Brandon Held - Life Is Crazy - Episode 6

Brandon talks about his Air Force career and his efforts to show his value and worth. He discusses his achievements, such as winning Airman of the Quarter in his squadron, but also shares a disappointing incident where he was decertified as a flight security controller due to a false report by Master Sergeant Danford. Despite his efforts to appeal to the commander, he was not able to change the decision. This incident made him reconsider his plans for a long-term Air Force career. Welcome back. This is Brandon Held, Life is Crazy, Episode 6. So last episode I took you through my marriage and the birth of my son, Ethan, and, you know, that spanned over six years of my life, including my post-Air Force life. But I, you know, I can't just go through, oh, this is what happened to me while I was in the Air Force, and try to stay in the sequence and tell a story because, A, I don't really remember the sequence that some of these happened in, and B, I think, just think it's more fluid to tell the story of one incident from its beginning to end. And then if I need to backtrack to talk about something that happened during that time, you know, it's just easier that way. So that's what I'm doing. I'm going to talk about my Air Force career. And so as I told you before, my plan was to join the Air Force at 17 years old, work for 20 years, and retire. That was my immature teenage brain's thought process, right, to be 37 years old and retire for the rest of my life, which, by the way, at 1737, sounded really old to me. So that's not the way life worked out. It's not the way life would have worked out because that's not a legitimate plan for life. You can't retire after 20 years in the Air Force and live a good life. It's just not financially feasible, especially, you know, with the way prices raise and everything. So anyway, I took my Air Force career seriously. And so I wanted to work hard to show that I'm valuable and to show that I'm, you know, intelligent to some degree and that I could advance in my Air Force career. And so, you know, I showed up to work seriously. Every week, you know, we would have formation before we would go out in the missile field. And in that formation, you would have to have polished boots, which you had to do by hand. And you had to have a press uniform, which you also either could do by hand or pay a cleaner to do that. I was a poor airman, so I had to do it myself. So I would spend, you know, hours polishing my boots and ironing my uniform just for this one formation to show that I was sharp. And it came across. I was constantly told by the flight sergeant that I was doing a great job on my uniforms. As a matter of fact, one time they even surprised us and said, all right, the person with the sharpest uniform doesn't have to work because we have an extra person. And they gave it to me, and I got to get out of work for three days. So I had an extra three days off, which was great. I had like nine days off in a row without taking any time off. So anyway, I did that, and that was one of the ways I was trying to show my value and worth. The other thing that I did is I went up for Airman of the Quarter. So you start by sitting in front of this board and answering questions basically at the seated attention, which, yes, there is a seated version of attention. And you answer questions to this board. And in the security police squadron, I won Airman of the Quarter. I beat out my other security police fellows that were going for it, and I won. And so then I went for Airman of the Quarter for the base, which obviously is what it sounded like. I was competing against everyone else in the base, the medical group, the flights, the admins, whatever other groups there were, I was competing against their people for Airman of the Quarter, and I lost. I did not win that. I was disappointed, but it didn't happen. And so life goes on. So I was trying to show what else I could do, and there were positions that came open for flight security controller, which was typically a staff sergeant or above position, and I was only an Airman first class. And at that time, staff sergeant was three ranks ahead of me because there was senior airman, then there was sergeant, then there was staff sergeant at that time. The Air Force stood away with sergeant, so now it would only be two ranks ahead, but back then it was three. And I was chosen to be a flight security controller on my flight by my leadership based on my skills in showing what I was capable of doing, and so I was the only airman first class to be a flight security controller on my squad, my flight. And so I fought all of these things, showing up every day, working hard, showing my knowledge, staying sharp in my uniform. I thought all those things would help me gain rank a little faster because you can get senior airman six months earlier in something called below the zone. And for whatever reason, I didn't get chosen to get that, and that was frankly a little disappointing for me. And so during this time as well, I had a flight sergeant come out to QC me while I was working as a flight security controller. QC means quality control. It's basically a test. You get tested while you're on duty by someone in the training section to make sure that you know what you're doing. And so I had a master sergeant, Master Sergeant Danford, never forget this asshole's name, who came out to my site to quality control me while I was on duty, but I was super busy. I had a lot going on. I had two open holes. I had an alarm going off. Just every two minutes, I was on the radio speaking to teams out in the field to get status updates and stuff. So there's just literally no time for him to ask me questions and to see me, and I explained this to him when he arrived, and his arrival was also unscheduled. It was a surprise arrival. He didn't clear anything with me or anyone else. He just showed up, and he's like, oh, okay, no problem. I'll just stop and get some food, and I'll check back in with you later. So he left, and he went out in the field. We had a cook that came out there with us, and they were basically like our own personal cooks, which was great. You would go to them. You'd tell them what you want to eat, and they would cook it right there on the spot. So it was a nice setup. So he went out there, and he ate, and he came back about 30 minutes later, and the situation hadn't changed. I still was very busy, and I couldn't do the quality control testing. And so he said, okay, I'll go out there, and I'll wait a little bit, and I'll come back. So he went out there, and he shot some pool because