Peter, James and John. Now James, James, the disciple was the first one of the 12 disciples to be executed. So he was beheaded. And then the other one is John. So these books, the book of James, the book of Peter, first and second Peter books of first, second, and third, John, they're letters. And then after that comes Jude, and Jude was also the brother of Christ. But anyway, they, you get to see these men, their characters come out, like they're totally different characters, they're human beings. And so they get to express what they experienced and internalized and how that formed their belief system, their belief in Jesus being, being the Son of God, and every bit God, every bit man. And, and it's interesting to look at them and see the things that they focus on. Now, Peter talks, in his first letter, he talks pretty much at length about our position, as we are, we are a holy nation, the believers are a holy nation. So they should be holy, like, are we? There's got to be a question there when you look at history. But there has always been a thread of the holy, the holy, the holy, like been the devout. Anyway, throughout history, that is. So a holy nation, a kingdom of priests, so we're kings and priests. This is the mentality that he's living under. He's like, we are raised above, but we're not from this world, our world is another place. So there's other places where we're called ambassadors, the believers are called ambassadors. So we're supposed to be ambassadors from this other kingdom, this kingdom that is the kingdom of Christ, this, this, call it heaven, whatever it is. I mean, Jesus talked often, and he was often asked questions about the kingdom of God. And he spoke about it being here now. But just seeing the character and how, how Peter and James, Paul, other disciples, talk about the, the relationship that we have to authority, like, we are here as humans in the flesh, and we have a need to honor authority. So, but that didn't stop any of the disciples from ever addressing injustice, okay? It was a different time there. There was kings, and then there was the emperor. It was a different kind of system. But now we live where we live. We have some legal rights to express our views, to be putting it out there, right? And the believer doesn't always see things the same way. Like, for instance, with the border crisis, I have a brother-in-law who's a Catholic. And he puts forward these, these statements that I don't disagree with that, about the immigrants, the illegal migrants coming into the states in the South, how they're people, they need, they have wants and desires and needs. And I totally agree. And I have a lot of compassion for that. And I have sent resources to deal with that, and homelessness, and motherless or fatherless children, and single mothers. And in my life, and we have, we have taken people into our house who were pregnant and had no, the father wasn't involved. We have, we've done this throughout our life. I've been a volunteer in almost everything. It's part of the mentality that I have to adopt, because it's my worldview. So if I believe my worldview, then I begin to do these things. So I'm not going to be quiet when I see injustice and corruption. Anyway, back to that thing on the border, like, I agree with him that, like, I posted a story on Facebook about the immigration officers being pulled off of their duties to guard the border and prevent people from entering illegally and to track down illegal migrants. And they've been assigned, this was, this was a, the video was a congressional hearing. And they've been assigned to make sandwiches and take care of these migrants who are illegal, illegally entering our country. Now, and I don't, I don't think it's the state's responsibility to make sandwiches for illegal migrants. I think it is the responsibility of humans. I think it's the responsibility of Christians. I think it's the responsibility of NGOs or churches who have that as their mandate. Churches should have that as their mandate. Christians should have that as their mandate. That should be something that directs and influences your, your view. Guess I want to extrapolate a little bit. Like, I believe that it's my job, first of all, to honor all men. Another thing, you know, I've watched this Bass Reeves, Lawman Bass Reeves, I think it's called. It's on Paramount. And it's, it's done by the same guy that did the, the Yellowstone Dutton family, his stories. It's a true story. It's about a black man who becomes a marshal after the Civil War. He was a slave, and he's freed, and he becomes a marshal. He's asked to be a marshal. It's an interesting story. I really quite like it. But there's something about this guy, the black man, he, he, he believes the Bible so, so deeply that it influences virtually everything that he does. And he does not take lightly the taking of a life. And he learned, he learned, when he was a slave, his master was a major colonel or something in the Civil War. And he rode with him. And his master gave him a gun and said, either you fight or I kill you, basically. So he learned to shoot and fight and, and he learned how to be a soldier. So these were qualities, these were things that he needed to be a lawman in, in, at that time. At every time probably would, definitely at that time. So, but he didn't, he did not relish or enjoy the taking of a