Los 4 acuerdos_

The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz is a book that aims to change our perspective on life by challenging the agreements we have made and the domestication we have undergone. The first agreement is to be impeccable with our word, recognizing the power of our words and choosing them wisely. The second agreement is to not take anything personally, understanding that others' words and actions are a reflection of themselves, not us. The third agreement is to not make assumptions, avoiding misunderstandings and conflict. These agreements offer tools to break free from societal conditioning and create a more authentic and joyful life. Hey everyone, welcome to a deep dive into the Four Agreements. Yeah, a book that I think can really change how you look at life. It's by Don Miguel Ruiz. Right. And it's rooted in ancient Toltec wisdom. And it's supposed to put you on this path to, you know, freedom, happiness, all that good stuff. It's a big promise? It is a big promise. Good. We'll see how it goes. We're going straight to the source today. Love it. We're going to be pulling excerpts from the book. Awesome. And you are getting it straight from Don Miguel Ruiz himself. Can't get better than that. You ready to jump in? Let's do it. Okay. So he kind of starts right off the bat. He does. This idea that we're all living in a dream, but before you go thinking we're going to be like, you know, astral projecting or something. This isn't about lucid dreaming. No. It's more about recognizing how much of what we think is real is actually just based on agreements we've made. That's it. In our lives. And we don't even realize it. Yeah. That's the thing. And we don't even realize it. We're unconscious. Exactly. We just kind of go through life, you know, picking up these agreements along the way. How does that even happen? Well, Ruiz compares this whole process to domestication. Okay. And what's really interesting is he's not just talking about like, you know, domesticating animals. Right. Like training a dog or something. Exactly. He's saying that society as a whole, our families, even our education systems, they all play a part in domesticating us from a very young age. Domestication. That's the word he uses. Yeah. That's straight from the source. It's a very powerful word. It is. When you think about it. Like if you're thinking about like, you know, like a wild animal, like being tamed, right. And how much of its natural instincts get kind of suppressed or molded to fit into this domesticated environment. And it makes you think about like all those beliefs that we have about ourselves, you know, who we are, what we should be doing. What we're capable of. All of that gets shaped by this process. So it's not just our dreams, though, like our own personal dreams. Right. He actually talks about this other kind of dream. He does. He calls it the dream of the planet. The dream of the planet. Yeah. It's like this collective dream we're all plugged into. Oh. And it influences literally everything. I mean, from our ideas about good and evil to what's possible in life. So it's like we're all born onto this movie set. That's a great way to put it. With a script we didn't write. Yeah. And we're expected to play our parts perfectly. And we wonder why we're so stressed out all the time. Exactly. But here's where it gets really interesting. OK. Ruiz says that because of this domestication process, we each develop our own personal book of law. Our own personal book of law. Yeah. Like a set of rules. OK. That we use to judge ourselves mostly. Interesting. And a lot of times we don't even realize we're doing it. OK. So what do you mean rules? For example? Well, think about all those shoulds and shouldn'ts we carry around. OK. You know, those expectations, those beliefs about how things should be. Yeah. Yeah. I get it. That's your book of law talking. So it's like all those unspoken rules that we pick up along the way. Exactly. And then we judge ourselves based on those rules. All the time. Yeah. Like, have you ever made a mistake and then just beat yourself up about it for, like, ever? Oh. All the time. You're playing it in your mind over and over again. Totally. And that's the nature of law in action. So we're basically punishing ourselves. Yeah. And Ruiz says we end up paying for the same mistake like thousands of times in our minds because of this judgment. Wow. It's like this vicious cycle. Exactly. We get stuck in these loops of guilt and shame without realizing that, hey, we actually have the power to change the script. So how do we do that? Well, that's where the four agreements come in. OK. They give us tools to break free from this domestication. To challenge those rules in our book of law. I like it. And ultimately, to create a more authentic and joyful way of being. Sign me up. So how do we even begin to, like, rewrite that book, you know? Well, Ruiz says the first step is all about awareness. OK. Awareness of the power of our words. OK. I'm listening. Get ready for agreement number one. Hit me with it. Be impeccable with your word. Impeccable with your word. Yeah. So that's more than just, like, being nice, right? Oh, absolutely. It's more than just about, like, not swearing. No. Ruiz wants us to see our words as, like, powerful tools, almost like magic spells that can either heal or harm. So, like, words have actual power. They really do. OK. And remember that whole domestication thing we were talking about? A huge part of that process is internalizing other people's opinions, their beliefs. And how is that usually communicated? Right through their words. Exactly. We carry those words with us. Oh, yeah? The criticisms, the judgments, even just casual comments, you know? Right. They become part of our own personal book of law, whether we realize it or not. It's so true. Like, when someone says something mean, it can, like, stick with you forever. Exactly. Think