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The podcast host, Blaise Bombal, emphasizes the importance of finding what makes you feel alive, your "vice" or practice. It's not just a routine but something that truly ignites your spark. Blaise shares how losing her passion led to a deep identity crisis. Dance is her practice, offering connection, expression, and healing. Through dance, she processes emotions, even anger, transforming them into vulnerability and self-discovery. Blaise encourages listeners to find their own unique outlet for self-expression and connection, emphasizing the power of looking within for fulfillment. Hi, welcome to Ignite the Fire Within. I'm your host, Blaise Bombal, and I am feeling very passionate, as per usual, about really encouraging you to find your vice, to find your practice, to find the thing that makes you feel alive. And it's not just about having a spiritual practice of like, this is what I do every day. I have to do this. Like, this is this. It's what makes you feel alive. Everybody has that one or multiple things that really just ignites that spark from within, and that is what I want you to connect to moving forward. And it's a unique journey to find what works for you, and it's also about cycles and seasons. It's, for example, if we're in winter, maybe the thing that makes you feel the most excited is not as accessible during the winter, or your body is tired and needs time to rest, and then you explore other avenues that feel good. But we all have that thing, and if we don't, there's usually a reason, and that's the process of discovering it, because there's been several times in my life where I have lost that one thing that really made me me, that I over-identified with and became my whole identity, and then when I lost it, it's, who is Blaise, who am I, what am I doing, what even is my life, and what do I care about? And so it's not a process of over-identifying with something, it's having something to come back to, yes, as a spiritual practice, but just in general, to make you feel ignited, to help you feel connected in your everyday life, and also to experience some sense of release and expression. So we all have that one thing, for me, it's dance, and it's taken on many different cycles and seasons, like I said, for me, it used to be soccer, when I was growing up, it was soccer, that was my thing, that was my vice, that's how I could express my emotions, it was an outlet, it was a passion, a purpose, it gave me dopamine, it gave me community, it gave me purpose, and just a sense of belonging, and when I lost that, I felt like I had nothing, and I was no one, and I didn't really matter, and then I didn't know why the fuck I existed. And that's a whole nother process that we'll get into another time, but that can be part of it too, and now, through years of experimenting with different things, of taking on meditation and going, okay, that's not for me, and trying on different things, it's like, oh, I love Qigong, but that's not my ultimate thing, for me, it's dance. Dance is my practice that I come back to, it's something that I do almost every single day, and I also am mindful of my body when I do need those cycles and seasons, and I do need to honor that with it, whether, if you're a woman, or a female-bodied person who bleeds, you may not always be in tune during your luteal phase, or while you're bleeding, not in tune, but you may not be as connected to it, because you need a break, or maybe that's the perfect time to dive in. And dance is an avenue for connection to the self, for connection to source, for connection to the earth, for community, for me, it brings in and is the bridge to everything. I used it this morning, I woke up, I had a shitty dream, and I was exhausted, and I actually woke up really, really angry, and that's not normally how I operate as a person, and I normally start my day with a lot of energy, and feel excited, and ready to go, it's that air-signed energy of like, oh, I'm ready to take it all on, and I woke up angry, I woke up confused, and I couldn't even remember my dream, so I didn't even know why I woke up this way, and for me, for me, I always take those as opportunities to get really curious about what's going on, instead of just going like, well, this is just the way it is, that's not how I operate in my life, it's like, okay, what's underneath the surface, what's happening right now, do I need food, do I need water, like, did something happen, is this a reflection of the things going on in my life, and I still couldn't get to that answer, so I was like, you know what, it doesn't matter, I'm just going to go about my day, in fact, maybe I'll even get a cup of decaf coffee, because that sounds really good right now, even though that's not good for me, and as I'm getting ready, I'm like, I was realizing, you know, I actually just need presence right now, that's what I'm craving the most, like, I'm seeking this outside distraction that's going to give me energy, that's going to change my state of mind, and when I really think about it, it's not getting out of the house, it's not immediately changing my environment, it's not getting a cup of coffee, it's actually slowing down, putting my headphones on, turning on a song, and moving my body, because dance isn't just an outlet for joy, even though it's an extremely joyful expression for me, I use dance as a somatic healing tool to express myself, to let go of generational trauma, to be lighter, to really tap into my rage and my anger, because it lives underneath the surface, and it needs an outlet, and I really love that, I really love being able to utilize that, and not just contain all of that inside of me, and know that pieces will still be tucked into my body, but this is the opportunity for the pot to not just boil over, and for me to take the lid off so some steam can be free, so I'm not just sitting in a state of discomfort for the rest of my day. So this morning, I took that as that opportunity, once I realized and checked in with myself, oh, this is actually what I need, as I put my headphones on, I realized, oh, I had a really uncomfortable dream that brought me back to this state, this triggered this emotion, and this thing, and sometimes you don't need to know, but for me, I like to connect together the pieces and be the investigator in my own life, and once I started moving my body, and being sensual about it, but then all of a sudden being really ugly and weird about it, and punching a pillow, and