life. Every time he took a life, it took part of him. And he talks about it. He talks about it in relationship to his belief of God. Now this man was a slave, and he was taught Christianity by his master. But he learned to read, and he reads the Bible himself. Now there's some people that'll say that the blacks had their own, they had a Bible that was written specifically for the blacks. I wouldn't, it wouldn't surprise me. I've never looked into it. But the truth is the truth, and the Spirit of God is powerful. And this, this man, the way that it's being written, the way that he's being portrayed, is a godly man. He's on the, he's on the likes, he's the likes of Martin Luther King. He's the likes of, of Billy Graham. Except that he's not a minister. He's a minister of the law. He's, he's a sheriff, or a marshal. It's really interesting. And the point being, I honor that, I honor him. I honor all those policemen. I honor the position that they hold. I honor the prime minister. I despise the man. I think he's a wicked man, Trudeau. I despise the man, the president of the United States, Biden. I think he's a puppet. I don't think he does anything. I think there's handlers that do everything behind him. I despise the man, Trump. He's a scoundrel. He's been historically a scoundrel. For any of those guys, I allow for repentance and change. And Trump is saying that he's changed and whatever, but whatever. If you're going to vote, you don't have the option to choose a godly man because they're not there. The godly men aren't running for position. Typically. It's been a long time in both countries. Anyway, I just want to explain, I wanted to explain how I get this incorporating politics into my faith. It's not incorporated into my faith. It's just part of me living out my faith. And it's how I've interpreted my worldview in relationship to my understanding of the Bible. And I want to go farther into that, and I don't know if I will. I won't in this podcast, but maybe I'll start another. I mentioned it before. Maybe I'll start another podcast. I think it's balanced and I trust my ability to observe what the duty of the state is and what the duty of the individual is and what the duty of the church is, what the duty of the Christian is. And I think it's pretty good. I'm open to criticism or discussion to re-examine that. I am constantly re-examining it. And I have to, otherwise I just become angry. And the passion overtakes the compassion. And you need them both. You need both a passion and compassion. Those are things that make for the well-rounded man. Anyway. So this is a refining of my worldview and a internalizing of that and a manifestation of that. I suggest you pick up the Bible and read it. But I've been looking into some of the atheist arguments against God and stuff. So it's interesting. The ones that have read the Bible, their arguments actually hold more water. They're the ones that are thinking about it. But you still have to make your own decision. And again, you have to trust. Like earlier in Peter, it talks about the believers being preordained from the beginning of time so God knew who would accept him and who wouldn't. And the purpose, the growth, what it's for, the purpose is to bring us to this place where we are prepared to be revealed in Christ. When Christ is revealed in the last day. And again, I spoke about that before. I think we're approaching that rather rapidly. But every generation thinks that. World War II, World War I, even the Civil War probably. Anyway, that's 17. I don't know what I'm going to do for a song. I'm still not singing yet. Figure something out. Thanks a lot. The burdens that we heavy on a man, while they were heavy on a man like me, and even in the quiet of the night, I know a battle that no eye can see. Like living with a tired and weary heart in the jungles that a mind can see, and bearing the weight of one man's soul, even though that one man believes it's only natural. It's not like I've lost all hope, I haven't lost any at all. It's not a fear about my destiny, it's not a fear that I might fall. I have a goal that I still press on to, though through trials I must go. The things I've done, no punishment to suffer, the things that He did to save my soul. Everything He did to save my soul. And sometimes when I'm crying inside me, I wish the tears would flow, that someone might see me and understand, you know. Cause when my heart is weary and my strength is fading oh so low, my faith is seeming cloudy and the world is growing oh so cold. Seems only natural. There's still something that I have to live for, and that's more precious than gold. Runs like a river right through the center of everything that I know. Truth is my ally and my sword is in the spirit and faith is a shield all around me. The things I've done, I know that I won't die for. The things that He did to set me free. Everything He did to make me free. I don't want it to look like desperation, it's not. I just need some clarity, cause in my heart I need that deep relation and I want to be found in His love. Can't you tell when you look upon me, I feel pain like every man. And in my heart there is this mighty fortress and that my friend is God. It's my God. It's my God. It's my God. It's my God. It's my God. It's my God. It's my God. It's my God. It's my God. It's my God. It's my God. It's my God. It's my God.