Project 1 Anthony V

Language is central to the speaker's family. Growing up in a Spanish-speaking household, the speaker's parents emphasized Spanish as their primary language. They read books and watched shows in Spanish, fearing the loss of their language once the speaker started school. However, the speaker became fluent in both Spanish and English. In school, they struggled to learn English and faced judgment for speaking Spanish. Despite this, they formed a friendship with another Spanish-speaking student. As the speaker's English improved, they associated it with their school environment, while feeling more comfortable using Spanish at home. They learned to seamlessly switch between both languages, but faced criticism when forgetting to use one or the other. The speaker also became a translator for their parents during school conferences. The constant switching between languages brought the speaker closer to their family members who shared similar experiences. Today, the speaker values Spanglish as Language is one of the most important principles in my family. It is at the very core of how we communicate with each other and with the world. I grew up in a Spanish-speaking household. My parents' native language is Spanish. And when I was born, they had zero capability of using the English language. So naturally, they taught me Spanish. From the moment I uttered my first words, my parents were determined to make Spanish my primary language and to never forget it. They read me popular children's books translated to Spanish, like Llama Llama Red Pajama, They're Very Hungry Caterpillar, and If You Give a Mouse a Cookie. I watched shows like Phineas and Ferb in Spanish. My parents had a huge emphasis on only using Spanish in the house. They feared that once I started school, I'd only speak English. However, that wasn't the case. And now as an adult, I'm proud to say that I'm fluent in both languages. Overall, I've come to appreciate my uniqueness and reflect how language has impacted my family, myself, and how it continues to shape who I am today. I remember my first day of kindergarten. My parents were anxious about throwing me into an American school. No one looked like me or spoke the same language. My first days of school, I struggled to learn English. I was placed into an EL class. I remember I had a teacher who would follow me and other kids around. Luckily, I wasn't the only Spanish-speaking student. I met a classmate and we basically became instant friends because of our shared language. It felt so relieving to have a Spanish-speaking friend because up to that point, the only people I spoke Spanish to were my family members. We mainly kept to ourselves because the other kids would not fully understand and sometimes judge us. Looking back now, I can pick out a couple of things that don't sit right with me. A lot of students would look at my friend and I weird for using Spanish. I recall times when the teacher would say with such emphasis, sorry, I don't understand you. It got to a point where I wouldn't even talk because it felt almost shameful to speak in our language besides English. It was so damaging to my self-esteem. It made me feel that Spanish was wrong and dirty and English was clean and right. Even today, I feel self-conscious about it here and there, but I've learned to deal with that feeling and be proud of who I am. Spanish is a beautiful language that connects me to so many people around the world, but most importantly, my family and friends. Often I think that people who grow up speaking multiple languages have different identities or personalities tied to that language. As time went on, my English skills improved. By fourth grade, I had become proficient to the point where I was going around making new friends. Personally, as I advanced in school, I found myself associating my English to the school environment I was in. All through middle school and some of high school, my friends were predominantly white. As a result, I picked up some good and bad habits from them. From some, I learned to organize and be a scholar, while others sidetracked me and pressured me into unhealthy things. Nevertheless, going outside my comfort zone with English was crucial to shaping who I am today because through this experience, I created long-lasting friendships, and it set me up for where I am today. At home, it was another story. Whenever I'd come home from school, I felt that I had to leave my English at the door and turn on my Spanish. It took some time to get used to, but I always felt more comfortable using Spanish. After all, the people who I loved and cared for the most used Spanish. It was something that I held close to my identity because I'm at my most authentic whenever using Spanish. I could let my guard down and relax. I didn't have to be the introverted kid I was at school. Instead, I was loud and confident. I was proud that my language represents a beautiful culture. It allowed me to connect so easily with other Spanish speakers because I had that shared background, and overall, it made me secure in my Spanish language. After a while, I fell into a rhythm of being able to seamlessly switch between both languages, although there were some instances where I would forget to use one or the other. I recall many times my mom would ask me how my day was in Spanish, and I'd reply, it was good. Instantly, she'd turn around and scorn me. Generally, I found myself switching between English and Spanish whenever certain circumstances arrived. During school conferences, I'd always play the role of translator for my parents and my teacher. I had to master the switching of Spanish and English so my parents would understand my teachers. This made me question how English would fit into my Hispanic identity. My other family members, like my cousins, shared the same situation. They had to bridge that language gap for their parents, yet whenever there wasn't a need to use English, we automatically shifted to Spanish. In a way, the constant switching between the two languages brought us closer together because we shared that same struggle. We navigated two very different worlds, one in which we had to establish our identity in America and the other in making sense of how that would fit into our Hispanic heritage. Fast forward to today, and both English and Spanish are a big part of my family. Through our daily lives, we learn to balance both and ultimately embrace it. Personally, I've come to value what many call Spanglish because I get to be a facilitator of the beautiful intertwining of both the English and Spanish languages. I can express my thoughts and emotions in a way that neither language can do alone, reflecting my most authentic self in the process. Then again, language and culture is something that is always evolving, as do identities. However, Spanglish can be a way of making sense of the chaos, and it's what I've found crucial in my experience. It helped me find the means of preserving my cultural heritage while establishing myself in an English-speaking world. Now, I can finally say that I'm confident in who I am in English and Spanish, meaning I can be someone who crosses between my two cultures while blending them together to build new connections.