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A family is starting a football podcast where they discuss various topics related to football. They talk about players in the Premier League, their favorite team Tottenham, and their own experiences playing football. They also discuss a recent game where their son's team won 9-2. The mother asks if it's possible to over-celebrate a goal. It's coming out! Is it on? OK. Next, we have 40-year-old Charlie, a.k.a. Mum, the lone female and non-football fan in the house. So you can imagine how thrilled she is at the prospect of doing a football podcast, alongside all the football she has to watch, play and listen to all week. Tell us about your football experience, Charlie. Mainly watching you guys play football and watching football themselves. OK, very good. Finally, my name's Dan, a.k.a. Dad, and I am also 40 years old, have I. I've been a massive football fan all my life, played football at a very much amateur level for most of it, and I'm clinging on to my footballing career, having started playing 11-a-side again a year ago. So, each week we will bring you some different segments and perspectives about the footballing world from our family point of view. Full disclosure, we're all Tottenham fans, so there might be a bit of Spurs bias at times. We'll bring you updates on how the kids' football's going, give you our take on the latest in Premier League, European and international football, and expose Charlie's absolute lack of knowledge, understanding and probably care about the footballing world, amongst many other things. So, without further ado, let's get on with it. First up, talking points of the week. Talking point number one, boys, is Cole Palmer. So, the 22-year-old Chelsea player scored four goals, again, in one match, the second time he's done it. And my question to you is, is he the best player in the Premier League right now? I don't think he is, because Harlan is doing brilliant, and I think he's the best player in the Premier League right now. What about you, Will? I think Cole Palmer's not better than Harlan, but he is very good. What, so would you say he's second best? He's second best. We both say he's second best. What do you think, Mummy? Yeah, he's very good. I don't know. Yes, he seems very good. If you're doing a football podcast, you've got to have an opinion on football. I don't really know him. I'm sure he's very good. What do you mean you don't really know him? You don't need to know him personally. I've never really watched him play. We don't really watch Chelsea, so I've never really watched him play. But I'm sure he's very good, and he scored four goals this weekend. He is very good. What's his nickname? Cole Palmer! Cole Palmer! Cole Palmer! So you both think he's second best. Better than Foden? Maybe not Foden, because I was just about to say Foden is a teeny bit better. Better than Saka? Probably shorter than Saka. Better than Mickey Van Der Ven? I think Van Der Ven is the best player in the Premier League. No, I mean the best defender in the Premier League. But I think they both draw as well. OK. So Cole Palmer, where is he now? Is he down in about fifth? No, I'd say he's about third. About third. OK. All right. OK. Next talking point is yesterday, so it's Monday today. Yesterday, Tottenham were marvellous and glorious as they won 3-0 at Man Utd. Not going to talk about Tottenham just now, but Eric Ten Hag, should he get the sack? I think he should, because his team aren't playing that well at the moment, and I don't think they should lose 3-0 against Tottenham. What do you mean? What's wrong with Tottenham? Me too. Nothing. They played brilliant, but I think Man Utd should have got at least one goal in. Yeah, they should have. They should have. Do you think he should get the sack, Cole? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, this one's close. He's really good. He's really good. He's the fifth best player. Oh, no, we're talking about the Man Utd manager now. Do you think he should lose his job or not, Ollie? Yeah. And who would you get in instead? Who would you get? Buster Coghlan? No. No, I think no. I'm not. I think Arteta. You'd get Arteta in a Man Utd? Yeah. I want Arsenal to be bad for once. Right, OK. I want Arsenal to be bad for once too. OK. And talking point number three. Charlie, we'll come to you for this one first. So, in aforementioned Tottenham Man Utd game, Micky van der Ven, possibly our favourite family footballer right now, did an awesome run for the first goal and great assist. Do you think he's the fastest player on planet football? Yeah. Yeah. You do? Yeah. Is he the fastest player ever? I don't know. I don't know how fast he is. He seems very fast. He did a very good run. He did a very good shift. But I don't know if he's the fastest player ever. I know Mbappe is very fast as well. What do you think? I think Mbappe is the fastest player ever. And Oli, he's so fast and he dribbles and he's really good at dribbling. But I think van der Ven should be second. OK. After Mbappe? Yeah. Pretty sure van der Ven is faster than Mbappe. Pretty sure. Don't listen to him. You know I can still hear that, yeah? If you're whispering, you're right next to me around the table. If you do it too quiet, the listeners won't be able to hear you. Sorry, the listeners. Don't listen to him. Don't listen to that guy. OK. Moving on. Next up we have Oli's goal of the week. My goal of the week? Annabelle! Annabelle! Right. Oli, so what's your goal of the week this week? Goal of Bama! So tell us about the goal. What happened? It's brilliant and it went in the top corner. From a free kick. Free kick. It was brilliant. And what a goal. That is unbelievable. So it was a free kick, wasn't it, Oli? And it went right in the top corner. Do you know what they call that? They say in the postage stamp. Why do you think they might say that? I don't know. I've never heard of that before. Yeah, so the question is why do you