EP 6 unedited

The transcription is a conversation between friends discussing life updates, their podcast's success and plans for the future. They talk about their international listeners, engagement, and wedding planning, including debates about bridesmaids and budgeting. The friends also share personal anecdotes and experiences with weddings. They end by introducing the topic of bridesmaids for their next podcast episode. there we go and we're recording and we're back hello everyone how are we episode six i know rate us are we good oh how are you feeling today yeah better yeah better my foot's recovered it's a long day but i can't drive yet so andrea's still driving all the way to my house she bought a mcdonald's today though yeah yeah do we need to go on yeah we'll just start moaning again oh we're both so skint anyway should we get some yeah let's get some i'm sorry but mcdonald's sells everything it literally does yeah it's like here might have i come up here yesterday because i'm a grumpy bitch oh i really really needed like a full fat coke and a big mac and now i'm healed yes and i feel good again oh bless you so that's good that's good that's our life yeah that's how glam we all are today but thank you for coming back and listening yeah we really appreciate it we're doing quite steady on the downloads we're doing really well and it's lovely seeing where everyone is listening from mostly in the uk but we're getting a few from like an aussie yeah i think brazil was on there yeah so we are international baby we are going global but thank you ever so much and if you do love our podcast if you can like and subscribe and leave a review i'm not above begging i hate those beggy tiktoks that are like not all men but i know all women will stay and watch this tiktok to the very end and i just think yeah but don't you like i don't know i'm so petty like if someone says like you know it's like when your nan puts that copy and paste basically care about dying kids i'm like well i'm not going to because you've asked me to i do care about dying kids yeah but it's not about liking and copying and pasting it's going to do shit grandma lorraine sorry she doesn't listen to this i hope i went to a family barbecue this weekend and then um everyone's like oh how's the podcast yeah it's going really well it's like what's your favorite episode watch everyone just like absolute like panic you haven't listened to any have you which is kind of good in a way because i said to my sister oh you know you get a shout out but then i thought all right so you know what did i say what did i say i banned my boyfriend from listening to it i literally said that you can't listen to it he started playing it and he was just trying to play it he was like i'm gonna play it like i won't list all of it but i'm just gonna play it yeah um and then i heard it and honestly when i say i launched myself at him i'm like you're never gonna marry me you've taken the fault of it across the living room i said to mark um i genuinely said to him like look i know we're engaged now and i'm gonna be talking about ideas for the wedding yeah like that i said look could you just do me a favor could you just not listen to it going forward and i swear to god this man tried to hide the smile on his face you forget he's a very supportive partner but before we had the podcast this is basically what his life sounded like anyway what do you think of this if we got married and what about this what about that and oh i like this wedding and i like this that and the other like that was basically he doesn't need to listen to the podcast he's lived he's not a ptsd to prove it but yeah no he looked very he was trying really hard not to smile oh are you sure are you okay i've got some big ideas for the wedding oh i bet you have i know we did the episode that was like how to have a wedding under 10k i think we might have slightly misjudged it eventually because i think easy to get carried away isn't it honestly i'm like no we're saving for a house let's be sensible now i'm looking at that was the last episode you said that by the way one episode ago and things have shifted how the pendulum swings because now i'm just like i'm just i just think fuck it no i've waited this long um to have like my dream wedding to an absolutely incredible man i'm just i'm thinking i'm going for it i think i think fuck it just book it and work out how you're going to pay for it later like yeah yeah until your voices start coming in and then i'll be like do you know what yeah that's fine we can we can diy our flowers from why not just i've seen all on the wedding groups at the moment people having absolute nightmares with shitsheen flowers yeah it's serious i just do you know what the thing that gets me i see them and it's just like you need if you haven't got a fair room to put everything that you're diying in don't do it and then also what are you going to do with it after yeah you can sell it on facebook and like way less like yeah then you put in you might have better not rather not have flowers and have loads of shit flowers yeah it's just better to just not do flowers yeah can you do that have you seen a wedding that's not done any flowers there must be there must be because if people are allergic to flowers like silk flowers i know one i've seen people do it with like the lego which my partner loves lego but not for not but the thing is like how do you touch here and there would be my you know so we were having this conversation actually about i said he's quite lucky because he's got hobbies that we can incorporate you know he loves lego and he loves star wars and you know we can incorporate that a little bit in a very classy tasteful way so it's done right can look really nice and he's got his personality stamped on it and then i thought shit what do i like weddings yeah so it's like the whole wedding will just basically be my personality with a sprinkler mark yeah i know it's just um yeah weddings are my personality yeah so anything pretty will just basically isn't that what weddings are anyway it's like the bride's personality with just like a sprinkle of the groom here and there yeah yeah because we all want our wedding don't we he said the most erotic thing the other day to me um i'm like i'm 42 i pretty much thought i knew what i like oh he said to me we were debating whether or not to have like a church wedding or at the venue that i've sort of got my eye on and he said to me like just brace yourself because this was hot yeah but he said to me i don't mind but just as long as i'm marrying you i don't really mind where which i took as have whatever the fuck you like yeah like i don't mind you can do whatever you want pick what you like and we'll work out how to pass it later honestly i'm an absolute mess yeah but who doesn't want to hear that he does not know what he's opened himself up for sorry mark i'm glad you're not listening because you've really you've really dropped the ball there mark yeah rookie mistake rookie mistake but there we go oh bless him yeah he's very lucky yeah he is okay yeah i've already forgotten you've forgotten the wedding no bridesmaids bridesmaids yeah what are we going to talk about today today's episode uh ladies and the odd gent that may or may not be listening so today we are going to be talking about everything to do with bridesmaids we've touched upon bridesmaids and in most episodes they've come up and i think every time we sort of dip our toe in the water with bridesmaids we're very aware that there's so much more we can say yeah um so i think it's only right that we give them an