about a time when someone said something hurtful to you. Oh, I don't even want to go there. It could be a childhood bully. Right? Hisses are rough. Or even, like, a parent or a friend who said something, even if they meant well, that just really hit a nerve. Right. Right. It happens. And how long did they stick with you? Too long. Did they become part of that inner dialogue? You know? Oh, absolutely. Yeah. Shaping how you saw yourself. It's scary how much power those words can have. And Ruz argues that gossip, especially, is like virus software for the mind. Virus software. It just spreads negativity, and it really distorts our perception, which often leads to judgments and actions we wouldn't necessarily make otherwise. So how do we protect ourselves from that? Well, that's where being impeccable with our word comes in. Okay. It's about taking back control of that narrative. You know? Okay. Choosing words that are aligned with truth and kindness. I like that. And self-respect. Oh, yeah. That's important. And that includes the words we say to ourselves. Oh, man. That's a tough one. It is. It's about paying attention to that constant chatter in our minds. Yeah. The self-talk. Exactly. Are we using our words to lift ourselves up? Or are we tearing ourselves down? That is a good question. Are we speaking to ourselves with kindness and compassion? Right. Or are we just replaying all those old tapes? Right. The ones we got from our domestication? Exactly. The ones that tell us we aren't good enough. So how do we actually do this? Like, how do we become more impeccable? Well, Ruhi suggests we start by paying attention to the intention behind our words. Okay. Before we speak, take a moment. Yeah. Even as a split second to check in. Okay. So, Ruhi, how do we become more impeccable? How do we become more impeccable? How do we become more impeccable? How do we become more impeccable? How do we become more impeccable? How do we become more impeccable? How do we become more impeccable? Okay. Before we speak, take a moment. Yeah. Even as a split second to check in. Okay. Are we speaking from a place of love? Love. Understanding? Encouragement? Okay. Or are we reacting out of anger? Right. Right. Fear? Insecurity? Because usually when I'm, like, talking really fast, it's coming from one of those, like, not great places. Exactly. It's about choosing to respond rather than react. Right. So, Ruhi suggests we start by paying attention to the intention behind our words. Okay. Before we speak, take a moment. Yeah. Even as a split second to check in. Okay. Are we speaking from a place of love? Love. Understanding? Encouragement? Encouragement. Right. So, Ruhi suggests we start by choosing to respond rather than react. Oh, that's hard. It is. And to recognize that our words have this ripple effect. What do you mean by that? Well, they don't just impact us. Well, you're saying they affect other people. Exactly. Yeah. The people around us. Yeah. And ultimately, the world at large. Wow. I never thought of it that way. It's a big responsibility. It is. So, it's, like, a constant practice, then. It's not like you just become impeccable and you're done. Exactly. It's a lifelong practice. So, we're going to mess up. Of course. Yeah. We all do. The key is to just keep coming back to the agreement. Okay. Keep striving for that alignment. Between. Our words and our intentions. Okay. That makes sense. So, once we start to become more aware of our words, then what? Then we start to see our relationships differently. Okay. And ourselves, really. In a new light. Exactly. And that leads us to agreements two and three. Okay. Let's do it. Which, actually, kind of go hand in hand. They do. Yeah. They work together. Agreement number two. Don't take anything personally. Don't take anything personally. Don't take anything personally. Don't take anything personally. Don't take anything personally. Don't take anything personally. Don't take anything personally. Don't take anything personally. Don't take anything personally. Okay. Don't take anything personally. Got it. And agreement number three. Don't make assumptions. Don't make assumptions. So, these two agreements are all about navigating, you know, all the messy world of relationships. Oh. Tell me about it. But, with a little more grace. I can use some of that. And understanding. I love that. Okay. So, don't take anything personally. Right. Sounds simple enough. It does, doesn't it? But I have a feeling it's way harder than it sounds. It really is. Yeah. Think about how often, though, we do take things personally. All the time. We let someone else's words or even just their actions, you know, dictate how we feel. Right. Like they have that much power. Someone cuts you off in traffic. Yeah. Suddenly your whole day is ruined. Oh, yeah. Or someone at work criticizes a project. Right. And it feels like a personal attack. Like they're saying there's something wrong with me, you know. Exactly. But here's the thing. Ruiz wants us to understand that most of the time. Yeah. Other people's actions have very little to do with us. Wait, really? It's true. It actually has everything to do with their own book of law, you know, their own domestication, their own little dream world they're living in. So, you're saying like everyone's just walking around with their own stuff. Exactly. And it's not about me at all. They're operating from their own set of beliefs and experiences, their own wounds. And their reactions really are a reflection of what's going on inside of them. Not like a judgment on me as a person. Exactly. But, okay, how is that even possible? Like, what if someone is being really mean and it seems personal? Well, that's where agreement number three comes in. Don't make assumptions. Okay. So, instead of assuming the worst, what should I do? Ruiz says instead of just filling in the blanks, you know, with our own interpretations, which, let's be