think they might say that? Because it's in the top corner. It's a little top corner. Yes, and where do you see a stamp in the top corner? I don't know. It doesn't really look like a letter, does it? No, probably too old school then, doesn't it? What's a stamp? You know, it's the stamp that you'd have a queen on and that's got the king on. Yeah. It goes in the top, top corner, top right-hand corner of a letter. You know, on a letter. Yeah. Yeah. Is that a good fact? Is that interesting? I think that's interesting. Is that interesting? Is that interesting? Yeah, a little bit. Not that much. Okay. As good as I can hope for. Anything else to say about your goal for the week, Cole? No. Do you like Colm Farman's celebration? Yeah. What does he do? Yeah. Describe what he does. You've got to describe it to the listener. Listener. He does this. He stretches his arms, doesn't he? He crosses his arms and stretches his arms as if he's cold. What's his real name? Colm Farman. Yeah. What's his nickname? Colm Farman. Do you like him? Colm Farman. Do you like him? Yeah. Yeah? Okay. Okay. Next up, we have the older kid. Let's hear Jack's match report. Da-da-da-da-da-da. Da-da-da-da-da-da. I'm the boss. Da-da-da-da-da-da. Da-da-da-da-da-da. I'm the boss. Right, Jack, take it away. Hello, my name is Jack. I'll be talking about my football. The score went like this. 1-0 to the other team, 2-0 to the other team, 2-1 to the other team, 2-2. And then it went to 3-2 to us, 4-2 to us, 5-2 to us, 6-2 to us, 7-2 to us, 8-2 to us, and then 9-2 to us. On my team, Eric scored two goals. Well done, Eric. George scored a hat-trick. Well done, George. James scored one goal. Well done, James. Alfie scored one. Well done, Cat. And Raffy scored one. Well done, Raffy. And Ben scored an own goal. I think my team played brilliant. Now I'll pass it on to my mum. Okay, do you not want to talk any more about your game? Maybe not. Is that your first win this season? Yes, it's my first win this season. I'm very proud of it. Ah, because you moved up two leagues, didn't you? So it's been some tough games. And I did two assists yesterday, so I'm very happy with that. You did two assists and you defended amazingly. Really good. Solid defending. And, yeah, you got your first win, which was great. Hooray! It's on to my mum now. Hang on. Who do you think was man of the match? I think George should have been man of the match, and he was. He was absolutely outstanding. What do you think he did? What did he do well? What did he do the best? He did some really good dribbling. He did some really good shots on goal. And I just think he was amazing. He was. He's got very good feet, hasn't he, George? Yes. Very skillful. And he did some brilliant tackles as well. He's a very strong boy. And the coach was your new headteacher, wasn't it, for the opposition? So that was a bit. Don't say whose name it is. You can say it into the microphone. At school, he said I was brilliant and I should have got man of the match. Oh, did he? That's so kind. What did you say? I said thank you very much. What should I say thank you? What did you say? Happy birthday. I did not say happy birthday. Why would I say happy birthday to him? It's not even his birthday. Well, we don't know, do we? We don't know that. Yes, could have been. And we haven't done a podcast for two weeks. I know that this is for the first one, but we didn't record a demo two weeks ago. The week before, you lost 3-1, didn't you? Yes. But what happened? Who got our goal? He's lying. It was 2-1. No, it was 3-1. It was 3-1. They scored at the very end. But who got the goal? I scored the goal for my team. The first goal of the whole season. For you. Yeah, because you used to play up front, didn't you? And you scored loads of goals. I scored 22 that season. Yes. I was very happy. I scored four in my last match. It was 4-4. And you are on fire at the minute. You're playing so well. I'm on fire. So well. Unbelievable. I'm on fire. Right. Well done. Thanks, Jack. Thanks for the match report. Next up, we have... Poo Poo Hold Mummy. Poo Poo Hold Mummy. We have Mummy's question. My question of the week is... My question of the week is... Can you over-celebrate? Sometimes you can. If you score in the... If there's ten minutes of extra time... and they score in the 90-90 minutes... to win the game for your team... you would kind of go over-excited... and celebrate too much. Probably punch the flag and get them. But do you get green light for that? So I know you've got your shirt off... but can you spend as long as you want to celebrating? Is there a time limit? I don't know. I think you can spend as long as you want. But if you spend as long as you want... they'll just start playing again without you. Or maybe not. Or there'd just be lots of minutes of extra time. How do you mean the question? How do you mean the question? Do you mean morally? Do you mean how much should they celebrate? Or do you mean, like, legally? Yeah, within football, how much are you allowed to celebrate? I don't think there is a set amount of... Ollie, what did we say? I don't think there is a set amount of time... in which you can celebrate. But if you took too long, then the referee would just get you back. Right, OK. You're not allowed to go into the crowd. You're not allowed to take your shirt off. And would you get to see yellow cards, though? Has anyone ever been sent off? Yeah, so sometimes players have taken their shirt off... and they've already been on a yellow card... and then they score, and then they get sent off. Yes, has anyone been sent off for a too wild celebration? I'm sure they have at some point, somewhere, but I don't know about it. And what's your favourite celebration of all time? Oh, favourite celebration of all time. Oh, good question. I'm not massively into my celebration. Some people love it, particularly kids love it. Don't you, Jack? I think Mbappé is the best of all time... because he does lots of very good celebrations.