entire episode to discuss pretty much everything there is to discuss about bridesmaids and yada yada i mean what yeah we would love to hear your opinion absolutely please do comment because we do see whatever platform you listen on we do see like the comments and stuff we get little notifications so do comment or comment on our um instagram posts or whatever but i come from a large family yes so and it's easy to get carried away like saying oh goodness yeah just already and we've not even booked anything yet like i keep saying we need to get our house first and then we can start planning the wedding but even so i'm just like the fuck it mentality i know yeah and you do just add and add and add and i so i see lots of brides that's like just at a trial typically like six to eight weeks for a wedding and there's always an issue with bridesmaids yeah always oh i've dropped bridesmaid or i've added a bridesmaid or all of a sudden can i add a bridesmaid have you got time to do another bridesmaid and i just it's caught it all the time it really happens a lot how many would you say is too many bridesmaids i suppose it's like how long is the piece it's really hard you know what because i did a wedding lovely beautiful bride amy's wedding um a couple of weeks ago at the gorgeous we've been to new place manor at new place manor oh it's the new one in in the new forest yeah yeah yeah opposite the barmalone hotel yes yes yes i think further past that big campsite and i think we went there when we were kids well it's stunning it's got the house and we've got the best getting ready room like the huge bridal prep room with like mirrors and everything but she had um seven i think seven bridesmaids i think seven maybe six and that to me is a lot yeah but they were all really good friends they were all have been friends forever there was really good vibes there was no yeah there was no clickiness there was no drama and normally i would go into a wedding like that thinking shit like yeah it's gonna be hard work and it was just the most youthful morning i was rushed off my feet obviously i had nine so two mums to do as well so nine faces to do right plus the bride and then i had um and at new place you can't get into 7am which is the one thing that annoys me you've got a large bridal party again that's something to consider when you're choosing how many when can you get into your venue if you're getting ready at the venue how long have you got if you've got an early ceremony time like what would you say it's an early ceremony time like between 12 and 12 and two i think i think 12 is too early um two is my favorite because it means ready by one yeah because like you want to be ready an hour before um but yeah i think two having you can't have the mix of the early ceremony time and then eight bridesmaids yeah so you need to consider those things because it really does stress you out but i would say i like i like but i have a wedding that's like three or four bridesmaids yeah i love that i think that's a good amount i would probably have five i've already got i've got two yeah and then my sister-in-law yeah and then then my two best friends so jenny and jordan yeah and then so that's five yeah without even trying and then i've got only uh three nieces yeah as well so we're a flower girl don't don't don't rack into the same equation so we're up to eight and then if i had my cousins yeah so right let me get this right just the girl cousins right the chronological order got jenny got helen got jemma got verity got amy and jessica they're the youngest ones i don't think i've missed anything yeah like realistically best 10 and that's just family and friends well not like i think anything above six is too much personally personally it can work but it gets into the realms of making things logistically harder at like 4 00 a.m i'm not getting up for four uh i mean obviously you know you go and i love it even at the end time i'm getting up at four o'clock in the morning as if i'm catching a flight somewhere i know i always feel sorry for that first girl in the chair when it is like 5 00 a.m and she's just like absolutely you see it i'm asking them all these questions as well because i've got two and i'm like well what do you want and they're looking at me like oh they're gonna fuck i've not had a shit yet or breakfast like stop asking me like how smoky do you want your eyes would you prefer a glass yeah stop talking to me they're there like cradling a starbucks but just trying to stay awake and i'm just badgering them like oh do you want to be more glowy or more matte and she's like genuinely don't give a shit no do not care just put it on my face and just get on with it but anyway but yeah so i yeah how many are too many for me and then also you've got to it's it because as much as you want everyone there yeah you have to work out like the more you have the more it costs and that's the basic but it is because it's not just it's not just dresses and hair and makeup okay if you've got 10 roommates or you've got six you then need to transport them yep if you're you know going to two different venues which doesn't happen that often but even if you're transporting them from like you'll stay at your house for like four or whatever so that's that's two cars isn't it yeah two cars easily and then if you want to you know all the accessories and if you want to do the bridesmaid right boxes and the robes flowers yeah it all adds it all adds up so and then it does kind of i think if you're you're having a bigger bridal party i do wonder like how many of those would be like obligation right how many of those do you feel you have to have as a bridesmaid yeah because you've got this person yeah like if you've got one cousin do you then have to have all of your cousins and you can't exclude anyone because it will be like they're still left out and that will just cause drama i will say you will cause that drama regardless of how yeah um politically like how like how even if you try and navigate your wedding in a way that you don't want to piss anyone off you will still piss someone off so i think it's very much about picking your battles yeah exactly like yeah i think how would you say no if you were if you had like an overbearing family member that was like well you've got to have such and such yeah and you're just like no how would you i mean i'm quite you're good at setting boundaries i'm quite with my i've got such a big family and it's full of women yeah so i have from a very young age learned to set yeah had to set boundaries um and because i've already done one wedding and i and i had to say a lot of boundaries and because you've got such a big family oh have you invited auntie auntie susan from down the road she grew up with your dad and went oh no um but people turned up at my wedding that weren't invited because my family had invited them absolutely yeah for sure yeah i know so but because i think because they won't even ask me because they know i'm just gonna be like no no not bringing them not invited yeah i'm culling people off the list like they didn't fucking invite me to their wedding yeah like i'm just i'm just like that i'm like i'm just i don't want them there i'm not going to invite them i don't i don't feel obligated to do anything but i understand that it is really hard for some people to do it's like that scene from sopranos when they uh someone well i think the daughter either got married or had a birthday or whatever and they as they were opening up the canister the money they were making a note of how many how much money they put so that they would then put