Podcast 09-10 (enhanced)

Hi friend. I hope you're well. I hope you're doing amazing. So I'm sitting here in the car and I was just driving home from the shops and I just decided that I'm just going to record the first or the intro, let's call it the intro episode of my podcast and let's see where we go from there. I think we live in a, in a culture, in a society where we are always striving after perfection and for things to just, just to not make mistakes and I'm very much including myself into that because I think like as time goes on, I just recognize certain patterns within myself, even things that may be less obvious, but where we just think like things have to be perfect. And many times I find myself and then I'm like, but why? Why does whatever have to be perfect? Like if I just think for myself in terms of, say, my appearance. So I go to the gym and I exercise. Obviously I want to exercise because I want to feel good, but I almost want to say that that's not my main motivation. Like my biggest motivation probably is I don't want to get fat and I want to be in amazing shape. And then it's like, and there's nothing wrong with that because you, if you're in good shape, that can mean that you're healthy. But all in all, what I want to say or get to is that things don't have to be perfect. And that just brings me to, let's call it my show. And this first episode, because in my head, like I have to write a script and I have to like write everything down. And I know in the end, then I'm going to record it and I'm going to stop because it doesn't sound good. Because now I've made a whole big thing out of it. And I don't want to say that it's stressful, but in the end, then you, it almost becomes like a show. And I just want to speak into this episode today and share my heart, being authentic and real and raw and what I'm about and what I'm not about and what I desire for, let's call it my, just this journey. I want to say ministry, but it's more of a fellowship journey, sisterhood, that community that I long to create. And I just want to surrender my life to God, to Jesus, to the Holy Spirit, to use me as a vessel to speak through me, for me and for whoever is going to listen. So I'm just sitting here in the car and I'm just like, I'm just going to record, it's not going to be perfect. It's maybe not even going to sound perfect because a couple of months ago, I was looking into buying like equipment and buying like mics and all these things because that's how I get. I want to get the sound perfect. I want to have all the things. In the end, it just prevents me from ever starting because in my head, it's not perfect. So I can't put it out into the world. And I'm just like, no, I'm just going to speak. I'm going to release what's in my heart, my desire. And just, yeah, I just want to invite people, women into this journey with me. And yeah, let's create a community where we can just through the Lord and through the Holy Spirit, just be brought to a place where He wants us to be in and to be at. So yeah, I'm Annalisa Cesar. I live in Cape Town. I've lived here my entire life, which is 38 years. 38 years young, I'm married. I have been with my husband for 14 years. We've been married for five years. We have two girls. The one is three, the other one is almost one. And yeah, there's so many things that I almost want to say. But I'm just going to start with like, why I feel like I want to start this and to start the journey of creating content for my website, which I've launched in the last month with my blog. And yeah, just whatever the Lord places in my heart. But ultimately, I know that I've been called or that that's where I'm feeling called or not feeling like things within myself. Because I recognize certain things in myself, like I know I am a very much like for justice, truth, things that bring light to the darkness, to bring light into situations where things are just so evil. And I want the Lord to use me as a vessel to speak truth into areas and situations of life of people's lives, things that we believe, that has become our beliefs, because we've been believing lies for so long that it's just become part of who we are, what we believe. And because we perhaps grew up in certain ways, we don't necessarily even know that certain things that we are believing is actually not true. Like we have perhaps grown up with lies, because our parents grew up like that, or we grew up in a society where things are just done in a certain way, or we see other people and then we think, but that is how they do it. So it must be correct. And it must be true. But that's not necessarily But that's not necessarily always the case. And like, I've been, I've been walking with the Lord for a little bit, and I'm not going to be a hypocrite and say that I sit every morning and every meal, sorry, every evening and I, the Lord speaks this and that and that to me and so on. But that I can promise you is my biggest desire, just to sit with him. Like, he desires for us to sit with him like that, but to hear his heart for me for other people, and just to become a friend of Jesus. And I know that he's desire for us because that is written in the Word. So I'm not there. I'm not saying I don't hear from him. I do very much have history with the Lord, like things that God has done in my life, that he's doing things that I can see. But I desire to have that intimacy with him where I'm just constantly hearing from him, where I'm constantly in intimacy with him. And I know that is what he wants for me, because he has given me that desire. So I am holding him accountable to make that a reality because I can't make it happen. But yeah, I want to bring people into that journey, into what it looks like just to seek the Lord, things where I struggle, things that I'm praying for and about for breakthrough and things that I've overcome, things that the Lord has done in my life. So I want to use those very much as a platform to bring glory to Jesus for what he has done in my life. But then also to speak from a place where I am not seeing breakthrough necessarily, or where I'm in the middle of the process or just before the promised land. And I want to speak from that place also to encourage women what it looks like to walk in faith and trusting the Lord because he is good and his plans are so much better for us. And I think a lot of the times people just grew up thinking that they are Christian and then by default they think that okay, this is what it's about. I'm a Christian. I'm just saying I have the title. So that's it. But that's not it. And I used to think that that's enough. But now I'm like, Lord, there's so much more. There's so much that people aren't aware of, things that they don't even know that's there that