Episode 1

The speaker discusses his decision to get a gun due to concerns about the state of the world and the potential for chaos and violence. He admits to knowing little about guns and feeling nervous about going to the gun store. He also discusses the importance of being honest and open about his lack of knowledge when talking to the salesperson. He mentions the need for a safe to store the gun and considers getting one for a pistol first and then later for a shotgun. He emphasizes the urgency of getting a gun before things potentially become chaotic. Welcome, buddy. How's it going today? What's going on, dude? You know, the usual weird week that we typically have. What's happening with you? I haven't talked to you for a few days. Yeah, just, you know, doing the dad thing. 46 year old dad thing. That never stops. Yeah, I am a never been a gun guy, but I'm thinking about getting a gun. I went and got my firearm safety card the other day, so that was interesting. I went in there with no studying, which was classic me. Something super important and didn't really give two bleeps about taking it seriously. I did pass, though. I wasn't as good as you, was only missing one. I think I missed like four. I think I barely squeaked, and you could miss like seven. I think I missed like five or four or five or something like that, but I told the lady I was well, it's a passing grade. That's all that matters. That's a pretty common sense test, so that's good that you had common sense on the issue. Yeah, the ones I did miss were a little more like rule based. There was a few, because I think that's the thing. They want you to pass kind of a thing, too, so it's like they're going to give you the majority of them as common sense, but then they do want to make it a little serious and give you like the actual rule based questions, as well, and I do take it seriously. I'm not like just going into it like, yay, and just like doing Yosemite Sam's plan. I'm doing like just running up and down the street, firing random shots up into the air, hoping it doesn't hit houses, but I just was like, man, I just want to get this done, because basically like I know nothing about guns, and my bipolar, my anxiety was super high. Make sure you don't talk about mental illness when you're gun shopping. It was very hard not to, and to be honest, like, I don't see how they couldn't see it like all over my face when I walked in. Just read it on you? Just radiating mental illness right there when I walked in. Aren't there red flag laws to prevent that purchase? I think there are. Alarms were immediately going off when I walked through the doors, the cameramen. Why are you even shopping for a gun at this point after going like decades with not even having one or probably even thinking about it? Yeah, there's a few reasons. I mean, worrying that, you know, the state of the world is obviously one. You know, it's a little chaotic. It's starting to slowly look like it's going to turn into the wild, wild west here really soon, and I need to make sure I have something besides a butter knife, you know, to protect my family, you know. Yep. It's just, you know, there's a lot going on. If it was just me, I'd go, you know, but I have like, you know, a daughter and a five foot one wife. She does know karate, but, you know, can't kick a bullet out of midair. This isn't the Matrix, dude. So, you know, so I just wanted to kind of be prepared, and before they just, especially with all the border situation that's going on right now, and them just finally being like, you know, we've got to shut things down, possibly cartels coming in, like our whole country becoming just, like I said, almost just like different gangs almost and sectioned off. It's like I've got to have something, you know, to kind of at least protect them. Clearly I'm not going to load up and just have like, you know, turn into like Schwarzenegger and Predator or Commando or anything like that, but I definitely need to have something just for my home protection in case somebody does try to get stupid and, you know. Yeah, well, the criminals aren't even getting prosecuted, let alone put in jail. So it's at this point more important than ever that you're armed to the teeth to defend your own home. Yeah, and if the dollar crashes, there's all this stuff coming up that there's a possibility like, I don't know what things are going to cost, I don't know if you'll have accessibility, like I don't know, California is so weird with its, you know, laws in general, like I don't even know what's going on. So I just need to have it, and then worst case, I have it, and, you know. Do you think at some point, because criminals don't get prosecuted, that there's going to be, like, will we return to vigilante justice at some point? Oh, I think about that all the time. I think that's the only way this is going to end up happening. I think in this century, that is guaranteed to happen. But like, how soon is the concern? Is it going to happen this decade? I mean, we're at a point where people are sick of criminals running the show. We're seeing all the smash and grabs, the mob, burglaries, everything that's happening, and no one's getting arrested for this. Well, and we talked about the other day with the migrant crosses, like people just coming over, no documentation, nobody knowing anybody. There's all these people coming into the country, there's nothing to hold them accountable. They're basically like ghosts. So if they have any kind of evil in their heart at all, they can pretty much just act it out, and nobody's even going to know who they are. They can just kind of fade into the crowd like Kaiser Sosa. So that's super scary. I'm just waiting for the sexual assaults to start to happen. I heard there's a couple incidences in New York where they were, you know, like, basically, they sexually assaulted a couple women, and nobody knows who the heck they are. They're just under the radar. Do whatever you want to do. So that's one of my main things. But just going into a gun, getting back to the actual gun store in general, it's like, I'm just walking in there and it's just like, Jesus, I know nothing about guns. Yeah, so I bought one gun in my life, and that was a few years ago. But yeah, it's a super weird experience when you're not confident about it. So what was going through your mind as you're walking in there to do your test and shop around and all that? How am I going to pretend to look like I know what I'm doing? Do you feel like you have to do that? I kind of did. I kind of felt like I was back in high school, like I was trying to show out, dude, or just hiding who I really am on the inside. I'm literally just sitting over there, and I'm just looking at all these dudes, and they're just talking all this jargon, and I'm like, yeah. I'm just in my head. I'm just shaking my head back up and down. It's like, huh? And there are the guys breaking it down. This skinny dude with no muscles is just working shotties. I'm like, Jesus, those look heavy. And this guy, I got... Single arm pumpy. I got a single arm pump, and I was all, sweet Lord, these guys are super confident. I've seen blades, and I'm seeing holsters, and I'm like, I have no idea where the hell I'm... This all looks super cool. It was mixed emotions, because I was like, I want all of this. I don't know how