the equal amount back so they weren't getting like stuff or whatever and it is a little bit like that isn't it and you're like well no they they're not coming because they didn't do this and they didn't do that and yeah i think tricky it's very hard to say no i think you've just got again we've said this in other five episodes it's like what's really important to you you should really look around the room on your wedding day and like especially like before your wedding day that's even more intimate that getting ready morning to me is so precious you should everyone there should be someone that you look like want to be there yes like and all they're bringing the right vibe do you know what i mean i cannot stress this enough as a girl who kind of got talked into eloping by her ex-husband and getting ready with just myself and sergey the photographer yeah that i met 30 seconds earlier you had to get me into my dress because i stupidly bought a corset dress that i thought i could just like on your round do it at the front anyway but there was a moment when i loped and i sat there doing my makeup for my hair myself and thought i really really sad yeah here and i wish my friend was here and this is a bit sad so that morning is a pressure it is really precious i think we underestimate it um and how organically beautiful it is and i was watching actually a photographer on tiktok i think it's a gi photographer anyway i'll find out what i think is and she made a really good point it's like on the wedding morning you don't have to fill that wedding morning with events and when we're going to do this and we're going to have a champagne pop and we're going to have this moment if you've got the right people there yeah those moments will happen organically and like you just said like imagine your work you'll get for some reason you're forced to elope by a class of an ex-husband but imagine in that morning in that moment who are you really going to crave to be there and those are the people that should be there preach literally yeah i think yeah that's how you say no that's why you don't give in because you are creating that memory for yourself and you want everyone there to be there because they really need to be there and they want to be there and you want them there but some ideas on how to say no just bullshit just say oh hey i don't have the room we haven't got the room or we haven't got you know you haven't got the room to get ready or we haven't got the budget to you know but it's not because we don't i don't want you as a bridesmaid it's just logistically we either haven't got the funds or we haven't got the space or whatever but you know and then if they do counteract with them well we're we're paper addresses or we're papers or we're paper that's so beggy yeah why are you friends with people like that you shouldn't really you should re-reassess why you're friends if someone's doing that to you it's so weird it's a bit pick me it's very pick me like you either surely you know what it's bizarre though because some people don't yeah you think that people know what your relationship is and then things weddings happen and then you're like no people think that we're closer than we actually fucking are i saw this really good tiktok it was mel robbins who just let them i can't remember the lady that she had on she had the psychology a psychologist on who wrote a really good book and she said the reason that weddings and bridal parties and bridesmaids and everything are so stressful it's because not since my space have you had to have put publicly put your hierarchy of friends on a bingo top nine for my 2000s baby i'm so old i still remember friends reunited but oh my god my mum was on friends reunited oh so old cries in the lair but yeah but like not since then have you you know so when you're having a wedding and you're like right this person's my maid of honor and this person's public showcase yeah exactly and then if you're like oh but i you were my bridesmaid am i not going to be yours and then you realize that actually you're the fringe friend that is just on the peripheral and you don't really and then you start thinking back and thinking actually no i call them all the time and i organize our coffees they're from different i guess from different worlds you've got friends that aren't like my best friends are all in the same we're all in the same group really so we're all together when we do shit so that they know who's who and we've all been friends the same amount of time especially if you've got like friends that you've been friends with from work for like 20 years or friends that's from like family friends that you've grown up with or college friends or uni friends who don't tend to interact with each other and they all think that they're your best friend yeah and then you get all those people together and that's when a lot of feelings get hurt and you can see those dynamics really you should always just maybe if you just want to bottle it you have family family yeah and like just yeah it's family but that's when you know that idea that you have the last of the something blue crew that's like a really good way you could maybe have that as a surplus requirement yeah have like maybe a maid of honor yeah as your bridesmaid yeah and then have like the princess of wales she just had her older sister yeah just the one just your maid of honor and then have something blue crew yeah which is especially they all get a special invitation a special dress code yeah maybe they get a little buttonhole or something like something significant yeah and you can have a wider group they don't all get ready with you yeah they're not all traveling with you yeah they're not coming to doing all of the bridesmaid stuff but there's you have a great big picture of you and all your top girls yeah on the wedding day and they feel they feel included they feel like happy and then you don't have to make those really hard decisions or have hard conversations yeah how do you feel i saw this on again i get all my information on tiktok i have to stop saying that with mark has to say i saw this thing on the internet i'm always like oh i read an article my boyfriend's always like watch the tiktok i'm like yeah fine i read an article of anyone else oh i'm totally gonna nick that yeah i read an article on this i know you fucking didn't sometimes i read articles on lad bible on the archbishop of banterbury or whatever it is that's an article okay well i read an article online specifically about and i thought i really wish that i had male friends i could do this with like bridesmen yeah i love that i love that they get a suit in the same color with the bridesmaids dress i will be having bridesmen this time i think i'll have them in equal measure because i didn't i had luck i said my my ex-husband didn't have didn't have many friends and he was from london and like i was from down here whatever but he was friends with a lot of my best friends because obviously i didn't shoot them so i managed to basically have bridesmen as the ushers yes because and then had bridesmaids as well but i have a lot of some of my best best friends are boys i would love to have a mix right away this time um and also like i'd like to all get ready together like i'd like to have the boys and the girls all get like in a house getting ready together um and then a mixed like stag and hen like i like that i like i think it's very obviously if you if you have those close male and pick some random but i think like britain's got talent yeah but if that's organic to you and that makes sense for you it's gotta be that