Chat With Themmy- The Law Of Giving and Receiving _ w_ Shabnam Naz Ansari_

Temi Ahamba welcomes viewers to another episode of Chat with Temi and introduces her guest, Ms. Sharves, who will discuss the topic of volunteering. Ms. Sharves is the founder and CEO of Startup Charity in Canada, which aims to connect communities and remove the middleman from the volunteering process. She shares her personal journey of overcoming adversity and how it inspired her to start the charity. The charity focuses on the principles of volunteering and connecting humanity based on love and compassion. Ms. Sharves also shares her experience of reuniting with her children after eight years and her mission to ensure that no one feels isolated. Hello, hello, hello guys. Good morning, good evening, good afternoon, and good night to you from wherever you may be watching me from today. This is your girl, Temi Ahamba. My name is Selma Sisi Ahamba, and I am your one and only host for Chat with Temi. So definitely guys, I am on here today. I want to welcome you to another brand new episode of Chat with Temi guest feature. Guess what guys, there's another Canadian guest to the record. So we're bringing someone from all the way Canada again to share her experience, share her story, to inspire us all, to educate us, to empower us, to steer our life in the right direction. You know how we do it. We're here to empower, we're here to inspire, and we are here to educate. So today's discussion is something that's very near and dear to my heart because I started my professional journey through volunteering. And today, we're going to hear from an amazing lady all the way from Canada to share her story of how she's moving the needles and helping others to volunteer well. I know you volunteer your time in your community. I know you go through the charity organization to volunteer. Are you volunteering well? How are you doing it? So today, we're going to be looking at this very special topic, the Uber of volunteering, the law of giving and receiving. Are you a volunteer? Have you volunteered before? Are you looking to volunteer? Definitely grab your seat, grab some pen and paper, or grab your phone note. And definitely come on here to take some seats and learn. All right? So without much ado, I'd love to welcome my guest all the way from Canada, Ms. Sharves, as she gets through with us and educate us on how we can volunteer well. All right? You know how we do it. Give me some drumrolls to get my guest on stage. Yes, let's grab my guest up here. Hello, hello, hello, and welcome, Ms. Sharves, to Chat with Timmy. Hello, Tim. This is beautiful, the way you introduced the show. It's truly amazing. I was on the backstage, and I was really enjoying the way you started out. A big applause. Thank you, thank you. I appreciate it. I am so honored to have you on the show today. I am very, very passionate about this discussion, simply because I started off my professional journey as a volunteer. I was a scholar. I was a scholarship scholar for United Nations Educative Empowerment Program, where they funded my education. And then as a way to give back, we were volunteers to other refugee camps and giving back our time and helping put stuff together and making life better for other people as they had made life better for us. And we did some pretty amazing projects where initially when I was on the team, when I was part of the leadership team at the time, we set up an educative fund where scholars themselves would contribute one percent of their stipend to help a kid at the refugee camp. And that project grew so widely that we sponsored two girls through a secondary school or through a high school. And when they came out, they also got the opportunity to get their tertiary or their university educational funding. And now they're two amazing medical practitioners. And they're traveling places. They're helping people. When I look back, I'm like, I am so grateful I had the opportunity to be part of something that's special because now I can literally look at my hard work in the form of a human being that I was there and it happened and were able to start that process for me. So when I saw your topics of the Uber of volunteering and the law of giving and receiving, I'm like, okay, now this is another information, this is another conversation I definitely want to have and talking to just understand your perspective from another, being in a Western country and doing a lot of great things in your community. I am so honored to have you here today. Please introduce yourself and take us away. Yes. Thank you so much. Thank you so much for inviting me to the show and related to your volunteering experience and volunteering journey. It feels great when you are impacting life. It feels amazing. It's like if you want to lift yourself up, lift others. That's the beauty of that. So just a bit of an introduction. So my name is Shabnam Naamansari. I'm the founder and CEO of Startup Charity, registered in Canada. It's a federally registered charity. We operate out of three locations from Glens Beach in the Niagara region of Ontario, Hamilton and Mississauga. These are the three locations. And the reason why I say it's a startup, it's a charity that we started last year in terms of our program. So it's still getting there in terms of it. The major aim of the charity is to connect communities together. And the idea is, is basically a marketplace for volunteering. So when you talk about volunteering, instead of volunteering to a middleman or to a local charity, the idea is to remove the middleman from the equation and let community members offer help and support and seek help and support to and from each other. Because what's happening right now is that even though people are volunteering, they are volunteering through a charity. So they lack that joy, that fulfillment, that deeper connection that comes to it. And in spite of the fact that people might be getting supported by local charity, there are many, many people who get missed through the cracks. They are not supported by the community. And even when they are supported through the local charity, they remain isolated from the community. So the idea is to remove the middleman. If you look at the name itself, Volunteer Well, well basically is in all three meanings. Well in terms of the well of volunteers, the pool of resources, the pool of volunteers who are volunteering to their communities, to those living around them. The second is in terms of doing volunteering the right