to operate it. I don't know what to do with it, but they all... My inner child came out playing Cowboys and Indians, or G.I. Joes. Oh, yeah. I want to be Flint, dude. You guys want to be bulletproof vests around here, too? Camouflage. Gun bros are kind of weird, the guys that are super into it. Psychological problems, I think, they're a little bit. They're too into it, I think. No, it's scary. When I say psychological, because I clearly have tons of psychological problems, but to be that into it, it's not strictly for hunting. It's like you're wanting to use... You don't spend thousands of dollars on this stuff to never want to use it. Oh, yeah. They're just skitching to pull the trigger. Oh, I think so. Pun intended, yeah. Do you confess your ignorance when you go talk to the guy at the counter? Ultimately, if they're a legit sales guy, they should be there to educate you. Yeah. It kind of never feels that way at the gun shop, in my experience. I'm not to that point yet. I'm going to be shopping next week. That's how I'm looking at it. I'm not going to go in there and act a fool and try to act like I know a bunch of crazy stuff that I don't. I'm basically just going to go in there and go, look, my peepee's small. Can you make it bigger? That's basically how I'm going to roll in there. Hopefully, they'll respect that I have a small peepee when I go in there, and then they'll make it grow. I think I'm just going to go in with the honesty approach. It really is an important purchase, and I really do want to learn about it. To sit around and act like I know it, it's not going to do me a very good service. I need to go in there and just put ego aside and not care if bro guy in the back is chuckling with his other hunting buddy, and they're going to be out snuggling together under a tarp trying to kill a mallard later or not and talking about me. I've just got to go with it and be like, all right, I'll never see these bro dudes again, gun bros again. Right, exactly. Ultimately, what you're trying to do is get the information to make the purchase that's right for you, so you've got to just give up your ego a little bit to make that happen. Yeah, for sure. I'm looking forward to getting it, but I talked to your brother about it, and he made a good point. I need to have a safe first. There's more purchasing than just the guns, and I'm aware of that. I've thought about that, but I also wanted to jump, because it's all expensive equipment. I don't really want to have a safe and then be like, oh, in another month or two I can go get the guns. The whole point is I want to get the guns now before, if I keep them in a safe place, if I'm wanting to get two guns, I'm wanting to get a pistol and I'm wanting to get a shotgun, so I'm going to need two different kinds of safes. Maybe if I just get one for the pistol and then get the shotgun later, maybe get the pistol and the safe for the pistol, and then later get the shotgun with the safe for the shotgun. I really want to get the gun pretty soon before things get, like I said, who knows. Before there's chaos in the streets. Yeah, before there's chaos. I don't think we're too far away from that. When I got the shotgun a few years ago, I looked for a safe, and I wanted something that goes in the wall, because Mrs. Budke is very tight on space over here, so a huge thing sitting on the floor wasn't going to work. It was shockingly hard to find something that goes in the wall. I eventually did, but it was like a needle in a haystack trying to find that. It's not the most heavy-duty safe, but it's keyed and it's locked, and at least it's away from the kids, which is the main point of it. So, yeah, hopefully you can find something that works. Yeah, and in my head I'm like, I feel like I'm going to be a bullet hoarder. I'm just going to be like, you know how we used to do with baseball cards, just go buy packs and stuff? I think it was like paycheck, I'm just going to get a bunch of bullets, maybe get some magazines, and just tape them around my body like John Wick. Never actually shoot, but just collect the ammunition and store it up. Yeah, exactly. I feel like I'm going to be that guy. I was thinking about it, I want to have just mags ready. I don't have time, I think this is like a Bill Burskis, I can't run around the bed while the criminal is chasing me. Like, hold on a second. Right, trying to load, yeah. Like, hold on, I've got to get into my safe here and assemble my gun. It's like, so I kind of want to just have, or like, if you do suck, which, I mean, I've gone to the range once, and I wasn't terrible, but that wasn't in a heat of the moment situation. So, if I do start missing targets, I don't want to be like, oh, sorry guys, hit the mic, got too excited. I don't want to be like, oh, I'm down to two bullets now, this is it. I better just have, if I have them all taped around my torso, then I can just be like, oh yeah, I've still got about 90 more to go here, and just pop the mag and put another one in. So, I think I'm going to be a bullet guy. Yeah, it makes sense, but at least you'll be ready if anything ever goes down. Yeah. So, on that note, speaking of dangerous situations and places where guns might be warranted, we've got the fair coming up. So, I went to the Madera Fair two weeks ago, and that place is a crap show, the most low-budget fair that you can imagine. But I saw a band I wanted to see, which was all worth it. Madera people are fine, it was just the show. Sure. So, Fresno Fair, in my opinion, not much better. Is that something you're planning to hit this year? Do you ever go? Do you want to go? No. I think the last time I went was like three or four years ago. It's just, you know, the rides are awful. I mean, my daughter, she's getting up there in age, so she can ride them all, but they're all weak now. And the ones that might put a little extra adrenaline in your aorta probably aren't the safest to be putting my daughter on anyways. Well, have you seen all those videos of rides cracking and tipping over and all that stuff? Or like aggressive hair pulling. It's like something off of like P-Hub, dude. How'd you know? All of a sudden, you're just like, yeah. She thought I was going on the Ferris wheel. All of a sudden, you're just getting drug around like you're a cavewoman, you know, like because your hair is caught up. Yeah, right. Your scalp's like you're part of a Navajo tribe. But, yeah, no. I have no plans on going. I'll use your terminology. The missus is going to go through her work, so she'll get her jollies off that way. And, you know, if she wants to, you know, get the classic corn dog or whatever, that's really the whole selling point. I don't drink anymore. And I used to hate going to the fair for that anyways because it's like you're paying $12 for, you know, foam. And then you're like, you know, 60 to 80 deep on beers, you know, about 30 minutes in. Yeah. What's the most expensive beer you ever paid for? Ooh, well, you know me. I'm not into the uppity beers. So I think the most expensive Coors Light I've ever paid for was probably I'd be like 12 to 15. Man, where was that? Concert. Yeah. At the Dodgers game, I paid $16 for a can. Ooh. That was brutal. Yeah, that's rough. Yeah. Was it at least like a tall boy? I think so. But still I'm not sure if that makes it justified. I'm not justifying it at