pick me bitch that's like oh get on with boys better but like if you have those close male friendships why not have them included yeah yeah exactly and it's and it's nice and i say it's a nice way to incorporate and i've seen it the other way where you know the groom's had like his sister like his best woman yeah i like that she looks so chic oh absolutely in this tux yeah absolutely like incredible and i was just like yeah that looks really really cool i loved her suit um yeah but it is tricky when you have so many bridesmaids because like we touched on about the cost of being a bride yeah i mean it's really expensive just being a wedding guest yes at a wedding attending a gift travel all those things yeah maybe a hotel and sometimes as well being a bridesmaid it can be expensive to be a bridesmaid as well if you're having to i don't know stay at the hotel the night before and they've picked like an out of town i had a friend once who um who was being a bridesmaid and her friend who she loved dearly was like having this big wedding in a big really expensive hotel i think it's like london or somewhere and it was just like the cost was like mounting up and up and then this other person who was like being the bridesmaid just like literally just bought a house or whatever like literally every penny had gone into the house and it was it was just that conversation it was it was just that sort of worry for the bridesmaid of because there was the expectation of right so we're all going to go up the night before yeah and we're all going to stay at the hotel and we're all going to stay together which you know great fun okay and then we're all gonna like the makeup artist is going to do your makeup if you could pay for your makeup that'd be lovely that's another like hundred pound for the makeup and then it was like yeah not bad i mean it was really really good i'm sure yeah and then it was like the cost of the dress or the um oh no no i think that one she paid for it and it's like yeah and then you can stay over the night of the wedding as well so it was like a two-night really expensive hotel and it was just and like all these costs were like just racking up and up and up and up and plus with like the hen night and everything that you had before i was going to say what was just before that was even you don't and the bride although was like really understanding yeah when i had when they had that conversation you could tell there was a little bit because everyone's got different financial situation and if you've got if you're getting married and you've got you know loads of money for whatever reason or rich parents or whatever and you're in a different financial position to someone else it then becomes really awkward um and i think you have to have that money conversation from the get-go to manage expectations because when his bridesmaids was having sort of conversation saying look i think we're just going to get the train back after the wedding or you know whatever you could see the sort of look in their eye going oh but we all wanted to have breakfast together and yeah oh okay you don't want to make up done you don't want to be the poor bridesmaid do you like when you go to school and like you've got like shit trousers i've got shit trainers on yeah like do you know what i mean like you don't want to be the one cna yeah i've got my deodorant on from sports direct and everyone else is rocking adidas and nike yeah see this is why i don't like trainers i could not just fuck about trainers because we never had we never had some like growing up we had them from walworth or whatever and just i genuinely didn't care and it used to irritate my ex-husband massively that i would just be like i'm not paying more than i could for a pair of trainers and he would be like mortified you come from a trainer family or you don't yeah i came from a trainer family my dad even even if i wear like nikes now yeah we're an adidas family if i went if i wear nikes around that house the first thing he'll say is oh i've got fucking nikes on like i think you either do or you don't don't you yeah exactly but i think if you're if you're that bridesmaid yeah struggling financially and you're just like this is you're okay it's like one it's not just you no please don't worry and second of all like i think you need to you need to be able to have that conversation with the bride to be and if you can't have that conversation with the bride to be then i think maybe you need to seriously question your friendship absolutely i feel like anyone that you're close enough with to be a bridesmaid for yeah you should be close enough with to be like actually yeah yeah like this is a situation i mean i don't i don't want to be like i don't think sometimes it's easy to get swept up on your bride you want this and you want that and it's the biggest day of your life and sometimes you automatically assume it's going to be the biggest day of everyone else's lives and i think that's absolutely okay to get swept up in that sometimes but you do occasionally need someone to bring you back down to earth and remind you that people have other shit going on too as well as your wedding if i get like that you have my i will fucking tell you don't worry i'll tell you that's fine if any of andrea's 50 bridesmaids need an ear or need me to reign her in just pop me a little message ride or die podcast on instagram and i'm the only one with a login to that at the moment and i'll help you out but no like seriously like i think like you said not re-evaluate yeah like re-evaluate your friendship but if you're you this person loves you yeah they've chosen you for a reason they don't want you to be internally in turmoil yeah it was full of anxiety whatever what do you think do you think brides should maybe like outline everyone's sort of expectations and budget earlier on say like this is what i'm doing i would like you to be bridesmaid based on what i would like for the day it's going to cause this this and this are you going to be comfortable doing that or not i read an article online okay where a very a type bride which is not my no mo at all insiders but i love this yeah she sent a form out yeah emails it was all like confidential it wasn't like on a whatsapp like with on a google form yeah and it was like okay what's your dress size yeah what's your preference on pajamas yeah shorts or this or whatever and it was all stuff like that and then i think yeah you could easily put something on there like what if you if you wanted to buy it would you prefer to buy your own dress and therefore have like full day on it and if you wanted to buy a dress or if i was allowed to pick like what would be the maximum budget or you know what are you comfortable with and that would be a great time to sort of say look you know have you got anything big coming up because obviously there's going to be times where you'll pick all your bridesmaids or whatever and you actually like one of them get pregnant or something yeah be like look i'm gonna have to like sort of just respectfully tap out because one i don't want to be like no i don't know i don't know if you've got if your friend is having a full big on wedding and there's lots to financially contribute to yeah is it gonna yeah there's going to be times when it's going to be just like that it's not because i don't love you no but we're redoing the kitchen yeah we need to yeah you know it's gonna be an expensive year coming up yeah coming up yeah or something like that and again like you say if you can't have that conversation with your mate yeah maybe you shouldn't be bridesmaid