way. Volunteer well in terms of not through a middleman but directly. And the third is in terms of health and wellness. So if you want to really be healthy and well and uplift yourself, uplift others. And also in terms of the communities who are well connected with each other are healthy and well in terms of stronger and resilient and well connected communities. So these are the three meanings of the charity, of the name. So that brings a lot of, like you said, if you want to make sure you're well, make sure someone else is well. And the back end of that is you get instantly okay yourself because you're looking at your impact, breathing and living your hard work. How did you come up with that? What was life before you started Volunteer Well? You're asking my why, right? The reason behind I started the charity. So the reason is actually it's a lifelong, I would say suffering from which I found my lifelong mission. So born and brought up in Pakistan as a Muslim, entered into a 13 year long abusive marriage, ended up entering into a divorce battle in the court. Since law has recently changed, customs and practice had not, that legal court battle continued for three years. It was a three year legal court battle in the court, character assassination, end to end, family, friends, pressure, bribing of lawyers by him. I ended up studying the law myself and at the end of the three year period when I finally got the divorce, I had given up on the system, completely disconnected from the whole system. At that point of time, I was senior vice president of the second largest bank in Pakistan, really up there in terms of being only one woman out of the 25 men in the room of senior vice president. And I was really connected to my three children at the time. My eldest was eight year old at the time, two girls and a boy. So when I gave up on the system, I went to Dubai in search of a job, but I couldn't get a job equivalent to that level. I came back and as soon as I came back, my ex applied for the custody of the children through the court. I was at my weakest at that point of time. I didn't have the courage or the strength to go through another court case at least. I went to the court and I handed over the custody of my children with my own hands to him and I left the country as a rebel. And rebel not just in terms of my country system, but rebel in terms of my friends, my family, my societal norms, my traditions, my religion. But later on, when I started studying the holy book, I realized that this is not what the divine wants from us. Divine wants only two key things, because what everybody else is following are just hearsay. This is not what is expected. And the two key principles that are the foundations of the charity are, and that is what the divine expects. Number one is that whatever we are given, be it in terms of our wealth or money or time or skills, we are given as a trustee, as a caretaker. It's the due right of others. We are to spend it for the benefit of others. So volunteering is central foundation of the charity. The second is that we are not expected to judge or exclude another. We are expected to connect humanity based on what makes us human, love, compassion, care, justice for everyone. And these two key principles remain at the foundation of the charity. And I continue to fight for the custody of my children sitting here and fighting the court battle in Pakistan, got them reunited with me after eight years. My eldest is now 25 years old. My younger one is now 23 years old and my son youngest is now 21 years old. I have got one bonus daughter, 24-year-old from my current husband, and we have got a joint daughter, seven-year-old, our youngest. So right now, what I realized when I got them reunited with me, that eight years is a long time, right? I'm still trying to get to know them. I'm not a mother to them anymore. I'm still trying to bridge the gap. But what I got out of those eight years of struggle and practically all my lifelong struggle is my lifelong mission of really connecting the communities together so that no one feels isolated. No mother has to go through what I went through. So that's my basic why behind the charity. You're mute. I'm sorry. I wanted to be into what you're saying, so I had to mute myself. I'm just honestly, my feeling is just listening to you because from a mother's standpoint, being away from your children, fighting a marriage that broke, and now you're fighting to get your kids back, and now the system is disappointing you as a mother. The system is disappointing you as a woman, and you being a very powerful woman to be one of 25 among the men being the senior vice president of a bank, like, already, society sometimes cut off certain roles so that these are like male-dominated spaces, you know? So just you moving, you being in that very high seat and still trying to keep the unit of your family together and going through what any woman would go through irrespective of how educated she is because it's not only educated women that convert to failed marriages. It's not only uneducated women that convert to failed marriages. It's just you are strong. You are resilient. You are powerful just beyond what you even think, right? And then now coming out of that situation and also saying, you know what? Okay, the problem is the isolation in the community. You're not selfish, right? You're looking at your experience to say, this is a fundamental problem. This is why, you know, it took me so long to get my kids. This is why this thing went the way it went. This is why X, Y, Z happened the way it did because something fundamentally is wrong somewhere. And then you are just leaving your country, running away from your life and trying to fight for your kids later on and still have the courage to say, you know what? Irrespective of where I find myself, this is a universal problem and I need to start to fix it. Like, I don't know how much attitude you get every day but I salute you for it, okay? You deserve that, okay? And guys, we'll just take a very short commercial break and be right back so we can jump right into the conversation with Ms. Schatz. So we can get, because I am all in my feelings right now, okay? See you soon. Welcome back, guys. Thank you so much, Ms. Schatz, for sharing your story. Now, I want to understand, right, the Uber of volunteering. Why did you name it this? Yes, because if you look around the world today, right, like I mentioned, there are two basic, basic problems. One is that all of us as human beings are boxed