all. I'm just hoping you got a little extra than just a little baby guy. Yeah. So, okay, no beer, no fair. What do you have? Are you going to make the rounds at the Fresno Fair? I can't stand that place. It's not safe for my kids to be there. And there's just nothing fun for me there. We're not doing any rides. The pigsties, I guess, are entertaining for a few minutes, but I don't want to go to the horse races. It takes forever for a race to actually start, and then it lasts like 30 seconds. So the only reason I would go is for the concerts, which have been decent in the past. But I'm looking at the lineup this year. So on one night, the headliner is war. So you're going to see like 75-year-old dudes in a band that doesn't warrant them touring at this point. It's not Pink Floyd. It's not Paul McCartney. It's not the Stones even. It's not going to have Eric Burden in it either. No, no Eric Burden. This is war without Eric Burden. And they will be playing Low Rider at least eight times. Opening and closing. Different remixes of Low Rider. But then it gets worse from there. So on the same show, same night, Canned Heat is opening. You said it was a bad band. I didn't know it was a bad band. That band was just freaking weird and annoying in their heyday. So can you imagine seeing those fat rednecks play at this point? So far you have different demographics for different nationalities. So like extreme demographics. Maybe this could bring the community together. I was thinking or it could just be the start of that Wild Wild West we were talking about. The riot starts now. All right. So get this. Adding a third demographic. So opening for Canned Heat, opening for war is Jimmy J.J. Walker. So make sense of that. So they are trying to hit all of us. I guess. So you have the African-American community, the Hispanic community, and the white trash community. So that's amazing, dude. Yeah. They're bringing people together. Maybe so. So if that's the highlight of the fair, then I can assure you I'm not going. I am super intrigued to hear that stand-up routine with Jimmy Walker. Because he's not going to just go up there for an hour and say, dynamite. He's literally going to come out with material. So you close with dynamite? Or is that throughout the show? I would just have him MC and then he's all on next. We have war. Dynamite. And then that way he gets his dynamite in. And then it's not awkward for him to do that for an hour. And then people start throwing stuff. Yeah. But I think he's doing an actual routine. What you're saying would actually make better sense. But yeah. So I'm looking at this lineup and I'm like, okay, 75-year-old dudes playing war songs. No. Canned Heat. They were always trash. Jimmy Walker. So the guy's been a known comedian for 50 years. And, I mean, I haven't seen him in years, but back in his, quote, heyday, we obviously would run across him. Did you ever find him funny at all? No, not at all. I felt sad for him, actually. He was just forcing all the stereotypical stuff that infuriates African-Americans. And he was just basically put out to show. There was no big issues with this kind of stuff back in the day. Nowadays, you put that out, there'd be major stuff. And to be honest, that kind of stuff, I think it should have been pulled off because it wasn't funny, mainly. That's the most offensive part about it. It really is. And it's tough because it was offensive because it was like a bunch of just downplaying intellect on his character. But just as offensive was his comedy. Right. And that's always the most offensive thing. Like, there's some guys that say some rude stuff, and some of it I'll laugh at. Some of it I don't think is funny. But the most offensive thing about comedians is when they're not funny. Yeah. And especially when they're not funny and they're huge in the public opinion and sell out shows all the time. So, you know, JJ's come into Fresno. I also saw that Gabriel Iglesias is coming to Save Mart Center. That's a 20,000-seat state-of-the-art venue. And he's probably sold out, sad to say. I would guess. Has that guy ever made you laugh? No. There's just certain people. It's kind of like a good song. You just know right away if that song's going to be good. People who really understand music or understand comedy will understand if that's going to be good. You listen to Gabriel Iglesias. You just listen to the first 30 seconds, y'all. This is going to be one of the trashiest sets I've ever heard. Same with Jeff Dunham. Same with all those redneck comedy guys. You just know. Ron Wyatt's never made you roll? No. Like his veneers sticking out while he's holding that whiskey, shaking. And that raspy, marred shot voice. No, he's never made me laugh. It's just based off of stereotypical stuff. It's a one-joke routine, basically. They just change the words in it, but it's all the same joke. They have one for each. Not to turn this into a race right off the bat, but each nationality has one of those comedians that just basically take all the stereotypical stuff from that nationality. Or an African-American, they'll have Cat Williams kind of a guy. Or I'm sure I can come up with somebody else that's just as terrible as Gabriel Iglesias is for Hispanics. And just like how Ron Wyatt is and Larry the Cable guy is for whites. Asian guys, I really don't know who that would be. Margaret Cho. Margaret Cho, yeah. She's hitting two different kinds of genres. Demographics, I should say. But, yeah, you just get infuriated when you listen to this. It's like, my God. I think you get most infuriated because you're infuriated at the people that go. I'm not mad at the actual comedians. It's not their fault they're horrible. No, it's not. They're just going out there. It's your fault for putting money in their pocket. Right. And perpetuating them being everywhere, every TV show and movies. So here's another one, Kevin Hart. Has Kevin Hart ever made you laugh? That's a better one than who I was thinking Cat was. I think Kevin Hart. And people love that guy. He's huge. He's on commercials. He's in movies. He's got the biggest specials. And I've literally never laughed at his stuff. No, he's a Shetland Pony version of Chris Tucker. They're like the same dudes, except it's just that they're different. Chris Tucker made me laugh sometimes, though. That's a huge difference. Yeah, I will say that. I have chuckled at least a couple times with Tucker. I've never chuckled at all with Kevin Hart. Yeah. All right, so here's a weird challenge. You said in Gabriel Iglesias, you can, in the first 30 seconds, realize how horrible it's going to be. I'm going to dial up a random first YouTube clip I find. Anything. And let's see how bad this is and see if you're right about 30 seconds of trash. Okay, and let's see how stereotypical it is. Okay, wow. That was a monstrosity. It's a, quote, comedy routine based on voices and questionable sexuality. I'm not sure what's happening in that clip. Yeah, it's all about just playing to stereotypes that aren't even the slightest bit funny or entertaining. No, and like just the crowd, once again, they proved my point of just clapping like the sheep that they are and just like really just inflating this ego that should not be inflated anymore. And, you know, it was just so bad. It's one of those things where it just leaves you speechless. Like