anyway really like let's be honest it's half the tree like maybe you shouldn't be bridesmaid you can't there's not one of my friends that i couldn't turn around and be like no i'm fucking skin yeah this week i can't afford it like i can probably afford to do this part and this part i'm not going to then be able to go on a 600 pound hen do to barcelona also like which one would you rather me do yeah what would you rather me be a part of i think brides need to be flexible with some things as well it's like actually does not hate pains me to say it does everyone need to have hair and makeup like some people can't if some people are quite good at doing their own makeup quite comfortable doing their own makeup like and obviously i hate that i hate saying that but it's like if you're yeah i don't know it's really really tricky yeah i i went to um a wedding because obviously i used to have a bridal shop and i helped a bride get into a dress in the morning in the wedding and she was lovely shout out to martin she's absolutely lovely yeah um and she her bridesmaids i think did all their own makeup because they were like young in the 20s actually i remember like if i did my own makeup it's gonna look like a millennial's done it and yeah they're quite good at doing makeup yeah these days obviously they do all their you know tutorials and stuff like that i think it's finding like it's finding the balance yeah like don't get wrong like it's not it's the experience of all of your bridesmaids having the hair and makeup done is lovely it's a luxury experience yeah if they're not on luxury budgets yeah then that can be one of the things that maybe goes and i think that's the same for everything if it's not really important for you don't get me wrong i value the industry obviously and i think it has great value to have that experience but weddings are luxury like when i said yeah read something the other day it's like we are all entitled to a marriage but a wedding is a luxury party yeah it's going to cost a lot of money because of the expectations of it well that's why i set up hampshire wedding network after so many gorgeous like hidden gem wedding venues my friend got engaged and planned her wedding like pre-covid and then covid happened and that her she went back to her venue afterwards and was just like this has gone drastically downhill i don't like it and god bless her gina and this is gonna sound like i'm going to make up my own ass but it's just god's honest truth it's a god's honest truth but she phoned me and was just like right you're the wedding guru where's good in portsmouth so i can get married um and she was getting married on hms warrior and i was like right give me two hours and i think i sent her over like yeah i was like try the boathouse yeah uh try this place i think she ended up going she went with phil and west in the end yeah but she was like oh my god there's all these like places i didn't even know that all these places existed and i think it's easy to forget when we're in the wedding industry that like what seems second nature to us yeah it's not second nature to everyone else but that's why in this day and age that's why i set up hampshire wedding network because there's so many hidden gem venues and places that are beautiful but affordable is that one where you did the um is it the angel yeah so you did i did a wedding center and from the outside i did like it doesn't look bad from the outside by the way but i was not expecting it to be as beautiful inside as it was it looked lovely outside but quite plain i would describe it as but inside was stunning like a barn but it was like a barn vibe to it and it's like oh god like amazing yeah but yeah it's it's it's it's tricky and if you are listening to this i don't feel that it's just you i don't know everyone's struggling at the moment um oh my god yeah you need to be able to like i would say just to sort of round off that point have that money conversation yeah yeah and don't feel embarrassed about having that money conversation because yeah money's a very like it's a very important factor to everyone especially at the moment things are getting more expensive things like weddings are luxury experiences aren't they like yeah it's like it's one of those things you just need to be able to communicate what your your capabilities are financially doesn't mean you're any worse than any of the other bridesmaids if you can't afford every little thing yeah we were we were okay no we did see this on tiktok we didn't but equally there was a bride out there but she oh my god so she said to her like maid of honor she and obviously this is in america because i don't i'd like to think no british guy could do this but um she said to her friends like right okay the bridesmaid's dresses are all four hundred dollars each yeah and then um so they're all paid for i put it on my credit card they're 400 pounds each she just paid me back for them and so the bridesmaid went to collect the dresses and the bridal shop owner went okay yeah no that's that'll be two hundred dollars each and she was like hang on then we've all paid yeah they've been paid for and she went oh yeah no they have been paid yeah that's fine she went okay great thanks and then she went hang on did you say two hundred dollars she told us they were four hundred dollars each and it turned out they had pocketed the difference well they would put they put the difference towards the 200 pounds difference each dress they put that towards the wedding dress yeah but like fucking hell and then about a while i've got this the thing here and it's there it literally was like long story short confronted the maid of honor about it she spilled the beans the bride and maid of honor plotted together to charge us double to help pay for the bride's dress i let the rest of the bridesmaids know and four of us dropped out of the wedding immediately so if you've ever had anything like that tell us i wonder how much that happens like there's so much money change in hands isn't there there's people like oh i'll just put that on my credit card and i'll just do this and you pay me back yeah i wonder how much that happened i mean it was on this morning where the the bridesmaids maid of honor was like no it's fine i'll plan it it's fine just send me over all your money and i'll book it and then like the week before it wasn't booked nothing like and this was like an abroad yeah one i think they didn't actually get on the holiday one but none of the events had been booked they actually hadn't booked to do anything they just booked this holiday and they kept apparently they hadn't even made like reservations in bars and things and this massive group kept turning up and they couldn't even eat because there were so many of them there's like 30 of them you can't just rock up to a restaurant when there's 30 of you and they'd not booked a single reservation for the entire time they were away and they all had to have like mcdonald's and shit the whole time i mean i love mcdonald's i think the one i saw this morning she actually got put in prison for it because it's like fraud well technically that is fraud isn't it like she took you know she was taking like 500 pounds your friends though what was not your best do that you consider your best friend yeah i bet she probably was just like right i'm just gonna dip into it and borrow it and i'm just borrowing it i'm gonna pay it back yeah and then never yeah because if you dodgy bitch buy your wedding dress like i don't know like i saw one where the bride the she had like a cash bar so this was an american one so obviously