we had pool tables out at the sites. And he probably played pool for about 30 minutes, and he came back, and he said, how's it looking? I said, nothing's changed. Still in the same situation. I just can't do it right now. And he said, okay, no problem. I'll just come back. I'll come back another time. I'll have to QC you another time. And I said, oh, okay, great. Thanks, Sergeant. I'm sorry it didn't work out, but I'll see you again next time. I'd never met this guy before. First time ever. And so he leaves, and he goes back to base. And then the next day, I travel in from the base to the base because it was our third day out there. And then I get called into the office by my flight sergeant, and he says to me, yeah, you know, you have been decertified as a flight security controller because you failed your QC. And I said, what? I didn't even take a QC. And he said, yeah, Master Sergeant Danford came out there yesterday. He QC'd you. You failed. It's in his report right here. And I said, Master Sergeant Danford didn't do anything. He didn't ask me a single question. He came out there. I had two open holes, an alarm, and he ate, and he shot pool, and then he left. He didn't even ask me one single question. You know, you ask me anything right now, I'll pass a QC, no problem. And my flight sergeant said, oh, that's not necessary. You know, I know you're sharp. I know you know your stuff. And don't worry, I got your back. I'll take care of you. So I was getting ready to go on leave. I went on leave. I came back from leave, and he said, you know, oh, hey, by the way, there was nothing we could do. The commander, you know, believed the training sergeant, and you're decertified as a flight security controller. And I was devastated. You know, I just was always under the impression or belief that if you are doing the right thing and you're doing what you're supposed to do, things will work out in your behalf. But no, I quickly learned that one asshole with no integrity can totally derail your career in what you're trying to accomplish in the snap of a finger. And so I asked if I could talk to the commander. I asked directly because I knew the commander personally because I was an athlete and I played sports. And, you know, sports, when you have the best sports teams accumulated over the year, you win something called a commander's cup. My commander won the commander's cup, and I played every sport, football, basketball, volleyball, softball. I partook in everything, and I was a really good athlete. So my commander knew who I was, and I knew who he was. And so I met him. I met with him in his office, and I explained to him. I said, you know, sir, this is just not true. This master sergeant's lying. He didn't even QC me. He wrote a false report. And my commander just looked at me and he said, Airman Held, I'm sorry, but if I can't believe a master sergeant over an airman first class, what kind of air force do I have? And I said, well, sir, you have a broken air force because you have a master sergeant that's lying, and I'm going to be punished because of his lies. And that was that. That was the end of it. So I got decertified, and eventually I got recertified once I proved that I know what I'm doing, and they gave me the chance to prove it. That was really the biggest part. But the damage was done, right? The damage was done. Now I had to reconsider, did I want to make the air force a career like I had initially thought I was going to do, right? The thought all along was blindly I'm going to do the air force thing. But now I was rethinking this whole process. So in rethinking this process, I was thinking, well, I could get out, but then what would I do? I said, or I could try to reclassify. I could try to get a different job and just not be a cop anymore. Maybe it's a cop thing. Maybe this one master sergeant Danford asshole, it's just because he is a cop and he's an asshole. So I considered all these things. Now I'm going to backtrack a little bit again. So before this incident happened, I was meeting with my supervisor for my evaluation. I don't remember how often it was. I don't remember if it was semiannual or annual, whatever it was. But I was meeting with him and I was asking him, how can I advance in my career quickly? How can I make rank quickly? How can I advance quickly? So he was trying to lay, and he was doing it. He was already someone that was doing it. I don't remember his name, but I remember he was like 24 years old and already bald, right? I mean, like a 50-year-old man, had hair going around the sides, but completely bald on top, 24 years old. But he was fast-tracking his way through rank and getting up in the Air Force quickly. So I was asking him, how do I do that? How do I follow that path? And so he told me, like, you volunteer, you know, so you can put that on your, essentially, resume, your evaluations. And so I did that. I volunteered once a month at an old folks' home, going to see old folks, reading to them, talking to them, just keeping them company. And it was cool. It was an amazing experience. It was eye-opening, life-changing, you know, things that I would carry with me even still to this day in life. And he said, you know, you could go to college and take college classes, you know, advancing your education. That will help. And so I said, you know, yeah, okay. I suck at school. I can't do that. I barely got out of high school with a 1.5 GPA, you know. I got out of there on the skin of my teeth. And then he said, all right, well, what was your best subject in high school? And I probably joked and said something like gym. And then, you know, eventually it led to math, which I did take advanced math courses because math came easily to me. And he said, well, you know, just take a math class, one math class, see how it goes, you know. If it doesn't go well, no big deal. You know it's not for you. If you do all right, then you know you could do it and then maybe take some more. So because I was serious about advancing my career, I went ahead and went for it. I went to the local education center and I signed up for a college math class. And I took the class and I didn't give it 100%. I didn't take it seriously. But, you know, I didn't really do that for any school in my life at this point. So I took the class and I got a B without honestly trying that hard at all. And, you know, I kept that in my mind like, oh, jeez, I got a B in a college class. Like here I'm thinking I'm some idiot who isn't built for school and I just got a B in a college course. So I kept that there. But anyway, my first thought was after this incident, well, I wanted the