there's, you know, I felt like I laughed, but it wasn't a good laugh. It was one of those where, like when I'm having a fight with the missus or something, like I start to laugh because I go insane. Just like his comedy was so unfunny, I was like laughing because I was going insane. My brain shuts down because it doesn't, it can't do anything but shut down. Like right now I'm even, I'm feeling like he's just jacked with my whole podcast vibe right now because that comedy has just got me so domed. It's, yeah, the awkward laughter is only to maintain your last bit of sanity as you're watching that and just try to cope and get through it. Yeah, and it was like he did everything that I was expecting. The classic stereotype, like all of it, absolutely ridiculous. Like no Cubans getting stabbed or no Cubans stabbing anybody over, you know, who goes up and asks people like what their nationality, are you Cuban? Nobody does that. And it's one thing, it's just none of it is funny. It's just the way he pieced it together, it's just ways to do noises and sounds and languages and just, once again, feeding off the stereotypes of his people. And it's super insulting to his audience that he believes, and clearly he's right actually, that that's going to get a laugh. Yeah. Because that's like the lowest form of comedy is just making noises and doing bad voices. Basically doing like some sort of Chihuahua, like going old school Taco Bell stuff. It's really almost as insulting when they put the Chihuahua as the mascot for Taco Bell back in the day. He's insulting his entire race and they're sitting there laughing it up and laughing and clapping and paying him money to do it. Right, and that's the thing that you made the point on earlier is that the audience is really the problem. They're the ones that are keeping this guy employed and doing these horrendous routines. And it's just not, like we said, it's an all, you know, Larry the Cable Guy, Ron White, Kevin Hart, all these dudes are like the same guy. They're just the same kind of material. Like it's just, they feed off their demographic and they, even their demographic's the one that's, they're putting the demographic down and they're the ones that are lining their pockets. Yeah, exactly. It's just embarrassing. Yeah, so you mentioned some of those guys there and earlier, but you also mentioned Jeff Dunham earlier. So I'm going to cue up something to play from him and we'll see how hilarious this is. Yeah, this is going to be awesome. Holy smokes, dude. This is an audio podcast, but like if this was a visual podcast, you would just see some looks on our faces. You're like beet red right now after watching that. I'm literally, my rosacea is at another level. It's gone to like a, yeah, a lava level at this point. It's a finger tapping set. It's one of those where you like, you eyebrow raise after every supposed punchline. You're just like, you cringe multiple times. The jokes are absolutely awful. It's not even that they're not funny. It's that they're, they're like negatively funny. They're like in the reverse of what a joke would be. It's so bad. Since it's not, since it is an audio, he's holding a puppet of like. He's assaulting a Muppet. Yeah, and the Muppet has like, it's like a, like a hillbilly Muppet, whatever you want to call it. And he's, this is why he did the whole inbred small world. It's a small world joke. Like that is an absolutely terrible joke. It made no sense. The arcade at Disneyland, who's seen an arcade at Disneyland? That doesn't make any sense. And on top of that, he's a terrible ventriloquist. So he is supposed to be good at two things and he's good at none. And he makes so much money being horrible at life. And that's why, I mean, I can honestly say we had this discussion where who makes you the angriest? Like out of all the bad comedians that are successful. I, this Fluffy, and I don't even want, I want to call him E. Glacius. He's agitating as all, as all H. But Dunham is, he just takes the cake. He's literally one of the, he's the thing that drives me nuts. It makes me hate comedy. It makes me hate speaking. It makes me hate hearing. It just makes me hate everything. Like he is that kind of a guy. Oh, it's terrible. And that smug smile he has after every horrible joke. And all those puppets in Vegas who are not up, you know, sitting on his hand. The ones that are out in the audience. They are, they deserve everything. I hope they just crap out on every slot they pull on. I hope they lose, I hope they lose their life savings. I just, everything. Like you do not deserve to be there. I don't, I just, I'm flustered. I can tell. Yeah, it's upsetting to watch that. And you think about this guy selling out arenas. This guy's a multi-millionaire by doing the absolute lowest form of unfunny comedy. It's because he has different Muppets. That's it. Like he has a Bin Laden Muppet. He has Okie Muppets. He has old Muppets. He has mummy Muppets. That's all it takes apparently in our regressed society at this point. It's just show me a different Muppet and I'll laugh. But what's crazy is like Vegas does have a very good ventriloquist. And I mean, and his name's Terry Faith. The guy actually can sing. He doesn't move his mouth. And he's singing like really good. Like if he was just to sing, you'd be like, this guy's amazing. This is weird when you've gotten so passionate about ventriloquism. I did not expect to hear that. You just struck a nerve with me, dude. Clearly. I've never seen you this upset. No, this is finally. Maybe this is why I wanted to do the podcast just so I could talk about Terry Faither and Jeff Dunham's success. No, I just don't get it. Clearly. And now that I've got you upset, I want to keep you upset because this is more entertaining for me. But I saw something, a story in the news that I know has to upset you because I know this is one of your pet peeves. And that is the lack of courtesy from people walking through the door that you took the time and effort to hold open for them. Oh, yeah. So tell me about that because I've heard you rant on that many times. Well, it got me so clustered, I can't. I'm just so, yeah, it's easily the top. If I sit there and go out of my way to open a door for you, I'm not the doorman. I'm not your butler. I'm not Morgan Freeman. I need you to at least acknowledge. You don't have to even say thank you. Just be like, give me the nod or give me the thanks. I'll even take a thumbs up. Just give me a thumbs up. Or even like eye contact, like the knowing glance. Is that enough? Yeah, I'll take a smirk with an eye glance or anything. But when you just walk in stone face, bitter bee face, resting bee face, and you just act like. It's almost like they act like it's rude that you did that for them. Like they're put off that you held the door for them. Yeah, because now they might have to acknowledge a human being positively. Like they have to say the words thank you possibly. That agitates them. That's upsetting to some people. But to me, I think it's more just like they feel like they're owed it. And it really pisses me off when a guy. Because usually guys will do it for the women. That's just old school style. But when you do it for a guy, like I try to be like gender neutral or whatever you want to call it. When it comes to opening doors. So I don't want to be accused