it's a bit different they sort of tend to expect an open bar but this was a cash bar and the maid of honor was like i'm sure her dad paid for the paid i remember talking to tony or whatever about it and he paid and it was a cash bar that's odd that's suspicious and then it and then the next week like when when the bride got back from like honeymoon or whatever like her boobs were massive and she put the difference to it like you know having like a food job or something i'm sure i saw something yeah and like the dad was absolutely well we would be really curious yeah i think i think it was on one of those am i the yeah like yeah it's uh it's the blonde lady with like the blanket on her leg yeah yeah yeah like am i the asshole yeah it's i went down the rabbit hole whilst reading that article on tiktok yeah yeah reading that article reading that very that publication so obviously you own bridal shop i've seen especially like i follow lots of bridal shops wedding industry stuff i've seen recently so many bridal shops now are not stocking bridal dresses yeah and they're just doing bridal yeah but first of all why is that and second of all where where should people be headed now that they can't easily access this on the high street as they used to be able to so when i opened up my shop i was very lucky that i had uh two contacts in the wedding business um that had previously owned a bridal shop and i was like look just give me the top 10 things or do some dates one of them was don't even bother with getting bridesmaids dresses because there is so much good stuff online yeah people just come in with their bridesmaids oh it's really lovely we just need to think about it yeah go online and get an order and order it which we get um but it is because at the minute bridal boutiques it's tough out there at the minute it is because the bridal shops are becoming the internet's changing room yeah and that is why they are charging for a problem yeah so and if you're not and also if you've got a product that you're not selling you know you're going to get rid of it so that's why a lot of places are just doing sort of the prom dresses or bridal um and a lot of places don't do bridesmaids dresses anymore for that for that reason um so and yeah i'm glad i'm glad i didn't do bridesmaids because it's just there is so much and to be fair i would be the same if there's if you can get a hundred pound dress on asos are you really then going to spend like you know two hundred so i i had them once in my bridal shop so one of my suppliers came in and they were like oh yeah you know do you want to start doing like adult bridesmaids we've got this new range coming in yeah and i was like no i don't want to you know not interested it's just going to be a waste of my time and money and i said no no no look that spare wall there that you've got they've looked really good and i was like yeah no they will but you know no i don't want to do it they went no we'll give you the samples for free i was like do you know what actually that wall would look lovely with bridesmaids okay go on then you've put in my arm and they were amazing quality the sizing was like well i i was a 16 and got into a 12 oh i made so much content that day i practically wore it to the school run at three o'clock like it was amazing and the quality was lovely and i felt amazing but these dresses were by an american designer and they were i think the cheapest one was like 230 if you've got five bridesmaids are you gonna spend 230 pounds on a really lovely gorgeous dress or are you gonna go on asos or you're gonna go yeah wherever it's and get a stunning dress and i literally didn't sell not one although i had a few appointments when i stopped stopping them i had a few appointments where being um sort of in a in a naval town in portsmouth um a few of the sisters that came to the appointment once the appointment had finished and the bride had like said yes to the dress and whatever and everyone's getting dressed and getting their shoes on or whatever her sister's like paz do you mind if i just um you know like try it out well i've got a ball you know military yeah i think you know naval ball sort of thing coming up and you know and i ended up doing that or the mums would try them on because they had a cruise coming up yeah i've still got a few of them upstairs and you can give them to like oxfam because the shop's closed now but there's so many good places online that you can get bridesmaids dresses from um i would say if you are looking for ideas of where to get them from good quality as well quality as well yeah so the best advice i can give you it's really tempting to get them off sheen and timo and i get it it's so tempting you see we've all seen horror stories haven't we but either the quality is shocking some of them i've seen some people say you know not too bad it's okay and i get that um but some of the quality if it's weird and the sizing's not great it's such it's such a false economy because you will end up then not being able to get a refund or not being able to get you know and there's this and not only just like you know but there's a few other websites that um like you'll see just look on any wedding group for the uk and like where do you get your bridesmaids dresses from and there's a few that pop up um and it's the dresses either come and they're really bad quality but you can't get a refund so and then you're left with them you know some of the fabric's really hard to adjust isn't it i've spoken to like seam weddings um dress makers but i'm not interested i learned that the other day i think it's apparently like seamstresses by an old-fashioned term they do so much more than adjusting the seams of things dress makers apparently if i'm wrong if you feel like people are seamstress let me know but i've heard dress makers yeah and have said that that fabric people will come to them like can you take this in but the fabric's so flimsy so poor quality it's really difficult to make those adjustments to that fabric yeah i've had that before with um there was a wedding dress i'm gonna say seamstress i might be wrong um they there was a chain of wedding dress shops i'm not gonna say they probably got much bigger legal team than between us but a national chain of shops where you don't need an appointment and you can take your dress away with you that day you know the one does it rhyme with shed to really terrible shed to p shed to p yeah uh it rhymes with that yeah um i had some seamstresses i'm sorry take a moment take a moment i'm fine okay i had a seamstress that would refuse point blank to touch them she's just giggling away i'm not going to make eye contact with her in the next i could just see her shoulders going but she refused point blank to do the alterations on them because honestly you get like a seam allowance so you think oh you take the seam like you undo the seam and you think you'll get like an inch extra fabric but there wasn't ever there was like maybe a few millimeters if you were lucky and then also sometimes in the seams and again i don't know if this is true this is just what i've heard um so i could be very wrong um but sometimes the seams they would just like glue lace over the top of it they would just glue the seams together um yeah so just yeah sometimes the cheaper the dress is made it will have intricate and then you won't be able to alter it and stuff like that buy cheap buy twice don't they yeah exactly yeah my friend's dad had a shop um and he always there was a sign in his side of the office bit that used to say the the feeling of getting a cheap uh bargain or