1996-07_03 Vipassana Retreat, Part 3 of 8 - Q&A 9

Talk: 19960703-Larry_Rosenberg-UNK-vipassana_retreat_part_3_of_8-43307 Start_time: 01:20:27 Display_question: How do I manage a stiff leg and fearful control over my breath during sitting? Keyword_search: leg, asleep, stiff, pain, fear, problem, loud, change, position, relax, physical, try, trying, hard, yogi, cushion, breath, come, let Question_content: Larry: First of all, how about your legs falling asleep today? Questioner: … cushion, but… Larry: I knew there's a but, but anyway, are you minding it as much? Is it as much of a problem as yesterday? Questioner: Yesterday it was, let's say for ten minutes, and then it was such pain for me that it was a big fear, and I couldn't deal with the fears also. And I don't know what else. And I experienced this today after 20 minutes or 35 minutes. Then I start. I focus on breathing. I think I focus on sleeping. I feel like I'm giving birth, you know… Larry: <Laughs> Questioner: I'm so happy. And I also can't think. I'm breathing so much, so so loud, everyone can hear me. Larry: Yes. Questioner: If I just can change my position a little bit, my legs. So I changed my legs and whole day from the beginning. That made a big difference. Larry: Okay, but let's go back to the other part. First of all, there are a number of you whose breath is audible. That suggests that maybe you're controlling the breath a little bit. Like, <Larry breathes audibly>. You understand that this is not at all, this is not a yogic breathing. It's not pranayama at all. Pranayama is wonderful. It does something else. Actually, they do accomplish some of the same things. So you understand that. It's just silent breathing. Okay, good. So when that's happening, are you controlling your breathing? Questioner: Probably. Larry: Yeah. Questioner: Focus so much just on my breathing, I just want to have all my attention on the breath. Larry: Yes. Are you trying too hard? Questioner: Probably… Larry: Yeah. Then relax a little bit. It's more, let the breath come to you. Don't reach out to get it. That can help people. Look, you are breathing. You don't need me to know that. Okay, you're sitting there and just allow the breath to happen and let it come to you. It will. You don't have to go out to meet it. Just be in a state of receptivity and feel and receive each breath as it comes and goes. Now, were you getting upset by the physical pain? Questioner: Yes, I think there was this immense fear that if I would let my breath come to me, it would not come and I would stay here and die right here. Larry: Yes. Do you think that's true? Do you think that's a true fact? Questioner: … I don’t think it would happen to anyone but it would probably happen to me. Larry: Yeah, you're probably right. There are exceptions to every law. Yeah. Okay. I'm very sorry about that. But so far we never lost a yogi due to that. But I don't know, you could be the first one. You go down in the history of 2500 years of meditation. She died on the cushion from a stiff leg. I don't think so. But what I was getting at is if there is that fear, then if you can observe that fear, that would be very helpful. Of course we started talking about it and we'll do more of that tomorrow. I just want to give some other people a chance. Is it okay to stay five or ten minutes later? Yeah, of course. I think I ought to. Okay. We'll just stay till five after five. Someone who hasn't spoken yet ever during our time here. Okay. End_time: 01:24:20