of just being a one-sided door man. But when you do it for a guy, it's especially agitating when they don't acknowledge it. Because now you go into like, okay, so now I just didn't have to do that for you because I'm not your boyfriend. And now I'm kind of looking like I am your boyfriend because you're not even giving me the acknowledgement. Like I'm your bee now because I just opened the door. It was expected. Yeah. All right. So back to this story that your anger reminded me of because I knew you would be very interested in this. There's a story in the New York Post that a guy in Brooklyn held the door open for another dude just as you were talking about. And the guy walking through didn't bother to say thank you. So as I'm sure you've been tempted to do many times, the door holder went up to the guy and said, hey, you didn't say thank you when I did that for you. Exactly. Which, you know, I'm not sure what he thought was going to come out of this. But what ended up happening was that resulted in a confrontation that resulted in the door holder getting stabbed and dying. Yeah. And my first reaction was the gall that this guy had to not say thank you. Like the fact that he was – You left a key part of that story out because I remember that story. He was like – he told the guy, he's all, hey, I opened the door for you. He's all, you didn't even say thank you. He's all – the guy's all, I didn't ask you to. That was the one that sent me over the top. I was like, I didn't ask you to? I was like, I literally lost it. I was all, that guy died a great death in my eyes because he – It was straight up a noble death. Yeah, he led you to the fall, fighting the grief. He took on the bear. But it's all right because you're fighting for something honorable. Like, that guy deserved to come out. That's why society blows. When you don't call somebody out for that kind of stuff, that's not everyday normal behavior. A lot of people don't have those manners. And that's how society breaks down when you just – people quit doing the little things like that. So when I saw that, yes, it's sad that that guy ended up dying over something. And it might have been he should have just kept his mouth shut. But I can't blame him for doing something. He's just trying to educate somebody into being a better human being so he can teach that to somebody else and possibly create this kind of like Xanadu down the road as long as he keeps spewing out the thank yous when you walk through the door. He refused to do that, and he was an animal, just like all people are who don't say thank you when somebody opens the door for them. And unfortunately, this great human being suffered for it. But he's living a great life in heaven. And the stab wounds are, I guess, the ideal. Hopefully St. Peter opened the door for him. Oh, boy, no. Yeah, so what I'm hearing here is that, yeah, it's unfortunate he died. But the most upsetting part of the story was he didn't get a thank you. And that is sad, but it's true. I have to say it's super sad, but it's very true. That should never be allowed. People should not take that crap. I mean, I'm just telling you that right now. You're nice enough to open a door. And I don't open up doors to get the pat on the back. I just do it to be kind. Right, because clearly you can see the reflection of the door or your peripheral vision or whatever. There's a person that's like three seconds behind you. So you're not going to slam the door in their face. Yeah, and then when it's just like I stopped my day for a total stranger, I want to get in that store just as bad as dude or chick does. And I'm allowing you to beat me, and I'm opening the door for you to do it, and you don't even give me a thank you. I'm not asking for a reach around. I'm asking for a thank you, dude, and you're not even doing that. You're not saying anything. So, no, stabbing is terrible. Murder is terrible. But not saying thank you when you're supposed to say thank you is right up there, almost equivalent to it. Yeah, it is very annoying, and I've been through that myself. It's irritating. And, again, I don't even need a thank you, as you said. I just need some freaking acknowledgment that that was a decent thing to do. But, yeah, when people act put off or irritated that you held the door for them, that's just unacceptable. And speaking of pet peeves, I want to hear what your top pet peeve is because that's clearly probably my top. So what are your top pet peeves? I don't think mine have ever resulted in anyone getting sad, so I'm not sure if they can compete with that. Life's a long journey. Yeah, I mean, eventually we'll see everything, right? But my real irritation is, like, when people don't bother to – you know, I worked in retail for a long time, so I wore a name tag even though I was a manager. The people that address you as guy, as pal, as buddy. Chief. As chief. Those are never – Champ. Right. It's all belittling, and you can tell in the tone of voice that you know exactly what they mean. It's not an endearing term. There's always a guy doing it, too. There's always a guy, right. There's always a guy trying to, like, establish dominance. Right. Yeah, establish dominance. That's exactly what it is, and it's very upsetting especially when you're in a professional setting and you've got a job to do. Your chances to retaliate are somewhat limited. Yeah, you're right. Do I deserve the – is this a stabbing-worthy situation here? Should I call this guy out on it, or should I just keep my job? Like, yeah, the jobs you had were very – I'm not going to name your jobs, but they were very well-paying jobs, and so it's like some of the stuff you had to put up with, like, you had to sit there as a grown man being called guy as a manager of some of these high-paying jobs, and, like, you have to just sit there because he's a customer and sit there and kind of take it and seize on the inside and just wait for you to talk to me or have a chance to text me so you could just vent to me. And I'm sitting here laughing, so I'm not helping the situation out at all, and I'm like, dude, why do you always get these guys calling you guy or these guys calling you buddy? Like, something on my face just drew them to say that every time. Yeah, and they always know. It's like, for whatever reason, they want to pick a fight with you mentally because that's all it is. It's like they're just – they're like, I'm coming after this guy. I feel like calling him guy. I feel like calling him champ. I feel like calling him chief. But on the – kind of spinning this, but you did have a nice encounter with a friendly fellow at Starbucks the other day that was anti-guy, anti-buddy. He wanted to be one of your buddies. Kind of a buddy. For some reason, I attract the weirdest interactions. Well, you do too. You get some weird stuff, but mine are just on a different level. Over the last five years, you've taken the cake, though. Yeah. So, yeah, I'm at Starbucks when I've gone too many times, and there is a transgender male-to-female that wasn't well done, I might say. I mean, there was no mistaking this was the 5 o'clock shadow and the bulge in the pants were clearly visible under that apron. Was the bulge growing at all? I'm afraid so because I have never – What about his bulge? Oh, well, I can't speak to that. But I've never had anyone at Starbucks