whatever is quickly forgotten when quality is like compromised yeah a few years you know down the road but um but yeah but if you are so if you're going online to get your dress i would say the obvious places asos asos i like asos a little bit of asos asos design is yeah a little brand isn't it i've got some really nice wedding guest dresses from there but they also do like the fabric the quality to be the beading not really nice quality yeah and also the return policy's great that's really good um and then i would say also made to measure uk company that i've only just discovered run opened by two sisters cute um which we love love women you know yeah women owned business love that um and the quality looks really good um and the styles look really gorgeous as well um so i would highly recommend those as well um where else could you get right did you know what actually sterility pack and sterility pack online yeah um and also debenhams is online well debenhams was the place to go for bridesmaid dresses yeah lots of times i i've been bridesmaid a lot like through like teams and stuff and we'd always go to debenhams yeah to go and pick them yeah i saw a really lovely pick up um of the bride doing well i've ordered dresses three dresses yeah everyone's size yeah and like with the colors or whatever and it was she had a really nice evening at home where they had like the you know cheeses or whatever i mean the really girly night they all tried on the dresses some looked you know okay some looked great some looked absolutely amazing yeah it's funny though isn't it yeah it's nice and i thought that's such a nice nice way of doing it like aperol spritz and get the girls around and it's for an event like we want like a wedding build-up event yeah we like like anything we can do to add that fun add like something to do with your girls do with your mom do with your like maid of honor yeah i love anything you can do which just like builds that excitement like yeah planning a wedding so stressful i think any little things that you can plan doesn't always have to be expensive but any little things you can plan on the run-up just to keep you in the vibe of this is so exciting this is a great part of my life yeah let's just really squeeze every drop of joy and dopamine out of this experience that we can like why the fuck not yeah and like you say like you know we've as we started this episode like it can be quite stressful it can be you know um yeah cost of living crisis and everything so you have something something nice to look forward to and something you can do with your girls and make happy memories yeah let's do it remind yourself what you're doing it for yeah exactly there's that tiktok trend at the moment isn't there yeah i almost forgot what it was all about and essentially when you are a bridesmaid it's because you love that person so much and you want to you are happy to be a part of their wedding and you would wear a bin bag if that's what they wanted and you just you know you love them so much but just having your girls with you in the morning getting ready and stuff like this that's what's really important it's not you know the rest of it's just noise it is just i think that's why we like a lot of these things is about communicating with your friend ultimately don't stress you out about this situation nip it in the bud get that over with and get back to enjoying the whole process because realistically i mean we can't say this but it only happens once in a lifetime for most actually not for most but yeah normally the idea is it only happens once let's not marriages are like pancakes it's all right to throw the first one out and then the second one spot on yeah but it's just true actually i read somewhere that statistically second marriages are more likely to last i can't wait for the second round of weddings in my friend group i've said this to my best friend the other day i'm like we've run out of wedding weddings now pretty much most people who've got married are like oh but the second weddings are always better aren't they because you don't give a shit and you know what you did wrong the first time yeah it always was really fun and you know what you're not going to put up with oh yeah absolutely so i can't wait for the round of second one right let's do yes bridesmaids yay or nay well maybe not shout i won't shout sorry i don't need encouraging to be louder than i am um right okay so if all that we'll start with same dresses or mixed styles what do you prefer i love mixed styles hard yes hard yes for mixed stars i think as long as they're all the same yeah and the same color yeah palette or color palette i've seen some really lovely ones on tiktok where i'm just not gonna apologize now it's all on tiktok it's all on tiktok yeah i saw a tiktok uh well i've seen loads of tiktok and like the bridesmaids will be like different shades of pink love that i love that pink floral i love like mixed yeah mixed patterns and everything as long as it's like yeah i'll pick this yeah i think the thing is when i say this to everyone but you want your bridesmaids to be comfortable and feel great yeah because there's nothing worse than feeling shit in a bridesmaid dress like i and i think that's why the whole uniform bridesmaid dresses are going out of style to a degree because not everyone's got the same shape no it's not the same height no what looks good on one will look terrible on the other and i think forcing there's always going to be like one bridesmaid that it won't it won't yeah that it won't and it will just be like oh and you just feel sorry for that girl i would speaking as someone that has been a bridesmaid and maybe not like their dress as much yeah yeah um i i would happily love yeah look let me let me choose give me a color palette give me a name i'll pay then you can wear it again if it's something that you've chosen more your style your style i would be way more happy to pay for something that i know that i'm gonna wear three or four times at least oh yeah love mix right so do we want yay or nay or this or that flower boys and groom or like groomsmen with bum bags so less traditional or do we like the traditional flower girls okay i think in the flower boy category we'll put like uh ring security those sorts of things but just like boys stuff or traditional flower girls and page boys will include page boys too okay right this is awful because i'm a mum to a seven-year-old you can flag it off now i think the ring security bit like it was like funny for about two minutes and then the first one was funny well you've never seen it before um groomsmen it again it all depends on the couple and the vibe and what their friends like and if it's funny and it suits you then go for it i just i don't i i'm in my 40s if i've got like a 45 year old man with a bum bag it's not going to be because i've planned it i don't know much yeah a bit of an ex for me and like i know it sounds bad don't even get me started on like the little voice notes of hi i'm sorry like that is just manipulation to try and get the groom to cry yeah if you are so desperate for your for your partner to cry that you're manipulating your children with haribos the promise of haribos to record this little message i don't know i mean i can understand it should be i should like it i know technically but actually in theory i think it's cringy i hate it i think because you know it's not that child's not playing that off their own they are you're telling them like fucking crazy let me press record start again try again you may that again like in one hand i can see the root with mums yeah