Fear 1

Fear is a natural part of our lives and even if everything is going well, we will still have fears. These fears are necessary for personal growth and authenticity. The ego is the source of these fears, but we can overcome them by stepping into the fear and taking risks. The worst that can happen is often not as bad as we think, and the growth and learning that come from facing our fears are worth it. We should take risks that align with our authentic selves and not be influenced by others' egos. It's important to find supportive people who understand and have had success in taking risks. I wanted to talk a bit about fear and how the role it plays in our lives and how to look at it from a sort of spiritual perspective. And when I think about my own life, there's always fears there. You kind of wake up and you live with these sort of fears and I just want to explore what does that mean as someone who wants to be fully authentic and self-actualised. How do we deal with that? And I think the first thing is that I think fear is a perfectly natural thing, in fact we're always going to have them. When I look at my own life, I've never ever been without fear of something. In a way it just doesn't matter how good your life is, your mind will create a fear even if everything was perfect. You would worry about getting sick or your family getting sick or you'd want a career promotion or you'd lack meaning in some part of your life or you'd worry about a relationship. There's always that fear and I don't think it really has any correlation to how well we're doing. I think that's the way it has to be because you get back to what the universe is about and this concept of duality. If we didn't have fear, we wouldn't have the joy of stepping into those fears and overcoming them and becoming fully authentic. So they're just a necessary part of our existence. I suppose it comes down to everything is that the ego is the source of these fears and it's how do we respond to that voice. The more we step into the fear and take it on and hear that voice but step into the fear and overcome it, the stronger and more fully authentic we become as a person. I look at my life and the times I've stepped into that fear and gone into relationships and put my heart at risk or taken a career risk with business breaking or property development or travelled when I went to the UK or got up and done public speaking, those times where I've stepped into fear and taken an authentic risk, they're the best times of my life. So that's what life is really, it's having these fears and being able to sort of step into them. But what actually happens, I think, I look at my life now and I suppose at the ego level or the superficial level, there's a lot of areas that would need improvement across relationships and where they're not where I want to be or where I'm in a fully authentic place. So I've got a lot of challenges ahead. And some of those challenges I'm excited about but other ones, there are fears. There are fear about having a source of income because that's going to run out in three years and three months. But I think the thing with fear we have to do first is acknowledge it. Acknowledge the voice and not run away from it and sort of say, well, look, I am fearful about this. But sort of break down the fear and say, like when I look at a three-month thing, I say, what's the worst that can happen? You know, the absolute worst, what is the real underlying fear? Not the ego-driven fear which is all about letting other people down or not being acknowledged or something. It's an ego-driven fear, but what's the real cost? We're talking about the worst that could happen is I'd be unemployed for half a year for 26 weeks. And I'd be down 26 grand. But in that six months, I would have had all that time to do productive things in M&A and property development and business creation, generating new relationships and investing in myself. And that total investment in myself would be $26,000, it's nothing. So there's nothing real there. It's real in the sense that I need to take practical steps to address it, but it's certainly nothing to fear. It's nothing to wake up every day and sort of kind of let it get me down or anything. And I think, but the bigger picture is just these fears we have, and it's about really hearing the voice, but one, realizing that the fear has the power, not the underlying sort of emotional circumstance it represents. It's the actual fear. It's the ego that has the power. The actual thing is never that big a deal. But secondly, it's about stepping into that fear and just going, great, I know that's there. I hear that voice, but I'm now going to step into it. It's the same thing whenever I've tried to do anything entrepreneurial or in property development step. I've kind of taken the initial step into the fear, but then just been beaten back, being thought it's silly or it's... So I think that's how to look at fear. I think it's a necessary part of our human existence. It's a bit like sin. It has to be there for us to have the dual option of going into our authenticity. It's really the opposite of courage and the heart virtues. You can either be led by fear or you can live a courageous, authentic life. And the thing about these fears is there is an underlying cost that they represent, but even if we bear that cost, even if we take the risk or we confront the fear and the worst happens, and sometimes it will, that's the learning experience, that's the growth. Whether we succeed or we lose, it's the stepping into the fear and taking it on and what it reveals about our authentic self that is the growth. So I think that's fear. I suppose the question is then, what risks do we take? If we know that it's generally a good thing to look at the fears we have and understand them, hear the voice, but then step into them, but when do we take a risk? And I think it just comes down to authenticity. Whenever we decide we're going to do something, is it authentic? Does it truly represent us? Is it a smart risk to take, is it? And then if it is, you just need to step into that fear and do it. And the final thing is, is I think that it's not just our own psychology and our own ego we're confronting. Whenever you do these things, whenever you really back yourself in and take a risk, it's everybody else's ego. Everybody else has got their own agenda and their own ego, and sometimes exceeding the limitations they've set for you upsets them as well, or confronts their own ego. So in these kind of risks, if you can find people who are supportive and who understand the psychology of it and have had success themselves, then talk to them, but your average friend, family member, work colleague, they're not going to want you to do this. So you just announce it, you do it, and then announce it later. You don't offer it up for discussion and contemplation. You've just got to back yourself in and do it.