take an interest in me like this guy did. Like you said, you weren't the only one thirsty in Starbucks. Oh, this guy was super thirsty, and he's got all the coffee in the world. He had the cream for it. So, yeah, he was – I ordered two coffees because I got one for one of my employees, and he wanted to know who it was for. And I'm not sure what he expected me to say, but no one at Starbucks has ever asked that, and I've ordered two coffees for Mrs. Budke and I a bazillion times. So, yeah, it's just weird when that kind of stuff happens. It's like what about me is giving off vibes that I'm into trannies, that I might want to shift gears on them? I don't know what it is, but, yeah, it was a real strange interaction. Yeah, I mean, they both kind of have – and I know you're a tough dude, and you're no one I want to mess with, but it's like you get – like you said, it's like what vibe are you radiating to these people? Because there's almost a common – like there's commonalities there. It's just like the tranny is finding the femme in you, and then the bro guy is finding the femme in you. That's why he's calling you guy because he thinks you're almost like the opposite gender because he's calling you out for being – he's not scared of you. But the other guy, he wants to snuggle up with you. So it's just – So you started off kind of like complimenting me, and that quickly turned into I'm not sure what, but clearly I'm an effeminate person. A snuggly little fella. No, but that's what I'm saying. They've got your read wrong. Like both parties are very wrong, and if you weren't behind the desk, I know you for a fact, you would not put up with somebody calling you guy. Like you would call them out on that more than likely or at least come back with some nonsense of your own or some retort to put that fool in check. Yeah, for sure. Now, I don't know. I think you responded probably the same way you would on the street with the other guy because you're not going to go out bashing someone who thinks you have pretty eyes, in which you do. But see, now I'm turning into the guy. I just called you guy and said, hey, guy, you've got some pretty blue eyes. I think we need to turn off this recording right now. Do some snuggling of our own. We'll tell you about behind the scenes next time. We'll footage an anthology of our own. Podcast. Yeah, no, it's just very strange, and you get so many of those interactions. I just don't – I agree with you. I don't get it because I know who you are, and you're a pretty manly dude, to get the disrespect and then the love from the trans community at the same time. And it doesn't have to be trans. There doesn't have to be any transitioning. There doesn't have to be any lopping off of any kind of body parts. Like, it could just be, dude, male – just any male is attracted to you for the most part. Like, I mean, I've seen it multiple times. I've seen guys – whoa. Hold on a sec. Hold on a sec. I guess I should reword this. This took an ugly turn for me. Yeah, okay. Let me rewind. We might have to go back and edit this down the road. So let me rephrase this. What I was going to say is I've seen multiple different kinds of – we need to – Keep rolling. Let's hear this. No, we're not stopping it. We're not stopping. I've got to hear what – I'm trying to find a way to get back to where you're good for the ladies as well, and I'm really – I'm struggling right now because – Because you've never seen any evidence of it, clearly. False. We came back from – well, I wasn't there, actually. You told me she was flirting back with you. We were coming back from the Kings game, the Celtics-Kings game. We stopped at a late night at a Quickie Mart, and you walked in, and you're all – I think you might have been somewhere – The tweaker at the 1 a.m. Quickie Mart in Lodi – But you remembered how weird that was. That was like over six months ago, and yet that still resonates in your head. I forgot about it until you brought it up, but yeah, this was a tweaker. Everything about her screamed meth. I think she was barely holding on to her job at the 1 a.m. Quickie Mart, but yeah, she was super into me, so thank you for pointing that out. I just didn't want to leave this section of the podcast the way we were going to leave it, and I almost did by not knowing how to articulate your human interactions, but that was – So you started off by saying men assert their dominance on me. Okay, so I'm a bottom, clearly, and then the trannies are digging me, and then you try to recover, and the only example you have of female gender is the tweaker. Amy Winehouse. Amy Winehouse in Lodi, right, who sold me a Snickers. The funny thing is, though, real quick, I don't think the tranny considered you a bottom from what I was hearing in that story. I think he thought of you as an aggressive polar bear, and he needed that white action immediately. Oh, I think you might be right, and I don't ever want to find out. So enough about me and my transgender relationships. What's going on? Is there any other pet peeves that you've got that come to mind? I mean, I don't think anything could top holding the door open, but what else? I mean, nothing that's that aggressive. I mean, I guess I do. I was at the restaurant the other day, and this goes with people in the cabs, like those trucks. You see them all the time where you're behind them, and all of a sudden, like, you know, there's two people in the truck, but yet the female is cozied up right next to the guy when there's an open space in the passenger seat. Oh, yeah. Well, I can maybe sign off on that. Okay, fresh in love, whatever. Usually, they're like their pickup truck, so it's, you know, whatever. But anyways, that's a different story, and it doesn't really have any relevance. But going to the restaurant, sitting on the same side of the booth while you're eating is absolutely asinine. Yeah, that one gets me, too. Why are you doing cafeteria-style eating when you don't have to? Wouldn't you want to look at the person when you talk to them? Wouldn't you want the most room possible to eat? Why do you want to knock elbows with somebody for no reason? Right. Go ahead. No, go ahead. I mean, is it just plain insecurity in your relationship, or what's going on there? Because I've never sat on the same side of the booth as my woman. We've been together 20 years. It's never happened, and I find it completely strange, and I see it all too often. Oh, it's almost as cringy as a Dunham set. No, it's absolutely insecurity, and it's always a white guy. It's always a white guy, and he's the one that's clinging the most. So, yeah, his woman is running the show. Or he's just so scared that if he doesn't give her any sort of breathing room, that she's going to just go out with the waiter and leave him there with the bill. That's the vibe I get. It's like, I have to just be touching you, hugging on you, distracting you from all these other people in public that you might actually leave me for. That's the vibe that comes up, whether that's the truth or not. That's the thing you're exuding when you're doing that. You're so clingy. You're so needy. You're so insecure that you can't even just let her be for a second. You cannot even remotely not look at her or touch some part of her body or whisper into her lobes. It makes no sense, and it's disturbing, and it's absolutely