honest, are usually colored by our own insecurities. Oh, for sure. He encourages us to just ask questions. Okay. Ask for concrete clarification. Oh, I like that. Communicate clearly with each other. Okay. Because think about it. How many arguments would just disappear if we just asked for clarification? So many. Instead of just assuming we know what the other person is thinking, right? Yeah, like actually communicating. Exactly. What a concept. Ruiz uses this term, mitote, to describe like the internal chaos of the mind. Mitote. Okay. The conflicting thoughts, the judgments, all the interpretations. Yeah. My mind is a very busy place. Exactly. But he argues that if we can just get a handle on those first two agreements. Okay. So, not taking things personally. Right. And not making assumptions. Yeah. If we can really master those, we can actually start to quiet that mitote. So, less chaos. Less chaos, more peace. I am on board. Yeah. Less chaos is always good. Right. How much lighter you would feel if you could just let go of the need to always be right? Oh, man. That would be amazing. Or to have to defend yourself all the time. Yeah. I see what you're saying. Or even to control how other people see you. It sounds really freeing. It is. And that's the freedom that comes with really understanding agreements two and three. Wow. Okay. It's about recognizing that you have the power to choose how you respond. No matter what's happening around me. Exactly. Okay. That's a lot to take in, but I think I'm getting it. So, we've got these first three agreements. What's next? All right. Lay it on me. What's agreement number four? This one brings it all together. Okay. This is the one that will help you actually live out the first three. All right. I'm intrigued. Agreement number four. Always do your best. Always do your best. Hmm. Okay. Yeah. I mean, that makes sense, but it also exists in every self-help book ever. Right. Like, just try harder. Yeah. Like, be perfect all the time. Exactly. But hold on. Okay. That's not what I'm saying at all. It's not? It's actually the opposite. Okay. Now I'm really confused. So, your best isn't some fixed point. Okay. It's not like this thing you have to achieve, you know? It changes every day, every hour even. Really? Oh, yeah. It totally depends on your energy, you know? Yeah. How you're feeling emotionally, what's going on around you. So, some days my best is better than other days. Exactly. Think of it like this. Oh. You're a chef. All right. Some days you wake up and you're inspired. Right. I'm feeling good. You've got all the best ingredients, plenty of time to make this amazing meal. Gourmet all the way. Yes. But then there are other days, right? Uh-oh. You're exhausted. You're missing ingredients. You're totally slammed for time. Every day can't be a masterpiece. Exactly. So, will the food you cook on those two days be the same? Probably not. No way. But does that mean you didn't give it your best on both days? Well, when you put it that way, no. Exactly. And that's what Ruiz wants us to see, you know? Okay. So, don't beat myself up if I'm not perfect all the time. Exactly. Let go of that judgment. Okay. I can try that. Because when you're truly doing your best, it makes living by those first three agreements so much easier. Oh, how so? Well, think about it. When you're solely present, giving something your all, you're way less likely to just blurt things out, you know? Right. So, I'm being more impeccable with my word. Exactly. And you're less likely to take stuff personally. Right. Because I'm too busy focusing on what I'm doing. And you're more likely to just ask questions, right, instead of making assumptions. So, all the agreements just kind of work together. They do. It's amazing. So, how do I even know if I'm doing my best, though? That's a great question. Ruiz says, check in with yourself, you know? Okay. Are you feeling resentful, drained, or are you feeling energized and engaged, you know? Like you're in alignment with what you're doing. Okay. So, pay attention to how I'm feeling. Exactly. That'll tell you if you're pushing yourself too hard. Yeah. Or if you're holding back, you know, because you're scared or whatever. So, find that balance. Find that sweet spot where it's challenging, yeah, but it feels good. Where it feels like growth instead of like total burnout. Exactly. And that's how you know you're doing your best. And the reward. Ruiz says it's true freedom and happiness. Wow. Okay, I'm listening. Because you let go of that need to prove yourself. Yeah, like I need everyone to approve of me. Exactly. You realize you are enough just as you are right here, right now. That's amazing. Right. So, those are the four agreements. Four agreements for a better life. A roadmap. Okay, roadmap. I like that. It helps you navigate those tricky parts of life, you know? Yeah, and it's not like some quick fix, right? No, no. It's more like principles to guide you. Right, and sometimes you're going to like take a wrong turn. Of course. We're human, right? Yeah. But that's okay. You just get back on track. So, what's the first step? If someone's listening and they want to, you know, use this roadmap. Ruiz says it's all about venturing into what he calls the desert of our minds. The desert. Okay, that sounds a little intimidating. It's a metaphor. But, yeah, it's about facing the shadowy parts of ourselves, you know? Okay. Working through those old wounds so we can come out stronger. I can see how that would be challenging, but also really rewarding. Exactly. So, listeners, that's something to think about. What does your desert look like? What one small step can you take today? To start that journey. It's a lifelong practice. We're always learning and growing. Exactly. It's not about being perfect. It's about progress. I love that. All right, everyone, that's a wrap on our deep dive into the four agreements. Hope you got a lot out of it.