i can see the what really went into that yeah 10 second cute voice recording and it was a lot of bribery and threats that's not romantic no no and then i just think yeah it just you just want your groom or your person to cry yeah and that's all it is and yeah it becomes like the baddest thing ever it's like when you try and get a nice photo of them for christmas to use on the christmas card or whatever you get one nice photo and there are about a hundred mistakes yeah of like rubbish and it would be the same exactly the same with voice notes you're gonna be there again if you ever want to see youtube again yeah you're gonna say this 500 robux yeah just please say this and then i just sound really cute as you're saying it no again no cuter get it together like yeah no big expectation i don't like that either right entrances do we like before the bride or like after slash with the bride see i think it used to be a bit old school to have them afterwards yeah yeah i think before 100 before do you like them i like the builder i do like the build-up i like the staggered before as well and sometimes they come down all too quick together and it's still one after the other but it's like in a line yeah but they're like walking in like a queue yeah i hate that yeah there needs to be a little like let me have a little walk through yeah little gaps i think another one if you've got a wedding planner worth your salt yeah then they will they will don't write no tell me right you go right today right you right next yeah right you stay there um yeah i my friend got married at a venue and this was oh it made me so angry but just open the doors and like so we were all stood there and that the bride was stood there and they could you could see the bride stood there waiting with her dad and then we're just like oh and she timed it to go down at a particular part of the song and and they were they were shocking they were awful it was the venue coordinator they just opened the doors they just opened the doors and we're all just there like we weren't hit she wasn't hidden around the corner she didn't get a moment so angry it was just yeah so i always think yeah before i think time yeah if you are a bridesmaid don't run down the aisle take your moment do what my bridesmaid did and fall down the aisle oh my wedding was in like a barn and basically it was that we looked at it as a reception but there was a second room that really wasn't fit for purpose yeah i wanted it as my ceremony room it's really rustic i was like it's really dark yeah i was like i'm gonna fairy light it all up like i was thinking like um ross and emily's from friends like really the chapel ruins yeah yeah like i liked it it stunk of like horse but we we used it anyway but the floor was that really uneven concrete so there was we did a runner down there down the aisle like a white runner but underneath that fucking runner yeah it was really what we did a practice and everyone was like this is hard like it's gonna be hard yeah who's gonna fall no one's gonna fall my friend erin bless her little erin little four foot nothing erin and she just absolutely stacked it down the aisle and i'm there like she's fine she absolutely she bossed it she carried on started out and because it was erin and she is just a bit like clumsy and everyone just sort of found it really funny but she she doesn't get embarrassed either she's just a legend um but yeah she did fall it's a funny story yeah i always say that about weddings i'm like the things that go wrong you'll cherish add to the character to the play yeah because everything goes seamlessly it's like oh it's nice wedding yeah it's nice do you remember when thingy's uncle knocked himself out on this or like fell over or passed out drunk i had cousins that one of my cousins had a nap like in a bush because she was just drunk too much and then my mother-in-law fell asleep in the car i bless again so message us if it's like yeah thing that you've seen happen at wedding one wedding i went to the girl that was sat on this particular guest table no either everyone else was driving or not drinking for whatever reason so she basically had two bottles of wine at the i know at the other table um what's the word i'm thinking breakfast yeah they're doing breakfast she was lost though she threw up violently in the toilet and then and then she was just laying on the sofa in like the reception absolutely sparked out like and her husband had to like just throw in the taxi but to be fair it wasn't her fault no kind of no one else was thinking she didn't realize yeah yeah all right mom yeah if you don't have one passed out guest it's a shit wedding anyway yeah someone's got to throw up or she found it but we went to my friend's wedding once and i thought my friend simon shout out simon um he we thought he'd left the wedding um so we've been we're like oh simon's gone home at like nine yeah we'd all carried on dancing and partying and whatever so it's like midnight we're all kicking out and we're stood waiting for a taxi and we just hear from the bush behind us like guys he's just gone for a sleep that's the last one yay or nay bridesmaids in white obviously that's all right so obviously it's less controversial because we know the bride has had something to do with that right yeah so that is the only exception that it's okay to wear white for a wedding if you're about how do you feel about me okay so i absolutely adore the princess of wales yeah and her husband i don't he's my poster on my school locker oh really i know in the middle of the southampton comprehensive school you can imagine how cool i was honestly it's a mystery why i got bullied at school honestly but no so i absolutely adore them always have yeah um i loved pippa midgerton's dress i thought it was gorgeous i don't it's a person i what about i don't like it you don't like what about if the bride's wearing a color if the bride's wearing a color yes that's okay okay maybe but i don't know if there's just part of me when i can understand it looks really clean and aesthetically beautiful and however when you're stood there the bride just doesn't pop enough if the bridesmaids are in white yeah it looks really cool really chic yeah and i can see the merit of that of like it does look really gorgeous but it just doesn't make my heart sing no because if and if if you're wearing like a bride you're a bride and you're wearing a big ball gown yeah and a big veil yeah you are going to stand out but i just think it blurs in it blends in too much i would say the trumpets probably don't like it not a fan um what about bridesmaids in black oh i love that i love that same wedding i was talking about where they i had like nine people to make up they had black bridesmaid dresses and they were just sexy yeah so nice and they had a little bit of like a dusting of beading around the neckline but just black like satin stunning and they weren't maxi they were like mid mid actually almost like just above like shin makeup with a slit one beautiful at band camp which will be a record one time no i do get it just one time at band camp she gets a millennial i am a millennial you're just an elder millennial and i'm like the mid-range millennial gather around children let me tell you the story of that's a lovely time to say goodbye because uh we have probably talked and we've got school runs to do another yeah children's pick up other things to do but thank you all for listening again and don't forget to like and subscribe leave a review and we will see you next week see you next week for episode seven lucky number seven right thanks bye