infuriating. It's hard. I'm out eating with the missus or whatever, and I'll do a two o'clock. Two o'clock. She'll know exactly what I'm talking about. Two o'clock, there's just some ridiculousness happening in a booth. She's like, oh, stop. I was like, no, no, they need to stop. They're ruining my experience right now, Diane. They need to enjoy each other fully by looking. If you're that much in love with your lady, don't you want to look into her eyes? Not to see if she has a buildup in her ear canal. Exactly. Come on, man. Instead of feeding spaghetti, like biting Q-tips to clean out ear canals. I don't know. Jesus, dude. All this bad stuff, it really jacks with my brain, and it causes me to go haywire. Yeah. So anyways. Yeah, that's definitely. Those two are probably, if I had to pick two, those would be the top two. But not saying thank you because that directly involves me, that's top for me. I know you have another one, too. I don't like the tucked-in shirt with no belt. Correct? That one's bothered me for like 30 years. Very harmless. It's extremely harmless. It's like low-level stuff these days compared to what other trash is happening in society. But yeah, that's always upsetting. It has a weird look. It's irrationally upset me for 30 years when I see a tucked-in shirt with no belt. I just can't deal with it. Are they usually wearing loafers? It's usually khakis, right? It's khakis. There could be Birkenstocks with socks happening down below. The sandal socks. Right. Yeah, it's that kind of guy. I don't understand it at all. If you want to go casual and no belt, fine. Just let's pull the shirt out and let it flow. But yeah, I'm not sure what the look is there, and for some reason it just bothers me. A yuppie pony that's going on sometimes? Always. All right, well, I think we can't afford to be any more angry, so maybe we should transition to something that's... I've got a funny one for you. How about this? So, the other night, me and the lady were having intimates, and... Tell me more. And we're going at it, and the TV's been off for a while, and all of a sudden, we're like midway through, and all of a sudden, I just get this, like, out of my peripherals, I just see this glowing light that's just pulsating. Is it thumping? There was thumping, and there was pulsating. It's a different kind of thumping and pulsating. This was just a light that just kept going, just back, just... It was like a strobe light. And I'm like, what? So then I'm like, this isn't normal. And then, like, the missus is like, hey, what's going on over there? So she's even kind of... We're both kind of... We're still doing our thing, but we're also, like, cognizant of what's going on. So we're just like, dude, this is weird. And then I was all... And I just keep going, right? Because I'm not going to stop. But my thoughts are... Where this got weird is where my thoughts were going while I'm doing this. I'm just like, okay, am I getting spied on right now? Is somebody... Is this going to go on YouTube Live or something? You know, I'm like... Again, I'm like, okay, I really need to step up my game, if that's the case. So I'm thinking about, like, my skill level at this point. I'm like, okay, well, I had, like, one of my ass cheeks showing where I would have been, like, filming. So I'm like, ah, all right, well, we've got to make sure that... So I'm, like, literally trying to direct my... I'm directing myself in this possible porn that's happening that isn't really probably happening. It's probably, like, some sort of standby shutdown. Even though the TV's been off for a while. But in my head, I'm like, just in case, I have to make sure that this is going to be suitable for... So we're, like, respectable for all the strangers that could possibly be watching us on YouTube. So I just keep plowing through it. And then we finish up, and then we're talking about it. She's all, that was weird. And I was like, yeah, it was. I go, but... I go, we clearly couldn't stop. And she's all, do you think we were being watched? And I was all, maybe. I was all, it is what it is. I just finished off with, it is what it is. And then I just had to be okay with it. Because then if I made a big deal about it, we could never do it in that room ever again. True. So, and I only have a certain amount of rooms I can do it in at my house. So that would be the, now we're talking about, like, cramped bathrooms and all that stuff. And that's just not going to happen. Right, yeah. I needed to play that down so bad. But in my head, while it was happening, I was just like, that's insane. It was all about, like, cosmetics. Like I said, I just turned into, like, Ron Jeremy directing his first film. Before I even knew what was actually happening. So what would you do in that situation? Would you stop? I don't get it. So when the throbbing light started pulsing, your TV was on already? It was off. Your TV was off. Yeah, it had been off for, like, five, six minutes. So usually standby stuff like that, that happens fairly within the time frame of turning the TV off. Yeah. This just started kicking in when the, When the action kicked in. We got out of that area, and then we went into this good stuff. And then all of a sudden it was like, lights, camera, action. And it was like, then it was just the whole, because the room was fully dark, and all of a sudden you just, it just lights up, and then it goes dark. Lights up, then it goes dark. And then you can't help but understand, like, something's happening. Wow. So would you just continue? Or would you just be like, Yeah, I think I would. I don't see any reason to stop as you did. You just got to finish the job. But yeah, it's pretty creepy, especially that your TV was off for quite a while before that. Yeah, and then it stopped right after we were done. Yikes. Uh-huh. So anybody out there? As far as I know, there's no camera on the TV, but it makes me wonder, because everything else is spying on us, and then you have something like that that's matching up with the good part of the show. I know. All those thoughts were going through my head while I was trying to have, yeah. So anyways. Yeah. I thought that was super, super strange, and I just had to play it off. Like, I'd even rather just go ghost than claim that, like, it was a ghost in the TV than to actually even remotely go down the avenues of possible spyware in there and, like I said, just never have to go outside and just do it and get lit up by mosquitoes all night instead of having a nice bed to do what I needed to do. But anyways, yeah, I thought that was strange. Thought I would share that horrible transitioning from pet peeves, but I guess my pet peeve is being spied on while I'm having relations with my wife. Well, that is troublesome. So we're coming up to an hour here. Anything else weird going on before we wrap it up? No, not really. I mean, just certain things that I was, you know, seeing throughout the day. I was driving back from, I forget where I was driving back from the other day, and I was like, you know how your brain just kind of loses it when you're on the road and you start thinking random stuff, and I was like behind, I was at a stoplight, and I had to go somewhere fairly quick. I had to be there fairly quickly, and there was decent lines in all three lanes, and it's like, I don't know if you've