can be our reality. And like intimacy with the Lord is very much real. But we didn't necessarily grow up like that. Like in South Africa, I know many people and actually just all over the world. A lot of people don't know that we can have that intimate relationship with God, Jesus, the Holy Spirit, where he is so real. And I've heard it too many times. It's all over the Bible. And if you're not walking in it, it's not because it's not real. It's not real. We have to look at our own lives and start to pursue the Lord, start pursuing healing, deliverance ministry, whatever it is, just start pursuing God and ask him because he will tell us he knows so much more than what we even know about ourselves. And he loves us so much more. And I'm starting to learn that as well. That he knows what I need and when I need it. And I have to trust in that. Because he knows what he has placed inside of me. He knows what I need and when I need it. And it's not up to me to make anything happen. I just have to desire him. I have to seek him. And that is honestly what I want. None of these things in life, like pretty houses, cars, clothes, the perfect body, a husband, children. I'm not saying these things doesn't matter because they do. I mean, I'm married, I have children, I love our house that the Lord gave us. I love beautiful furniture. I love pretty clothes. But I mean, we've been living in our house for two years and we still don't have a tiny room table. We 50% of our house, let's make it 50% of our house is still empty. I think I've been wearing the same clothes for the last three to four years. I actually haven't really bought myself anything in what feels like forever. But it also doesn't matter. Because many times I think to myself, so what? Even though I love these things God has made this way, there's still so much more important things in life than that. The Bible speaks about all these things only being here for a short while. And it's like, I can't remember the scripture, but in the blink of an eye, all these things will be gone. And then what? And I watched a video the other day of a pastor in the States, I can't remember his name. But he demonstrated like this big rope and then like three centimeters of the rope at the beginning equals our lives. And then the rope wasn't infinitely, infinitely, whatever it wasn't like, it was a very long rope. But all in all that part, the other part of the rope symbolized our lives. And that's the part that actually matters. Because eternity matters, like eternity is real. Like this side of life, it is real. But I don't think a lot of people, because the enemy keeps us blind, he keeps us like looking at the here and the now and tells us that you have time. But what if something happens, like, where are you going to spend eternity? And I'm not asking this, like, to condemn anyone or just many times I said, and it just breaks my heart that people are blinded to the goodness of God, the blinded to the reality of heaven, the reality of the kingdom of God. And the reality that intimacy with Jesus is very much real. And it can be an everyday part of our lives. And that's just my desire with whatever I'm going to do to make the name of the Lord known, to bring people, women into, like I mentioned, the things that I've gone through, that I've overcome. But then also into the things that I'm like waiting to go into the promised land to encourage women, like, all in all, God is faithful, God is good, God has a good plan for us if we trust him and surrender to him. And I just want to expose lies and things that give me believing, things that people don't actually even think about. Because I mean, if we live our lives every day, day by day, in the same way, and we don't hear truths that's going to expose lies, how are we going to know that we are actually believing lies? And I just want to be used as a vessel for the Lord to plant seeds, so that people can start thinking about things, like, for their minds to actually start to like meditate on things. And just to trust that the Holy Spirit will take that seed and germinate it and make it become fruitful. Because I can't do that. That's only the Lord who does that. We can plant the seeds, but he waters it, he increases it. So it's just my responsibility to spread the gospel, to speak the truth, to speak about what the word says, to bring the kingdom, to make disciples. And in saying that, I am not perfect. There's many things that I'm walking through that I'm still trusting the Lord to heal me, to deliver me from, to bring breakthrough in. And that's the things that I want to speak about. I want to be real. I want to be real. I want to, I want to basically use my life as an open book and bring it to you, to show you that, hey, I'm not perfect, but I want to be authentic. I want to be real. And I want to be that person that will be relatable to you, perhaps, in whatever topic I'm speaking about. Or maybe the one day, it's something that you don't feel you relate to, but the other day you do or whatever, the topic might be relatable to you on a different day, but whatever. I just want, I want to make myself available for the Holy Spirit to speak through and just to model a life that's really open for the hand of the Lord to move in. I really, that's the only thing I want in life, to know Jesus, to be made healed, to know Him intimately, to be set free, to walk in really knowing Him, not knowing about Him, but knowing Him. And that includes all areas of life. I want to, I want to speak about the things of being a wife, marriage, of my children, of being a mother, my desire to run my business or ministry, to my health and wellness and exercise journey, like everything, my personal life, like the things that I struggle with as an individual. And just to really lay it all open and to trust that the Lord will do something. So yeah, that is the short of it. And I really, like I said, this isn't going to sound perfect all the time. I do not have a studio. I'm sitting in my car. I do not have fancy equipment, but that's fine. Like my heart is to bring the kingdom, to bring truth, to be that friend, that voice who can maybe speak into your life with whatever it is. And just to show up and to spread the love of the Lord in whatever shape or form He wants to do it. So I would really love it if you subscribe, if you join me, if you come along with me for the journey and show you this episode. And yeah, let's see how this goes. And we'll take it from there. But I am honored that you have spent this time today just to listen to me, to be that voice in your ear for the last 24 minutes and 25 minutes, whatever. But yeah, let's see where this goes. And we just commit this into the hands of Jesus. Have an amazing day. Be blessed. Bye.