humping my body on the ground, and really grabbing onto that feeling, and that anger, and then pushing it forward, and really telling a story with my body, I really use dance as a static dance, it's an expression, it's a way to express emotion, it's not just, this is a display, this is beautiful art that I'm creating, look at me, look at what I'm doing, it's, no, let me really work with the rawness of being human, and what does that look like, and how can I display that with my body, what's going on inside, and how can I pull that out of me, and then look at it as if it's a movie, or a storybook unfolding, and allow myself to organically operate from that space, and not worry about being witnessed, just like be in these walls around me, and allow myself to get messy, to get ugly, to get weird about it, and so, did I just disconnect from Zoom, am I still here, oh, I'm still here, edit that out later, so for you, your vice may be completely different, maybe you're a runner, maybe you like to meditate, maybe you like to cook, I don't know, it could be literally anything, any sort of vice that brings you back to yourself, and this is not just about exercise, it's not just about dopamine, it's that thing that makes you feel most alive, and where you can express yourself in your truest form, that is what I'm asking you to tap in and connect to, maybe it's art, it could be anything, it could be for me, it's also human conversation, but dance is that thing where it's just, this is accessible in almost any moment, and it used to not be with injuries, and with things that I've gone through in my life with chronic health, so it's something that I appreciate tenfold in these moments, where I'm able to access it at any time, because that accessibility wasn't always there, and as I was moving this morning, and really moving like a flame, moving like this dragon, letting this kind of anger really build up, and end, and inside of me, and not being afraid of it, within three minutes, it was processed, it's not that it just was completely gone, and it was fine, and then the rest of the day I was unaffected, but I gave myself a channel for my anger, an outlet, a space for it to be felt and expressed, and through that movement, through allowing myself to be raw, and ugly, and weird about it, I received that vulnerability that I was looking for, that I was seeking in a distraction, that I was seeking in a cup of coffee, that I was seeking in an encounter I was going to have with a friend, and wanting external validation, and all these different things, when ultimately, and it's not to come back to that hyper-individualization of like, oh, I just give myself everything I need, I don't need anybody else, it's more, you are an abundant resource without having to pay for anything within you, like, yes, there's times and places for different sources and tools, but you within yourself, and I will continue to remind you of this throughout this entire podcast journey of wherever the hell this takes us, you are the source, you are the creator, you are what matters most, and you underneath, and like, I keep coming back to the chest, and imagining just like, ripping open, and like, getting into the soul, into the core, into the beauty, because we have access to just this universal point to come back to, where there's so much knowledge, and so much wisdom, that sometimes doesn't even belong to us, that's ancestral, or is just from our accumulated experiences over time, that is just waiting to be tapped into, and sometimes, yes, this takes education, or deconditioning of the brain, or therapy, or coaching, and at any point, you have what you need underneath. Begin within is a phrase that I am so extremely passionate about, because beginning within is where it all starts, it comes from within, so you have the ability to create that environment, and that setting for yourself, and really ignite that inner fire, is what it comes back to. So I hope, if you're feeling a little bit disconnected from your practice, this is that invitation to step back in, and again, this is also something I'll remind you of, because it's something that I struggle with, it's not about perfectionism, it's not about being perfect, and doing something every single day, it's not about being rigid, and being super scheduled, everybody has their own version of functioning, and what works for them as a human, it's about making time for what makes you feel alive, and making your aliveness a priority, your joy a priority, but it's also not just about joy, it's not just about being happy, it's about aliveness, and that may mean something different to you, but for me, I felt alive when I was feeling my anger, because anger isn't bad, it's not about being afraid of those low vibrational states, it's about creating a space for the humanness, and for all sides of you to exist, for your grief, and for your gratitude to be present, because they can coexist together, and that's a topic that we'll get more into in the future. That being said, I believe in you, you are capable, and if you don't have your vise, if you don't have that one thing that makes you feel alive, go find it, and if you don't have that one thing that makes you feel alive, go find it, and if you don't have your vise, if you don't have that one thing that makes you feel alive, go find it, go explore, go explore, like what a beautiful thing about being human, we get to explore, and yes, there can be limitations, and make your aliveness a priority, make it something that you want to find, maybe you go take a yoga class, maybe you go take a dance class, maybe you try art for the first time, or you call someone on the phone, maybe you feel alive in conversation, like maybe it's running, it's whatever you want it to be, and it's allowed to change, it's not about over-identifying, like I said at the beginning, it's not about over-identifying with something, and trying to just become this, and this is the only thing that matters, and if you don't have this, then you are not you, no, it's having a vise for your aliveness, so find that aliveness, create that aliveness better yet, because it lives within you, that being said, I hope you have a beautiful day, I hope you take some deep breaths today, I hope you find some presence, and connect into your heart, that's what this is about, connecting to your inner fire is yes, about empowerment, and it's also about coming back to your heart, that is the most sacred space, I'm sending you my love, until next time.