ever been put in this position where you have to pick a lane and you try to strategically pick a lane, where I'm like, you see a beater truck that has a lawnmower in the back yard. I'm not going to get behind this guy because you're going to go three miles an hour, and I need to get here, or then you see like a Trans Am or like a, you know, a Challenger, and you're like, oh that guy, he's going to want to rev it up because he's wanting to show off his rig, so I'm clearly going to get behind this guy, and then no matter like what you pick, you always choose poorly for the most part. I would say 95% of the time you choose wrong, and it's always the cars that, the ones that surprise you are those beaters. Like that dude, first of all, is gambling on losing and losing, and losing, and losing, gambling on losing his whole engine on the ground right now. Like pushing it past 10 miles an hour, he's going to drop everything, dude. Like, or it's going to implode, and then it's like the Trans Am guy, then you're like, or the Challenger guy, he turns into like, oh he's not the speed guy, he wants to sit around and have people gawk at his rig guy. Oh, so the guy with the lawnmower is probably like, I've got to hurry up and get to my next destination before this breaks down, and Challenger guy is wanting to show off his bright yellow Challenger to people as he goes like, to five miles an hour down the street. So, I was just curious if you ever played those games where you're like, all right, let's do like pole position almost, like where you're just like, I need to get in this starting lane. Right, well, yeah, for sure, and it's super annoying, and the worst part is is that it always happens with Mrs. Budkey in the car, and she'll tell me to get in the lane because she's impatient, and then I'll refuse because I know I've got the plan down, and then the lane I pick every time is the worst lane. And it's the one that she picked would have been the fastest. Yeah, absolutely, yeah. And then you have to hear that all the way to your next destination. I hear that and more. I got that one time going to LA, and I was weaving in and out of traffic and going about 85, and I was all, it was that long stretch, you know, where you're just like, there's just nothing, and we were making such great time, and she's all, you need to slow down, you're going to, you're going to trigger somebody. I go, man, there's no, I'm like, I kind of knew the stops where they might be hiding out, and I was doing really good, and all of a sudden, right before we got to Bakersfield, I got lit up, and there was nobody around though, so I'm thinking a truck driver out of me because I was going in and out of truck drivers, you know, and I just figured they probably out of me because they were like, oh, we're going to catch up to this guy one way or another. And for the rest of the trip, man, the only good thing is it didn't happen after Disneyland because, like, at least Disneyland kind of saved me from getting hammered the whole route because there was something fun that could take their mind off of me not listening and getting, like, this $400 ticket. If I'm on the way back and we spent thousands of dollars at Disneyland and then I get, like, an added on $400 ticket, like, that wouldn't have been a fun ride home. No, that's a problem. I can kind of sympathize with that. So you got anything? Nothing. We can just keep chatting with the mic thought. But I think that went pretty good. Yeah. If anything, it got a little dicey at the end. I think our, the, yeah. The sex stuff got a little dicey or odd. Yeah. I mean, it was almost though it wasn't so much the story you were telling. It's just like, I felt like the energy just, like, dropped off. The back and forth, right? Yeah, I guess. But even, like, the energy just out of, like, how I was telling it. Yeah, like, our whole, like, thing right here. I think, you know why? Because I felt like I, I kind of was vibing like I might have been putting you in an uncomfortable spot. So that's what I was, I was like, I wasn't letting it all go. Like, I was going to, I was like, oh, this might, so then I was trying to dial some of the, the lingo back. And so, I think that's why that energy kind of went away a little bit. Yeah. So, I don't want to stop you from doing that. The, the point when I, we talked about this, like, after our pilot. Well, the unnecessary, like, coming in with the lingo. The cursing didn't bother me. The super weirdness was like, I was like, that's a weird thing to say. I was like, that's a weird thing to say. And it didn't fit really what the topic was. That was, that was an issue. Yeah, well, this one would fit because I'm talking about the length. You can say whatever you want. I mean, don't stop your, you, you curse in front of me all the time. So, this should be normal you. I know, but I'm also wanting your feedback too. So, if I'm putting you in uncomfortable positions, that's, but I have to. Then maybe I should say that on mic too. Then if I'm like, oh, I don't know what to do. Yeah, that would be funny. No, because I think kind of just saying whatever, sometimes not having structure is funny too, or just saying weird shit is funny. But like you said, for sure, that's thrown into a serious conversation about, I forget what it was, but it was super aggressive. It was something like, like head or whatever, or blowing, or it was something like, oral sex or some weirdness. It had something to do with sex when we're talking about a serious topic. So, I totally agree. That's, that's weird, because the kind of stuff we were talking about today, I think any kind of language can go. Yeah, and I told you I'm not trying to make it perfection. Yeah, and that was my fault. I, I was dialing it back because. The only problem is you told my mom about this podcast, so. Well, no, and to be honest, honestly, when I'm doing that, I'm thinking about what she said the other day about like, well, you got to watch what you say, and then I did. I told your mom. But I also, I mean, I don't know. I mean, I have to treat everybody like they're grown adults, too. Like, you know, so, I mean, this is going to be like what we, our baby. So, we're going to have to, you know, I think we have the right to take in criticism for sure, but overall, we have, we're the, we can take it or leave it. I think we should take our criticisms very seriously. They're like what we, our own feedback, I think we should take very seriously because, you know, I think you were right about the unnecessary, you were right on with that. That didn't fit. I think today, I was at fault for not going to the level that I should have gone because it's already a, like a risque story anyway. So, you might as well just, you know, it's, if you're worried about all that stuff that I was kind of worried about, we're already talking about something that's going to make people blush anyways. So, you might as well, you might as well just go all in at that point. So, I mean, I'll be curious to hear how it plays back. I mean, but I totally, I totally, I totally, I totally, I totally, I totally, I totally, I totally, I totally, I totally, I totally, I totally, I totally, I totally, I totally, I totally, I totally, I totally, I totally, I totally, I totally, I totally, I totally, I totally, I totally, I totally, I totally,