Air Force to be my career, so I'm going to try to reclassify. I'm going to try to get a different job. So I go to the, you know, building where you do this. I don't remember what it's called in the Air Force. And, you know, I expressed my insurance like, hey, my CJR is coming up, which is what they call your reenlistment. And I said, you know, I want to stay in the Air Force, but I don't want to be a cop anymore. And they said, well, let's see what you got here. And they pull out my ASVAB scores and they look at how low they are. And they go, well, you know, with these ASVAB scores, you can't do anything else. Like you just barely made it to be a cop. No one's going to let you pick any other military career. And I was like, you know, pretty dejected. And they said, what you can do is you can study a little bit and you can retake the ASVABs and see if you can do a little better. And I was like, yeah, okay, I can do that. I'll try that. So I took that on. I went and studied for a few months because I was short on time. I didn't have a lot of time. And I went back and I retook the ASVAB and boom, I had drastically increased my scores. Like, you know, 99s were possible in every category. And I went from being in the 30s and 40s and even in my best categories, 50s, up into the 80s, you know. And so I had really done well. And I was like proud. I was like, yeah, look what I did. Helped me get a new job. And then they were like, oh, you know what? The Air Force is short on cops, missile cops in particular. They're not going to let you go. So I said, you know, okay, so if I get out of the Air Force, they're going to lose me. So I can either get out of the Air Force and not be a missile cop or I can retrain and not be a missile cop. Either way, they're going to lose me. And they said, well, that's the way it goes. They're not going to let you retrain. You have to stay as a missile cop if you're going to stay in the Air Force. And then I went, I was getting pretty frustrated at this point. And I, you know, didn't know what other options I had. And I said, okay, so what about just letting me go to a different base? You know, I've done my time here four years at Minot. I don't want to be here anymore. Can you send me somewhere else? And they say, nope, nope, can't do that either. We're short on missile cops and particularly here at Minot. So if you want to reenlist, you have to stay a missile cop and you have to stay here in Minot. And I said, okay, you know, and I walked out after feeling so good about, you know, raising my ASVAB scores and what I thought that was going to do for my potential career change. I went from that to just being completely dejected, like, oh, crap, you know, I have to stay in this crappy career and this crappy base or get out. And so I was sitting at home pondering this. What am I going to do with my life? And I was watching an NBA basketball game. And at the end of the basketball game, I see Marv Albert interviewing Michael Jordan. And I got to thinking, I was like, oh, this is just basically a regular guy interviewing the greatest athlete on the planet. You know, like, that's it. That's for me. That's what I want to do. I would love to sit courtside or field side of basketball games and football games or whatever sporting events because I played so many and just do the play by play. I want to be a play by play sportscaster. And in that moment, I made that decision right there. I'm going to get out of the Air Force when my time is up. I'm going to pursue a career as a play by play sportscaster. Now, for me, when I make up my mind about something, as I told you previously, I'm all in or I'm all out. So I was all in on the idea of going to college and carving out a different career path for me, which meant I was all out on being in the Air Force anymore. And so I was still married at this point. And I shared that with her that, hey, I'm getting out of the Air Force. I'm going to college. And she panics. She's completely different than I am. Right. She likes security. She ended up doing her 20 years in the Air Force and retiring because she liked that security of that steady paycheck coming in and that retirement pay when it was over. But I am more of a risk taker in the sense I had to look at if I stayed in the Air Force and everything went smoothly and I didn't have any more hiccups again, I could make chief master sergeant. Is that a big enough win for me? Would I feel like I've accomplished as much in a career and in life as I could? And the answer that I came back with was no. When I could compare that to being a sportscaster and potentially interviewing the Michael Jordans of the world, I thought that is way more successful and I'm capable of doing that. So I was done. I was out. And so I decided to get out of the Air Force at that time when my enlistment came up. And that is how my Air Force career came to an end when I thought that was going to be my life. And so the next steps in my life were for six months because I got out in January of 1995 and I couldn't start school at Minot State University until September of 95 that I had all that time to kill. I got to collect unemployment and the way North Dakota paid unemployment at that time, I would actually lose money if I would go get a job. If I would go work in the mall or become a waiter or any of the jobs I could get after being a cop for four years at 21 years old in the Air Force, I would lose money. So it didn't pay for me to get a job. So I spent the next three, four months just going to the gym, playing basketball or whatever. And then I took up golf and I spent the next four months after that just golfing every day. And it was fantastic. I was getting paid unemployment to play basketball and golf every day. And I absolutely loved it. And then eventually I started school in broadcast journalism at Minot State University. And so that's the whole story of how I got out of the Air Force and how I started college, which was the next venture into my life. And I need to talk about things that happened during my military career that also happened prior to all of this stuff that I just told you, but in an effort to keep it flowing and to make the stories make sense. And like I said, I don't know where they exactly 100% happened in my journey. I will go back and tell you some stories that had some significant, I don't know, there were significant incidents in my life, things I'll never forget, things that even 30 plus years later I remember these things. And probably will never forget. And I will start that on the next episode, episode seven. So thank you for joining me. I'll talk to you soon.