in certain boxes based on our background, be it in terms of our religion or geographical conditions or gender or views or beliefs, whatever the discriminatory box is. So that is one reality. And the quickest way of shacking all these discriminatory boxes is through doing volunteering the right way. Are you there, Tammy? Yes, I'm right there. Oh, okay. Okay, I thought of you last year. So in terms of Uber volunteering, the basic idea is to celebrate both giving and receiving because the societal taboo right now does not let people ask for help and support from their neighbors. It's a hesitation. Whereas if you look at the basic concept, the science of generosity, giving is nothing without the receiving. You do not complete the loop if you do not celebrate giving as much as receiving. So both sides of the equation needs to be celebrated, needs to be encouraged, needs to be nurtured. And the idea is to connect people with each other through volunteering, because if you look around the world today, we are meeting people left, right and center all through and through, right? But those socializations, those connections are so much at the superficial level. You can go deeper only when, A, you ask for help. And B, you give, you impact, you directly impact. And that's why I call it Uber of volunteering. And just on a side note, based on what you were saying before the break in terms of me being a strong and a fearless person, I have not been like this from before. I was a docile, I was a submissive, really submissive sort of a person who followed the society norm. I'm a rebel. I'm a rebel right now. But it took me years and years and years of internal work, years and years of transformation from where I was to where I am right now. So I used to go through right in the morning, and this is something that I still do today. I go in front of the mirror and I say, you've got this, Shabnam. You've got this. You can do it. This is something that's in you. You've done it. So even right now, I have a vision of the charity to become, in 10 years time, a multi-million dollar charity with presence in over 100 countries. And I am going to make it happen. I know this for sure, because this is a franchise. You did that in Pakistan. You did that in Pakistan. This is happening. This is happening. For sure. This is such a heartwarming conversation. What would you say for young people who want to volunteer, who are looking to do it the right way? Yes. What are some things we can look out for? Yes, the basic idea when people go for volunteering, right? Or let's just talk about the concept of giving, right? If you talk about the concept of giving, whatever you give, the universe responds to you in a multitude of manners. That is a concept of abundance. In terms of our societal norms and societal practices, we approach everything with a mindset of scarcity and competition, right? What if we can change that towards the concept of abundance and collaborations and partnerships and joining hands? The idea of giving is giving in a manner whereby you are not expecting anything. And the magnitude does not matter. It could be as simple as giving somebody a smile. But if you are expecting, after giving a smile to a stranger, that the stranger should smile back at you, this is not giving. This is a trade. Right? So you are looking for a trade. I like that simple definition. A lot of times we are trading, but we are terming it as giving because we are looking to get something in return. Exactly. So, for instance, if you are volunteering with the mindset of, let's suppose I would volunteer for this organization because that way I'll build my resume or I'll build connections, this is a trade. You might not be paid through this. So when you're approaching giving, go for the giving in a truly act of kindness manner, whereby, A, you're giving to the universe. You're giving to help somebody. You're giving to impact somebody. Maybe making their day by just bringing a smile on their face. The magnitude does not matter. What matters is the thought behind. There should not be any expectation in return when it comes to giving. On the other hand, when you talk about receiving, right, people are hesitant to ask for help. People are hesitant to give other people the opportunity to give. And by doing that, they are blocking the flow. They are blocking the impact. The universe works in terms of completing the loop. So if I am a proponent of giving, I should be asking for help in a similar manner. I should have no hesitation in receiving as well. So if somebody gives me a compliment, I should say, thank you, thank you so much, rather than saying, no, it was not my doing. I'm just giving simple examples in terms of our day-to-day approach. We are good in giving, but we are not normally good in receiving. And that is what is the foundation of the volunteer world. So our neighbors really knocking the door at our next-door neighbor and asking for help is the culture that I want to promote through the volunteer organization. Guys, thank you so much, Ms. Schatz, for educating us. If you want to learn more about how you can volunteer well or the overall volunteering, definitely check out the website volunteerworld.org and follow Ms. Schatz and her entire journey. You can learn from there. You can understand how you can get involved directly with your community and feel that joy of giving, feel that joy of sacrificing your time to impact other people. You can literally just inspire or just dip yourself into that. It's been a very inspiring conversation. Thank you so much. It's been so inspiring talking to you. Just looking at where you're from, your resilience, your grit, you're not giving up, and you, with all the problems you've gone through, you finding out that, well, it's not your fault. It's society's fault. The fundamental issue is X, Y, Z. It's not you as a person, right? It's the system, and I need to fix that. You're such a selfless woman, and I think the world needs more people like you because your demonstration of leadership and your demonstration of how you want the world to be a better place is so amazing and inspiring. Thank you so much for coming, taking your time to chat with us and talk to us and chat with Timmy. It's been a very inspiring conversation. I am wholeheartedly grateful, and guys, I'm sure you got inspired through this conversation. Until the next episode, I want to say thanks, Ms. Schatz, and bye-bye, guys. Thank you so much for having me here. I truly enjoyed. Thank you. You're welcome.